GOLD FEVER
Over the following few months, Jernegan built several more accumulators and, along with his longtime friend and assistant, Charles E. Fisher, founded the Electrolytic Marine Salts Company, based in Boston, Massachusetts. In the fall of 1897, they signed an agreement with Ryan and several prominent Boston investors to take the company public, with Jernegan and Fisher getting 40 percent of the proceeds from the stock sale. Share price: $1. More than 350,000 shares sold in three days. An elaborate factory was built in the remote town of North Lubec, Maine, and within weeks the accumulators were taking $150 worth of gold from the sea every day. Newspapers all over the country wrote about the success of the company, and in the months that followed, the number of shares sold climbed to more than a million. Jernegan, Fisher, Ryan and the others were all becoming very rich men. And it looked like they were just getting started.
But then, in July 1898, Fisher disappeared. And, strangely, the gold accumulators stopped working.
YOUR GOLD SMELLS FISHY
What was wrong with the accumulators? Fisher wasn’t there to seed them anymore. He was a trained deep sea diver, and right from the start he’d been diving down to the accumulators at night and seeding them with gold that he and Jernegan had purchased earlier. When investors went to Jernegan to find out what was wrong, he told them he’d get to the bottom of it…and fled to France with his family. He was found there but disappeared again before he could be arrested. (He eventually ended up in the Philippines, where he became a teacher.) Fisher was never seen again, though some reports say he went to Australia. The scam made the men in the neighborhood of $200,000 each…millions in today’s money. It remains one of the most successful financial hoaxes in U.S. history.
CREATIVE SENTENCING
Prisons are overcrowded. Diversion or “anti-recidivism” programs
don’t always work, so some judges are getting a little more
inventive with the sentences they hand down.
TURNING THE PAGE
In 2002 in Warren County, Ohio, Judge Mark Wiest introduced a unique program to discourage repeat offenses by low-level criminals: a book club. People convicted of misdemeanors and minor felonies (for which the sentence is 100 hours of community service) have to read six books in 12 weeks and attend discussion sessions. If they do, Wiest knocks 60 hours off the sentence. “Usually we’re telling them when they’re on probation, ‘Don’t do this, don’t do that.’ This just gives them something more positive.” The reading list includes Stephen King’s The Green Mile and John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men.
NOT SO CROSS
Houston man James Lee Cross was convicted on a domestic abuse charge in 2004 for slapping his wife. Judge Larry Standley sentenced Cross to a year of probation, anger management training…and a yoga class once a week for a year. Standley said that anger leads to a lack of control, which leads to violence, and that the yoga could give Cross that control. “For people who are into it,” Standley said, “it really calms them down.”
PUTTING THE “PAIN” IN PAINESVILLE
In 2007 in Painesville, Ohio, Judge Michael Cicconetti introduced a new punishment for men convicted of soliciting prostitutes. Rather than go to jail, offenders spend three hours walking up and down a busy street…in a chicken suit. They also have to hold a sign that reads, “No Chicken Ranch in Our City / No Gallinero En Nuestro Ciudad.” The Chicken Ranch is a famous Nevada brothel; the sign is bilingual because many people in the area speak only Spanish and Cicconetti doesn’t think anyone should miss out on the convict’s humiliation. Cicconetti frequently issues bizarre punishments:
• He ordered teens who painted graffiti on the baby Jesus statue in a church nativity scene to dress up as Mary and Joseph and walk around town with a donkey, carrying a sign that read, “Sorry for the Jackass Offense.”
• He sentenced two teenagers who shot paintball pellets at a neighbor’s house to shoot paintball pellets at their own cars and then clean them up.
• He forced a man who called a policeman a “pig” to stand next to a live pig with a sign that read, “This Is Not a Police Officer.”
HURRICAN’T
Like thousands of others, Kim Horn fled New Orleans when Hurricane Katrina tore through the city in 2005. She moved to Mason, Michigan, where, after telling her landlord her situation, she got free rent. Only problem: Horn wasn’t a refugee. She wasn’t even from New Orleans. In June 2006, after Horn was convicted on fraud charges, Judge Beverly Nettles-Nickerson sentenced her to six months of cleaning the house she’d lived in rent-free.
BACKSEAT HURLER
A 17-year-old boy in Olathe, Kansas, told his friends that he was planning to play a major prank on David Young, the teacher of the Spanish class he was failing. On the last day of school in June 2005, he walked up to Young…and vomited on him. Johnson County Judge Michael Farley found the teen (he’s a minor, so his name was withheld from the media) guilty of battery and sentenced him to four months of cleaning up the vomit of people who throw up in police cars.
HOW MANILOW CAN YOU GO?
If you’re driving through Fort Lupton, Colorado, keep the hard rock, rap, or other abrasive music turned down. Otherwise, Judge Paul Sacco may convict you of violating the town’s noise ordinance. The punishment: an hour of easy listening. Sacco has been doling out the sentence for more than 15 years. His favorite “punishments”: Barry Manilow, Carpenters, and Dolly Parton’s “I Will Always Love You.”
PEOPLE STUFF FOR DOGS
Anthropologists theorize that early humans and wild dogs became such close
companions because of the canine’s ability to mimic people’s emotions.
Humans encouraged it. Judging by these actual products, we still do.
PAWLISH ($11.95). Give your dog a “pet-icure” with this line of nontoxic, quick-drying nail polish for dogs. Choose from Poodle Pink, Bow Wow Green, Mutt’s New Purple, Fire Hydrant Red, Yuppy Puppy Silver, and Doghouse Blues. (Ironically, “Pawlish is tested on people, not animals.”)
SONGS TO MAKE DOGS HAPPY ($15.98). This CD is the brainchild of two Los Angeles-based musicians, Skip Haynes and Dana Walden. With the help of an “animal communicator” named Dr. Kim Ogden, they test-marketed different sets of lyrics and musical styles at L.A.-area animal shelters. All of the tracks are upbeat, and none include the word “no” or any sudden noises.
PENTHOUSE DOG POTTY ($319). It’s a big, fancy litter box, but instead of litter, it’s covered with artificial grass. Underneath is a drainage system (basically a bucket) to dispose of #1. For the other “duty,” you do the same thing you’d do outside—scoop it up.
DIAMOND BONE PENDANT ($2,900). From Bark Avenue Jewelers, this pricey bling is supposed to be worn on your dog’s collar. It features 30 diamonds set in 14-karat gold. (Also available in platinum.)
SLAVE LEIA DOG COSTUME ($14.99). StarWarsShop.com offers the Princess Leia Slave Girl Dog Costume so you and your pooch can recreate Jabba the Hutt’s palace scene from Return of the Jedi. Or, if you’d prefer that your dog teach you how to use the Force, you can get him the official Yoda Dog Costume.
NEUTICLES. These are silicon implants designed to replace neutered dogs’ missing “bits.” According to Gregg Miller, who invented Neuticles in 1993, they’re not just for vanity, but they control pet overpopulation “by encouraging thousands of caring pet owners to neuter that simply would not have before.” Cost: $170 per set (neutering and implantation not included).
WHEN HARRY MET BESSIE
And other stories of presidential romance.
When Georgie Met Martha: In 1758 Martha Dandridge Custis was 27 and recently widowed, and a very wealthy woman. That year George Washington, also 27 and already a colonel in the Virginia militia—and not at all wealthy—met Martha via the Virginia high-society social scene and proceeded to court her. Courtship was quick, and they were married in January 1759, in what at the time was viewed as a marriage of convenience. They were, however, happily married for 41 years. (Note: Th
e marriage took place at the plantation that Martha owned, in what was called the “White House.”)
When Johnny Met Louisa: Louisa Catherine Johnson, who was born in London, met John Quincy Adams at her home in Nantes, France, in 1779. She was 4; he was 12. Adams was traveling with his father, John Adams, who was on a diplomatic mission in Europe. The two met again in 1795 in London, when John was a minister to the Netherlands. He courted her, all the while telling her she’d have to improve herself if she was going to live up to his family’s standards (his father was vice president at the time). She married him anyway, in 1797—and his family made it no secret that they disapproved of the “foreigner” in their family. Nevertheless, they were married until John Quincy Adams’s death in 1848. Louisa remains the only foreign-born First Lady in U.S. history.
When Jimmy Met Ann: In the summer of 1819, James Buchanan, 28, became engaged to Ann Coleman, 23, the daughter of a wealthy iron magnate in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. He spent very little time with her during the first months of the engagement, being extremely busy at his law office, and rumors swirled that he was seeing other women and was only marrying her for her money. The rumors are believed to be untrue, but Ann took them to heart, and in November, after several distraught weeks, she wrote to him that the engagement was off. On December 9 she died of an overdose of laudanum, possibly in a suicide. Buchanan was devastated, and even more so when her family refused to allow him to see Ann’s body or attend her funeral. He disappeared for some time but eventually returned to his work in Lancaster. After Ann’s death, Buchanan vowed that he would never marry. He didn’t…and remains the only bachelor president in American history.
When Gracie Met Calvin: One day in 1903, Grace Anna Good-hue was watering flowers outside the Clarke School for the Deaf in Northampton, Massachusetts, where she taught. At some point, she looked up and saw a man through the open window of a boarding house across the street. He was shaving, his face covered with lather, and dressed in his long johns. He was also wearing a hat. Grace burst out laughing, and the man turned to look at her. That was the first meeting of Grace and Calvin Coolidge. They were married two years later.
When Harry Met Bessie: Harry Truman met Bess Wallace in 1890, at the Baptist Church in Independence, Missouri. They were there for Sunday school—he was six; she was five. Truman later wrote of their first meeting: “We made a number of new acquaintances, and I became interested in one in particular. She had golden curls and has, to this day, the most beautiful blue eyes. We went to Sunday school, public school from the fifth grade through high school, graduated in the same class, and marched down life’s road together. For me she still has the blue eyes and golden hair of yesteryear.” Bess and Harry were married in 1919.
When Lyndie Met Lady: Lyndon Baines Johnson met Claudia “Lady Bird” Taylor in 1934, a few weeks after she’d graduated from the University of Texas. Johnson was a 26-year-old aide to Texas congressman Richard Kleberg, and was in Austin, Texas, on business. They went on a single breakfast date, at the end of which Johnson proposed marriage. She said she’d think about it. He returned to Washington, and sent her letters and telegrams every day until he returned to Austin 10 weeks later, when she accepted. “Sometimes,” she later wrote about her husband, “Lyndon simply takes your breath away.”
When Richie Met Pattie: Thelma “Pat” Ryan graduated from the University of Southern California in 1937 at the age of 25. She got a job as a high school teacher in Whittier, a small town near Los Angeles, and became a member of the amateur theatrical group the Whittier Community Players. In 1938 Richard Nixon, a 26-year-old lawyer who had just opened a firm in nearby La Habra, joined the theater group, thinking that acquiring acting skills would help him in the courtroom. In their first performance, Nixon was cast opposite Ryan. He asked her out—and asked her to marry him on their first date. They were married three years later.
When Ronnie Met Nancy: Ronald Reagan wrote in his autobiography that he first met Nancy Davis when she came to him for help. He was president of the Screen Actors Guild, and she couldn’t get a job acting in movies because another Nancy Davis’s name had shown up on the Hollywood blacklist of alleged communists. Nancy. But according to Jon Weiner’s book Professors, Politics, and Pop, SAG records show that Nancy’s blacklist problem occurred in 1953—a year after the Reagans were married. So how did they meet? Reagan biographer Anne Edwards says that in 1949 Nancy, who had just become an MGM contract player, told a friend of Reagan’s that she wanted to meet him. The friend invited the two to a small dinner party, and the rest is history.
When Georgie Met Laura: Joe and Jan O’Neill lived in Midland, Texas, and were childhood friends of Laura Welch. In 1975 another childhood friend, George W. Bush, came back to Midland after being away for a few years. The O’Neills bugged Laura to go out with George, but she didn’t want to. She later said that the O’Neills were only trying to get them together “because we were the only two people from that era in Midland who were still single.” She finally agreed to meet him at a backyard barbecue in 1977, when she was 30 and he was 31. George was smitten; Laura was, too. They were married three months later.
When Barry Met Michelle. In 1989 Michelle Robinson was working at a Chicago law firm when she was assigned to mentor a summer associate from Harvard with a “strange name”—Barack Obama. Not long after, Barack, 27, asked Michelle, 25, on a date. She later said she was reluctant to date one of the few black men at the large firm because it seemed “tacky.” She finally relented and after dating for several months, she suggested they get married. He wasn’t interested. One night in 1991, during dinner at a Chicago restaurant, she brought it up again. Again he said no. But when dessert showed up, there was an engagement ring in a box on one of the plates. They were married in 1992.
GO, ARTICHOKES!
Calling them Lions, Tigers, or Warriors might make your college sports team sound intimidating, but everyone does that. Want to really stand out? Try one of these unintimidating college sports team nicknames.
School: Webster University Gorloks
Story: Gorlok? There’s no such thing as a “gorlok.” The word was invented by Webster staff and students in a name-the-team contest. According to the school, the gorlok has “the paws of a speeding cheetah, the horns of a fierce buffalo, and the face of a dependable St. Bernard.”
School: Whittier College Poets
Story: The college was founded by the American poet John Greenleaf Whittier.
School: Presbyterian College Blue Hose
Story: Blue hose are the socks traditionally worn by some Scottish clans with their kilts. Really, it’s no different from, say, the Red Sox (although “sox” is more intimidating than “hose”).
School: Scottsdale Community College Fighting Artichokes Story: When the school opened in 1970, a student-written school constitution put a limit on how much money could be spent on athletics. The administration diverted funds to sports anyway and asked the student body to propose a mascot. In protest, the student government came up with the Artichokes.
School: Amherst College Lord Jeffs (and Lady Jeffs)
Story: Named after Lord Jeffrey Amherst, a British army officer best known for giving smallpox blankets to Native Americans during the French and Indian War in the 1760s.
School: Rhode Island School of Design Nads
Story: The prestigious art school plays some semiformal hockey games against other art schools. Obviously it doesn’t take its mascot name too seriously—“nads” is a slang term for male genitalia. (The basketball team has a different name. They’re called the Balls.)
FABULOUS FLOP: THE GYROJET
Flying cars, food replicators, and other bits of sci-fi technology have been
“just around the corner” since the 1950s…and yet they never seem to
get here. In the 1960s, however, one company did manage to
bring a futuristic weapon to market. Here’s the story.
THINKING SMALL
In the 1960s, as NASA
was preparing to send astronauts to the moon aboard giant Saturn V rockets, two inventors in San Ramon, California, were hard at work trying to prove that tiny rockets, small enough to fit in the palm of your hand, could do big things, too. Robert Mainhardt and Art Biehl were partners in a company called MB Associates that worked mostly on classified military projects. But in 1965, they patented a product intended for sale to the public as well as the military: the “Gyrojet,” a handgun that fired rockets instead of bullets.
The Gyrojet looked a lot like an ordinary handgun: At first glance the only obvious difference was the holes that were drilled down the length of the left and right sides of the barrel—vents for the rocket exhaust. But the gun’s performance was nothing like that of an ordinary pistol.
BULLET BASICS
A typical round of ammunition—what is commonly called a “bullet”—has several parts: the actual bullet (the projectile), a metal casing, the gunpowder inside the casing, and a primer. The bullet is attached to the casing at one end, and the primer is at the opposite end. When you pull the trigger of a handgun, the hammer—the part you cock when you’re getting ready to shoot—strikes the primer, causing it to explode. The exploding primer ignites the gunpowder, which also explodes. The rapidly expanding gases given off by the exploding gunpowder are what separate the bullet from the cartridge and propel it out the barrel of the gun.
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