by Vivian Wood
She wanted to run toward him, throw her arms around his neck and never let him go ever again. But that wasn't an option right now, so instead, she controlled her movements until she reached his bench and took a seat next to him. She was dizzy from his proximity and the difficult conversation they were about to have. When she left here today, her heart was going to be shattered all over again for the final time, or it was going to be on its way to healing. She sucked in a deep breath as she approached him.
She could feel the electricity buzzing between them as she sat down next to him, not quite touching, but maintaining eye contact as they sat next to one another.
“Hi,” she squeaked as she sat down. Yes, she squeaked. That was how nervous she was. So fucking sexy. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, I’ll be here all week. She gave a quick mental curtsy to the voices in her head.
“Hi.” Oh, that voice! Her head spun just a little at hearing it. She had been so sure so many times over the last couple of days that she was never going to hear it in person ever again, yet, here it was! Here he was…
“How are you?” she asked, feeling awkward.
He stared at her before composing himself and swallowing hard. “Seriously? How am I?” His eyes were guarded and his fingers were twitching in his lap. If she didn’t know any better, she'd say that he was just as nervous as she was, but he couldn’t possibly be. He played to stadiums filled to the brim with thousands upon thousands of people and he did it without skipping a beat. No, it must have been something else… She was no celebrity, there was no way he could be nervous talking to her.
His voice pulled her from her little internal freakout debate.
“I’m shit, Serena. Really fucking shit actually.” He laughed humorlessly. “Is that what you wanted to hear?” His voice was hard as steel, guarded just like his eyes that still hadn't left hers were.
“I’m sorry, Rhys.” she said softly. “Of course I don’t want to hear that!” Her voice cracked a little.
“I didn’t come here for an ‘I’m sorry,’ Serena. You said you wanted to explain something, so explain. Don’t apologize. Just explain.” Was that hurt seeping into his voice?
She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. She should have planned what she was going to say. Fuck. Okay, she could do this. She had to try, right?
“I’ve eaten more ice cream the last few days than I have ever eaten in my entire life!” she blurted out.
His eyes narrowed. Right, that wasn't an explanation.
“Sorry, I’m just… I’m really nervous and I should have planned what I was going to say, but I didn’t and now there are so many things that I want to say and explain and I just don’t know where to start or how to say any of it.” She could feel the tears threatening to make a return performance, but she pushed them down. This was her one chance. The last and only one she was going to get. She needed to take it and deal with any tears later. By herself, after he rejected her again… The thought brought on a fresh bout of tears, but she pushed them down, too, hardly getting a grip on herself before he spoke.
“How about you start with what happened after I went into that meeting. Feels like that’s a fitting start since it seems that was the beginning of the fucking end.” His voice was softer now and she could definitely hear hurt, maybe something else.
Wait, the end? He said the end… She tried to swallow the country-sized lump that had formed in her throat at the words. It refused to go anywhere, so she forced the words around it.
“Okay. Uhm. You went into the meeting and told me to go to your room. I was on my way there when I saw some of the groupies sitting on the kitchen counter.” He looked confused for a second before he breathed, “At the A/C vent?”
“Yes. They motioned me over, and I don’t know… I went. I could hear you on the other side.” His eyebrows had shot up in surprise when she'd said that she'd gone over to the A/C vent, but she pushed on.
“I don’t know why I did it. I’ve asked myself that question thousands of times since. It was a private conversation, I’m so sorry.”
“Serena,” he warned quietly, looking like he was about to interrupt again.
“No, let me finish, please… I have to explain.” His shoulders were tense, but he didn't say anything. “Right, sorry. Uhm, I mean, no I’m sorry, okay. Got it. I’ll stop saying sorry, okay.” Deep breaths, Serena.
Just get through it, she chided herself. She waved imaginary pom-poms in her head and then continued, trying to hold onto the secret of positive vibes or whatever, but without “sorries” anymore.
“Like I said. I could hear you. I heard you arguing with Deacon and Anders. And then,” her eyes welled up at the memory. “I heard you telling them that the only reason I was there was to keep the press from finding out about Anders’ drug problem, and… I know what I signed up for. But I just…I just, it stopped feeling fake to me, you know? I, you… I felt my heart breaking when I heard those words. I went up to your room, but I just, I had to get out of there. I had to talk to someone and Mary and Katie weren’t picking up, so I phoned Josh and asked him to meet me at the coffee shop.”
“Fuck,” he breathed. “That’s why you shouldn’t listen in on people’s conversations. And if you’re going to, follow through with it!” He repeated Mary’s words, making her feel even worse.
“I fucking defended you to them, defended us! I threatened to quit the fucking band because of what Anders was fucking saying about you, about us. I told them that I may have asked you to be my fake girlfriend for those reasons, but that you weren’t that to me anymore. Haven’t been for a while. Not by any stretch of the fucking imagination. By the time I broke the fucking table and stormed out, you were gone and when I found you… You were glued to his lips.”
The crash she'd heard just before leaving. Shit, she must have left just before he stormed out.
“I heard the crash,” she said quietly. “But I didn’t know you defended me to them, or that you defended us… or that you threatened to quit Misery… I’m so so-” she stopped herself before she started with I’m sorry again.
Even then, Serena,” he practically growled at her. “It doesn’t give you the right to jump straight into someone else’s arms. If you felt fucking anything for me, you would have waited for me, to talk to me about it!” he said bitterly.
“I didn’t… Fuck, Rhys. I know what it must have looked like, but I swear, I didn’t jump into his arms! I didn’t want him to kiss me! I just needed to talk to someone and he’s one of my oldest friends. We’ve known each other since I was seven years old. I asked Josh to meet me at the coffee shop to talk. You’re right, I should’ve waited for you, talked to you. I was just so shocked. And hurt. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I told him what had happened and he was saying something about him being real and me not knowing what real was and then he just kissed me. I was so shocked that I froze. And that’s when you showed up.”
For the first time since she'd arrived at the park, his eyes seemed soft. More like her Rhys, the one she was hopelessly, truly, madly and absolutely in love with- and still hadn't told. But she took the look in his eyes as encouragement to continue.
“I know I was hesitant about being with you at first, Rhys. About the arrangement and everything, but that never had anything to do with Josh. I was never going to be with him- ever! He’s just a friend, always has been. I’ve never had those feelings for him. You, on the other hand…” She felt tears flowing down her cheeks as she thought of what she felt for him, tried to muster up the courage to tell him.
He groaned and pulls her into him. She buried her face in his chest and ran her hand through his hair, trying to calm the tears by breathing him in and feeling him near her.
Nothing in this world smelled as divine as Rhys. If you could bottle it and sell it as a perfume, you’d make more money than Misery. He held her tightly and ran his fingers through her hair over and over again. They stayed like that for a short while. Without letting her go, he tilted her face
up to his and fixed her with those gorgeous, mesmerizing eyes.
“So you were never with him? He blindsided you with the kiss?” He blinked at her, already much more relaxed.
“Yes,” she breathed. He looked deeply into her eyes, finding whatever he was looking for there. He breathed a heavy sigh, of what she hoped was acceptance.
“What do say, princess, you think you can give us another chance?” he asked quietly.
Her heart swelled with the most incredible, overwhelming joy as she drank in his expression and reveled in the marvel that he actually wanted her - for real - as she found her voice.
“Yes,” it came out clear and soft. “Absolutely yes!” she said more clearly this time.
His mouth turned up into the most radiant grin that she had ever seen before he pressed his lips to hers and kissed her with the hunger of a starving man again. An all-consuming kiss she could feel in every nerve in her body, into the deepest reaches of her soul and she moaned happily.
“I love you, Rhys.” The words slipped out as the kiss broke. His eyes widened for just a split second and he grinned even wider, more radiantly than he had when she'd said yes, his face seeming at risk of splitting open. “And I utterly, completely and totally love you too, Serena,” he said, before pulling her back into that kiss.
It felt like hours had passed since she'd walked into the park; she didn't know how much time had actually gone by as Rhys and her walked toward the exit though, their hands entwined as if fused together. His arm holding her close to his side. They must have looked like such fools, but nothing could burst her bubble. He was wearing his baseball cap and sunglasses and with his face tucked into her neck and hair, they weren't bothered by anyone.
“Hey, do you wanna meet my sister and Mary? They insisted on coming with me, moral support or something. They’re in that coffee shop over there. It’s okay if you don’t want to, they’re both huge fans, so they might scream… But they’ve also been dying to meet my boyfriend and they’ve really helped this whole process along the last few days…”
“Moral support?” he asked, an amused expression in his eyes.
The tips of her ears went red. “Yeah, they wanted to be here in case it didn’t go well, and to meet you if it did. I know it sounds pathetic, but…” He cut her off with a chaste kiss.
“That coffee shop there?” He nodded toward it and smirked.
“Yeah, that’s the one.”
“Look at the car parked outside it, princess.”
She spotted his black Range Rover, a bit confused as to why he was pointing his car out to her, until he lifted their joined hands in the air as if claiming victory and laughed. “Milo and Luc are in it. Moral support or something.” His eyes twinkled.
“So, are you going to introduce me to your sister and best friend, or am I going to be your dirty little secret forever? You’ve already met my family.”
Katie and Mary started cheering as they entered the coffee shop, hands still entwined, so she copied Rhys’ ”victory” gesture and they took a little bow before they headed over to them.
Luckily, the coffee shop was rather empty and the other patrons didn't look too put out by the cheering.
“Rhys, meet Katie and Mary. You guys know him, but this is Rhys, officially my boyfriend.” His radiant grin was back as he pulled Katie and Mary both toward them and into a group hug. Needless to say, they both squealed at hugging him, but they squeezed her as well and Katie whispered in her ear, “Proud of you, sis! Be happy!”
“Hey hey hey, what’s this now?” Luc’s voice boomed from the door as he and Milo bound toward them.
“Are we not invited to the group hug, then?” Milo feigned hurt. “Ya know, I heard this happens when guys fall in love, they forget all about their friends and stuff. But my surrogate sis, I expected better from you,” he said dramatically, slamming his hand over his heart, but both laughed as they reached them and pulled them all together again.
“Good to see you, Sese,” Milo exclaimed as the group hug ended. “He’s a drag without you.“ “You should have fucking seen him, Sese,” Luc said. She was Sese to him now, too? Seemed the nickname had stuck for good. “He was impossible to live with, never leave again!” Their easygoing banter carried on for another minute or so, until they noticed Katie and Mary, completely starstruck and slackjawed.
She giggled at their expressions. They were both usually so confident and self-assured, yet her sister and best friend had both been rendered speechless. Stop the presses!
“Katie, Mary, meet Luc and Milo - for whatever introduction they might need to you two,” she teased. “Luc, Milo, my sister Katie and my best friend, Mary.”
Katie was the first to recover and to her surprise, before even acknowledging Milo and Luc, she swatted Rhys on the arm. “You ever hurt her again and I’ll hunt you down and shave your eyebrows off, I don’t care if you have an army of security! I’ll find a way! You hear me?” she said sternly.
“Yes, ma’am.” He gave her a little salute, eyes crinkling with laughter.
“Good, in that case, it’s great to meet you all.”
Milo, Luc, Katie and Mary exchanged excited hugs. They’d no sooner finished the nice to meet yous before Luc exclaimed, “Celebratory drinks at the house! The thundercloud has dissipated! Sese’s back! All is right in the world! Well, celebratory-flavored water for me! But hell!” He had unknowingly repeated Katie’s exact thundercloud analogy from earlier. “Fuck it, it’s a special occasion, soda for me!” he cried laughingly.
Rhys pulled her closer to him, his hands digging into her hips. “You guys go, we’ll catch up… in a couple of days.” He smirked. “I’m taking my girlfriend here home, and she’s not leaving my bed for at least as long as we were apart, so don’t expect us for two and half days - at least.”
Their laughter and cheers followed them as Rhys guided her out of the coffee shop, palm seeming to burn on the small of her back.
26
Six months later
Remember how life went to hell in a handbasket, up in flames, whatever you want to call it in six days a couple of months ago? Well, it has been absolute perfection for six months now, she thought.
She swatted Mary’s arm for probably the tenth time. “Stop that!” she teased as she handed over the next cupcake for her to frost.
Mary and her were in the kitchen at the Malibu house, finishing off the frosting on the last few cupcakes for Christmas dessert.
Only, Mary was sneaking more glances at Milo, Rhys and Luc who were casually draped over the couches in the lounge, than focusing on her frosting. Luc and Rhys were strumming their guitars and all three were singing along to some old Misery tune, trying to decide who could do the best imitation of Jett. Their music was interspersed with shots of laughter as they tried to outdo one another with what they called their “Jett moves.”
“So,” she drew her attention back to their conversation. “I have some news. I’ve been accepted to the Otis College of Art and Design! I start in the spring!” She watched with bated breath as she froze, threw her hands up over her head and started swinging them around, her “whooo hoooo!” resonating through the house. “Congratulations, girl! I knew you would get in! I knew it!” She threw her arms around Serena and hugged her tight.
The guys stopped their fooling around at Mary’s cheers and she felt Rhys’ strong arms wrap around her waist. “You told her, then?” he asked, pride ringing in his voice. She had been reluctant to start actually applying to schools, convinced she wasn’t good enough to get in. Rhys wouldn’t take no for an answer and patiently but doggedly insisted she apply. He had been with her every step of the way and seemed as excited as she was.
“I did!” She beamed at his twinkling eyes and he rewarded her with a soft kiss. “I’m so proud of you love, you’re going to be great!” he whispered against her ear, his breath washing over her skin, sending shivers up her spine. Instead of dwindling with time like she had expected, the effect that Rhys had on
her became stronger every day. And she thanked her lucky stars for him every morning when she woke up next to her living, breathing dream come true.
Rhys and her had decided to move to the house in Malibu about a month after they had gotten back together. It was more peaceful here, they were more relaxed and they had more time to themselves - which had been the deciding factor after the third time she'd been on the brink of orgasm only for someone to knock on the door looking for the bathroom or a spontaneous party broke out at the house in the Hills. It might have been Rhys’ place, but it was way too convenient for the guys to move - or organize - their parties there. Something that they had taken to for a while there, claiming to miss having them around all the time.
There was a lot less foot traffic here. The guys were here all the time and Mary and Katie visited often, but it was different- no groupies, executives or lawyers in sight and the only parties they hosted were the ones they actually wanted to have, when they wanted to have them, with the people that they invited.
Well, the guys minus Anders for now - were here all the time. Once he was released, she had no idea whether they would stick to the plan to record from the studio here or if Anders would insist on recording elsewhere.
It had been hell getting him to agree to rehab. Finally, first Rhys and then the others had gotten him to agree by refusing to start recording the new album until he got clean. Deacon threw a complete shitfit - it had been glorious to behold - and threatened that the label would drop them if they didn’t start recording immediately. As the family that they were, Misery had stood their ground against the threats - shrugging them off in their ”devil-may-care” way until Anders agreed to go just to “shut them the fuck up” as he had put it.
And the press? Annie was a complete genius! The band had announced that they were taking a bit of a break before their next album was released, claiming exhaustion from the pace they’d been keeping up for the last five years. Somehow, no one had found out about Anders having been admitted to rehab. As far as the world knew, he was backpacking across Europe. Photos of his trip even showed up on his Instagram page every now and then.
