‘—I’m sorry I snapped when you said I was beautiful.’
He shook his head, waved her apology away.
‘Honestly, it meant a lot to hear you be so open with me.’
‘I know it might not seem so, but I do understand what it’s like to be judged on appearance. Of course not quite the same way you are.’
Her forehead furrowed and she gestured at his chest. ‘You? How could all this be judged?’
His smile held a hard edge. ‘I’ve been judged plenty, still am. When I was away in Melbourne playing for the VFL, some teammates were brutal.’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘They nicknamed me pretty boy, Ken, supermodel, anything they could come up with. A lot of them would muscle up to me and put me down …’ He groaned and all the shame he carried warmed his cheeks.
His words couldn’t portray how serious and insidious the bullying got. When he went to his coaches about it, he was laughed at and told to let a few pounds of pressure out of his big head.
Unwanted memories flashed in his mind. Hot breathing behind him. Rough hands on his back. His face shoved into the mattress.
He shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts, but already their attached emotions were storming through his veins. His mouth went dry.
Neve’s lips parted. ‘Wow. Really?’ She frowned. ‘Jager never told me that.’
‘Jager doesn’t know. My mother doesn’t even know. You’re the first person I’ve admitted it to.’ And even still, Neve was only hearing half of the story. There were things about that time he would never admit to anyone.
Sympathy shone in her eyes. ‘I’m really sorry that happened to you.’
He shrugged, though inside he was vibrating. ‘It’s all in the past.’ He could say that now with some conviction. But for years afterwards, he suffered deeply from that trauma.
‘People need to seriously stop being such judgemental arseholes,’ she hissed.
‘I couldn’t agree with you more.’ On the outskirts of his mind was a thick, encompassing blackness. It was pressing in on him. He stood, needing to go. He shouldn’t have opened up. ‘Anyway, Neve, I thought I’d hit the road.’
She frowned. ‘Oh, no. I’m like the vomit girl, aren’t I?’
He shook his head. ‘Of course not. I’ve had a great night. I’m just tired. A little out of sorts, actually. Too much to drink, I think.’ All lies, and he hated himself for it. But if bending the truth meant preserving her feelings and maintaining his friendship with Jager, then that’s what he’d do.
‘Oh, okay. Sure.’
‘Thanks for a great time. I’ll catch up with you later.’
She nodded. ‘Have a good night.’
‘You too.’
After he said goodnight to the rest of the guests, he climbed into a cab and headed home. He had to outrun the gloom or it would take him over. It had been so many years. He hit his fist against the seat and rested his head back, breathing deeply.
He shouldn’t have opened up; it created a small hairline crack, allowing long-suppressed memories to slowly seep through. But he could handle it with a decent night of sleep. And distraction.
The best thing … no, the only thing Anders could do was to stay the hell away from Neve. For her sake. For Jager’s sake. So, that’s what he would do.
Chapter 9
Neve climbed onto the bed and curled up beside her mother, lifting the blankets over both of them. Outside, the clouds were tinged with grey, casting a dark shadow in the room despite the bright fluorescent light overhead. The cold of winter was hanging around too long this year.
When Neve woke this morning all she wanted was her mother. The mother she used to be. The mother who would talk, console and offer advice.
Her mother still existed inside this broken shell—she simply couldn’t access her. But she could lay here and cuddle into the warmth she still gave.
A tear rolled down Neve’s cheek. She didn’t stop it. ‘I miss you,’ she whispered and her mum’s arm rose and shook about.
She stayed like that for a long while, wishing she could have a conversation—just one, where Mum would answer and contribute and they would laugh together like they used to.
The hours passed and Neve soon became an obstacle for the nurses who had duties to carry out—medicine, bathing, changing bed sheets—so she kissed Mum’s cheek and said, ‘I’ll see you in a couple of days.’
The drive back to Wattle Valley was sombre as though weights were placed on her shoulders and back. But as she neared the local football oval, she shut the compartment door, as much as was possible, on that part of her life. The only way she could cope with this reality.
Today’s football games were being held at the local field, and she had organised to watch them with Emily who was back from her honeymoon.
Neve wanted to support her brother. With the Wattle Valley Lions sitting second on the league ladder, the finals were in sight, which was exciting for the town. And, if she were to be honest, she wanted to watch Anders play too.
She had not seen Anders or spoken to him since the wedding ceremony three weeks ago. Highly unusual. So unusual, Jager had noticed his absence. He questioned last night while settling in for the Friday night AFL game on TV—something he and Anders watched together most weeks—if Anders may have been avoiding him.
His absence had left Neve with a sickly feeling in her belly that she had overstepped the line by nearly kissing him at Wil and Emily’s wedding. Because of this, she had the horrible sense that it was really her who Anders was avoiding.
She had opened her mouth to ask Jager if he thought the same, but then she would have to admit that she had rumblings of feelings for him, which would complicate matters even more. Not to mention make it awkward.
So, instead, she, in a way that sneaky sisters could do, made Jager think it was his idea that they hold a barbeque for the team at their house tonight. And if the captain of that team, one Anders Adams, didn’t show, then she didn’t require any more evidence that he was avoiding her.
Emily was already at the grounds when Neve arrived a little after lunch. The reserve grade had already taken the field and was losing dismally. Hopefully, that was not an indication of how the A-grade team would go.
They sat on a long bench on the big timber deck protruding from the clubhouse. The sun crept from behind the clouds, which made sitting outside more bearable, though Neve had prepared for the chill with thermal undergarments and a thick maroon, blue and gold supporters scarf.
This time of the season, most people sat in the clubhouse or stayed in their cars that were parked in a ring around the enormous grassed oval, and they would beep their horns in lieu of cheering when a goal was kicked.
‘So exciting,’ Emily said, rubbing her hands together. ‘How was Jager this morning? Nervous, I bet?’
She smiled. ‘He was pumped. Up early carb loading like he’s a professional athlete.’
Emily laughed loudly. ‘Nice to hear he’s taking it seriously. They will be the kings of Wattle Valley if they pull a premiership off this season. Twelve years since the Lions have done it.’
A shot of excited energy shot through Neve’s body. ‘There will be one hell of a party afterwards, that’s for sure.’
‘I wonder how Anders is,’ Emily said. ‘Must be a lot of pressure for a captain.’
Neve shrugged. ‘Not sure to be honest. I haven’t spoken a word to him since the wedding.’
Emily’s mouth fell open. ‘What? I assumed after the way you two were dancing together that I’d come back from my honeymoon to find you a couple.’
Neve shook her head, her shoulders sagging. ‘Nope. It was all a bit weird at the end of that night—he left early. I don’t know what happened.’
‘I did think it a bit weird he was leaving so soon when he came to say goodnight.’ She arched a brow and gave a cheeky grin. ‘I could get Wil to ask him if something happened.’
Neve shook h
er head hard. ‘No, no, that’s fine. It’s no big deal—’
‘Oh, please. I can tell you like him. Why do you think I paired you with him for the wedding?’ She finished with a devilish giggle.
‘You didn’t?’
She smiled. ‘You don’t spend three months on a reality dating show and not learn a thing or two about matchmaking.’
Neve blew out a long breath. ‘I might like him.’ She held her hand up, squeezing her thumb and finger almost together. ‘A teeny tiny bit. If only I hadn’t seen him naked, then I think I’d still—’
‘What the hell, Neve? You saw him naked? When? Where?’ She lowered her voice and narrowed her eyes. ‘How?’
Neve laughed. ‘It was purely by accident. Nothing … intentional.’
Neve told Emily about the incident and they were both in hysterics by the end of it as Neve recounted the look on Anders’ face when she charged through his front door.
‘He must have been—’ Emily cleared her throat, ‘—um … impressive to look at.’
Neve sighed. ‘My god, you have no idea. But the fact that he’s Jager’s good mate and Jager is super over-protective, makes it so risky and complicated.’
‘You’re how old? Twenty-six?’
Neve nodded.
‘I’d say that qualifies you as being an adult who is capable of making up your own mind, and well enough time for your big brother to butt out—’
‘Honestly, I know that. But if I start something with Anders … That’s if he’s even interested—’
‘He’s interested. Believe me. No guy looks at a girl like he’s about to devour her if he’s not keen.’
‘Like the way Wil looks at you?’
‘Exactly. That’s why I know these things. And plus, even a seven-year-old could see there’s a little something going on between you two.’
‘So, let’s say he makes a move and we spend a bit of time together and then it turns sour. I’m hurt and both Jager and Anders are left in a really complicated situation. I don’t want to ruin their friendship.’
‘You’re overthinking things.’
‘Really? Overthinking things? That’s not at all like me.’
Emily laughed. ‘Look, what if you and Anders spend a bit of time together and it goes really well? Full stop.’
Neve waved her hand and shook her head. ‘I’m getting ahead of myself. For starters, he’s avoiding me. And I’ll prove it when he doesn’t turn up to the barbeque Jager’s holding at home tonight.’
‘Trust me on this, he’ll turn up.’
She ignored Emily. ‘And secondly, he’s not really what I’m looking for. He’s a jump-in-and-get-married type. I’m not ready for that. Perhaps not even ready for a serious relationship.’ Her scalp tingled as she recalled the conversation they had after the bouquet was thrown at the wedding. She groaned.
‘What?’ Emily asked.
‘I think I know why he’s keeping his distance.’
‘Fess up.’
‘Our timelines aren’t compatible. He wants to get married and have children and I want something a lot less serious.’
Emily looked sidelong at Neve and smiled a smile that was almost smug. She opened her mouth to speak, but the circle of cars parked around the oval started beeping their horns. Neve and Emily’s heads spun to face the footy oval.
Typical Neve style—she had talked her way through to the end of the reserve grade and now the A-side was running onto the field.
People around them cheered in chorus with the honking.
Neve jumped to her feet and clapped and cheered for the team. Her focus was drawn to the man leading the pack and lingered on his tall and powerful form as he jogged towards the centre of the ground.
In his short-sleeved jersey and shorts, his muscled arms and legs were on full display. A breathtaking embodiment of athleticism.
He had to be nervous, though she couldn’t tell as he ran through warm-up drills with his team, and he went to each player one by one giving them their individual pep talk.
The sirens sounded and the players took their positions, some giving a few pushes or shoulder bumps to their opponents. Excitement tingled through Neve’s veins.
The game started with a centre bounce and the two ruckmen charged then leapt towards the falling football. Her body thrilled as Anders punched the ball towards their goal-end, the midfielder collecting it and offloading it via a long kick that Jager answered with a mark right on the border of their fifty-metre line.
Neve jumped in the air and cheered. ‘Come on, Jager. You’ve got this!’
Jager set up, jogged a few paces and booted the footy, sending it flying high and long until it sailed between the centre posts for a goal.
Neve squealed with excitement in time with Emily’s.
She grew up around weekends at the AFL grounds, travelling from country town to country town within the region to watch Jager play. It had been a major part of her life, and she had learnt to love it.
The next centre bounce went up and there was a lot of physical body-against-body power playing this time. The opposite team gathered the ball and handballed it off. The next player sprinted but was brought down by a massive tackle before he was able to dispose of the football.
‘Ball!’ screamed the crowd.
Wattle Valley Lions were awarded possession.
The game didn’t slow down for one moment. Every Lions’ player gave it their all, and when the final siren sang signalling that the Lions had won by eleven points, all the spectators cheered, clapped and beeped their car horns.
The team jumped and hugged one another as they jogged from the field, their uniforms plastered with mud and sweat.
‘Same time next week?’ Emily asked.
Neve beamed. ‘Absolutely. I’ve got a wedding party to do make-up for in the morning, but I should be done by lunchtime.’
‘I better get home. I’ve got some follow-up calls to make for an open house I held this morning.’ Emily was a real estate agent. Which was how she and Neve met. She was hired to sell the family home, so the proceeds would fund full-time nursing care for Mum. And she helped Jager buy his house for a great price.
‘I’m not going to hang around either. I need to drive out to Traralgon and grab a few things for tonight.’
Emily kissed Neve’s cheek. ‘Make sure you tell me how it all goes. Shoot me a text if Anders shows up. I want all the details.’
Neve grinned as she rolled her eyes good-naturedly. ‘Fine.’
Chapter 10
Today’s football match was the toughest game they’d had all year. Anders’ muscles were a little shaky as he showered and dressed, barely able to lift his arms. Not to mention the various bruises and scrapes he received. But there was no greater feeling than the blissful exhilaration and deep body ache he got after a winning footy game.
Cheerful banter was spraying around the locker rooms. Never had he heard his team sing their club song with quite so much vigour. Wattle Valley Lions not only making the finals but winning them, was becoming a belief.
‘See you blokes later,’ he said to the stragglers left in the change rooms and headed outside.
‘Wait up.’
Anders stopped and allowed Jager to catch up.
‘What’s up?’ Anders asked.
‘Just double-checking that you’ll make it to the barbeque tonight?’
‘Sure, mate. I’ll be there.’
Anders went to start walking again, but Jager didn’t follow. He stopped and turned back to him.
‘Are you ignoring me or something?’ A deep frown tugged at Jager’s lips.
Anders’ stomach twisted. ‘Of course not.’ He forced a smile and slapped Jager’s shoulder. ‘I’ve been so busy with work the last few weeks, I’ve had no time for anything.’ Achy heat filled his chest, for that was the second lie he had offered Jager in a matter of a few weeks. ‘I’ll see you tonight.’
Jager nodded and Anders walked off to his car.
In hin
dsight, it was wrong to have avoided Jager, aside from training and football matches, these last few weeks, but he needed the space to quiet the memories he had stirred. But mostly, he wanted time to understand these feelings he was developing for Neve. He wasn’t even dating Jager’s sister and yet his friendship was already being affected.
Later that evening, he was in his room, throwing on some jeans and a jacket when his phone buzzed with a message. He grabbed his mobile off the bed and glanced at the screen.
JAGER: Bring your golf clubs, we’ll go have a hit tomorrow.
Anders looked up to the ceiling and sighed. Usually, if he and Jager were having a few drinks, they’d crash at each other’s place to save on organising taxi’s home. If he wanted to get things back on track, he was going to have to keep up their rituals.
ANDERS: Sure thing.
Before he left the house, he packed a spare change of clothes, a few toiletries, and slung his golf bag over his shoulder. As he walked out the door, the tight swirling in his guts had him considering if he should give some lame excuse not to go. But he didn’t listen.
He arrived at Anders’ house and Neve greeted him at the door.
Seeing her again was like a punch to his chest—she was breathtaking, especially with her long blonde hair let down, tumbling over her shoulders and back. Her eyes were intensely blue. But those lips, the ripe plumpness of them had him wanting to turn and walk as fast as he could away because how in the hell could he pretend he didn’t want to kiss her?
‘Hi,’ he said and below his words was an apology for ignoring her these last few weeks. She was the last person who deserved that kind of treatment. Now that he was gazing at her beautiful face and hesitant smile, he knew he had been a major arsehole.
‘Come in. I wasn’t sure you’d make it.’
An offhand statement that had many more unstated questions attached.
‘No, of course … it should be a good night. It’s great to see you,’ he said, stepping through the door, thankful he had his golf clubs and bag occupying his hands because he wanted too much to lean in and kiss her soft cheek.
‘You too.’
‘I’ll just put these in the spare room out of the way.’
Meet Me in the Middle (Wattle Valley, #2) Page 7
