“Why should I trust you, any of you?” I don’t meet Grim’s eyes when I ask. It seems he may be the only one who ever really tried to help me.
“You can trust us,” Gunnar announces, causing Calix to hang his head back on his shoulders and groan at the brute’s tone. “You trusted me to stay in your house and to seek me out at the club.” Gunnar makes an effort to soften his voice.
“That was before I knew you guys abandoned me,” I argue, speaking the truth.
“None of us really abandoned you, Damiana.” Calix sets the meat back down on the counter and holds up his hands to stop me when I open my mouth to argue. “I know if feels like that now, but we’ve all been around more than you know. We’ve all tried to help you along the way, even if it doesn’t seem like it. Give me…give us,” he amends begrudgingly, “a chance to prove that to you.”
Could that be true, or is it just wishful thinking on my part? “You better not do anything to scare my friends away, and I’m still not cleaning up after you,” I warn.
I’m smarter than this. I shouldn’t be letting them stay, but there’s some part of me that wants them to. Stupid loneliness.
Grim pulls out a stool from under the island, and he places his hand on my back, urging me forward to sit. I jerk away from him a little. I’m not ready for him, or any of the others for that matter, to touch me.
My hormones and head don’t always agree on the order in which I should get what I want. I’m hoping my head will win this battle and hold out for answers, while my body just wants to jump any one of them right here in the kitchen.
I eye Gunnar while he starts helping Calix put away the groceries. Something about him puts me on edge more than the others. I’ve never been one for an angry fuck, but I feel like I could give it to him good.
Grim doesn’t acknowledge the way I spurned his touch. He just pulls out the stool next to me and takes a seat. He inspires a different kind of lust. He’s always so calm and in control, and I’d like to see him tied to my bed, with my black sheets under him and the black blindfold over his eyes. Nothing else. I bet I could make him squirm.
I put my elbows on the counter and cover my eyes with my fingers, while massaging my temples with my thumbs. “What were we talking about upstairs?” I blurt. I have to get these thoughts out of my head.
“You asked why you can’t always sense the truth from us,” Grim supplies without an ounce of hesitation.
“Right, right, and you said you had a theory,” I murmur, recalling the beginnings of the conversation, and urging him to continue.
“Telling whether or not someone is lying to you is a defense mechanism. Maybe some part of you knows you don’t need to use that awareness with me, us,” Grim concludes, amending his slipup.
“Or, you could be blocking me somehow. I just learned about wards, there are a lot of things I’m sure I don’t know about.”
“Wards are cast by witches,” Gunnar states, sneering the last word. “We aren’t witches.”
“You work for one,” I reason.
“I don’t work for her. We have the mutual displeasure of working together. Believe me, it’s not something I enjoy.”
I again try to tell if he’s being truthful, but I can’t. “Why work with her at all then?”
“The witches need to be kept in line, and I’m the one who has to do it, for now,” Gunnar replies.
“Wait, didn’t you say a coven ambushed you? That’s how you ended up hurt here.” I look at the others for confirmation. “A witch’s coven?”
“Yes.” Gunnar scowls and I hear a distinct snicker from Calix.
A loaf of bread goes sailing right over the spot Calix’s head was moments earlier and splats into the wall. The bag explodes on contact, sending crumbs and slices of bread to the floor. Calix pops right back up and puts another roast into the freezer.
“Not all covens take kindly to being watched,” Gunnar continues, as if uninterrupted. “I got a little lazy,” he admits, while brushing is hands together. “But rest assured, I took care of that threat.”
“A little lazy? Last I heard, you haven’t even left the city in years. You’ve been sending your men out to keep an eye on the other covens,” Calix challenges.
“Vanessa’s coven is one of the largest in the country. Hers is the gauge which the others in the region use as a guide,” Gunnar defends indignantly.
“And it had nothing to do with the fact that you didn’t want to get too far away from Damiana?” Calix taunts.
Gunnar takes a step toward Calix. “Knock it off.” I slap my hand on the top of the island. The sting on my palm is welcome.
Gunnar levels a nasty look at Calix but resumes putting away the groceries as if he’s accustomed to the domestic task.
I feel the heat of Grim’s arm as he lays it across the back of my stool. “While we were chosen to be your guardians, we also have other duties,” he adds.
“I can pretty much guess yours.” I give him a little snort. “What about you, Calix?”
“I keep the beasts in line.” He leans his hip against the island. “The largest shifter population is in Russia, so that’s where I spend most of my time.”
“Lion: king of not just the jungle, huh?” I joke.
Calix preens under my gaze, straightening his back and licking his lips. “Yes, my queen.”
“Give me a break,” Gunnar barks.
I giggle. “So what sorts of shifters are there?”
Calix takes a deep breath and looks up at the ceiling in thought. “Wolves have the largest numbers, bears, hyenas, all kinds of cats.” He shrugs. “There are more, but those are the most dangerous predators. Then there are the others, like me and the dragons, but we’re not the same. We’re born, not turned.”
My mind is spinning with all this new information. Witches and shifters are real. How many other supernatural beings are there? “How come I don’t know any of this? How is it I’ve seen Will-o’-the-Wisps and Wraiths, but I had no clue about Berserkers and Newmans like you?”
Gunnar snorts.
“Nemean lions,” Calix corrects.
“You should have grown up without any of this knowledge,” Grim states from beside me. “It’s my fault the nightmares come to you.” His eyes meet mine.
“What do you mean?” I turn in my seat so I can see him better.
“You called to me as a child, a babe.” Grim’s voice dips lower, as if he’s divulging a secret. “Your soul called me. You were dying.”
“What?” Calix gasps in disbelief.
“Why didn’t you tell us this?” Gunnar snaps.
Grim ignores him and answers my silent questions. “You really were starving to death.” He reaches out and slowly smooths his finger over my cheek. I’m too shocked to even try to stop him. “I couldn’t let you die.” The embers of fire begin to glow within Grim’s eyes. “I tethered your soul to your body, making it impossible for anything to kill you. But there was a cost.”
I search Grim’s eyes for answers, and he licks his top lip. “I don’t have an explanation for why you were starving, Damiana, but when I fed you, it turned you into a beacon for them. I didn’t even realize it until I came back one night and found you playing with a Deep One.”
“A Deep One?” I scan my thoughts for what he could be referring to.
“Little girl, white dress, comes from the bottom of the ocean,” Grim explains, describing one of my childhood friends.
“You mean Cece,” I correct him.
He closes his eyes on a long blink. “I observed you with her. You two played together for hours, and you smiled.” Grim watches me intently.
“I haven’t seen her in years,” I muse. I’d almost forgotten about her. She did tell me she came from the sea, and as young as I was, I didn’t understand, so I just started calling her Cece.
“I’m sorry I didn’t protect you—”
“Protect me? From Cece?” I interrupt Grim. Reaching over, I grab hold of his arm. It’s the first time
I actually feel gratitude toward him since he told me they were supposed to be my guardians. “Don’t ever apologize for that. Without her and Uncle, I would have gone insane.”
Grim’s mouth thins to a slash. “You shouldn’t have needed me to feed you. That part of you should have been dormant until you were much older.” He doesn’t do as good of a job maintaining his calm demeanor now.
I drop my hand from his arm and let his words sink in. I should have been a normal child. The idea of what could have been—how different my life would have been—sends a pang to my chest, but then I wouldn’t have Uncle, Redmon, or Aeson. I can’t imagine a life without them. I never felt like I was part of my birth family anyway. I always secretly thought I was adopted.
“You should have told us she almost died,” Gunnar insists, unaware of my thoughts.
Grim comes to his feet. “Why? Could you have done something to change it?” His voice booms with several layers at once, his calm exterior shattered.
Gunnar lets out a hissing breath. “No, yet you should have told us. She’s not just yours!”
“Shut up,” I mutter angrily.
The bickering continues. “It was a big deal. You should have told us,” Calix agrees, taking Gunnar’s side.
“See? Even the animal gets it.” Gunnar throws his hand in Calix’s direction.
“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” I slap my hands on the island again, while getting to my feet. “What the fuck is wrong with you people?” I trade a glance with each of them. Grim is the only one of them that meets my stare. Gunnar suddenly finds the floor very interesting, while Calix is pretending to examine the few boxes and bags still on the counter.
“Can you for, like, five fucking minutes, not think about yourselves?” I ask rather calmly. “Would that be okay? So maybe I could get some fucking answers?” The calm doesn’t last, though. By the end of my statement, my sarcasm is on full display, and I’m shouting again.
Chapter 15
“Grim, please.” I roll my wrist in an effort to tell him to continue. My hands are trembling, and my insides feel a little like Jello.
I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I have Grim to thank for my entire existence. Without him, I wouldn’t have survived infancy.
“I failed to keep you safe,” Grim admits again without hesitation.
“No, you didn’t, and that’s not what I want to hear. Feel sorry for yourself later. I want to know why—if you saved me—you didn’t show yourself to me. Why didn’t you ever stick around long enough to give me an explanation?” I demand.
Grim takes a shallow breath. “I feared it would leave you even more open to other supernatural threats. I monitored the beings that visited you. I knew they had no intention of ever seeing you hurt: they were drawn to you, they protected you.” Grim lifts his palms a little and his lips tighten into a thin line. “I didn’t know what the consequence of my visits would be. I had no idea if your mind or your body would withstand all of this information. Humans aren’t supposed to see into our world the way you do.”
“I’m not human,” I nearly spit, taking offense. Humans are weak and shallow.
“No, but when you were born, you should have been as fragile and naive as a human,” Grim reasons with me. “Children are more open to the supernatural world around them, so I thought if I let you grow up, you would forget about the nightmares that visited you, until it was time for you to awaken. I was trying to protect you.”
I plop back against the stool, not really sitting, but still needing it to lean against to stay on my feet. “I never forgot them, not any of them,” I inform Grim. After a brief pause, I add, “Fine, whatever. I can almost understand your reasoning, even if I think it’s stupid, but why wait so long?” I include the others in the conversation now. “I’m thirty years old, old enough to know the truth about myself, to have awakened, or whatever the hell you called it.”
Calix takes a few steps closer until he’s just opposite me on the other side of the island. “We really did think you would seek one of us out. We all agreed that three mates would be too much.”
I let out an unladylike snort. “Speak for yourselves.” I plant my hands on my hips.
Calix continues as if I didn’t just challenge him and interrupt him in one sentence. “Have you ever felt like you were missing something, someone?”
I scrunch up my face and look around. “Is that a joke?” What the hell kind of question is that? Of course I’ve been missing something my entire life.
“Were you ever tempted to find it? Are you drawn to any of us?” Gunnar lifts his chin slightly in the air, waiting for my response.
I cross my arms over my chest. “So, that’s what you’re waiting for: me to just pick one of you. And then what—you think I’ll become your property? Ain’t happening, Kitten,” I declare, sparing the others a glance after looking down my nose at Gunnar. “As to the question of whether I’m drawn to one of you, I wouldn’t kick any of you out of bed for eating crackers, but that’s just basic attraction. You’re all fuckable, but I don’t particularly like any one of you.” I pause. “Well, maybe you, a little.” I give Grim a wink, holding my fingers pinched close together.
Which is met with grouching from Gunnar. “You only like him because he fed you. I was around, too. I’m the one who brought you all the stones,” he replies crossly.
I slowly turn to face the man-child who is about as close to a tantrum as an adult could get. “You were the one leaving the rocks?” I question.
“Not just rocks—they’re gemstones.” Gunnar folds his arms over his puffed-out chest.
“What happened to keeping our distance?” Calix fumes, his eyes narrowed at the other two men.
“I’ve already explained why that wasn’t an option for me, nor could I stay away once I met her.” Grim doesn’t even bother to sound contrite.
“Maybe there’s something wrong with you that you could, Calix.” Gunnar alleges. “The desire was almost uncontrollable. Maybe the connection isn’t so strong with you.”
“Fuck off, Berserker. Some of us have control of ourselves, unlike your unstable ass,” Calix snaps back, with just as much venom.
I take a good look at Calix, wondering if what Gunnar claimed might be true. Do I feel something different for him, from him?
I take in the lean lines of his body, the graceful way he moves, and all I feel at this moment is an undeniable attraction. That same pure feeling I had when I first met him at the club is still there, but it’s tainted with mistrust.
I observe Gunnar next. My hackles rise just looking at him standing there, snarling at Calix. There’s no denying I still find him alluring. All his scars stand as proof of his will to survive, to fight for what he wants, and I actually respect that. It doesn’t hurt that he’s built like a brick shit house—his biceps look like they could crush a coconut. I bet he could fuck for hours and not get tired. I flick my gaze away from him when he takes a step in my direction.
I force myself not to look at Grim, because if there is one to whom I’m more pulled, it would be him, and I’m not ready to acknowledge that.
“If you think I’m going to pick one of you, and we’ll live happily ever after or some shit, you’re wrong. I’m not that girl. I like dick, in all varieties. I’m not picking just one.”
“Is everything about sex with you?” Gunnar throws his arms in the air. “We’re not just talking about dicking. We’re talking about a connection, with feelings and shit.” He ruins his flowery words with the curse and the disdain with which they were delivered.
I lean forward. “Fucking is all I know about any kind of mating, you ass-munch.”
“I propose we do something about that,” Calix interjects, before Gunnar and I can start arguing. “That’s why we’re all here, so you can get to know us, decide which of us you’d like to be with.”
“You’re assuming that my choosing one of you is a forgone conclusion. I’ve already told you: I’m not picking one of yo
u. You want to stick around, let me get to know you?” I shrug as if it’s no skin off my hide either way. “But you need to prepare yourself for the inevitability that I might not choose any of you, or maybe that I’ll want all three of you.” Another shrug, and this one is accompanied with a twist of my lips. Might as well scare them away before I really do find myself liking one of them.
Calix looks at Gunnar first. I bet he’s gauging whether or not he’ll stick around. I watch him too, but he doesn’t open his mouth to argue—which surprises me—nor does he make a move to leave.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Grim states, before I even have a chance to glance at him. “If having them around makes you happy, I can choose to not kill them. I’ve suffered their existence this long.” He lowers his head an infinitesimal amount, like he’s conceding to me.
“I’m not bowing out, either,” Calix quickly adds.
I swear the width of Gunnar’s shoulders expands, but he lets out a deep breath and calmly declares, “I am agreeable to your terms.” He pauses, before adding, “For now.”
I scratch my eyebrow. Well, that’s not what I expected. I figured there would be a fight, and I would get rid of them all. I can’t say I’m that upset. Why not have three hot guys around trying to get you to ‘catch feelings for them?’
“No fighting,” I demand, when I can’t come up with anything else to say.
“There are bound to be…disagreements. How should we settle them?” Calix inquires, sounding all grown up and shit.
“Uh…” I look around the kitchen like it might provide an answer.
“We will discuss them,” Grim replies. “Any grievances should be addressed while we’re all together.”
“What he said.” I wave my hand in Grim’s direction.
“I think we need rules of engagement,” Gunnar announces, as if he’s planning a strategic maneuver instead of tiptoeing into the—dare I think it—dating game. Is that even what we’re about to do?
“What would you propose?” Grim settles himself with his ass leaning against my island. I find myself licking my lips. Damn, if he isn’t gorgeous.
Friends With The Monsters Page 13
