by Kimber White
“Fine,” she straightened. “Keep your little secrets. But know this, whatever you think you’re doing, you’re not helping anybody. Not him. Not you. If they find out you had anything to do with hiding that man or just any of it, you’ll be in a world of hurt, baby girl.”
“How? What would they do to me?” I challenged her.
She narrowed her eyes and leaned forward so she was right in my face. “They will cut you off. Do hear me? The medicine won’t be there anymore when I go see Bill Harvey next time. You think you’re strong, and you are. But you’re not as strong as you think. You have no idea what you’re playing with, Rowan.”
She was trembling. Fat tears spilled down her cheeks. “Aunt Grace?”
“I’ve seen things. God. You have no idea.” She ripped the locket from her neck and threw it on the table. “You want to know about them? My children? They’re dead, Rowan. I told you that, but I didn’t tell you how. You’re the lucky one. There was no medication when they were born. I had to watch them wither right in front of me. Their pain was so terrible they screamed for days. It was worse when they stopped. They died in agony. It was slow and brutal. And I will not stand by and let you go through the same thing. If you don’t get your medication, you’ll be dead within a month. I won’t be able to stop it. Don’t do that to me. Don’t make me go through that again.”
She was on the verge of hysteria. Grace’s face turned purple and a thick vein popped out in her neck. Her breathing became erratic and for a moment, I feared she might have a stroke.
“I’m sorry,” I said, rising. I meant it. I was afraid, but not for the reason she thought. I was afraid of her pain, not mine. I didn’t feel sick. I felt strong. I pulled her into an embrace and held her there until she stopped crying.
“I’m sorry.” I said it over and over until her shoulders stopped trembling. Finally, when she quieted, she pulled away and cupped my face.
“I know you are,” she said. “And so am I. I just don’t think it’ll be enough for either of us.”
It was in me to lie to her. Tell her all the things she wanted to hear. About me. About Jagger. But, I just couldn’t do it. Instead, I slowly rose and went for the door.
“Where are you going?” she whispered.
I didn’t answer. I just looked back at her and smiled. I gave the door a good yank as I pulled it shut behind me.
Eleven
Rowan
Jagger was easy to find. Too easy. I made it halfway back to the cave when I picked up his scent. He’d gone where I had wanted to go all day. He stood at the edge of the stream about a hundred yards from the cave entrance. If he insisted on being out in the open, this was as good a place as any to wait. The water masked his scent a little, but not from me. I knew in my heart he could never mask it from me again.
His back was to me, but he didn’t need his eyes to know I was there. My pulse quickened. I reached out with a preternatural sense I hadn’t known I had until I met him. I was searching for...something. A connection I knew should be there. Instead, I felt him push back. I’m not even sure he knew he was doing it. But, he slowly turned; his wolf eyes glinted and reflected the crystal waters of the stream.
“You shouldn’t be here,” I said. I meant so many things by that. He took the most obvious.
“I’m sorry. The last thing I wanted to do was bring trouble to your doorstep. Are you all right? Is your aunt all right?”
“We’re fine. It’s not the first time the patrols have come by to rattle our cage. It won’t be the last. We can handle it.”
“You don’t have to live like this,” he said. His words tumbled out, sounding almost rehearsed. Then, I realized they had been. He’d been waiting for me for a reason. “Rowan, I know a place. It’s closer than you think. There are people there who would look after you and your aunt. My people. You could get out from under the Pack.”
I lifted my skirt and stepped into the water, closing the distance between us. I was slightly uphill from him, so we met eye to eye.
“Is that how you live? Out from under the Pack?” He instantly read the sarcasm in my voice.
“Rowan.”
“Because it doesn’t seem like it. At least I more or less live my life the way I want to. I’m not hiding in caves and getting my ass kicked by shifters every other day. You’re covered in scars, Jagger. How many times has someone had to patch you up like I did?”
Something flickered behind his eyes. I’d touched a nerve. Who had patched him up before I came along? The answer drummed in my brain. He’d given it to me himself in a fevered dream. Keara. It was on my lips to ask him about her, but something made me wait.
“What did she give you? What was in those shots, Rowan? What’s wrong with you?”
The question got my back up like it always did. And yet, when Jagger asked, his tone mixed with pain and genuine concern. It came from a place of caring, not disgust. Other than Aunt Grace, no one had ever asked it of me like that.
“It’s nothing.”
“Rowan.”
“It’s nothing! I mean it, Jagger. You can’t just march into my life like this and stir everything all up. We have a balance. It’s not perfect. But it’s mine.”
“So, you like it here. You like the fact that you’ve never stepped foot outside of Heartland. How do you even know what you’re missing? What? Do you watch the world on TV or something?”
He took my breath away. Anger bubbled up and I wanted to lash out at something. My vision went blurry. For two seconds, I lost control. It seemed I wasn’t the only one who could strike a nerve.
He was on me. I hadn’t even seen him move, but Jagger held me by the elbows. He pulled me out of the stream so we stood on a flat embankment beside it. He towered over me, eyes flashing as he tried to read what was inside.
“There’s shifter in you,” he said. “I can smell it. But, that’s impossible. You’re human. I can sense that through and through. What did they do to you?”
“Nothing!” Hot tears stung my eyes as I jerked away from him. “I’m not a freak. Don’t treat me like one. I’m just me. I’m Rowan. That’s all.”
“That’s not all. Who said you needed to take those shots? Your aunt? Does she get them from him? Rowan...if you knew what I know. The things he’s tried to do to human women. Whatever they’re giving you, it’s not for your benefit. I’m sure of it. Let me help you.”
“Why? Why on earth would you want to help me?” I knew the answer. Why didn’t he? Once again, I felt a wall of darkness rising up around him. There was a reason I couldn’t get in his head like the rest of the patrols. Alpha. The word tumbled over and over in my head. It held the answers. It held power.
I couldn’t get to Jagger the way I could the other shifters because he wasn’t like the other shifters. He was raw power, strength, danger. And yet, his touch seared straight to my heart. I craved it. His nature called to mine even though I didn’t fully understand what mine held.
“We have a doctor,” he said. “A shifter doctor. A human one too. Let me take you to them. They can help you. I know they can. I’m asking you to trust me.”
“Oh, I’ve been to plenty of doctors.”
“Who? Valent’s doctors? You’re lucky you’re not already dead.”
Aunt Grace’s words thundered through me. If I didn’t have my medication, I’d die just like her children had. Her terror seeped into me. She believed it. She’d seen it.
“If you help me,” Jagger said, “I swear to you, Rowan. I’ll get you out of here. I’ll get you to people who can make you better.”
“Better? I told you. There’s nothing wrong with me.”
“I’m sorry. Not better. But, if you need something medically, I’d rather have you get it from real doctors with your best interests at heart. Not Valent. God. It makes me sick thinking about what he could be pumping into you. I’d almost bet my life he’s making you sick, not treating you. You’re too close to this. You have no idea what he’s capable of.”
They were the same words Aunt Grace had uttered.
“Rowan, help me.” He shook me gently.
“I don’t owe you anything,” I said. “It’s the other way around in case you forgot. I told you I can handle the Pack. I can. But not if you keep stirring things up.”
Again, my words held more than one meaning. Why didn’t he feel what I felt? We stood there in a stalemate, staring into each other’s eyes. Each of us wondering what the hell was wrong with the other.
Finally, I couldn’t stand it another second. I forced the issue. I took Jagger’s hand and pressed it between my breasts. I took my other hand and pressed it over his heart. One heartbeat. Two. My pulse slowed at first, his quickened. Then, slowly, our hearts beat in time.
Jagger’s eyes widened at first with shock. His lips curled back and a growl came from the deepest part of him. Feral. Unbidden.
I had been wrong about everything. My power didn’t work on Jagger like the other shifters. It affected him much, much deeper.
Heat unspooled in me, settling low in my core. Desire flooded my senses and it got hard to breathe.
“Jagger!” I said, raw and breathless.
I was spinning. Lust. Confusion. Fear. It snaked around me and pulled me down. It was as if true north altered for me in the space of a moment. I’d long suspected what we were to each other, but until that instant, I hadn’t been sure.
Jagger wasn’t just a shifter. He wasn’t just an Alpha, though that alone made him special. There was nothing wrong with me. Whatever was different just fell away. As my heart beat in time with Jagger’s for the first time in my life I knew one true thing.
He was mine.
Jagger moved first. He pulled his hand away from my heart and cupped my face. I grabbed his wrists. His eyes searched mine. Pain etched deep lines in his face.
“Rowan,” he whispered my name as both a question and an answer.
Then, he kissed me. There was passion in it, but pain and grief too. His. Mine. I was drowning and he became my lifeline.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I could only receive him as our lips pressed together. A kaleidoscope of colors spun behind my eyes.
Mine. Mine. Mine.
The world stopped spinning and Jagger pulled away. He let out a choked sound and put the back of his hand to his lips, not wanting to feel what I knew burned through him.
I stayed stock still. His pain uncoiled inside me. It was deep. Absolute. Dark. More than anything, I wanted to touch him and bring him back to the light.
“No!” he said.
“Jagger!”
He held a hand up. “No.” Shaking his head, he took a series of faltering steps backward.
“Jagger, wait…”
It was too late. He let out a howl that echoed through the trees. He dropped to his knees and shifted in one powerful, magic-filled instant.
His wolf stood tall, majestic, his silvery fur glistening under the setting sun. Then, he turned and disappeared into the woods.
Twelve
Jagger
Days bled together. I lost time again. I welcomed it. For the first time in two years...how many days? Oh, God. I couldn’t remember.
A trick. It had to be a trick. And I’d been so stupid to fall for it. I’d been so worried about closing my mind to the Pull of the Pack, I hadn’t thought Able would try anything else. Nowhere was safe. Not Mammoth Forest. Not Rowan’s cave. Nowhere. I knew I should go back. Leave this place forever. But, I couldn’t. She tethered me to it. Rowan. Keara. God help me, I couldn’t sort any of it out anymore. As I woke from my stupor, I did the only thing that felt natural. I ran.
In my wolf, I covered the ground at lightning speed. Hunt. Kill. Live. God, it would be so easy to stay this way. Forget the man. There was too much pain in the man. Let the beast free and put it all behind.
I skidded to a halt, my chest heaving. Fangs dripping with the need to hunt, I dropped low to the ground. I’d run downstream, far enough and fast enough so I couldn’t hear the second pulse thrumming through me. Keara’s pulse. It was the thing I’d longed for all this time.
But, it wasn’t Keara. It was Rowan. Her scent covered me, drawing me in. I charged into the stream, covering my fur with rich, red mud. It would mask my own scent against anything but the keenest of Alpha wolves. There were none of them here. There was only me.
Me and him.
I’d been concerned only with putting distance between Rowan and me, I hadn’t paid attention to the direction I was going. Nearby voices made my fur stand on end along my spine.
“You do the east quadrant,” a deep, male voice said. I didn’t recognize it. It wasn’t Geordie or any of the others I’d encountered. “I’ll stay west.”
“Sure thing,” his companion answered. Peeking through the underbrush, I could see it was just the two of them. Beta wolves, to be sure. One was tall and lanky, barely more than a boy. He’d probably just been recruited. They would train him, use him up, wipe away any trace he had of the man he would have become. The other was shorter, but thicker, sturdier. He looked closer to my age with lines of wisdom creasing his eyes.
“You know I feel it,” the older shifter said.
“I don’t feel anything, Bruce,” the younger one said. “I think maybe Geordie and the boys chased him off. I’ll tell you though, I’d like to get my hands on him, whoever he was. I’d rip his damn throat out.”
Tough talk. I’d like to see you try. Bloodlust coursed through me. It felt so much better than what I’d been feeling. I’d kill him quick. One swipe of the paw would bring him down. I’d go for his jugular in a split second. He’d be dead before he hit the ground. If I got him alone, he wouldn’t even see me coming.
Bruce and the young kid split up. When they got a good twenty yards from each other, they shifted into their wolves. God. The kid was skinny, gangly. His ribs poked out beneath dull, brown fur. A shudder ran through me. I’d seen his kind so many times before. The Alpha’s tampering with the Pack’s mating had produced weaker wolves each generation.
I grew bolder, sliding out from the underbrush. I crept closer to the fence. My predatory instincts tingled through me. If it was just the two guards tonight, God help them if either of them challenged me.
Then, my heart seized in my chest.
A pair of golden eyes flashed on the other side of the fence. He was turned slightly away from me. He stood on the edge of the porch, looking out at the yard. He raised a white mug to his lips, his fingers gnarled and withered.
Able. My God. It was Able Valent, and he appeared to be alone.
A red haze clouded my vision. In my wolf, I could tear through the fence. It was electrified, but that wouldn’t stop me. It might slow me down for a second, but that was all.
They’d come after me. I knew I wouldn’t make it within five feet of Valent before he called the Pack down. But, I could do it. He was old. Weak. Even from here, I could feel his strength waning. His strength was in his control of the Pack, not his physical body.
Hunt. Kill. Live.
I knew I might never get another chance. Luck drew me here along with a mix of stupidity and blind rage.
Come closer!
The voice in my head knocked me sideways. Able took another casual sip of his drink. He didn’t turn to face me. No outward change in his posture indicated he even saw me. But, he knew I was there.
I snarled. So close. So easy. I could let go. I could give in to the power and end all of my pain forever. It would be worth it. Keara was worth dying for. The Mammoth Forest wolves were worth dying for. Payne would be free. So would Mac, Gunnar and Liam. Baby Daniel would be safe. No more being hunted. No more hiding underground.
Pressure built between my eyes. He called me to him. At the edges of my consciousness, I felt the rest of them. Able had them on alert. He hadn’t called them in. But, they were there. Hundreds of them. With creeping dread, I sensed the rest of the Pack. He kept only a dozen or so on the prison property. I felt the two I’
d just seen. There were two others patrolling about a mile further out. Geordie and the one he called Dugger. Beyond that, deeper into Heartland and the surrounding towns, I felt them all.
Able let me in far enough to see it all.
I’m faster than all of them, old man. They’ll never get to you in time to make a difference.
Able still didn’t turn toward me. He laughed though, setting his mug on the windowsill.
One shot. I could kill him. My fangs would sink through his old flesh like butter and I could end it for him and for me.
I crept closer, keeping my belly flat to the ground. A primal growl emanated from me. I reared back, ready to strike and tear my way through the fence separating us.
Able Valent opened his mind to me. I meant to give him a quick death. End it. He didn’t want the same for me. He wanted me alive. I felt his plan to try and turn me. Pain. Torture. The man inside me laughed. Valent didn’t understand. I’d already been through more pain and torture than he could ever imagine.
Sparks flew. Ribbons of agony slashed through me as the electricity arced straight into my chest. But, the fence crumpled like paper.
Able finally turned to face me. A flicker of fear came into his eyes. They went from gold to deep red as he prepared to call the Pack.
Twenty yards. Maybe thirty. That’s all that separated us. One more step and I’d be inside the prison grounds. I could feel the Pack rising. But, they’d never be fast enough. Able Valent had made one critical error. He thought I cared if I lived.
As I took one step closer, he saw his mistake. He put his hand up and took a step back. “Now!” he yelled, his voice dusty and ancient.
I reared back on my haunches, ready to pounce. Then, pain shot through me with a fiery intensity that put the electrical fence to shame.
When I blinked, I saw her eyes. They were wide with terror and glowing silver. Blood flowed from a wound in her shoulder, but it was only the first.
Rowan.
I saw through her eyes as two wolves, Geordie and Dugger, descended on her. She scrambled backward, losing her footing on the wet earth beside the stream.
