by Sarah Havan
“I’m nervous.”
“Don’t be,” Conrad said, patting my hand.
“We’re going to talk to other people like us. I’m just worried we’ll be rejected or something.”
“We won’t. Everyone will love you.” I wished I could catch a case of Conrad’s confidence.
When we pulled up to The Welcome Center, I pressed my tongue to the roof of my mouth. This was our new life, but I hadn’t fully embraced it yet, wasn’t sure if I ever would. I was happy with being pregnant that we were going to be dads; it was the rest of the stuff that I still felt unsure about.
Conrad rubbed my back as we walked to the front door. “Your shaking.”
“I think I want to bolt.”
“Let’s hang out for a few minutes and see if you change your mind,” he said, holding the door open for me. “Look, there’s Mr. Jones.”
Mr. Jones waved to us and said something to the guy he was talking to. The guy then started in our direction.
“I’m the official welcome committee for the evening it seems.”
Conrad shook the guy’s hand. “I’m Conrad, and this is Mason.”
“I’m Sam.” He smiled at us, scrunching up the freckles that danced across his pale, white face. He stood a few inches taller than me and was very pregnant.
I pressed my lips together and took a breath in through my nose. Being there, seeing Sam, it made it all so real. Sam’s belly bulged out in front. He looked pretty darn far along. That was going to be me in just a matter of time.
“Mason, would you like to come talk to me? We can go over in the corner there and have a bit of privacy if you’d like,” Sam said.
I licked my lips. “That actually sounds like a good idea.”
“I’ll go get us some drinks,” Conrad said. He squeezed my shoulder and took off. I followed Sam who waddled when he walked.
“You’re kind of freaked out, aren’t you?” Sam asked, rubbing a hand over his stomach.
“Yeah, a little. This all has been a bit much.”
“It’s overwhelming. Dr. Matthews found me just like how she found you, and it took a lot of convincing from her to even get me here to check things out. I didn’t want to believe it. I was in denial for a while.”
“When she told us, it all kind of made sense.” In a way, I knew we belonged in that new life, amongst alpha and omegas and secret living, but that didn’t mean I was going to willingly accept it yet.
“You had your aha moment a lot sooner than I did,” Sam said, scratching his head of thick blond hair.
“How far along are you?” I asked. Sam stood across from me, holding underneath his stomach with both hands, wearing a T-shirt and cardigan.
“Six months.”
“Oh, wow.”
“I’m pretty huge, but it is my third pregnancy,” Sam said, glancing at me. “If you were just having one baby, I’d say you look six months, but since you’re like us, I bet you’re about between three and four.”
“Exactly between,” I said, looking down at my protruding stomach. The maternity jeans cradled it perfectly, accentuating its size, and the T-shirt I wore was no longer loose even though I had gotten it just days before. It clung to my body. My breasts were quite accentuated, too. Just since the short amount of time we found out, I grew a lot.
“Twins?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s great, but ask me anything.”
“I don’t even know where to start. Can I ask you something private?”
“Ask away. No shame here.”
“I’m really hung up on this whole having breasts thing. Will they go back down?” Somehow, I was fine with being pregnant but had yet to fully come to terms with my female anatomy.
“That varies from omega to omega. Did you have some before you got pregnant?”
“Small ones.” I looked down at my chest. They still hadn’t grown that large, but they were a lot bigger than they were and now always noticeable.
“So they’ll still be there then. That’s your body. Some omegas go back to their original size and some stay larger. And the more children you have, the better your chance at growing a cup size or a few.”
“Will it be insulting if I said oh crap?” I asked, thinking about going out in public with breasts. For the time being, I did my best to hide everything under clothes when I went to school and anywhere else. Yes, I got my new maternity clothes, which felt so much better than my tight sweats, but I still wore Conrad’s hoodies over them, hiding away the truth underneath.
“Not at all. Some wear binding for when they go in public. But I don’t care if people see me. A man, walking around with breasts, but most of us don’t wander far when we start showing. I stay right here. Otherwise, I’d have people pounding on my door wanting to do news stories, take pictures, go on talk shows, tell me I’m an abomination. Fun stuff like that.”
“That’s horrible. Don’t you get bored?”
“Not at all. We have a house here. There’s a shop for when you need odds and ends. My alpha does all the big grocery shopping. I live life just like anyone else. We have playdates, get together for coffee. I work at home doing accounting for a small business. I have a very full and wonderful life. I’m sorry. Sometimes I go off on tangents because some people just don’t understand.”
“We could never afford a house.”
“They help you with everything. And some pairs just come and stay during the pregnancy at the guest suites. And like I said, you don’t have to, but a lot of us omegas do because we want to keep our way of life private. We don’t want anyone to ruin what we have here.”
“Okay, and that makes sense. I kind of get it. What about like when you went to the doctor? And all these others? How come no one has caught on?”
“After the initial visit, we switch OBGYNs. The doctors forget about us. And if they don’t, we explain it away. It was all a mistake. We decided not to go through with the pregnancy, so on and so forth.”
“Doesn’t anyone go and do their own thing?” I asked.
“Not many. We have this instinct to stay close and protect each other. And like I said, we try to keep our way of life here private.”
“I’m in school. Am I supposed to just drop out? I can’t spend my life being a breeding machine.”
“I was fortunate to have gotten pregnant after I finished college. You don’t have to drop out at all.”
“But would I ruin it for everybody else?”
“No, but you’d have a lot of questions coming your way, so if you’re up for that, it’s fine. But you can do distant learning, online school. Skip a semester. You can still have a full life.”
“You’re whole tangent thing.”
Sam smiled. “Exactly. You have a lot to think about.”
“Too much. I think my brain hurts, but I still have so many more questions.”
“I’m here to answer your questions all evening.”
I bit the corner of my lip, trying to sort through all that I wanted to know. “Okay, so, ah, God,” I said, putting my hands over my face. “Gah, okay, so when I went into heat, it was my first time.”
“So it was quite the experience.”
“That’s one way to put it. But how was he hitting my prostate if he wasn’t in the right place?”
“Our vaginal canal runs along the prostate. So, when his knot forms it presses into it. Each time he pumps in and out, while it’s not a direct hit, it’s still rubbing and pressing against it. All the other pleasure you feel is because the opening of our vaginal canals have a ton of nerve endings. And while you don’t have an external clitoris, you still have the internal part of one, and that gets pressed on, too. And while for people with a more regular mating habit, the g-spot can be hard to find, but due to the intrusive size of the alpha’s erection and with the knot, it gets found every time. So you’re getting sensations from all over.”
“Yeah, sure did. I think I passed out.”
“That happens.”
&nbs
p; “So, has that … I’m not sure how to word it. But has that opening always been there?”
“It has, but it’s usually so tight, you never notice. It expands when you’re with your mate, and the rectum will tighten.”
“So, he has no choice but to go in there. But the doctor could get in there.”
“Now that your alpha has helped open it, it will remain so.”
“Isn’t that like…?”
“If someone directly presses on it, it will open some, but for the most part it stays tight.”
“But I was told about being receptive or something?” Me on all fours, thrusting my ass in the air, screaming for Conrad to fuck me came to mind.
“If you and your body don’t want the alpha in there, they’re not getting very far. You’ll be too tight. A doctor can slide in a finger or two, an instrument, but an alpha is so well-endowed, it’s not going to fly. The only way you can get fully penetrated by an alpha is when the alpha you’re mating with is in their rut. They need that force, that urge to get them in.”
“Well, that explains why I screamed.”
Sam laughed. “And even though when aroused, you’re wet, create your own slick, that first time can be intense pressure, pushing aside that tissue.”
“So, after a while, it won’t be as bad?” I asked. A lifetime of agonizing but yet, oddly pleasurable sex ahead of me.
“Yes, that first time, you’re adjusting, getting used to it. You’ll always have that pressure and burn but never as much as the first few heats.”
“Oh gosh.”
“But I bet you felt so satisfied afterward. Your need was met.”
“Things hurt for days, but yeah.” Afterward, I felt relieved, calm, and happy that the urge was gone.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Conrad
“Hi, I’m Tyler. Your omega is over there talking to my omega, Sam.” Tyler had a good fifteen years on me, and his brown hair started to gray around the temples.
“Hey, I’m Conrad. Why don’t you just say boyfriend or husband?” I asked. I loved thinking that Mason was my omega, but referring to him that way all the time sounded so possessive.
“We do. But when we’re around others like us, it’s just a way to identify ourselves.”
“And assert that whole dominance thing?” Beside now thinking of Mason as my omega, I also thought of him as mine and no one else’s, but when I thought about it, that started even before we found things out.
Tyler laughed. “Maybe a little bit of that, too. Some pairings are more traditional with the dominant alpha and submissive omega. Some are flipped. Some don’t care for it. It just depends on what works well with your mate.”
“Sounds so weird, my mate.”
“You’re omega.”
“I’m still trying to wrap my head around this all.”
“We’re just like anyone else. We just have needs that are a bit more animalistic.”
“Yeah, we found that out.” Mason on all fours, whimpering and panting with me fucking him so hard, and the two of us clawing each other, the bed, me biting him. Animalistic definitely fit the bill.
“First heat with your mate?” Tyler asked.
“We didn’t know what it was at the time. Afterward, I couldn’t stop apologizing. I felt so bad, but he kept insisting it was okay.”
“When your omega goes into heat, and you’re in your rut, you both are working on pure primal instinct. During his heat, you’re not having sex for pleasure. It’s for the sole purpose of mating. You both need to do what nature demands of you.”
“I felt like I was hurting him.” All of his cries and tears, his shivering body. It hurt my heart thinking about it.
“This will sound horrible, but chances are, you did. You need to breed him, and that need is so strong that the sex is incredibly intense. You have this drive to get it done no matter what. And they know that. Their bodies know that. They beg for it.”
“But yet it was somehow like whoa.”
“The pleasure is insurmountable. Even though you’re so rock hard, it hurts, and it feels like your knot’s going to explode, it’s a sensation you can’t beat.”
“What about for them?”
“They derive great pleasure from it, too. Multiples orgasms, but it also tires them out, and they have to deal with the extreme pressure inside them from your knot expanding and pushing on everything in them, stretching their vaginal canal, making it feel like their being torn, but yet they have that ecstasy. Sam says it’s a feeling I will never be able to understand.”
“It sounds kind of horrible. Omegas get the short end of the stick.” My poor Mason.
“They go through a lot. Alphas are pretty well endowed to begin with, but when we’re erect with our knot, we’re so huge, we are seriously moving their organs. We shove their cervix and uterus up just so we can fit.”
“Jesus.”
“But then they have the gift of being able to bear a child. I look at Sam, and I see someone so special. I have so much respect for him.” He smiled and looked over at Sam and Mason talking. The way Tyler looked at Sam, you could tell their love was so deep and real. I wondered if I looked at Mason the same way.
“I see you’re expecting. Is this your first?” I asked.
“Oh, no. We have five already.”
“Wow.”
“A set of twins and a set of triplets. Another set of twins on the way.”
“That sounds like a lot of work.” I knew having twins would be a lot, but more kids than that sounded exhausting.
“It is, but we love it. Many pairings have a lot of children.”
“Does this go back to the animal/wolf thing?” I asked.
“It does. We have an instinct to breed,” Tyler said. It was similar to what Dr. Garcia said.
“We haven’t even finished school yet. We’ll be living in the gutter if that’s the case.”
“We wouldn’t let that happen. We’re all about helping each other. We like to look at ourselves as a pack.”
“A pack. And with this whole wolf thing … I bit him, hard. Is that because of it?”
“You marked him, claimed him as yours.”
“Before we even found everything out, I told him he was mine.” Somehow, I just knew.
“It’s that instinct in you.”
“I think I need another drink.”
Sam slapped me on the back. “Come with me.”
***
“Learn anything good?” I asked Mason on our way home. The headlights lit up the dark road that led away from Pine Wood Falls.
“Besides my life becoming a nineteen-fifties sitcom?” Mason asked, letting out a deep breath.
“It doesn’t have to be like that, but Tyler did say a lot of pairs like to keep it traditional and have large families.”
“So that means me at home always barefoot and pregnant, taking care of the kids and house.”
“It’s your choice, Mason.” And I almost didn’t want to admit it, but in a way, that sounded wonderful to me. Having a little house with me working and taking care of my husband and children. Him being able to spend all day with the kids without having to worry about work.
“I know. I can’t help but feel that I’m inferior in all of this.”
“If I have ever made you feel inferior, I am so, so sorry.”
“You haven’t. It’s all this info. It’s still hard to process.”
“Much time hasn’t passed since we found everything out. Maybe you need some time.”
“What if I never process it all?”
“Then you don’t. Okay?”
“Okay.”
***
“Well, it turns out who I am is even more complicated than the complicated than we already thought I was.” A couple of weeks had gone by since we went to the get-together.
“Who you are is a nineteen-year-old boy, man,” I told Mason.
“Am I?”
“Boy?” I asked. We still were technically teenagers after all
.
Mason’s face fell. “I don’t know. Talked to Dr. Matthews today. My results from my chromosome test came in. I was scared to tell you.”
“What? Why? You should never be scared to tell me anything.”
“I have female chromosomes.”
“Really?” I asked. I knew it was a possibility, but it was still a bit surprising to hear.
“Yep. So yeah. And if I saw a regular endocrinologist instead of her, she said they’d try to label my disorder, but I guess even then it’d be kind of difficult because I don’t fall neatly under one disorder.”
“And this is not counting the omega.”
“No. Since I have an ovotestis, the closest disorder to what I have would be Ovotesticular Disorder. But the main thing is, I have a uterus, secondary female characteristics, and now, female chromosomes. So, I’m pretty much a girl.”
“You’re every bit of a man as you were walking into your first doctor’s appointment.”
“Maybe. I’m just so confused. Dr. Mathews said something similar. That my chromosomes have nothing to do with my gender.”
“Mr. Jones mentioned something about a support group at The Health Center.”
“Yeah, I … I don’t know. I still feel like a boy I think.”
“You are. Well, not a boy, a man.” I got up and went over to his bed. “Scoot over.” He scooted, and we lay nose to nose.
“Thanks for being with me through all of this.”
“It’s where I’m supposed to be.” I rubbed his belly. No matter how he identified, it would never change how much I loved him.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Mason
We were in the midst of a seemingly normal day. Woke up, went to classes, said hi to Margo and Jill, and now we lay in our room. I rolled onto my back and lifted up my shirt. Conrad lay his warm palm on my stomach.
“Hey,” I said.
“What?”
“We never looked for that underwear for you.” I could imagine how sexy he would look in them.
