“Raine, do you really want this? Me? I don’t want to—”
Rising up on her toes, she pressed her lips over the rest of his words. After she’d kissed him softly, she murmured, “Now you’re the one who’s doing too much talking.”
A thousand questions raced through his brain as his fingers tugged the zipper open and the dress peeled away from her skin, but he kept them all to himself. After all, it didn’t matter what had changed her mind from yesterday to today. From the moment he’d met her, he’d wanted this to happen. He couldn’t allow what bit of conscience he had left to ruin it now.
“Maybe we’d better—get out of the kitchen,” he suggested.
Her face sweetly serious, she took him by the hand and led him down a short hallway and into her bedroom.
For an apartment, the room was spacious, but other than that and the old iron bedstead covered with a yellow flowered quilt, he didn’t notice anything around him. His senses were already consumed with Raine and before they could even get to the bed, he tugged her dress down over her hips and watched it pool around her ankles.
To his surprise, she wasn’t wearing a bra and the sight of her pert little breasts all but took his breath away. They were round and full, the nipples like two rosebuds just waiting to bloom before his eyes.
Gently he cupped his hands around the pale orbs and then lowered his mouth to the soft spot between them. From somewhere afar, he could hear her groaning and then her fingers speared into his hair and pressed against his skull.
Slowly his mouth eased up and over the mound until it reached the tight bud in the center. When he touched his tongue there, Raine let out a helpless whimper and urged his head closer.
Hungrily he used his mouth to worship every inch of one breast before turning his attention to the opposite one and by then Raine was completely lost. Her head was reeling and her hands were clinging to his shoulders in order to keep from sinking to her knees. A hot, tight ache had built between her thighs and she thought she would scream if he continued to play with her.
“Neil—oh my—please—”
Her strangled plea lifted his head and as he looked into her eyes, he took her hand and placed it on the crotch of his trousers. Beneath the khaki fabric she could feel his swollen manhood and it shocked her to think that he could want her as much as she wanted him.
“Earlier you said that you weren’t to my taste,” he murmured. “You couldn’t have been more wrong. I’ve never wanted any woman like this.”
“Don’t tell me such things, Neil. Just—just make love to me,” she begged.
Neil kissed her, then turned away to remove his clothing. Once he stepped back and pulled her into his arms, he asked in a fevered voice, “Are you protected?”
Raine nodded awkwardly. “I—er—take the pill for—other reasons,” she explained.
He looked relieved and Raine felt a rush of anticipation as he finally lifted her off the floor and gently placed her on the bed.
Blinds at the windows were twisted almost closed, making cool shadows dance around the room and over the colorful quilt. Outside, beyond the balcony, among the branches of the live oaks, two mockingbirds called to each other. Neil didn’t know why the sound of the birds penetrated his thoughts. Not when his mind and every cell in his body was engorged with desire for the woman in his arms.
It wasn’t until moments later, after he’d entered her warm, giving body, that Neil understood. The birds didn’t want to be completely free. They wanted a mate to fly beside them.
The poignant idea was not a welcome one and he closed his eyes and pushed it away even as he felt Raine’s arms wrapping lovingly around him, her legs entwining with his.
“Neil, tell me what to do,” she whispered fervently. “I don’t know how to please you.”
He opened his eyes to find her looking up at him, her face eager, and drawn with a desire that stunned him. And in that moment he realized what a precious gift she had chosen to give him. For as long as he lived, he would never forget this December morning or the precious woman in his arms.
Lifting his hand to her brow, he pushed away the honey-brown hair and pressed a kiss to her damp skin.
“You couldn’t make me more pleased than I am right now,” he whispered.
Her eyes widened. “But—”
“Quit talking. Just show me what you’re feeling.”
His basic instruction was all she needed and Raine was amazed to feel the last of her fears and inhibitions fly away as she gave her body and her heart to him.
Like a bandit racing to beat the moon, Neil snatched as many kisses and caresses as he could and cached them all inside him before this heaven on earth ended. While beneath him, Raine was certain she was floating up to paradise.
His lips, his hands and the rhythmic thrusts of his hips were doing things to her body that sent wave after wave of burning desire from her head to her toes. And though she tried to keep up with each new sensation he was giving her, she couldn’t. The pleasures were too many to grasp at once. All she could do was hang on and hope this union between them would never end.
But their frenetic passion couldn’t last forever and before long Neil couldn’t stop his warm seed from spilling into her or push back the all-consuming feelings that were quickly flooding his heart and his mind. From somewhere far away he could hear himself groaning like a wounded animal and threaded through that sound were Raine’s soft, quick gasps. He could feel the velvet heat of her body beneath him, surrounding him, while everything else was fading into oblivion.
Like a meteor on course to collide, every muscle in Raine’s body tightened in anticipation of the explosion. It came like a violent jolt and then suddenly she was sailing on peaceful silver clouds, her eyes blinded by the warm sunlight pouring through her, around her.
Neil was the first to regain his senses and he quickly rolled off to one side so as not to squash her with his weight. Then lying on his side, his head nestled next to hers, he placed his hand over the region of her heart and, like a drunken fool, marveled at the rapid thump beneath his fingers.
“Are we still in my bedroom?” she finally managed to murmur.
His smile crinkled the corners of his blue eyes and he brought his lips against her damp forehead.
“We are.”
“I wasn’t sure.” Twisting her head toward his, she opened her eyes and found his blue eyes surveying her with a look that still smoldered. “I thought you’d taken me to heaven.”
A trickle of sweat was sliding down her temple. He stopped it with his finger, then moved his lips to her cheek. “You’re giving me too much credit, sweetheart. I don’t have divine powers.”
Maybe not, Raine thought, but he certainly had a powerful hold on her body and an even stronger grip on her heart. She’d not realized how much until this very moment.
“Oh. Well, I’m glad to find out I just made love to a human.”
Made love. The two simple words bounced around in his head like a rubber ball to cause him both pleasure and unease. Before Raine, he would have used the word sex to describe what had just taken place between them. Even the women in the past would have used the less than romantic term. But obviously Raine viewed things differently and he was astounded to discover that now his own thinking about the matter was being turned upside down and shaken.
She was right, he thought incredibly. There’d been a lot more than just his body involved in their union. But he wasn’t going to try to analyze his feelings right now. Precious time was ticking away. He didn’t want to waste a moment with her.
With decadent pleasure, one hand slid from her breast down to the faint curve of her belly where his forefinger traced a lazy outline around her navel.
“Raine?”
“Hmm?”
“Yesterday—in your office—you ran from me. From this. What made you change your mind?”
She didn’t answer and when her gaze drifted away from his, he reached down and picked up her left hand. His r
ing was the only thing she was wearing and he couldn’t imagine anything he’d rather see on her. Except a smile.
“Was it the ring? I hope to hell you weren’t thinking I expected—compensation,” he said in a voice muffled by the curve of her cheek.
She didn’t look at him and he could feel her body, which had been soft and compliant, stiffening with defense.
“No,” she said tightly. “And even if I had, I wouldn’t have paid you this way.”
She sounded a little miffed and Neil had to admit he couldn’t blame her. But he’d had to ask. He couldn’t help the way in which his mind worked. His mother had warped his thinking and he’d given up on believing he could ever straighten it out.
“I’m sorry, Raine. Sometimes I can’t help being a jerk. Forgive me?”
Sighing softly, she turned onto her side and cupped her hand around the side of his face. “Of course I forgive you. And if you really want to know why I changed my mind, it was because I—”
I love you. The words were on her tongue, kicking and screaming to be released. But she swallowed them. Even after the closeness they’d just shared, it was too soon to reveal her heart’s feelings to him. As far as that went, she wasn’t sure there would ever be a time Neil would want to hear those words. He’d already made it clear he wasn’t a love and marriage man.
“I want you,” she finally finished. “I wanted you yesterday and the day before and the day before that but—this is something I’ve been trying to avoid. Now I—”
His lips curved upward and just looking at them made desire curl in the pit of her stomach.
“Now what?” he urged, his voice husky as he tugged her warm body next to his.
She let out a shaky breath. “I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time.”
Groaning, he rolled onto his back and pulled her on top of him. Her long hair swung forward to hide her face and he reached up to gently tuck it behind her ears.
“Well, we’ll make up for that,” he promised with an inviting grin. “We still have a bit of morning left and we can eat later—when we get back to the Sandbur.”
“Much later,” she whispered as she brought her lips down to his.
Chapter Thirteen
That evening, as the sun dipped below the open, rolling hills of the Sandbur, the smell of roasting meat and mesquite smoke filled the backyard of the Saddler home. Numerous tables, covered with tablecloths in the image of the Texas state flag, had been set up beneath the live oaks.
To one side, a portable, wooden dance floor had been set up and strung with colorful Christmas lights. A local, four-piece band was already entertaining the crowd with country and rhythm and blues, while servants fetched and carried food and drink to the tables and the milling guests.
As for Raine, she’d been glued to Neil’s side until Nicolette had come along and pulled her to one side. Now the physician’s assistant plucked up Raine’s hand and stared with awe at the diamond and emerald ring.
“Good Lord! Has Mother seen this yet?” She gripped Raine’s hand and laughed with excitement. “She’ll say it’s just like Texas—big and beautiful!”
Most all of the family and friends who were going to attend the barbecue had already arrived. As people moved about them, Raine told herself the huge crowd actually had nothing to do with her so-called engagement. Everyone in the far-reaching corners of the county loved to party at the Sandbur for any reason and tonight was no exception. Still, it made her feel guilty to allow her very best friend to believe the ring, and the man standing a few steps away from them, actually belonged to her. Maybe this morning for those few precious hours in her apartment, he had really been her fiancé. Making love with Neil had made that dream almost real to her. Their closeness had given her a sweet glimpse as to what a life with him would be like. But later this afternoon when she’d returned to the Sandbur, reality hit her hard and now she was trying to deal with a sense of emptiness.
“Geraldine has seen the ring,” Raine said, trying to push light notes of joy into her voice. “She says she’s jealous. Can you imagine? Your mother has some of the biggest diamonds in the state of Texas. And she doesn’t even wear them.”
Both women glanced across the lawn to where Geraldine appeared to be in a quiet conversation with a well-known horse buyer in the area. For a man in his sixties, he was extremely fit and darkly handsome. Raine had heard her mention the man before and she couldn’t help but wonder if there was more than talk of horses between the two. She could only hope so. God only knew the woman deserved a little happiness after all she’d been through with losing her husband in a boating accident down in the Gulf.
“Jewels and riches never were important to Mother,” Nicolette replied. “Daddy was her real love. Now the Sandbur has to fill the hole he left.”
The other woman sighed a bit wistfully, before turning a bright smile back on Raine. “I don’t want to think about any of that tonight. Gosh, this is your party and it’s just all so exciting. I can’t believe you kept such a secret from me. Especially when I’ve been hounding you about dating. When on earth did you ever have time to meet him?”
Raine felt her cheeks blushing, but since the shadows were growing deeper she doubted Nicolette could distinguish the color from the blush she’d carefully applied.
“It was—rather hard. But—well—this has all happened very quickly between us. I know I’ve shocked everyone here on the Sandbur with this news.” She laughed and hoped the sound wasn’t full of the nerves that were hopping around in her stomach. She wasn’t exactly sure why she was feeling so edgy tonight. It wasn’t like this acting thing was anything new. From the moment she’d brought Neil to the ranch, she’d been pretending to be happy, to be in love. Now that she really was in love with him, everything should be easier. But in fact, everything was much worse. Not only did she have to feign an engagement in front of her family and friends, but now she had to try to mask her true feelings from Neil. Oh God, would it ever end? she wondered miserably. “But I—I didn’t want to mention Neil until I was sure and then—well, now he’s here.”
Nicolette turned her gaze across the yard to where Neil was standing with her brother, Lex, and cousin, Matt. The three men were talking as if they were old friends and the sight put a smile on her face.
“He’s definitely here. And look how he’s already fitting in. If Lex and Matt like him, then I don’t have to wonder if he’s a good man.” She turned her attention back to Raine and once again squeezed her hand with affection. “I’m so happy for you, Raine. This is what I’ve been praying for you. All of that stuff with your mother and trying to find your father—I understand it’s important, but I was beginning to fear that you were letting it take over your life.” Her expression sobering, she peered closer at Raine. “Uh, that paper you showed me in your office the other morning—what happened? You didn’t make the call, did you?”
Raine’s stomach clenched to a tight fist. “Actually, I did call. But—I don’t think anything will ever come of it. I guess it was just a coincidence that the woman in the picture resembled Mother.”
Nicolette smiled with relief. “Well, speaking of your mother. I can’t believe how well she’s taking all of this. And she’s so dressed up tonight that she looks like a different woman. I hardly recognized her. Neil must have really charmed her or something.”
“Yes. Neil has a way of doing that,” Raine replied. “But for the most part Mother hasn’t been all that keen about this engagement. Right now she seems to be putting on a good front, but I’m afraid that later, after Neil goes back to San Antonio, she’s going to cause me a lot of misery about the matter. So beware, I may be crying on your shoulder.”
Frowning prettily, Nicolette patted Raine’s shoulder. “It’s going to be hard for her to give you up to any man. And maybe it would be better if you simply left with Neil. Are you planning to get married soon?”
Raine suddenly felt dead inside. She wouldn’t be leaving with Neil. She wouldn’t be marrying him. Sh
e wasn’t even sure if she would ever get to make love to him again. The whole idea was killing her. But there wasn’t a thing she could do about it. She obviously couldn’t change his philosophy about marriage. And even if she could, she wasn’t sure she had the courage to marry him, or any man.
“Uh, we haven’t talked about a date yet. This has all happened so quickly. And I don’t want to be in any hurry,” Raine told her.
“Well, from the way Neil looks at you, I doubt you’ll be single for much longer. In fact, he looks like he’s about to come fetch you.”
Neil had been looking forward to tonight and Geraldine’s impromptu party. He normally loved social gatherings. Especially ones that had good food, even better beer, great music, and interesting people as this one did. But already he was wishing the celebration was over and he could take Raine to some quiet, private place and make love to her.
Forget that. He’d already gotten himself into enough trouble, Neil thought. Even so, he couldn’t take his eyes off her for more than a minute. She looked like a Hollywood starlet tonight in a little black dress with its neck draped low on her bosom and her hair twisted into a sleek French twist and fastened with rhinestones. There wasn’t any question that he’d thought she was beautiful before, but after this morning she was much more than that. When he looked at her now, he saw a softness, a loveliness that had nothing to do with her physical attributes.
Having sex with her was supposed to have been a pleasant experience, a nice end to the attraction that had been building between them. But their morning together had been none of those things. He was still shaken from it and he didn’t know quite what to make of the way he was feeling, thinking, wanting. What did it mean? That he was falling in love with her?
Neil refused to believe that was the reason for the strange emotions that continued to grip him. A person didn’t fall in love unless they wanted to, he argued with himself. And he didn’t want to. He refused to believe he could be anything more than the man he’d been thus far. It wasn’t possible to change that much. And yet, he had to admit that he wanted her like nothing he’d ever wanted in his life.
A South Texas Christmas Page 16
