Chapter Twelve
Remy
I’m feeling a mixture of emotions as I watch Mel walk out of the restaurant, and after ordering a glass of whiskey from the waitress I settle down to brood. Who does she think she is telling me not to fall in love with her? Why is she so sure she won’t be the one to fall? It’s not like I’m a douchebag, an asshole who doesn’t deserve to have a woman love him.
Melody refuses to see what’s right in front of her, forcing me to come up with a crazy way to get her attention. I do want a baby, but while she thinks I am just using her to give me one because of the money, she’s wrong. She wants to be stubborn about giving me, us, a chance, well I’ll make it so she has no choice but to do so.
I take a sip of the whiskey and send a text to Grant, Reed’s best friend and the lawyer we use for all our family affairs. When I decided to go with this crazy plan, I asked him to meet me here so he could look over the contract. It’s not like he was able to do it before I threw it together, which could end up being a pain in the ass since I already forced Mel’s hand when it came to signing the documents.
Lifting my gaze from the freshly signed documents, I’m just in time to see Grant entering the restaurant, his expensive suit still looking freshly pressed. He drops heavily into the seat across from me, eyes steady on mine. “What’s going on, Rem? You made it sound like this was urgent.” There’s a sour look on his face, and I can’t blame him for being irritated at me calling him down here like he’s one of our company lackeys instead of a family friend. I most likely pulled him from something important at his parent’s firm too, but I don't care. We pay him well for his time.
“Take a seat and order yourself a drink. I need you to look over this contract for me.” I shove the folder and its contents across the table far harder than necessary, and they come to a stop just before the edge. Grant narrows his eyes at the papers before him as I raise a hand to beckon the waitress.
He orders a scotch on the rocks and dives into reading the documents. Seconds tick by and nervous anxiety starts to fill my belly. It’s quite possible this contract isn’t even legal. I wasn’t exactly worried about technicalities like legality when I came up with this bargain. Mel didn’t either, she just signed what I told her to so she could get away from me as quickly as possible. “You do know how stupid this is right?”
My fists clench at his words. I know this whole thing is unconventional. “Trust me, I’m well aware it sounds like a crazy idea.”
He’s not able to say anything to that because the waitress chooses this moment to drop his drink off. Before he can gather what he wants to say, I interject, “I’m not asking for your opinion on my life choices. I just need you to look over the fucking contract.”
I feel like I’m teetering right on the edge of my sanity. When it comes to Mel, I want to be the man she needs, the man that she wants, who she allows to love her. This whole baby idea is probably going to do nothing more but push her away, but I have to at least try.
“Well as a friend of the family, I can tell you that if your brothers knew about this contract, they’d have it shredded in seconds. Of all people you have to choose from, Melody is the one you pick to give you a baby?” His distaste for her is obvious, though I don’t know why he feels that way about her. As far as I know, she’s never done anything to him. I hope she hasn’t. If I find out the two of them have been… together… I don’t think I’ll be able to keep from beating the absolute shit out of him.
Refusing to look away from his judgmental eyes, I make my position clear. This stays between us. I don’t need him running to tattle. “This isn’t any of my brother’s business. They have their own lives. I want a piece of that pie and I’ve found the woman I want to have my child. I only asked you to come look at the contract I compiled to make sure I crossed every T and dotted every I.”
Grant shakes his head, tapping the edge of the pen in his hand against the table a couple of times as his eyes move over the documents once more. I did this so that Mel and I would be bound together, so that I could give us more time together. I just hope like hell it doesn’t backfire on me.
“This wouldn’t hold up in court, but as long as Melody doesn’t know that you should be fine. The biggest issue right now is the fact that you haven’t signed it yet, so technically it’s not a legally binding contract anyway.”
Nodding my head in understanding, I tell him, “I know, but don’t worry about that. All I needed to know was that my bases were covered.” Tipping back my head, I drink the remaining whiskey in my glass, ignoring the burn as it slips down my throat. I reach for the documents, ready to slip them away and get the hell out of here, but Grant stops me, yanking the papers out of grasp, more serious than I’ve ever seen him.
“I want you to think about this for more than a second. Just because your brothers are each living their own happily ever afters doesn’t mean you need to jump the gun and knock up some random woman. Don’t you want to be married, and happy when you have your first child?”
It feels like he’s trying to convince me that this is nothing more than a bad idea and I can’t let him tell me that. Not when I know Mel is the woman for me, the woman I want to have my babies and someday marry if she’ll let me.
“I do want to be married and happy when I have my first child, but not everyone lives such an easy life. I want a child now, and I don’t want to wait for the perfect person.” This is a lie. The entire damn reason I’m doing this has everything to do with Mel who is in fact my perfect person.
Worry forms wrinkles on Grant’s forehead, “Isn’t there anyone else you’d rather do this with?”
My mouth drops open, and I’m almost too shocked to speak. “What do you mean anyone else? What’s wrong with Melody?”
“Come on, Remy. I know you’re impulsive and you frequently don’t think through your ideas, but you have to know this is insane. Melody Jackson isn’t the kind of woman you want to be tied to forever.”
The anger I’ve been trying to keep at bay is unleashed. “Please tell me you didn’t just say that.” My voice is practically a growl, low and dangerous. It should tell Grant to back the hell off, but he ignores the warning.
Face turning red, he tries to explain himself, but I’m way past the point where I can listen rationally. “I’m only asking because her track record isn’t that great. Everyone knows her parents are divorced and her sister is dying. I just don’t want you getting involved with something and thinking it’s love, or that she can give you something someone else, someone better suited can’t.”
My jaw clenches, aching as it tightens. I’m so tired of everyone trying to dictate my life. Slamming my clenched fist down on the table, I watch as one of the glasses, too close to the edge, falls off and shatters on the floor. Normally, I’d be the brother trying to keep everyone calm, but not this time.
The stares from other patrons sitting at nearby tables feels like it’s going to burn me alive, but they don’t stop me from reacting further to Grant’s words.
“I’m not looking for advice, and if I were, I sure as fuck wouldn’t come to you. Melody is everything I want in a woman and just because you don’t see her worth doesn’t mean I don’t. Now, I think we are done here.” Another thought occurs to me, and I stand, making sure I tower over Grant when I say, “Don’t even think about telling my brothers about these documents either. If you do there will be consequences.”
Grant blinks, like he’s waking up from a deep sleep, and in his haste to get out of the chair, he stumbles. His face is full of shock when he faces me, but I don’t care. I’ve said my piece, now it’s up to him what happens next with us.
I’m so damn tired of everyone thinking they can tell me what to do. Tired of being compared to my brothers and being the only one who has yet to find his happiness.
Well, I’ve found my forever. Now all I have to do is prove to her how much she means to me, and that we can, in fact, make this work.
Chapter Thirteen
Mel
I feel the onset of a panic attack as I walk out of the hotel. Trying to suck air into my lungs is hard because each breath feels like I’m sucking it in through a straw. Sweat forms against my brow, and I slump against the exterior wall of the building.
Why did I do this? I think to myself while trying to calm my breathing, as well as my reeling mind. Who am I kidding? I know why I did this. For my sister, who deserves to live a happy, healthy life, and for my mother who I know will not make it through losing another person that she loves. But I also did it for me. It gives me a way to keep Remy, and in signing that agreement I’ve agreed to putting my heart in the line of fire, and I know what’s going to happen.
I’m going to fall for Remy Winston. Hell, I’m already more than halfway there. The man leaves my body clamoring for his touch every single time I see him. A wake of fire spreads across my body every time we touch. He literally sets my soul on fire and I’m terrified that I’ll get burnt if I give into the flame that he sparks. I’m terrified of everything the man represents because just like my father hurt me, if I give Remy all the power, he too will destroy me.
Hanging my head, I feel completely defeated. Having a baby is the last thing I want. I’ve watched my mom struggle to care for my sister and give me the attention I deserve for years… I’ve seen my sister come close to dying once, I can’t imagine going through that as a parent.
Yet that’s exactly what I signed up for.
I swallow down all my fears, holding my head high and straightening my back. The only thing I can do is press forward, so blinking away my tears I remind myself I’m stronger than this. I didn’t cry over my father leaving, I won’t cry over another man for any reason.
Exhaling a huge sigh, I decide that as much as I want to go back to the hospital and see my sister, the nurses won’t find it amusing if I show up this close to the end of visiting hours. I might not even make it before they end. Instead, I use the app on my phone to call a ride and head home instead. What I need tonight is a bottle of wine and a binge watch of my favorite show. Rory and Lorelei always make me feel better.
The first thing I do when I’m back in my apartment is pop the cork on a bottle of red wine and grab a chocolate bar from my period stash hidden in the cabinet. Then, I all but run to my bedroom and change into a pair of fuzzy pajama pants and a cami, grabbing a soft throw and cuddling up in my bed.
The urge to cry almost overwhelms me. “It’s okay to cry,” I mutter to myself as the tears slip down my cheeks. I don’t know why I’m crying, not really. Maybe it's the stress of everything, or maybe it’s knowing I’ve painted myself into a corner and have no idea how to get out of it. My heart is racing, yet I remain silent on the outside, chaos running rampant on the inside and eating away at whatever sanity I have left.
I bring the bottle of wine to my lips, tipping my head back and keeping my eyes closed as I swallow down gulp after gulp. Once I’ve had enough to make me feel like more will make me sick, I set it on the nightstand. Pulling my legs up to my chest, I wrap one arm around them, sitting like this for a long time as I wallow in self-pity.
I can do this. I chant to myself.
Chanting the words until I think I almost convince myself they’re true, I’m almost surprised when the tears start falling again. I take another sip of wine, hoping my emotions will flatline eventually. This is what I do all night, barely paying attention to the show on my TV, until eventually my emotions do flatline. I fall into a restless sleep where all I can do is dream about Remy and I being together without the consequences of us actually doing so.
* * *
When I awake the next morning, my hair is stuck my face and my skin feels like it’s been rubbed against sandpaper. My phone is blowing up with text messages and missed calls, and I barely have one eye open.
“What the fuck was I thinking last night.” I barely get the words out thanks to my pounding head. Every little sound and breath I take makes the ache worse.
Grabbing my phone, I scroll through all the text messages. There are a couple from my mom, one from Remy, and ten from my sister asking me when I’m going to come visit her next. I scrub a hand down my face and sigh, falling back against the pillows. Turning my head, I glare when I see the culprit for the worst headache in the history of headaches.
Wine. I narrow my eyes at the bottle and vow to make today a better day. It has to be, otherwise I just plainly quit.
Like my mom has always told me, don’t look behind you, you aren’t going that way. As badly as I want to mope around in bed all day, I know I owe it to my sister to at the very least show up at the hospital and spend more time with her. She might be doing better, but she’s confined to a small ass room for who knows how long. Most of the kids from school can’t be bothered to visit, and I know she gets tired of just seeing my mom all the time.
I send her a quick text back letting her know I’ll be on my way soon. Then I hurry through my shower, pulling my hair up into a messy bun and hoping for the best.
In less than an hour I find myself standing at the entrance to my sister’s hospital room once more. Thinking back to the first time they brought us here, all I can remember is how much pain and sorrow we all felt knowing this might be the last room she ever got to sleep in. Things were so much different then. Both of my parents were here, they supported each other and the two of us. Now, dad is busy doing his own thing with his new family, mom is bitter, refusing to own up to her mistakes, and Remy is the one giving Maddie the chance to beat the monster eating up her insides.
That fact is what has me blinking fast, afraid that if I don’t, I’ll burst into tears. It isn’t until I focus on the door and voices coming from inside that I realize the one man to ruin me for all others is inside that room, talking to my sister. It’s almost like I conjured him into being by thinking about the way he abandoned us all. Fiery anger burns inside me, and I push the door open, revealing my presence.
My father’s eyes widen when he sees me and I watch as he stiffens, waiting for the rage he knows is about to come his way. Maddie, however, has a smile that radiates happiness and a twinkle in her eyes. Seeing her so happy almost makes me rethink making him leave.
“Melody, it’s quite a surprise to see you here.” His cheeks heat as if he’s embarrassed, but I don’t really care if he is. It’s me that should be embarrassed, embarrassed that he’s my father and that he has the audacity to show his face here after running in out of our lives for the last couple of years.
It takes all my willpower to keep my hands from curling into fists when I see he’s also brought her books and numerous magazines. Not only that, but Maddie’s favorite flowers, pink roses, a gigantic bouquet of them, are arranged in a vase near the window.
Fuck him. How dare he think he can buy Maddie’s love and affection with a few items that barely cost him anything? The asshole has a lot of nerve showing up here now when he’s missed the most important moments of Maddie’s journey.
“Melly, I’m so glad you’re here!” Maddie exclaims, but I can’t drag my eyes away from the sorry excuse for a man before me that considers himself to be our father.
“Why are you here?” I hiss, directing all my hate in his direction.
Straightening his tie, he stands a little taller, trying to intimidate me I’m sure. He’s a burly man, and rather handsome, but at the end of the day he’s the same man that left my mother, myself and my sick sister without even a backwards glance. “Is that any way to speak to your father?” He smiles, but it’s tight, proving just how irritated he is with my words.
“You’re not a father,” I scoff. “A father is a man that cares about his children. It’s been months since we saw you last. You can’t just walk in and out of our lives when it suits you.” The venom in my words stings I’m sure, but I’m long past caring. After everything I’ve sacrificed, I’m not going to let him come in here like he’s the reason everything has worked out for us. He’s done nothing to help with the medica
l bills, or even tried to ease Maddie’s pain.
A coldness forms in eyes that look so much like mine, reminding me just how much I resemble him, sickening me further. “I’m a busy man, Mel. You know this, even if you like pretending you’re the only one who cares about Maddie.”
His words make my blood boil and I see red. “Get out! If you’re smart, you won’t dare show up here again when I’m here.”
My eyes meet Maddie’s and I see the plea in her eyes to not fight with him any longer, but when I turn back to him, I can see his jaw is tense. I wait for him to say something else, but he doesn’t. When he merely walks out of the room I’m shocked into silence.
Did he just listen to me for the very first time in my life?
“Are you okay?” Maddie’s always worried more about everyone else than herself, so I’m not surprised to hear her voice tremble as she checks on me.
I shake my head, feeling like I’m just waking up from a bad dream. “I’m not okay, but I will be eventually. Are you?” I ask, crossing the room to take my usual spot right beside her bed.
Maddie looks happy, healthier too, and that makes all of this worth it for me. I can go through with giving Remy what he wants, as long as it’s not my heart, if the money he’s giving me can keep my baby sister alive.
“What’s going on? You look like you haven’t slept since you were here last.” She of course asks but knows I won’t answer. I never tell her about my worries or fears. It’s the last thing she needs to hear when she’s struggling just to stay alive.
The look I give her says I know what she’s trying to do. She’s always trying to get me to confide in her. “Nothing. I’m good.”
Maddie rolls her eyes, a very teenage thing of her to do considering she’s been in and out of the hospital more than around other kids her age. Sitting here with her, the tension of my father’s appearance seems to ease out of me and I find myself smiling when Maddie starts a conversation about how I need to find a man and then I’ll have an excuse for not sleeping at night. “I don’t need any more excuses for that. I already have plenty of reasons.”
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