The line goes dead and I take off running through the abandoned house that belongs to me, leaving everything from earlier tonight to burn in the furnace. I'll check it in the morning and disperse the remains. I pass the plastic-covered couch, stopping just long enough to reach back for the gray sweatpants that are lying on the back of it, and temporarily setting down my phone and flashlight. I step in and feed my legs through each leg hole until I can see my feet again, almost losing my balance. When my feet are firmly on the floor, I grab the waistband and pull them up my body, working them over my briefs quickly, before snatching up my things and taking off toward the garage again.
I lock the door to the house and shine the flashlight into the locked SUV, making sure nothing odd remains inside. It's clear, just as it should be. I'm starting to panic, and with that comes the possibility of making mistakes. I close my eyes and pause, before opening them again. I walk to the back of the SUV and quickly remove the license plate, before tossing it in the bin with the others, out of sight for someone that walks in, in the rare occurrence they actually could.
I shine the light around this half of the small two-car garage: door rolled down and locked, car locked, and house locked, everything burning and almost gone. Fuck, is that it? My phone lights up in my hand, signaling a text coming through. I look down at it.
Chevy: Where are you? I think she's in shock. I can't get her to talk to me. You need to get here. I don't know what the fuck happened to her and I don't have a key to your house.
Something comes over me. I can't even fucking think straight. A million different thoughts are plaguing my mind with no idea what is going on. All I know is that when Chevy says there is a problem he means it. The dude is a veteran of warfare. He's probably seen more shit than most care to think about.
I run around the front of the SUV, toward the old green Toyota Tacoma I paid cash for to come and go from less than ideal places such as this one. I roll up the garage door and get inside the truck, instantly shoving my left foot down on the clutch to crank it. It's going to take me ten minutes just to get to the main road and another fifteen to get there. Dammit!
I shift into reverse and back out until I'm far enough out that I can close the door. I bump it into neutral and pull the emergency break, before jumping out of the truck to shut the garage door and replace the pad lock, keeping everything locked inside. It feels like I'm stuck in time, barely moving, just as it did the night I got the call about Dad. No matter how fast I move I feel like I'm walking in quick sand, using all my energy to pull free, yet getting nowhere.
Hopping into the truck, I throw it into first and pull out. I still have to open and close the gate at the end of the driveway. A ball of nerves is sitting in my stomach, firing off in all directions. I have a gut feeling shit is about to hit the fan and someone is about to get hurt. My inklings are never wrong.
The gate comes into view faster than I thought. Either my head is really fucked up right now or I'm flying, but both could be the case. Getting out, I work to quickly unlock the chain so I can open the gate, then pull the truck through and lock it back.
As I get in the truck I pick up my phone and text Chevy back, letting him know I'm on my way. There is only one thing standing between me and her, and that's this fucking distance. It's time to see what this truck can do...
Fifteen minutes and I'm pulling into my drive. I've been hauling ass the entire way, and trying my damnedest not to hydroplane. Just like going through a curtain, about five minutes after I pulled onto the main road it started pouring, heavy enough I could barely able to see out the windshield, even with the wipers on the fastest setting.
I punch the clutch and brake, stopping on demand when I see Lux standing in her underwear in the rain, staring at my front door. What the fuck? Where is Chevy? I kill the truck in first gear and he knocks on my window, as if appearing out of nowhere.
He steps back, letting me open the door. I'm angry he's letting her stand in the pouring rain, half naked, and possibly getting sick. I leave my shoes and tee shirt in the passenger seat as I exit the truck in a hurry, slamming the door behind me. "What the fuck, Chevy? She's going to get sick like that? I can't depend on you to take better care of her than that?"
He turns, grabbing me behind the neck, forcing me to look at her. "She won't let me touch her since we arrived. I thought she was bad not speaking in the truck after thinking I was you. I figured she was just emotionally spent from whatever happened, but the second she saw your house she got out and ran into the front yard. I tried to go after her and she ran. I tried to pick her up and she fought me. I’ve tried to talk to her and she just starts crying again. She fucking snapped, dude. She's been standing there in the pouring rain since I texted you, mumbling things to herself that I can't make out, and barely moving as she just stares at your door. I think she's waiting for you to come out or some shit. I can't force her. Do you want the fucking cops out here?"
Rainwater pours down my face and chest. I let it, occasionally catching in my eyelashes. It's not a normal rain. It's as if God is so angry he's crying and this is it. There is a sudden pain in my chest as I look at her, standing there like a wet doll and making no effort to move. There is one more thing I must know. He drops his hand from my neck. "Where did you find her?"
"At her apartment, running in only her underwear with a pair of clothes, a purse, and a gun."
"What were you doing there?"
"Checking up on someone. She was freaking the fuck out, as if someone was chasing her. Look, Kaston, I don't know what the fuck happened to her, because she won't speak, but I guess I was just in the right place at the right time."
I look at him briefly. I can tell he doesn't want to answer any more questions, and I don't really want to ask, but for whatever reason he was doing there, I'm glad he was, and that's good enough for me. I'm scared to evaluate the rage that is channeling through my veins, but she fucking needs me. "Can you check into that? I think we just accepted another job. This one is pro bono. Find the mark and you can have anything you want. You have my word."
He nods. "That's not necessary. This one is on the house. You're now my brother, and family takes care of each other. I'll leave her things in your truck."
He turns and walks toward his truck, not saying another word, then does just as he said he would. His truck door shuts moments later and he pulls out, leaving just the two of us. I start walking toward her. She still hasn't turned around. A clap of thunder sounds and she jumps as if she's been struck by lightening. My pace changes from a walk to a run until I'm standing in front of her, grabbing her face in my hands. Her lips are quivering, her blue eyes staring off with no personality, and dull, as if she's just a human shell. They don't have that sparkle to them that she normally has, something I've noticed often and have come to love about her. I've seen a lot of bad shit, but this has to be the worst, and I had to lay my own father in the ground. "Lux, baby, come back to me. It's me; Kaston."
Nothing.
I press my lips to hers, trying to warm them, then pull back to look at her.
Still nothing.
"He touched me. He wasn't supposed to touch me. Only you," she whispers, catching me off guard.
My vision is slowly turning a shade of red. "What?"
"You won't want me anymore. He.... tainted me."
I blink repeatedly, trying to clear the anger. Her eyes are still hollow, her words robotic. "Who? Who the fuck touched you?"
Her chest starts rising and falling more quickly. "He touched her...and then he touched me. I didn't want it. I didn't want him this time. She tried to make me, again. You don't want me," she repeats again.
"Lux, talk to me. Why wouldn't I want you? Who are they?" I tilt her head back, angling her face at me. "Baby, look at me. Look at me."
"Because I'll always be a whore, just like her. She'll always sell my body to pay her debt. I'll always be...her whore."
"Jesus Christ." My heart stops beating. I close my eyes. "Calm me before I have more soul
s on my resume."
I open my eyes, still holding her face in my hands. "I will always want you, because I sort of fell in love with you," I whisper, admitting it more to myself than her.
Her pupils change and then her eyes gloss over. You can't tell it's a tear from the rain, but I know it is. "You're not supposed to love me."
"It's too late, because I already do."
"It'll change. There is too much you don't know about me. You aren't going to want me anymore, Kaston. I'm too fucked up. It's why I never get this involved with someone." She pauses, taking a breath. "You can't love me, because I can't love you back."
My hands glide down her body, stopping on her ass, before picking her up. She wraps her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck, looking down at me. I move one hand to the back of her head. "Lux, it doesn't matter what you tell me about your past, because it won't make my feelings for you go away. On the contrary, it will probably make them stronger, and besides that, I doubt most of it was even your fault. I wasn't out searching for something, searching for this, but it still found me. You found me. I haven't been able to shake it since. Nothing ever happens randomly. I'm not the guy that will tell you I love you a million times a day just because I figured out that I do, and you're the kind of girl that doesn't want that kind of guy. I may have figured it out earlier than you, but in time you will, and that will make it more believable than being forced. Nothing changes. We're still the same two fucked up people. I wasn't planning on even saying anything because you aren't ready to hear it, but I'll be damned if I let you walk away from this because of the shit someone else has put in your head."
I pull her head down and press her forehead to mine. "We will still talk about what happened tonight when you calm down. You won't leave out a single detail, no matter what you think it may change. Nothing will alter my perception of you, but I will fucking protect you. No one touches or takes something from me and gets away with it. I’ve already proven it before."
Thunder sounds again, reminding me that we're standing in the fucking rain. "Let's go inside," I say, turning us toward the door to carry her inside. "You shouldn't be out here like this." She straightens in my grasp, knocking my hand from the back of her head to the middle of her back.
"Wait."
I stop. "What?"
She crosses her arms between us, grabbing the sides of her bra, and then pulls it over her head, removing it and tossing it in the grass. I look down at her beautiful tits before looking back at her, my dick quickly hardening. There's something about the way she looks right now that completely stuns me: her body wet and almost completely bare in my arms, her hair curling and soaked from the rain, her makeup smudged from all the moisture, and her emotions completely laid bare when normally she fights so fucking hard to keep them at bay. Her big, blue eyes, one of the things that hooked me, makes it hard to focus when she stares at me like she's doing right now. "When we go inside I want you to take away the memories..."
"Okay."
She smiles, a real smile, and it's now that I know she's completely back, relieving me. "But first there's something I want to try, and I want to try it with you."
I smile back, remembering the almost identical phrase that I used when I first fucked her without a rubber. "Anything you want, beautiful."
She places her arms back around my neck, rubbing her fingertips where hair was until recently. "Kiss me in the rain."
Her request catches me off guard, something out of the ordinary with her. It's not sexual, it's not offensive, and it's not anything I would have expected. "You've never been kissed in the rain?"
"I've never wanted to be, until now."
That pain in my chest returns, but duller this time. She's breaking down my walls, weakening the muscle that's always been so strong. I promised myself when he died that I would stay away from this, since I didn't find it before, because I can't give up the part of my life that makes it unfair to her if I ever get caught, just as he couldn't, leaving the life he knew behind. I'm submerging her in my world of darkness; somewhere I would have never expected this to happen, when what she really needs is light, and I'm making her a part of something she doesn't deserve, but the conscience that most people have, I don't.
The thought of letting her go hurts far worse than the repercussions of playing God, even though I want him on my side. No matter what I have to do or how bad I am for her, I still find myself wanting to be everything she wants and needs. I want to be her first when she asks, I want to make her dreams come true, and I want to be the one that is standing in front of her when she lets herself love someone. I'm selfish, but if being that makes her happy then I'll live with it.
"Okay, baby, I'll kiss you in the rain."
She lowers her head closer to mine, slowly brushing our lips together, but never kissing me completely. She wants me to come to her. I fall to my knees slowly, then lay her back on the grass and hold my weight off of her with one hand flat on the ground, the other still cupped around her neck, trying to shield her from the rain. She shivers. "Are you sure you don't want to go inside?"
She nods, pulling my hips toward her with her feet still linked behind my back. "I'm not cold."
She shivers again. I lift an eyebrow as a smirk starts to form. "Fuck, this is hard for me. Just kiss me already."
Lowering myself to my forearm, my body touches against hers. "I'm glad you're back," I say, and kiss her, just as she asked me to. Her taste is mixed with the taste of the rain, making it distinct, memorable. Her hands grip my sides and move around to the back, her palms becoming flush with my skin, pulling me closer, before descending, sliding underneath my pants and briefs, and continuing downward as far as she can reach. She then switches with her toes and moves her hands to the front as I suck the tip of her tongue, working my pants over my cock, then pushes my pants down to my thighs. I drag my lips over her chin and down her neck. Her head rolls back, giving me a better view. "You want it? Out here in the middle of my front yard? You want me to fuck you in the rain too?"
She moans as I move my hand from her neck, rubbing it down her body, and stopping between her legs, before slipping my fingers underneath her panties and then rub them through her wetness. "Yes."
My tongue slips between my lips and trails down her chest, stopping on her hard, wet nipple. I suck it into my mouth, before releasing it and looking up at her. "Why? You wouldn't rather go to my bed after the shit you've had to deal with? You deserve better than wet grass in the pouring rain."
She shakes her head. "I want you to show me that you meant everything you said earlier, without changing us. I still want to be Kaston and Lux, and Kaston and Lux would have sex on the hoods of cars, in parking lots, possibly on planes, and even under the rain. I still want to be us. Don't take that from me."
She still has her honesty in all of her vulnerability. Instead of withdrawing emotionally, she's trying to recover. The girl is a fucking fighter. Tonight she's different, yet the same. She may change tomorrow; back to the smartass girl with no filter that doesn't give a shit, but tonight she's not afraid to ask for what she wants. Tonight, she's acting like a typical girl that just wants to feel wanted, desired, sexy, and loved.
I turn my finger up to form a hook, wrapping the fabric of her underwear around it, before ripping them from her body and tossing them out like trash. Grabbing my cock, I guide it between her legs and roughly thrust inside, grab her hip, and then repeat; making sure she fucking feels me inch for inch.
She grabs my face, pulling my lips to hers, and spreads her legs wider, then squeezes her pussy around my dick. A throaty groan escapes. My thumb moves to her clit, quickly rubbing in circles to make her come before I do. Maybe it's all the events of the night, but I'm not going to last long; something I’m still getting used to.
Her back arches off the ground and she moans into my mouth, her kiss becoming needy, faster, and rougher. "Don't stop," she mumbles as her lips change position. The muscles start to contract and her hands fi
st the grass, her moans getting louder, and her eyes are rolling into the back of her head.
I grab her hands and lace them in mine, bringing them above her head as I roll completely on top of her, but still holding my weight off of her. She looks into my eyes as I release her lips and bite her bottom lip. She thrusts her pelvis upward, trying to take me deeper. I pull back and thrust harder, the head of my dick hitting against something hard inside. "Fuck, I can't hold it when you look at me like that."
She squeezes my cock again and I kiss her as I thrust inside one final time, stilling my movements as I empty my load inside of her. The head of my dick starts to get sensitive so I pull out, releasing her hands and lips to push myself off the ground. She grabs my hips, stopping me. I look down at her confused. "What's wrong?"
She blinks, clearly trying to decide whether to say what's on her mind. "Don't give up on me, okay?"
I straddle her on all fours, looking her in the eyes. "If I intended to I would have already." I kiss her nose. "Come shower with me."
I push myself off, standing to my feet. I grab my wet pants and work them up my legs to my waist, and then reach down for her hands. The corner of her bottom lip is between her teeth as she places her hands in mine. "Okay."
I pull her up a little too hard, purposefully, her body crashing into mine. "I'm not ready for you to be dry yet. I like you wet, but it's getting cold out here. I don't want you sick..."
Reaching down I grab her behind the waist and legs, cradling her in her arms. She squeals and kicks her legs back and forth as I start walking the short distance across the yard. "Because I'm nowhere close to being done with you yet."
"How could you do this to me? This could ruin everything for us. Do you want to piss him off? What are you going to do when he finds out? You can't hide this shit, Lux. He's going to be here any minute."
"Why? I thought he wasn't going to come by anymore. You said that was the last time."
She is pacing back and forth across the floor, pinching at her skin. "I just needed it, Okay? You will never understand. I just needed to forget for a little while. I thought I would have the money by now, but we had to eat. You want to eat, don't ya! Do you want us to starve?"
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