by Nancy M Bell
“This is a little better than under the front porch, hmm, Momma?”
Storm thumped her tail in agreement and settled her head on the padded rim of the dog bed, her back to the comforting warmth of the woodstove.
“How many did we end up with?” Cale’s voice startled Michelle.
“There are six so far. I hope she’s finished.” Michelle stood up and turned to look at Cale.
He was standing with his hands thrust in the front pockets of his jeans, his hair mussed and looking very sexy after his fight with the monster tree. Her insides turned to mush when he grinned and felt the heat rise in her cheeks as she smiled back. Her heart gave a little dip when Cale slid his jacket on and set his hat over his unruly hair.
“I assume Mary will arrange to deliver your truck in the morning and get the gossip first hand?” Cale paused with his hand on the door of the mudroom.
“She’ll be here bright and early. She better come bearing Tim Horton’s coffee and breakfast muffins, or I’m not letting her in.”
“I’ll warn her to come armed if I see her at the office.” Cale’s voice faded as he closed the door behind him.
Michelle watched him cross the porch and jump down the two stairs into the deep snow. She stood at the window until his tail-lights disappeared down the lane. Out of habit, she walked into the front hall and waited to see the lights go in the Chetwynd’s kitchen. No, not the Chetwynd’s anymore. Cale’s place now. Why did that feel so right? A light showed in an upstairs window, in what she knew used to be Mr. and Mrs. Chetwynd’s room. A sigh escaped her lips. For the first time since Rob deserted her for his dressage queen, Michelle allowed herself to remember the wonderful times they shared growing up. The first time Rob kissed her was after a branding. She could almost smell the hot, dry aroma of dust, singed hair and cow manure hanging in the early evening air. Both of them tired, dirty, and smelly. Rob’s hair reeked of smoke and sweat, his lips warm and alive on hers. She smiled. All her dreams and wishes came true in that one tiny moment in time.
Michelle shook her head, and noticed the light in Cale’s room had gone out while she reminisced about things better left in the past. Where they belonged.
Chapter Five
The shrill of the alarm cut through the dark December morning. Michelle rolled over and snuggled under the mound of quilts. She buried her face in the pillow and groaned at the sound of snow hitting her window and the soft music of the wind that found its way through the old window casings.
“I suppose it has to snow on Christmas Eve.” Michelle threw back the blankets and scurried to the bathroom to let the hot water tap run while she rummaged for the makeup bag she just knew was in the back of the cupboard somewhere. In the three minutes it took for the hot water to finally make it all the way up to her bathroom, she found the elusive makeup bag and dumped it out on the tiny dry sink pressed into service as her vanity. The mascara she used before the concert was more dried up than it had been then, so she pitched it in the garbage can. She set the new eye shadows and foundation on the ledge by the mirror and hopped into the now steamy shower.
Michelle’s thoughts wandered while she worked the shampoo through her hair. Last Christmas Eve, she and Rob were planning their wedding. The plans for the annual gathering at the Chetwynd’s were all complete; even George was home last year.
“The past is the past, get over it,” Michelle muttered sternly to herself.
Quickly, she finished her shower and dressed in work clothes before she ran down the stairs to check on Storm and the puppies. The black dog thumped her tail, giving Michelle the dog’s version of a smile, but didn’t disturb the sleeping puppies by getting up. The kettle was boiling as Michelle set a dish of food down by Storm’s head and gave her a pat. She crossed the floor and took the kettle off the stove before it could whistle. The scrunching of tires on the snow outside brought a smile to her face. Mary parked Michelle’s truck in its usual place and climbed out with two extra large double doubles and a bag of breakfast muffins. Score a point for Cale; she grinned at the thought.
Mary breezed into the kitchen, set the peace offering on the table, and hugged Michelle.
“Merry Christmas, Munchkin.” Mary used a pet name from Michelle’s childhood.
“Merry Christmas, yourself. You should be a dead woman after the stunt you pulled last night, but seeing as you brought Tim’s, I might just forgive you.” Michelle opened her coffee and took a huge gulp before she sat down at the table and snagged a sausage and egg breakfast muffin from the bag. “Ah, nectar of the gods!” she enthused as the coffee aroma tickled her nose, before the warm liquid slid smoothly down her throat.
“Okay, give. What happened last night? Dr. Cale was looking mighty pleased about something this morning when he came into the surgery.” Mary plunked herself down opposite Michelle and opened her own coffee.
Michelle regarded her with narrowed eyes just long enough to make Mary squirm. “I should tell you I walked home in the dark, or I got a ride with some slick city guy who tried to take advantage of me. I know you already weaseled it out of Cale and know he drove me home and checked on Storm, so I won’t waste my breath.”
“And…” Mary prodded. “What else, you can’t keep an old lady hanging. It’s not good for my heart.”
“You don’t have a heart, Mary.” Michelle snorted. “If you did, you wouldn’t have pulled that stunt last night.”
“Oh, Chelly girl, it’s time you let what happened with Rob go. I ran into his mom earlier this week. Rob and Kayla went to Vegas and got married last weekend,” Mary said gently.
For a moment, Michelle thought she might pass out as all the blood seemed to leave her head and gather in a painful knot in her chest. Though on second thought, she might just hurl instead. With an effort, she forced her mouth into a smile.
“That didn’t take him long, did it?”
“He really does love her, you know.” Mary held up her hand to stop Michelle when she opened her mouth to protest. “I watched you two grow up. You were high school sweethearts; neither of you ever dated anyone else. Then, when Rob started following the rodeo full time, I watched you grow apart. He loved the road, and you wanted to stay home and have babies.”
“He’s not rodeoing now is he? He’s hanging out with the dressage queen.” The words burst out of her mouth with more venom than she intended.
“Well, Ella said that he wasn’t giving up the rodeo, and Kayla didn’t want him to. She was surprised at how they seemed to just fit together. It’s so hard to think of one of you without the other.” Mary swirled the coffee in her cup.
“It really doesn’t matter if he married her or not, I guess. He wasn’t coming back here any which way.” Michelle’s anger deflated in defeat. “I think I always knew I loved him more than he loved me.”
“You’re still coming to the house tonight, aren’t you?” Mary changed the subject, much to Michelle’s relief.
“Yes, it seems weird not to be going to the Chetwynd’s though, doesn’t it?”
“It does, but everyone from town is going to drop in at some point. The Sunday School kids are going carolling, and so are the 4H kids from the Horse Club. You’re coming for dinner tomorrow, too. I won’t take no for an answer.”
Michelle laughed at Mary’s fierce look. “I wouldn’t miss your dressing and cranberry sauce for anything!” She reached for another breakfast muffin.
Storm lifted her head at the sound of the bag rattling. Michelle smiled at the entreaty in the dog’s eyes. She knelt beside the black dog and offered her half the sandwich. Storm took it daintily in her teeth and dropped it between her front paws to inspect it. Finding it satisfactory, Storm swallowed it on one gulp. With a sigh, she settled her head back down and closed her eyes.
“Did you chew at all?” Michelle asked the dog.
“They never really get over the distrust, do they?” Mary’s voice was sad.
“It’s early days yet, but no they never do.” Michelle agreed. �
�They think of food as bait and connect it with bad things happening to them.”
“Cale was telling Doc her leg is worrisome. The antibiotics don’t seem to be having the desired effect on the infection though her other wounds are coming along.” Mary spoke softly.
“He checked her over last night, after we put up the tree.”
“Cale helped you put up the tree?”
Michelle mentally kicked herself for supplying Mary with hot new gossip for her coffee klatch. Well, the harm was done now, she supposed.
“Yup, I wasn’t going to bother, but I had the damn thing in the wood shed, and he offered. It’s no big deal.”
“Umhmm.”
Michelle didn’t like the look in Mary’s eye. That look usually meant she was planning something decidedly underhand. It was her “matchmaking” look.
“Come see the puppies,” Michelle changed the subject.
Mary set her coffee on the table and crossed to the dog by the stove. Storm eyed her warily but relaxed when Michelle sat on the floor by her head.
“Oh, they’re little darlin’s aren’t they?” Mary stroked a tiny black head with her index finger. “What are you plannin’ to do with them all?”
“Haven’t the faintest idea.” Michelle shrugged. “Plenty of time to worry about that when they’re weaned, I guess.”
“What about her? You thinking on keeping her?
“Don’t know. I don’t think so. Maybe…”
“You need something to replace Rex, don’t you?”
“We’ll see.” Michelle was uncommitted.
Mary straightened up and retrieved her coffee. “I gotta get back and spruce the place up for tonight and tomorrow. See ya later, dear” The woman was out the door before Michelle got to her feet.
She grinned as the truck spit snow from under its tires. Mary hijacked the ranch truck to take her back to town rather than wait for Michelle to drive her. No doubt she’d have Cale return it to her and then she’d be forced to give him a lift back to town. Mary’s matchmaking never took a break. Damn, the woman was persistent.
* * * *
It was just gone five o’clock when Michelle climbed into her truck and turned the key. The engine growled into life. She smiled, drove out of the yard, and down the lane. The mound of packages piled on the seat teetered alarmingly but stayed in place. The first stars appeared, brilliant pin pricks of light in the ebony sky. A waning three-quarter moon hovered in the evening twilight, throwing a faint silvery glow over the snow-covered prairie. The country station was playing Christmas songs non-stop, so Michelle sang along with Dolly on “Hard Candy Christmas” as she drove into Longview.
Twenty minutes later, she pulled up in front of Mary and Doc’s house, killed the engine, and silenced “Christmas in Dixie” in mid-chorus. Doc came down the steps as she stepped out of the cab. In minutes, he had all the gaily wrapped parcels in his arms, leaving Michelle to follow up the rear with her offerings of shortbread cookies and bread pudding.
The warm air in Mary’s kitchen welcomed Michelle when she pushed through the door bearing her contribution to the potluck dinner. She deposited her dishes on the kitchen table before giving Mary a big hug. Doc came back into the kitchen after putting his load of presents under the tree in the big living room. He hugged Michelle and kissed her cheek.
“Merry Christmas, Chelly Belly.”
“Merry Christmas, Vet Man.”
Michelle laughed out loud at the look on Mary’s face.
“You, two!” Mary scolded in mock exasperation. “I haven’t heard you use those nicknames in ages. I thought you said you were too old to call Doc Vet Man anymore.”
“It’s Christmas, Mary!” Doc responded. “She can call me anything she wants, as long as it’s not Late for Dinner. Come in by the tree and let me get you some wine.”
Doc slung his arm around her shoulders and steered her into the living room. The atmosphere in the large room was bright with the sound of laughter, the tree sparkling in the alcove of the large bay window. Michelle accepted a glass of wine and smiled as Doc scurried off to answer Mary’s summons from the kitchen.
Michelle visited with everyone; the warmth of friends and community spread over her in a comforting blanket. For the first time since Rob left, she felt at peace. Mary came out of the kitchen and settled herself at the piano whose shiny surface reflected the lights on the tree. Michelle drifted over to it, along with most of the guests in the room. The sound of Christmas carols rose in sweet harmony. Michelle blinked tears from her eyes as the memories of other Christmases surfaced in her thoughts. Gramma and Grampa Pete, Dad and George—they had all celebrated here in this room over the years. She clamped the lid on her thoughts when Rob’s face danced across her inner eye. Michelle turned her attention back to the carol Mary was playing and added her voice to the swelling chorus of “Angels We Have Heard On High”.
A cool draft swirled through the room when the door in the kitchen opened and closed. Michelle glanced over her shoulder to smile a welcome to the newcomers. The smile died on her lips; her throat constricted painfully. Rob and Kayla stood in the archway from the kitchen leading into the living room. Michelle’s lips moved with the words of the carol, but there wasn’t enough air left in her lungs for any sound to come out. The heat of embarrassment and humiliation crept up her neck. Every eye in the room was fixed on her; she just knew it. She wrestled with her temper. She would not scratch those periwinkle blue eyes out of the girl’s head. She would not remove certain parts of Rob’s anatomy and serve up a special dish of prairie oysters for an appetizer. Michelle was determined to hide her feelings and behave like a grown-up. A faint spark of amusement flashed through her mind at the memory of her Gramma telling her to do just that. Except that time, Michelle was planning revenge on a fourteen-year-old Rob for dunking her in the water trough.
“Rob, Kayla, Merry Christmas.” Michelle broke the deafening silence that descended as the carol singing trailed to an end.
“Merry Christmas, Michelle.”
Ignoring the apologetic look on Rob’s face, she stepped closer to Kayla and gave her a perfunctory peck on the cheek. Michelle barely heard Kayla’s quiet reply through the sound of her pulse roaring in her ears. She needed to get out of the room, somewhere quiet. Idiot man, it was just like him to pull a stunt like this. Michelle picked up the empty chip bowl off the piano, gripping it like a life line. She smiled brightly, murmured something about refilling it and escaped to the kitchen. She braced both hands on the counter, the empty bowl sitting forgotten between them. Breathe, just breathe. Finally, the surreal feeling of disconnection faded. Now what to do? Every part of her rebelled at the thought of re-entering the cozy living room. Snatching her coat from the pile in the spare room off the kitchen Michelle bolted out the back door.
“Coward,” she berated herself.
Nonetheless, she jammed the key into the ignition and reversed out of the driveway. The back end of her pickup slid sideways on the snowy road. Michelle eased off on the gas and straightened the truck out. She rolled her window down, the cold night air somehow soothing her anger. The tears came as her anger lessened. Michelle slammed her fist on the top of the steering wheel.
“Damn him, damn him all to hell!”
The lights of Longview disappeared from her rear view mirror before Michelle got control of her tears. She pulled over to the side of the road and laid her forehead on the steering wheel. A wintry breeze blew through the open window numbing the tip of her nose. With her tears dried and her anger fled, a heavy, empty feeling engulfed her. The reality of Rob and Kayla’s marriage penetrated her heart. Her childhood dreams were over. The plans of merging the neighbouring ranches, following the rodeo circuit, having babies…gone, all of it gone.
“It’s really over.” Her voice came out dull and lifeless even to her own ears.
“What am I supposed to do now?” Michelle was adrift; her plans for the future all revolved around Rob and what he wanted. She always thought w
hat Rob wanted was what she wanted, too. Now that she stopped to think about it, she wasn’t so sure after all.
After wiping her nose one last time, Michelle put the truck in gear and drove at a more sedate pace back to the ranch.
* * *
The warmth of the kitchen was heavenly. Michelle dropped her coat on the back of a chair and sank down beside Storm and her puppies. The black dog licked her hand and laid her muzzle on Michelle’s knee, her deep brown eyes gazing adoringly up at her. Michelle stroked Storm’s head for a moment before she reached over and placed one of the sleeping puppies in her lap. The little creature snuggled into a comfortable position and promptly went back to dreaming, her little paws twitching while her mouth made small suckling movements. Lucky little puppy, you have no idea how different your life could have been. She stroked Storm’s head again and ran a hand over the dog’s side to check how her ribs were filling in. “You know though, don’t you, Momma?” Michelle said softly to the dog who thumped her tail in agreement.
The clock in the hall chimed midnight. Christmas Eve was over. Christmas Day just begun.
“Merry Christmas.”
Tears blurred Michelle’s sight as she whispered the words out loud. Was this the harbinger of Christmases to come? Last year, they announced their engagement. This year Rob was married to his dressage queen, and she was alone. Michelle placed the puppy back with Storm and got to her feet. The blinking light on the answering machine informed her that a message was waiting. George’s voice was loud and tinny in the quiet kitchen. Her brother wished her a Merry Christmas and promised to call on Christmas Day when his shift was over. She smiled thinking about telling him his mare foaled out and all was well. She supposed she should tell him about Storm and the new puppies, too. His hitch was up the day before New Year’s Eve, so at least George would be around for New Year’s Eve. Michelle jumped as the phone shrilled in the quiet kitchen.
