Jessica’s living room looked like something off Pinterest with its cute farmhouse-chic décor and earthy tones. Everything was in its place, not even a speck of dust on a single surface. For a woman who spent her days working as an analyst for the FBI, Jessica always impressed Summer with her ability to keep things spotless as well as lend a helping hand with Joe. Summer could barely keep up with her job in intel, let alone be perfect in every other facet of her life.
The kitchen was an extension of the rest of the pristine house; even the flour container was perfectly centered and devoid of any residue.
One day, maybe, she would be able to keep a house like that of her friend. Then again, she could barely keep her car clean.
“Thanks for watching Joe. I hope he was good for you.” Summer walked to the cupboard and pulled out a bottle and a can of formula. “Did you have enough of everything while I was gone?”
Jessica nodded. “You know Joe, all he wants to do is make everyone smile around him. And I had more than enough of everything, no worries. You done training? It go well?”
For a split second, Summer wondered what it Jessica was talking about—her meetings for work or her seeing Mike. Of all the possible meanings, she chose the one that would be the least uncomfortable to talk about.
“Work was good. We weren’t buttoned up, but after I talked to the higher-ups, they decided I needed to handle things here and waved me through.”
No doubt, given Jess’s work in acronyms, she knew there was far more about Summer’s work in Missoula than she was telling her—thankfully, Jess didn’t press for answers.
Ah, it was great to have a friend who just got it.
Jess nodded, like she could hear all the things Summer wasn’t saying. “So, we gonna talk about the big, burly elephant who is standing in the middle of my living room?”
“I would call him a jackass, but if you want to talk about him...ask away.”
Jess laughed, grabbing the pitcher from the fridge and setting it out to get him a glass of water. “How did it go?”
“Fine. Better than expected.”
Jessica nodded. “Did you guys discuss a parenting plan? Does he want to get back together?”
“Geez, Jess. He’s only known about Joe for a matter of hours. Don’t you think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself?”
Jess turned and faced her. “You know you have thought through all of these things, probably a thousand times faster and more often than I have. You have to have some kind of idea how he is going to work through all of this. You know him.”
Correction, she had known him. Or rather, she had thought she had known him. And yet Mike always had a way of surprising her at the most inopportune times.
“I’m sure he is going to want to get some sort of parenting plan sorted out, but his life is generally even more all over the map than mine.” Summer moved to the sink, filling the bottle with water and adding the powdered formula. Shaking it, she thought of his time in Syria, working with STEALTH. There were weeks in which she had not been able to hear his voice and had barely gotten more than a sentence or two in messages.
Though he was now working a different job for the company, it didn’t mean he would be at home that much more. And how could a man who had no stability in his personal life be able to be a father?
It struck her that maybe that was the reason Mike had left her...maybe he had been right in his assessment of his life. Maybe he really wasn’t able to be her everything—even if they loved one another. Hell, what if he had been right?
If that were true, perhaps it had been a mistake to tell him about Joe. This would put a whole hell of a lot more pressure on him—and her. He had crumpled under the possibility of being a husband. How would he respond when it came to feeling the burden of being a father?
There was a wail as Joe’s cry filled the air.
What if she was making a huge mistake? This telling him about Joe and bringing him here without their thinking about all the potential consequences for both of them... All of it... She should have stayed silent, stayed home, stayed in the shadows.
Why did doing the right thing have to feel so wrong? It would have been so much easier to just let things remain as they had been, her blaming him for leaving her and their son, and then resenting him for the mistakes he hadn’t known he had made.
Then again, telling him wasn’t entirely about him.
She would be lying if she tried to say that it was all about Joe, either.
This was all too much about her and her needs, both personal and professional.
She needed answers for work and she needed to get the cloud of secrets out of her head. Now that the truth of Joe was out in the open, she didn’t have to be caught up in the whirlwind of questions anymore. Now they could deal with the hurricane as it came.
Joe’s crying intensified and, shaking the bottle, she walked out to the living room. “You want to feed him? I bet he is just hungry.” Mike looked even more upset than Joe did, even with his little chubby red cheeks and tears. In fact, Mike’s face was so pinched and tense that it made her wonder if he had somehow hurt himself in the few moments she had been in the kitchen.
“Are you okay?” she asked, not waiting for him to answer.
“I’m fine. Just hand me that bottle,” he said, shoving out his hand like the bottle was the pin that could be put back into the grenade.
She bit back a chuckle as she gave him the bottle.
When Mike stuck it in Joe’s mouth, the baby started to suckle so hard that there were audible gulps as he swallowed the milk. Though she was aware such a greedy feeding would lead to a gassy tummy, she still loved that sound. It was as if it thrummed some primal motherly chord, the music of fulfilling her baby’s needs and helping him to grow. The timbre of success and pride. Making it even better was that it was coming from her baby in his father’s arms.
Their family was whole. Their village was strong.
Instinct screamed that this, this was what Joe needed.
And yet, logically, that wasn’t true. They had been doing fine on their own. She was a strong, independent woman.
She readjusted her footing, straightening her back with pride and consternation.
Mike loved this baby, but if he walked out and left them, she would be fine. They would be fine. The world would keep on going with or without him.
“Here, why don’t you let me take him?” she asked, moving to take the baby.
“No, I got him. Really,” Mike said, moving Joe away from her.
She had to check the anger that boiled up within her. Maybe she was being irrational and thinking too much; getting upset with him for this simple action would only lead to a fight. That wasn’t what any of them needed. Not now, not ever. At least, not really.
What she needed was an ally, a friend, and a father. He could be all of those things; she would just need to check herself and allow him to be them.
This was going to be so much harder than she had ever imagined.
She dropped her arms to her sides.
Let him do this, she thought. Let him be Joe’s father.
There was no going back on the choices either one of them had made; he had chosen to leave and she had chosen to bring him back into their lives. The only option was for them to move forward together in whatever way they needed to be for Joe to have the support systems and family that would bring him comfort and success as he grew up.
Joe needed this.
And truth be told, so did she. She needed them to be a family.
CHAPTER FIVE
Joe was nestled into the car seat in the back as they drove to Summer’s apartment. The only sound was of the road and the occasional happy squeaks of the baby playing. Mike could get used to that.
“If you want, I can put you up in a hotel. We could both stay there.” Summer shifted unco
mfortably in her seat as she drove.
“You don’t want me at your place?”
“Well... It’s not that, it’s just...well, it’s not exactly put together right now.” She sounded nervous, but he couldn’t tell if it was because they were going to be staying another night so close to one another or if it was actually because of the state of her place.
“You know I’ve spent more than my fair share of nights in Connexes with dozens of other dudes. My standards for sleep and comfort are pretty low.”
She laughed, releasing some of the tension. “You have me there.”
“Besides,” he continued, “I have no room to judge you for your accommodations. I’m the one holing up in my company’s ranch. I don’t even have an apartment to call my own.”
“You were never one to be strapped down.”
There was a needle in her voice and it made him wonder if she had meant for it to be there or if it had just been a convenient jab, one she couldn’t miss the chance for taking.
“You know my world. Any day could be my last.”
“Mmm-hmm,” she said, a dark expression settling on her face like a shadow. “I always hated when you talked like that.”
If he wasn’t careful, this could lead to an argument. They had been down this road so many times. Yet he couldn’t just let her comment go without some sort of response. If he did, she would get to the fight all by herself, anyway.
“You know how it can be.” He paused. “Luckily, this new job with STEALTH has me mostly working in the States. For now, at the very least.” Though he had meant it to assuage some of the anger and perhaps trepidation she was feeling, the look on her face didn’t change. Her eyes were still dark and solidly focused on the road.
She was definitely gearing up for combat. He couldn’t let things go in that direction.
“I think it’s great that you are working with STRIKE. I’ve heard good things.”
She chuffed, but that look disappeared. It was replaced by something more stoic, less readable. “They are a good company. They have good goals at heart, but I’m sure things are a bit different than they are at STEALTH. STRIKE was very much about the bottom line.”
“It sounds like there is something there, something you are resenting.”
She jerked, looking over at him. Clearly, he’d struck a nerve.
“That’s not what I was saying at all. I’m just saying they aren’t a family-run company. STRIKE is all about measurable and marketable achievement.”
“And they have you feeling pressured?” he pressed.
Her hands tightened on the steering wheel and her jaw clenched. “If you don’t want to tell me anything about Rockwood, that’s fine. But I’m not going to sit here and allow you to grill me.”
Yep, she was definitely looking for a fight. But why? What was she hiding? What was she hoping to get him to do for her?
“Look, Summer, I don’t want to argue with you. I want us to get along, especially now that Joe is in the picture,” he said, glancing back at the baby, though all he could see was the back of the car seat.
She sucked in a long breath. “I wasn’t looking for a fight.”
“You and I both know how the other communicates, we’ve been together way too long to try to lie to one another. I mean, we were together.” He cleared his throat, wishing he hadn’t made the stupid misstep. “Something is wrong, and when there was something wrong, you always took it out on me. You made me jump through hoops in an attempt to break down your walls before you could just open up and tell me what it was that was bothering you in the first place. We’ve played this game a thousand times.”
“Are you implying that I’m trying to manipulate you?” she countered.
He had to hold back the urge to roll his eyes. “That’s not what I’m saying at all. I think you have just learned a way, albeit an unhealthy one, to get a man—me—to get you to open up. You obviously had to get to this point for a reason. Maybe it was my fault, or maybe it was something left over from something else in your life. All I’m saying is that I wish we could just openly talk to each other without fighting. It would save time and a whole hell of a lot of unnecessarily hurt feelings.”
Her jaw clenched even tighter.
Sometimes he really needed to learn when to shut the hell up. “Don’t be offended. That’s not what I’m going for here, I just...”
What in the hell am I trying to say? Damn it. This was going so wrong.
“I just want to help you,” he sighed.
“Mmm-hmm,” she grumbled.
Say something. Give me a clue that I’m forgiven. That I wasn’t wrong in saying what needed to be said, even if it sucked. It sucked for both of us. Tell me there is hope...hope for a friendship. I—no, we—need each other more than ever.
She pulled her car to a stop in front of an apartment complex. It was three floors, and people were coming and going around them. As he moved to unbuckle, she stopped him with the touch of her hand to his chest. “Wait.” She stared out the window to her left. “Damn it.”
“What? What’s wrong?”
“Er,” she said, biting her cheek, “my ex is here.”
“Here? As in the parking lot? In the building? In your apartment? Explain.” His fingers twitched toward the Glock always tucked into his waistband.
“Whoa there, Quick Draw McGraw, I said it was my ex, not the lead terrorist on an international watch list.” She sent him a sexy half smile, one that had the power to make him almost forget his damned name.
Ex, terrorist, what difference was there when it came to people screwing with his personal life? He should have assumed she’d dated, but somehow, especially after learning about Joe, he’d figured she’d been alone. That was crazy, though. She was a beautiful, smart woman. Even if she’d not been interested in being a fish in the dating sea, some eager man would have tried to reel her in.
He had so many questions about the man, but he barely knew where or how to start asking about everything he wanted to know. So he went with the most obvious. “Are you guys still seeing one another? You know, late-night hookups or whatever?”
“No.” She laughed, the sound high and scoffing. “Besides, would you really want to know?”
So he was yet to be forgiven for his saying the truth. Some things between them would never change. As it was, there was no chance they were ever going to be anything other than two single parents working to raise one single child.
How had his life gotten so screwed up in just a matter of hours?
“His name is Ben.” She paused, waiting to be barraged by questions.
Mike remained silent out of fear that whatever he said would later be used against him in the Summer Daniels court. He had never liked a single dude named Ben, and apparently that trend wasn’t going to come to an end anytime soon.
“He says he’s an engineer for a petroleum company out of the North Dakota oil fields.”
So, this Ben was rich, probably hot, and probably a total ass.
Then again, what should it have mattered to him? So what if she had moved on and started dating again? Just because Mike hadn’t, it didn’t mean that she would follow the same trajectory. Besides, it wasn’t like they would be getting back together. He and Summer could barely have a civil conversation, let alone attempt to build a future together.
“If you guys aren’t still hooking up, why would your ex be here unannounced?”
She chewed at the inside of her cheek. “He isn’t exactly a nice guy. I thought he was great at first, he was so helpful and kind about Joe, and then... I don’t know. Something shifted and he became this possessive man-demon. I made him leave.”
“Is he harassing you?”
She sighed. “I wouldn’t call it harassment exactly. He is definitely not taking the breakup well, and he doesn’t want to let things go between us, but he us
ually respects my boundaries. And then sometimes he just shows up like this. Usually, he is making some kind of grand gesture in hopes that I will take him back.”
“Then that is not him respecting your boundaries. If anything, it’s him pressing against them and hoping you will relent, loosen up what lines you’ve drawn with him. He is trying to wear you down.”
She rolled her eyes, the motion somewhat juvenile and in direct contrast to the woman he knew. That meant one thing: she knew he was right and didn’t want to admit it aloud in front of him. Of course she was smart enough to know exactly what was happening in her personal life, even if she didn’t want to face the truth.
“No matter what Ben thinks, he is not going to be allowed back into my life. At least, not in any kind of meaningful way.” She paused. “And you’re wrong. I don’t think he wants me back, well, at least not just me. I think he liked the little family unit we had going for a while. He loved Joe and the patriarchal role he got to have in our lives.”
Though Mike knew it wasn’t her intention to stab him square in his heart, her words still landed a blow. Here was a man, Ben, who was fighting to have what Mike himself should have been fighting for...what he was trying to fight for.
But which battle was harder—the one to garner a place in Joe’s and Summer’s lives, or the one in his heart?
All he wanted to do right now was to get Ben out of the picture. If that meant him charging over to Ben’s car and giving him a piece of his mind, and likely a quick kick to the ass, so be it. As long as it meant he was out of his way. There were a lot of battles he could fight, some of which he could win, but he didn’t think he could also take on this fight and come out of this looking like a superhero.
He’d have to be careful. He didn’t want to step on Summer’s toes, but at the same time he wanted her to know he would do whatever it took to make her happy.
“If you want, I’d be more than willing to have a chat with him. I could make it clear to him that you no longer want him showing up at your place.”
She sent him a look that made Mike question the validity of his offer. Maybe he’d already overstepped his bounds when it came to the other dude. He was never going to get anything right when it came to Summer.
Harlequin Intrigue March 2021--Box Set 2 of 2 Page 21
