by Stella Brie
I nod in agreement. He calls over the sommelier and orders a couple glasses of the Malbec. He motions for the server to come back for our order.
“Hi Andrew, thanks for waiting on us tonight.” Raising the menu, he orders, “We’re going to mix it up with a ‘create your own’ platter. We’ll take one crab-stuffed filet, medium rare, and one of the ginger-glazed Mahi-Mahi.” He looks at me. “Why don’t we each pick a side and share those, too?”
“Hmmm, how about the parmesan risotto?”
“Great. We’ll take one parmesan risotto and one grilled asparagus. And two lamb chops. Not the entire dish, just the chops. And a few plates so we can split everything,” he says as he finishes ordering. “All good with you?”
“I don’t have to choose?”
“No, you don’t have to choose.” He gives me a brief, serious look before he grins.
“It’s all good for me. I’m not sure if I can eat that much, but I can’t wait to taste it all.”
He nods and turns back to Andrew. “Thanks, that will be all for now.” Turning back to me, he takes my hand. “Now, tell me about the worst first date.”
Shaking my head, I laugh as I tell him about my first date in college. “I had been crushing on this guy, Rob, in school. Every day, I’d flirt with him in biology. Finally, he asked me out. I spent all day getting my nails done, my hair blown out, and picking out the perfect outfit. He was about twenty minutes late picking me up, but he came to the door. When we get out to his car, he opens the back door for me to get in. Confused, I look in the front and notice a woman sitting in the driver’s seat. I get in the car, and he slides in behind me. He tells me to ignore the woman in the front seat, as that’s just his mom. He explains that he doesn’t have a driver’s license, but he asked her to drive us on our date. I’m almost dying at this point. We are in college, and his mom is driving us on our date?! I’m not sure what to think at this point, but I decide to make the most of it.”
Lev’s eyes widen. “Seriously?”
“Wait, it gets better. Or worse. We get to the restaurant, and his mom sits at the table with us! I introduce myself, and just as I begin to ask her questions, Rob reaches out and taps me on my arm to tell me I’m supposed to ignore her. How do you ignore someone sitting right there? She orders dinner for herself, so at least she is not sitting there doing nothing, but it’s so weird. At this point, I don’t know what to do. Rob, however, doesn’t seem to have the same problem, as he spends the entire dinner talking about himself. I basically mimic his mom and just sit there silently eating. Finally, we finish dinner, and Rob turns to his mom and tells her we will be outside while she pays the bill!” I am almost crying with laughter as I think about it. “We get to the car, and Rob asks where I want to go next. I tell him I have to work in the morning and need to get to bed early. While his mom is driving me home, he tries to kiss me in the back seat! I tell him no, and when we get back to the dorm, he refuses to walk me to my door. He’s pissed because I didn’t kiss him. OMG, it was literally the worst date ever.”
Lev is full-out laughing in horror at this story. “How old were you?”
“We were sophomores in college. Can you believe it?” I tell him, wiping tears from my eyes. “That was my worst first date ever. Nobody has ever topped it.”
“Well, I’ll try for one of your best first dates, since the award for worst is taken,” he replies, laughing.
Our food arrives, and we dig into the feast. Putting a little portion of everything on my plate, I start with the lamb chop first. It’s incredible, juicy, perfectly cooked. Delicious.
We talk about the practice and whether I’m enjoying Montana. I tell him about getting lost on the roads, my aversion to the frigid weather, and how despite all that I can see how people would love living here. It’s beautiful, there’s room to breathe, and it feels like a place where I can make genuine friends.
“Sarah tells me you moved here three years ago. With Shaw, Lowell, and Thayer?” I bite into the fish.
“We were all in the Army together and became as close as brothers. Well, Lowell and I were already close, because we grew up together in Chicago. When we were both twelve years old, we were placed in the same foster home. The couple was older. The man was a retired Army sergeant, and the lady was a housewife. Their only son, who had also been in the military, had died, and they didn’t have any family left. They wanted to foster a couple of kids, and the City placed Lowell and me with them. It turned out to be the best day of both our lives.” He smiles as he looks back. “When Lowell and I turned eighteen, we joined the Army. Even though Lowell was smart enough to get a scholarship to any school, he didn’t want me joining the Army without him,” he says as he shrugs. “For the first six years, we took unique paths, but we both rose through the ranks. When we were offered positions with a special operations force, we took it and made sure our assignment was to the same unit. That’s where we met Shaw and Thayer.” He pauses for a second as the server comes by to check on us.
“I would like another glass of wine, please.”
“Yes, ma’am. Lev, would you like another glass?” Andrew asks.
“No, I’m driving. Please refill my water, though?” Lev asks him.
Grabbing a pitcher, Andrew refills the water and goes to order my wine.
“You were in a special operations force? Like the SEALs?”
“SEALs are a Navy special operations force. We were in the Army, but yes,” he replies.
“How long were you in the Army?”
“From the time we joined until we retired, Lowell, Shaw, and I were in it for fourteen years. Thayer was in for six years,” he says as he thinks about it.
I stare at him as I contemplate asking about them all living together. I don’t want to seem nosy or that I’ve been gossiping about him, but I am curious.
Lev had been watching the thoughts flit across my face. “You want to know why we all live together, don’t you?” he asks.
I bite my lip. “I don’t want to pry, though, believe me, so if it is not something you want to discuss, that’s fine with me. I don’t need to know.”
A small smile plays on Lev’s lips. “We all went through some intense times during the years we served in the special operations force. We lived together and ate together in down times and during operations. The intensity and close proximity to death made us into brothers. Our lives in each other’s hands. I’m not sure we even know how to operate without each other anymore. When Shaw’s dad died, he inherited the ranch, and we all decided it was time to get out and start a new life. At first Shaw needed a lot of help getting the ranch in order, so it made sense just to move in together, and we ended up staying.”
Thinking it through for a second, I get it. After all, I, more than most people, know how traumatic situations can shape a relationship. It had forged their brotherhood in fire. For me, it had twisted my relationship with Collin into shards of ice. Ice that drew blood at will.
Softly, I tell him, “I understand.”
He looks into my eyes and sees I truly understand. Frowning, he reaches for my hand, rubs his thumb, and squeezes. “I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories. Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, I don’t.” I shake my head as I push away the thoughts clamoring for attention. Changing the subject, I inject lightness into my voice. “The food is delicious, but I’m stuffed.” Pushing away my plate, I set down my napkin and motion with my hand. “If you will excuse me for a second, I need to use the restroom.”
Standing up, he lets me out. He’s still frowning as he assesses my face.
Schooling my features into a pool of blankness, I smile and squeeze his hand. “I’ll be right back.” I use the restroom and look at myself in the mirror as I wash my hands.
Stop letting those memories ruin your life, I order myself.
Chin up, I dry my hands and return to the table. Lev is still eating when I return. He stands up to let me into the booth.
“I...”
“Just...”
“You first,” he tells me.
“I just want to say I’m sorry for cutting you off, especially after you shared yourself with me. It’s just that I’m not ready to talk about my past yet. Maybe never,” I explain.
“Sweetheart, you don’t have to explain anything to me,” he says as he reaches for my hand. “When you are ready to talk about it, I’ll be here, OK?”
Internally chiding myself, I look down at my lap. He’s being so nice about things, but what if he doesn’t really feel that way? Why did I let the past in on our date?
Lev puts a hand on my chin and raises my face so he can look into my eyes. “Kate...?”
“Dammit, our first date was going so well, and I feel like I ruined it,” I blurt, irritated with myself for letting my past get to me.
Laughing, he shakes his head. “Believe me, there’s no way that could happen. I want to get to know the real you, not the fake show you put on for most people. And I want you to get to know the real me. Believe me, after being in the Army for so long, I have quite a few ghosts of my own poking up from the past. We all just manage, however we can, to get through to the next day. I’ve had a wonderful time tonight, and if I get a kiss at the end of the night, it will be a perfect first date.”
Narrowing my eyes, I scan his smiling face. Sincerity shines out of his eyes. I can’t really deny the “fake show,” but the fact that he can see it tells me he pays way more attention to me than I had realized. What is he going to see when he has known me a long time?
Looking at my watch, I notice it’s about 11 p.m. We had talked all night. I lick my lips as I think about kissing him. When I look up, he is staring down at them. He leans over, angling his head...
“I’ll just leave this check right here,” Andrew says as he hastily drops the bill on the table.
Groaning, Lev raises his head and looks at me. “So close. Let me settle with Andrew, and we’ll get out of here.”
He pulls out some bills for Andrew’s tip and signs a receipt for the meal. As he is the owner, he doesn’t pay, but he explains that they use it for accounting purposes.
Reaching for my hand, he helps me out of the booth and grabs our coats on the way out. As we wait for the valet, he wraps his arms around me from behind and rubs my arms to help combat the cold. He’s so warm. It’s like having a cozy fire at my back. Hmm. I’ve always felt tall at 5’9”, but even with heels, he and I fit well together.
As we drive back to Lockeland Valley, I can’t help thinking of kissing him. Besides the peck on the cheek I gave Lev on Monday, I hadn’t kissed a man in several years. It’s stupid, but I’m nervous. Biting my lip, I wonder if I will be any good. Do I even remember how to kiss?
We arrive at my apartment in the blink of an eye. Lev shuts off the SUV and comes around to help me out. Walking into the practice, he follows me up the stairs and into the apartment.
His eyes trace my features, my nervousness apparent. “I had a wonderful time tonight. One of the best first dates ever,” he tells me.
“Thank you for a wonderful meal and evening.” I step closer to him.
“I’d love to see you again.”
“Me, too,” Another step closer.
He seems to read the hesitation in my face. “I’ll call you this week,” he says as he turns towards the door.
“Lev, wait,” I reply huskily. “I...”
Reaching up, I tug his head down to give him a kiss. Softly, I brush my lips over his.
Mmm, soft, but so firm, too.
I kiss him again, taking my time to pull on his bottom lip and suck lightly on it. Pulling my mouth away, I stare at his plump lips. Just one more...as I go to kiss him a third time, he breaks.
Wrapping his arms around me, he pulls me in tight and deepens the kiss. Running his tongue across my lips, I open to allow him entry. He strokes my tongue, playing and sucking lightly. Moaning, my hands slide under his jacket as I rub up against him. Kissing him is like kissing the sun. His warmth spreads through me, melting the ice that had encased me for so long. It was addictive. I had forgotten how to feel truly desired. Kissing him back, my need grows fast, like a fire out of control. It had been so long since I had desired someone, kissed someone, I’m overwhelmed and a bit frantic.
Finally, I turn my head to the side to get some much-needed air. His mouth doesn’t stop, though, as it moves from my mouth along my cheek to my ear and neck. Lev’s lips skim over my ear, leaving little kisses before continuing down my neck. Shivering, I gasp as he hits the middle of my neck, a hot point for me. When he hears me gasp, his hips jerk forward, and I can feel his desire. I moan as the feel of him makes me want more. The sound seems to send a jolt through him.
Pulling his mouth from my neck, he rests his forehead on mine as he tries to slow down his breathing. Looking up into his eyes, I notice they are dark green pools of desire.
Smiling down at me, he says huskily, “Sweetheart, this is exactly why we went out tonight instead of having our first date here. I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you, and I could so easily get lost in you. But I want to take it slow, so I’m going to say goodnight.”
What? Wait a minute. “What if I want you to stay?” All my nervousness is gone now.
Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath. Opening them, he stares at me intently. “You don’t, not yet, not completely. When you’re ready, without a single doubt, you’ll know it, and I’ll know it. For now, we’ll take it slow.” He takes my hand and places it against his racing heart. Ending the night just as we had begun it. “Just think of all the things we can do together first.” He gives me a wicked smile and soft, lingering kiss. “Thank you for an incredible first date. Goodnight, sweetheart, and sweet dreams.” Taking a deep breath, he releases me. Walking over to the alarm, he sets it and walks out the door.
I flop down on the couch. Tonight didn’t go as I expected. The plan was to have a fun first date with someone who seemed like the perfect fling to get me over this dry spell. Instead, it’s the most incredible date. The kind of date where you imagine where it could lead before it’s even started. Lev is warm, funny, sexy, smart, loyal, and so much more than I could have imagined. Am I ready, though? It might have been three years since I had anyone in my life, but the last year of my life with Collin had been hell, lacking in every way. I’m just not sure I’m ready to open myself up, especially for anything serious. On the other hand, I’m tired of being alone. Tired of letting Collin win.
Yawning, I force myself to go to bed and think about it tomorrow.
CHAPTER 9
KATE
Lev texts me the next day and asks for a second date. He’s definitely in pursuit, and my body tingles as I think about our first date, the kiss, and all the things we can do as we take things slow.
I groan. He was right, I’m not ready emotionally, but damn, our chemistry is unbelievable, and I find myself unable to resist the temptation to see him again. I say yes.
Monday at lunch, Sarah grills me about the date. I smugly tell her the dress was a huge success, the date was incredible, and we are going out again soon.
In turn, Sarah tells me all about her crappy date for the weekend with another ranch hand. Swearing them off for good, she threatens to quit the practice and move to a big city so she can find her sophisticated dream man.
Laughing, I tell her I like the men in Montana.
By Wednesday, I’m definitely missing Lev. My phone pings at lunch with a text from him.
Sweetheart, why don’t you come up to the bar tonight so I can see your beautiful face? My treat for dinner.
Would love to see you, too. How about six?
Six works. See you then and be careful. If you want to walk, I’ll bring you home afterwards.
I smile the rest of the day. Sarah just laughs at me.
After the practice closes, I go upstairs to get ready. Throwing on dark jeans and a black sweater, I grab my keys and walk over to The Black and Gold. Entering th
e bar, I see Lev talking to a beautiful blonde woman behind the bar. She’s got her arm around Lev as they stare down at a piece of paper in Lev’s hands.
Hmm, that’s cozy. We’re not exclusive, but the thought of Lev also dating someone he works with is hard to swallow.
Looking up, he spots me and motions me over to the end of the bar. He holds up a hand to indicate he needs five minutes. I take off my coat and sit down.
The bartender comes over and leans over to smile at me. “What can I get you, doll?” he asks as he hands me a menu.
I look at the list of beers on tap and ask for the IPA. He tells me that’s an excellent choice and goes to get my beer. Lev comes up to him and says a few words. The bartender hands him the glass, and Lev finishes pouring my beer. Setting down the beer in front of me, he walks around the bar to my stool and pulls me up out of my seat.
What is he doing?
Lev wraps his arms around me and gives me a giant hug.
Hmmm, he smells like man, food, and fire.
Easing off a bit, he continues to hold me as he looks down at me. “Hello, sweetheart,” he says, smiling. “I couldn’t get you off my mind and needed to see you.”
Smiling back, I reach up and rub my hand across his jaw. “Hmm, hello to you, too. I might have thought about you once or twice.”
Frowning, he leans down and whispers in my ear, “I should give you more than just a kiss if you can forget me so easily.” Blowing in my ear, he makes me shiver. Pulling back, I see he has a big smile on his face.
Flushing, I tease him back. “Well, there’s a lot of possibilities beyond a kiss.”
Groaning, he removes his hands from my body, “You win. I still need to walk, and if I think about those possibilities, that will become difficult. And I also need to be here for another hour.”
Laughing, I sit down and order a burger and fries. Shaking his head, he goes off to enter my order.
“I don’t believe we’ve met,” a cool voice says to me from behind. I turn around on the stool and stare at the blonde I had seen with Lev earlier.
