Sister Helene worried about many things. She seemed to think everyone’s happiness was up to her. Since she had been taught the only good life lay along the Shaker road and she had been assigned three sisters wary of the Shaker way, her forehead was often creased with worry lines.
I finished a seam and examined my even stitches. They would surely pass Eldress Maria’s inspection for work as near to perfection as I could do. With so much practice with my needle, perhaps I could make my way as a seamstress when I left the village.
When. Not if. While I repositioned the fabric of the dress to do another seam, I looked over at my beloved daughter. She had fallen asleep with her fingers in her mouth. She looked so peaceful with happiness easy for her right now.
We were safe here. We had no reason to leave for an unknown future yet, but when the time came, we would leave. Even if I had no plan of what next. I would trust the Lord to guide us. Hadn’t I just told Mona that the Lord loved everybody? Even her. Even me and especially these babies.
He would show me a way when the time came. Until then I would wait. And pray.
31
“You’re out of your mind if you think I’m going to move into that three-room shack down the road.” Irene glared at Silas. “This place is bad enough.”
They had waited until the day before the move to confront Irene. Flynn figured she knew they were up to something, but not what. Certainly she hadn’t expected this. She would expect what Silas told her next even less.
Flynn had already moved all but one of Silas’s cows over to the new pasture. He wasn’t sorry to see them go. He did keep a milk cow. A growing girl needed milk and butter. She’d need more than that, but somehow Flynn would figure out the cooking.
Now Irene looked ready to throw things, but they were prepared for that. All the butcher knives and iron skillets were hidden away.
Silas smiled at Irene. He’d been a different man the last few weeks. He had it all figured out and nothing anybody said or did was going to change that. “Well, Mrs. Cox, if you don’t want to live there, I can offer you a room in a three-story brick house with fine windows and doors.”
She narrowed her eyes as she stared at Silas. “Where would an old farmer like you come up with a house like that?”
Flynn backed up closer to the door. Even if no major weapons were at hand, Irene could still find plenty of things to throw. Silas didn’t seem a bit worried.
“It’s like this, Irene. If you aren’t willing to move over to the Harley place and live a married life with me, then I’m thinking on going to the Shakers.”
That knocked the wind out of Irene. “The Shakers?” She sank down in a chair beside the kitchen table.
“The Shakers. I’ve been over there visiting Leatrice, and I kind of like the place.” He gave her a direct look. “Seeing as how you seem fond of the celibate lifestyle and are anxious for a bigger house, Harmony Hill fits the bill.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Serious as a heart attack.”
She looked up at him. “I don’t suppose you’d want to have one of those right now to make me a widow.”
“Again?” Flynn spoke up.
She flashed him a look. “Third time might be a charm.”
“Sorry, but the old ticker seems to be humming along pretty good.” Silas appeared to be enjoying the whole thing. “Must have been all those tonics you made me.”
“Must have been.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe this. The Shakers!” Then she surprised both of them, perhaps even herself, by laughing. “I think you’ve outmaneuvered me, old man. Are you really going to join the Shakers?”
“Look, Irene, we might as well be frank with one another.” Silas’s smile faded away as he sat down at the table across from her. “Neither one of us got what we were expecting out of this marriage. Well, I can’t fault your cooking and you kept the house fine, but you weren’t ever a wife and I wasn’t ever a husband to you.”
She looked at him without saying anything.
“I am an old man just the way you say, and I don’t want to live my last years with a woman who knows she made a mistake marrying me. If you tell me that’s not true and you want to give our marriage a try like I promised when we stood in front of the preacher, then I’ll stand by my word.”
“I don’t know that marrying you was a mistake, Silas, but it didn’t work out the way I thought it might,” she said.
“I didn’t die.”
“Since, as you say, we’re being frank, that’s right. My good cooking got you to feeling better.” She did smile a little then. “And the exercise you got going out to the woodpile to dump my tonics.”
“The stuff did taste horrible.” Silas blew out a breath. “But let’s forget all that. Start from here, this spot, this minute.”
“I’m not moving to that other house with you, and I’m not going to the Shakers.”
“That’s plain enough. But the Shakers, that’s our answer. I’ll join up with them and give them the Harley place. First I’ll take you into town and give you the money I’ve got in the bank. Not a lot but enough to keep you in buttons and bows for a while. I figure it won’t take you long to find a better match.”
“I’ll still be married to you.”
“That’s the good part for you about me going to the Shakers. There’s a law that somebody who’s married to one of those crazies joining the Shakers can get a divorce with no problem. You’ll be free.”
“But you’ll be a Shaker.”
“That’s the good part for me. I hear they eat fine.”
“Old men, always ruled by their stomachs.” She shook her head again. “But, Silas, I never took you for much of a dancer.”
“Could be I just need the right music.” Silas smiled. “Those Shaker tunes might be the very thing.”
“So you have it all figured out.” She looked over at Flynn. “Or is this all your plan, Flynn, to get rid of me?”
Flynn raised his hands up, palms out toward her. “I wouldn’t interfere with the relations between a man and his wife.”
“He didn’t have nothing to do with it.” Silas kept his gaze straight on Irene. “So are you willing to go along with it and let us take this easy way out of the mess we’re in?”
After a long minute, she nodded. “But you better be generous with the money.”
“As generous as I can be.” Silas slapped the table with both hands. “Then it’s done. Tomorrow Flynn brings Leatrice out and I go in.” He got up and did a shuffle step. “I haven’t felt this good in months.”
“You’re one crazy old coot.” Irene stood up. “Guess I’d better go pack.” She stopped at the door to look back at them. “But don’t expect me to cook you any supper tonight.”
Leatrice tried to keep count of the days since Papa told her he’d take her home in two weeks, but she kept getting mixed up.
“Do you remember which day Papa was here?” she asked Sister Darcie after she lost count.
“I do. It was on Wednesday. I’m surprised he hasn’t come back to see you again. That’s been almost a week. Today is Monday.”
“A week is seven days, isn’t it?”
“Yea. Why?”
“Papa is coming to take me home in . . .” Leatrice stopped to think. “Nine days. I’m trying to keep count, but I keep getting mixed up.”
Sister Darcie smiled. “That’s wonderful. So if you only have nine days to wait, you can count on your fingers.” She held up her hands with one of her thumbs turned against her palm. “Each day you can turn another finger down until you run out of fingers. But you have to remember that sometimes people take longer than they think to get things done.”
“Not Papa. If he said he’ll come, he’ll come.”
So each day she and Sister Darcie had put a finger down until this morning they turned the last finger down. She watched for Papa when they walked to the morning meal, but he didn’t come then.
Sister Darcie hugged her before they wen
t up the steps into the Children’s House. “Maybe we got our fingers mixed up.”
“I don’t think so,” Leatrice said. “But the day is not through. Papa will come.”
“Yea, he will.”
When the noon bell rang summoning everybody to the midday meal, Papa hadn’t come. Sister Mona said he wouldn’t. She walked with Leatrice to help Sister Darcie. She came with her now at least once every day, even though she never asked Sister Tansy if she could.
Sister Mona had not gotten into trouble for days. Not since she’d shoved Sister Darcie down. Even then she hadn’t gotten in trouble, because Sister Darcie didn’t tell on her. Instead she made a point of finding Sister Mona the next day and talking to her. She even let Sister Mona hold Anna Grace. That surprised Leatrice. She would have never let Sister Mona close to Anna Grace again. Even if she was acting better.
Sister Tansy bragged on Sister Mona and said she was finally settling in and being a proper Shaker sister. Sister Mona smiled sweetly until Sister Tansy turned around. Then she stuck her tongue out at her. But Leatrice hadn’t said anything. If Sister Darcie wasn’t going to tell on her, neither would Leatrice.
Sister Darcie always acted happy to see Sister Mona. She didn’t hug her the way she did Leatrice, but she would have if Sister Mona had let her. Leatrice wondered if Sister Mona ever let anybody hug her. She didn’t like feeling sorry for Sister Mona, but she did. She even prayed a new prayer for her that she would let Sister Darcie hug her someday. That had to be nicer than praying Sister Mona would go away. Hugs made a person feel better. She couldn’t wait to hug her father when he got there to take her home.
“He won’t come,” Sister Mona repeated a little louder after Leatrice acted as though she didn’t hear her the first time.
“He will.” Leatrice wished Sister Darcie was still with them so she could make Sister Mona hush. But she had already gone back into her house.
The sun was beating down on them and Sister Tansy said they had to go pick beans. Papa wouldn’t know to look for her in the garden.
“Nay, he won’t.” Sister Mona ran a little circle around Leatrice. “He probably found another little girl to take home with him.”
Leatrice put her fists on her hips and glared at Sister Mona. “Why are you so mean?”
“Because everybody thinks I’m mean, so if they think I’m mean, I might as well be mean so they won’t be disappointed.”
“Sister Darcie doesn’t think you’re mean. She likes you.”
Sister Mona stopped circling Leatrice and started walking again. “Sister Darcie is different. She thinks I’m different. Different good.”
“Are you? Different good.”
“I can be. Sometimes.”
“Well, be that way with me. I’m tired of different mean.”
Sister Mona laughed. “Sometimes I like you, Sister Leatrice. Sometimes.”
They went straight to the garden patch behind the Children’s House. The patch was big and the rows long. Leatrice had already helped pick cucumbers and peppers on other days. But today they had to fill many baskets with beans. It did no good to fuss or ask Sister Tansy to let her go wait on the Children’s House steps for Papa.
She looked up toward the sun sliding toward the west. Where was he? He never came this late to see her. She wiggled her fingers. Maybe they had turned down one of their fingers too soon, the way Sister Darcie said.
Leatrice tried not to think about the time passing toward sundown as she pulled off the beans carefully to keep from breaking the vines. Sister Tansy had been very firm about not breaking the vines. But what Leatrice wanted to do was crawl up under the vines and hide until Papa came. He would come. He would.
Then Sister Mona came up behind her. Leatrice grabbed a handful of beans in her basket. She would throw them at Sister Mona if she said anything about Papa not coming. She didn’t care if she did get in trouble.
Sister Mona tapped her on the shoulder. “You were right. Your father is here.”
“You’re just trying to get me in trouble with Sister Tansy.” Leatrice tightened her fingers around the beans.
“You were so sure he would come.” Sister Mona gave her an exasperated look. “And now you don’t believe me when I tell you he’s here. I was just trying to be different good the way you wanted.”
Leatrice looked around. She couldn’t see anything but bean vines growing up on the poles. “Where? I don’t see him.”
“That’s because you’re so short. I can see over the beans.” She pointed. “Trust me. He’s right over there.”
She wasn’t sure she should trust her, but she dropped the beans out of her hand and carried her basket to the end of the row the way she was supposed to if it was full. It wasn’t full, but that wouldn’t matter if Papa was there.
And he was. Just the way Sister Mona said. Leatrice dropped her basket and ran out of the garden. She didn’t pay any attention when Sister Tansy called to her. She was going home.
Sister Mona came out of the garden behind her. “See, I told you.”
Papa hugged her. “Sister Corinne says she will have your things ready so you can leave.” He looked over at Sister Mona. “Hello, Mona. Are you having a good day?”
She did a little spin. “Nay. I don’t like picking beans. And it’s hot and they won’t let us take off these things.” She flipped up the corner of her neck kerchief. “I think I might melt.”
“What would you rather be doing?” Papa asked.
“Wading in a creek.” Sister Mona looked off toward the road. “Going home.” She blew out a breath and did another spin. “But I don’t have a home. Except here. Where I have to pick beans and not go wading in the creek.”
Sister Janice came out of the garden. “So you are really leaving, Sister Leatrice. I will miss you.”
Leatrice gave her a hug as tears pricked her eyes. She did want to go home, but she was going to miss some of her sisters here.
When Sister Janice went back into the garden, Papa asked, “Is there anybody else you want to tell goodbye?”
“Only Sister Darcie, but she’s not here.”
“We can run find her,” Sister Mona said. “I’ll go with you.”
“You’ll get in trouble with Sister Tansy.” Leatrice frowned.
But Sister Mona was grinning. “Nay. You run first and I’ll pretend to be chasing you to bring you back and get you to stay here picking beans.”
Papa laughed. “Go. I’ll wait for you at the Children’s House.”
So she took off with Sister Mona running after her. At the Gathering Family House, they stopped to catch their breath.
“I like to run,” Sister Mona said. “Makes me forget.”
“Forget what?”
“Everything I don’t want to remember.” Sister Mona looked up at the open windows in the house. “Maybe if we yell for her she’ll come to the window and see us.”
They yelled, but she didn’t come.
“She must be working in one of the gardens like we are,” Sister Mona said.
“Yea, she does sometimes. She takes the babies and lays them on a quilt in the shade.” Leatrice was disappointed. But Sister Darcie knew Papa was coming today. She would understand. “Will you tell her goodbye for me when you go help her later? You will go help her, won’t you?”
“I suppose I can,” Sister Mona said.
“And give her this hug for me.” She put her arms around Sister Mona and pulled her close in a hug. At first Sister Mona stayed stiff as a tree, but then her arms went around Leatrice to hug her back.
Leatrice ran back through the village to where her father was waiting. He lifted her up in front of him on his horse.
“Are we going to the new house?”
“No, your grandpa traded houses with us. He wanted you to live in the home you know.”
“So he won’t be there.”
“Tonight he will be. He wants to see you, but then tomorrow he’s coming to live here at Harmony Hill.”
L
eatrice twisted around to look up at her father. “Grandpa’s going to be a Shaker?”
“He decided he liked it here when he came to visit you.”
“What about that woman?”
“You don’t have to worry about her. She decided she didn’t want to come with Grandpa to be a Shaker. So she’s gone back to town.”
“But I thought you said marriage was forever.”
“It is supposed to be, but sometimes what’s supposed to be doesn’t happen.”
Leatrice leaned back against Papa’s chest again. This was what was supposed to happen for her. Going home. But at the same time she felt a little funny inside thinking about not helping Sister Darcie with the babies. Nobody would be there to sing silly songs to Baby Benjamin. Sister Mona wouldn’t do that. She probably wouldn’t even give Sister Darcie the hug, but Leatrice hoped she would.
32
As the week passed, I missed Leatrice more each day. I had not realized how much I looked forward to our time together. Her laughter with Anna Grace and her silly songs for Benjamin had been a bright spot in my day.
Anna Grace missed her too, looking around each time I fastened her into the seat on her little wagon. She smiled at Mona but without quite the same joyfulness she had done with Leatrice. Mona’s smiles were not as ready on her face, and my sweet baby did respond to smiles.
Mona told me Leatrice had gone. Of course, I had been expecting it as I counted down the days with her, but being glad for her, the same as I was for Ellie when she left, did not keep away the sadness of missing them.
I was surprised to see a similar sorrow in Mona’s eyes that first evening when she came alone to help me. I was completely shocked when, all at once, she clumsily wrapped her arms around me and squeezed.
Just as quickly she stepped away. “That’s from Sister Leatrice. She hugged me and wanted me to pass it on to you. We came here to find you before she left, but you didn’t come out when we called.”
“I’m sorry. I was picking beans in one of the gardens. Eldress Maria sat in the shade and watched the babies.”
The Refuge Page 26
