by T. J. Klune
“Your cockiness will be your undoing,” she said. “The power you wield will not protect you from everything.”
“It’s a start,” I retorted. “And I’ll figure out the rest. I mean it, Vadoma. Back. Off.”
I turned and walked away without looking back.
I was glad she wasn’t able to hear the racing of my heart.
I HATED to admit that, above all else, Vadoma had made a good point. It was easier being in Mashallaha when the people there weren’t being racist fucktards. It didn’t exactly endear them to me to see how fickle they could be with their affections. That night, as the celebration went on, it was like their previous actions had never happened. They smiled at me. They laughed around me. Men and women grabbed me by the hand and pulled me out to dance, spinning around and around as dresses and feet were kicked up. I had garlands of flowers placed around my neck, beads tied into my hair. They treated me as if I was one of them, as if I belonged.
If this had happened at the beginning, maybe things would have been different. But they hadn’t, and I saw through it for what it was: a farce.
Kevin was revered as he always was, regaling the crowd around him with stories that were expectedly untrue, not that anyone else knew.
Gary and Tiggy were given the same welcome I was. Tiggy was pleased, and Gary acted like he was too, but I could see the tightness around his eyes, the calculating look on his face when he thought no one was looking. He didn’t trust them in the slightest. After a while, I saw Gary lean over and whisper something into Tiggy’s ear that caused him to frown at the people around him, not that they noticed.
Ryan was ignored as if he didn’t exist. He was amused by it.
“You just think it’s funny because you’re the other woman,” I accused him as yet another new adoring fan of mine skipped away after not having even acknowledged Ryan sitting next to me.
“Wow,” he said. “That’s the first time I’ve ever been accused of that.”
I scowled at him. “If the high heel fits, you interloper.”
“Not one of my kinks,” he said easily. “Though I won’t tell you no if you want to try it.”
“That’s not… what are you even… holy gods, really? I mean, I don’t think I would like that, but what do I know? If you’d told me a few years ago I’d get off on fucking your mouth and coming on your face while I pulled your hair, I would have—scratch that. I would have believed that in a heartbeat. Holy shit, that’s super fucking hot. You know it’s—heeey, little girl who has apparently been standing in front of me long enough to hear me say something no little girl should ever have to hear. You look… pretty.”
The little girl burst into tears and ran in the opposite direction.
“Don’t do drugs!” I called after her. Ryan was laughing hysterically beside me, hunched over, arms wrapped around himself. It pissed me off, but it also made my heart thump a bit in my chest that, after all the crap we’d been through, he could still laugh so freely and openly. It really was beautiful to see and hear. I also wanted to fuck him stupid right about now.
“Oh,” he said, still chuckling. “You’ve got that look on your face.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said as I drooled a little bit. I wiped my mouth, feeling absolutely no shame. “So, come here often?”
He rolled his eyes. “Not really.”
“Would you like to?” I waggled my eyebrows at him.
His smile softened. “You’re ridiculous.”
“It is part of my charm,” I agreed. “Now, what say you and I get out of here and maybe I’ll fuck your orifices a little bit.”
“With an offer like that, I don’t know how I can refuse.”
“You seemed like a sure bet,” I said, leaning in to kiss him. My skin felt hot, and I wanted to grab hold of him and never let go.
“Smooth talker,” he said, and I could feel his breath on my face.
“I’m gonna do so many things to you in like three minutes,” I growled and closed the distance to—
“Sorry to interrupt.”
I groaned as I missed Ryan’s lips and ended up sucking on his nose a little bit. Not the smoothest I’d ever been, but it was all Ruv’s fault for even coming over to us when we were obviously about to bone.
Ryan grimaced as he pushed me off him, wiping his face. “That was unpleasant.”
“It wasn’t my fault,” I said, looking up to glare at Ruv. He stood a little distance away, hands clasped behind him, looking amused. “Someone doesn’t know what it means when I’m giving off my I’m about to get laid vibes. Not cool, dude. You fucking cock blocker.”
“My apologies,” he said, though he didn’t sound sorry at all. “I was hoping to have a word with you before you became… otherwise engaged.”
“That means the sex,” I whispered to Ryan.
“I know what it means,” he said, shoving my face away. “You dork.”
“Just making sure. Sometimes, things get lost in translation.”
“You’re not translating anything.”
I shrugged. “Same difference. Wait, what were we talking about now? Because my erection is getting really uncomfortable.”
“I did that,” Ryan said to Ruv, sounding smug.
“Congratulations,” Ruv said slowly. “You must be so proud. A word, Sam. If you don’t mind.” He glanced at Ryan, then looked back at me. “Alone.”
“Anything you can say to me, you can say in front of Ryan,” I said. “I’ll just tell him later anyway.”
“Yes, I suppose you will. But I’d prefer not to get stabbed.”
“Stabbed? What the hell are you—Ryan, put your sword away.”
“What? I’m just holding it.”
“And posing.”
“It’s not posing. It’s the proper at-the-ready position.”
“You just flipped your hair.”
“It was in my eye.”
“You just flourished your sword.”
“It was slipping from my grasp due to the desert heat, and I wanted to make sure I had a good grip on it.”
“You’re flexing.”
“I am? Oh, I didn’t even notice. But thank you for pointing that out. I do look rather vascular today, don’t you think?”
He really, really did. “You’re not going to even be able to walk by the time I’m done with you. I’m going to fuck you so full of my—little girl, why do you always come at the worst possible times?”
She burst into tears again and ran away, dropping a garland of flowers.
I almost felt bad but then realized that little girls have the worst timing ever, so I couldn’t be blamed. Plus, I figured it was probably better she learned now that boys were gross rather than later. When she got older, I bet she’d think twice before she did something untoward. I had done my duty in protecting the children of Verania.
“You’re not going to go away, are you?” I said to Ruv, resigned.
“If you’re leaving tomorrow, it’s best if we talk now,” he said.
“Babe, can you give us a minute?”
“I’m not going to stab him!”
“Babe.”
“Okay, maybe just a little.”
“You can’t stab someone just a little bit.”
“Watch me,” he said, teeth bared.
“Just… give us a minute.”
He groaned. “Fine.” He sheathed his sword and shot a glare in my direction before he turned back to Ruv. He took a couple of steps until he was standing right in front of him, only inches separating them. My lizard brain screamed at them to just kiss, but then I realized my dirty little lizard brain was an asshole, and that I’d probably end up punching Ruv in the kidney, so I kept my mouth shut.
Ryan was intimidating as all fuck. He was a big guy, with muscles and scruff and the ability to have a wicked snarl on his face that usually scared the shit out of most people.
The problem was Ruv wasn’t most people. In fact, he looked bemused at the posturing
before him, like he was dealing with an irate puppy. Ruv obviously wasn’t as smart as I’d given him credit for. Or maybe Ryan wasn’t as daunting as I thought he was. Since one of those things threatened to change my view of the world, I decided that Ruv just had a death wish.
“I’ve got my eye on you,” Ryan said in a low voice. “You even look at Sam in a way that makes him uncomfortable and I’ll come back here and shove my sword through your dick until you’re shitting it out.”
“So violent,” I whispered reverently. “I mean, it ignores how the gastrointestinal system works, but wow. Also, watch your fucking mouth. There are children present.”
“I give you my word that nothing untoward will happen to Sam,” Ruv said, voice even.
“Darn right, mothercracker,” Ryan said. “Ryan doesn’t want to have to come back and cut a bro.”
“Aaaand that’s enough,” I said, stepping forward and pushing Ryan out of the way. “When you start sounding like Gary, you lose all credibility. Get outta here, you meathead.”
Ryan hooked a hand around my neck and pulled me close, laying a filthy kiss upon my lips, more tongue and teeth than finesse. But it turned out that I’m totally on board with tongue and teeth and gave back just as good as I got. By the time he’d pulled away, my face felt scrubbed raw by the week-old stubble on his face, my lips tingling and warm. He looked smug as he backed away slowly, glancing at Ruv. He brought his hands up, palms toward the sky, and said, “Ryan out.” He whirled around and headed toward Kevin, who was demanding even more gold than he’d already been given.
“Stop getting advice from Gary!” I shouted after him, a little dazed. “You stupid, sexy asshole.”
“He certainly likes to prove his point,” Ruv said, once again amused. “I suppose that’s a knight, though. Blunt and forward. Lacking in finesse and subtlety.”
I stared at him. “Obviously you don’t know us at all if you think any of us is subtle. About anything.”
“Point,” he said. “Walk with me, Sam.”
“You’re not going to try and touch my junk, are you?” I asked him suspiciously. “Because Ryan will stab you.” I frowned. “Not that I need him to. I don’t need no man to take care of bidness, if you know what I mean.”
“No. I really don’t know what you mean. Does anyone?”
“Sometimes. Where are we going?”
“Just away from the noise. There’s a dock near where you’re staying that—”
“I know,” I said. “I was there before we left.”
He didn’t seem surprised. “Good. It’s not far.”
I caught Ryan’s eye as I followed Ruv through the crowd. I jerked my head, letting him know I’d be right back. He looked like he thought that was the stupidest idea he’d ever heard, but he got distracted by Kevin saying something to him. I was out of his sight before he ever turned back around.
The noise fell away behind us. The wood creaked under our feet, the water lapping against the posts. I had a tendency toward stupidity, but I kept my eyes open, taking in my surroundings, making sure this wasn’t some feeble attempt from Vadoma to trap me in Mashallaha. I didn’t think Ruv would go along with it, but I didn’t really know him. He was the Wolf of Bari Lavuta. His allegiance was to his phuro. If it was anything like my bond with the King, I couldn’t underestimate what Ruv would do on Vadoma’s behalf.
The dock was empty when we stepped onto it. It swayed gently beneath our feet, but not enough to throw me off balance. A dry wind whipped over the water, a faint mist landing on our exposed skin. The stars were bright above. I’d have to remember what they looked like out here in the middle of nowhere when I was back in the City of Lockes. I didn’t think I’d come back to Mashallaha. Vadoma wasn’t someone I needed. Ruv was a headache I didn’t want to have to worry about. When we needed Zero, we could bypass Mashallaha altogether, or I could send Kevin. Either way, I didn’t want to come back to this city. It had hurt my family too much.
Ruv sat down on the edge of the dock, feet dangling down into the water. I sat beside him, sitting far enough away that we didn’t touch. I didn’t like how my magic felt around him, like it was comfortable, like it could be something more. Apparently my magic was a bit of a slut, given how it seemed to curl around him. Ryan felt bright and electric, like lightning. Ruv was smooth and warm, a desert wind. Ryan told me it took a long time before he was able to feel what I did, and even then, it was faint. I didn’t think Ruv could feel my magic, given that I hadn’t known him for very long, but it still felt… wrong. If this is what it meant to find another cornerstone, I hoped I never had to meet another one for as long as I lived.
“She’s worried,” Ruv said, breaking the silence.
I didn’t need to ask who. “Why?”
“Because she doesn’t think you’re taking this seriously. That this is just a game to you.”
I snorted. “She doesn’t know me.”
“Does anyone?”
“Gary does. And Tiggy. Kevin. Ryan.”
“So you say. But I think sometimes you hide behind a mask, even to them.”
“Right,” I said dryly. “And this is based on…?”
He shrugged. “Observation. It’s what I do. I watch. Your sass and snark. You have magic, but you mostly use words as weapons. There is great power within you, Sam, but you choose to hide it away.”
“I’m pretty sure you were there when I destroyed all those sand mermaids,” I said. “In fact, I know you were there.”
“And it was an impressive display. But I think you’re scared to show it.”
“Great,” I said. “It’s always fun to be analyzed. Because I don’t get enough of that in my life.”
“I’m not Morgan,” he said, and for the first time, I thought I saw a little crack on the cool façade. “Or Randall. I’m not Vadoma. I’m not trying to control you.”
“Then what are you trying to do?”
He turned toward me. I didn’t move away. “I’m trying to understand my part in this. All my life, I’ve been told I would be this… this thing to you. That I would be by your side and act as your cornerstone.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “But I had nothing to do with that.”
“I know,” he said. “And I don’t blame you. But you have to understand. Where your world was changed because of a destiny of dragons, mine was changed when the path I’d been set upon ended against a wall.”
“How did she know?”
“About me being your cornerstone?”
“Being a cornerstone, yes.”
He shrugged. “She said it was part of what she’d seen. In her visions.”
“And you took her word on that?”
He smiled at me, wide and handsome. “No, Sam. I took it on faith.”
“Sometimes faith steers you wrong.”
“Maybe. But it’ll still be there when I need it. Do you have faith, Sam?”
I thought of my mother and father.
Gary and Tiggy.
Kevin.
Morgan and Randall.
The King.
Justin.
Pete, my guard.
And Ryan. Of course I thought of Ryan.
“Yes,” I said. “I have faith. And they have faith in me.”
He was close. I didn’t know when that had happened. His hand was on mine, pressed against the wood. His eyes were dark, glittering in the starlight.
“I could have faith in you,” he said.
“You shouldn’t.” My magic burned.
“I could be that for you.”
“You won’t.”
“Sam.”
“Ruv.”
“I’ll ask you once. Do you believe that I could be your cornerstone?”
I swallowed thickly. “You could have been. But you won’t ever be. Because I found the one who makes me whole. And that’s all I have ever wished for.”
He smiled sadly… and pulled away. I slipped my hand out from underneath his, thankful that he wasn’t pushing this.
“This is where our paths diverge, isn’t it?” he asked.
“I think so,” I said honestly.
He laughed. It sounded a little hollow, but I didn’t blame him. If anything, I blamed Vadoma for filling his head with something that could never be. It was yet another life she’d interfered with, and it wasn’t fair. “For what it’s worth, Sam of Wilds, I think you aren’t what anyone expects you to be.”
I smiled at him. “Thank you, Ruv.”
He leaned forward, and for a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me. Before I could pull away, he pressed his lips to my forehead, the lightest of touches, and then he was up and walking back down the dock. His footsteps fell away until there were no sounds but the water.
I looked up toward the stars and breathed.
RYAN FOUND me a little while later. I’d been planning on using the summoning crystal to talk to Morgan, maybe even Mom and Dad, but the crystal was back in the room I shared with Ryan, and I couldn’t force myself to go up and get it. I was too tired, too angry, too worried, too… everything.
I heard someone step onto the dock behind me, felt it shift. I tensed for the briefest of moments but then settled. I knew who it was. I didn’t even need to turn around. Soon enough, I felt a hand on the back of my neck, the fingers scratching into my hair. I hummed quietly and leaned against him when he sat next to me. I laid my head on his shoulder, and he rested his atop mine.
“Okay?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah,” I said. “Just… a lot. You know. In my head.”
“Gets loud, huh.”
“A little.”
“Need anything?”
“Just you. Just… you.”
He chuckled. “That I can do.”
He gave me time to parse through my thoughts, to try and put the pieces together and to discard the ones that wouldn’t fit. He didn’t know everything, but only because I hadn’t told him. Given what Morgan had told me before we’d left Castle Lockes, I hadn’t been able to work through it all. It’d been swirling around my head, the betrayal of it all, the anger, the anguish. Coupled with the fact that I had no idea what to expect in the desert, I wasn’t sure I could have given it the time it needed.
