by Candy Nicks
"I dreamed of freedom for so long. It's good to be alive."
He sat when she pressed him down and he raised his face to the heavens, content to simply be. Touched Naima's hair, feeling the smooth braided strands, let his hand slide down to her breast. Naima settled, her body fitting to his.
If you stay. All his fears were tangled up in one little word, if. So many futures lay ahead of him; he only needed to make his choice. Happiness, here in this world, a world he'd only seen from the inside of a cage, or everlasting bliss in the next? What if the legends were true, and he wasn't free at all, only an instrument for the Goddess to use at will? When the time came, whom would she choose to sacrifice, him or Carine?
"I remember mountains, dwellings. The air is heavy with salt."
"The Great Ocean. It forms the Western boundary of the Settlement. Below us is the township and above us are the forests and high mountains.” Naima's lips touched his shoulder. “Don't tire yourself,” she whispered and urged him back until he lay flat, the sky above him.
Her hair tickled his face. Her mouth sought his. He tasted urgency in the kiss, a growing boldness when she pinned him down by his wrists and tentatively explored his mouth with her tongue. He tried to respond in kind, but the fresh air and sense of space intoxicated him faster than the strongest wine. He pushed her off as gently as his trembling body would allow.
"Do you trust me?” he said torn between a desire to continue what she'd started and wanting to test the limits of his new world.
"I'm sorry.” She moved away, out of his space. Her tone, contrite, a little embarrassed. “I..."
"Naima.” He reached out, a little bereft now she'd gone. “Can you understand that right now, I need the energy for other things? The world is calling me and I want to see it for myself. Do you trust that I'll come back?"
"You can't go. Someone will see you."
"No, they won't. Wait here for me. I will return. Tell me you believe that."
"Yes ... yes, I do. I'll be waiting for you. Please be careful."
He caught the catch of regret at having allowed this outing. To him, her emotions were an open book. She didn't have the benefit of being able to feel every breath, the subtle nuances of attitude, the shifts in their aura that allowed him to read people without the benefit of sight. Using up some of his preciously-stored energy on another heated kiss was an investment in their future. One he already believed might be possible. She appeared grateful for the reassurance.
"I'm going to change,” he said, fascinated by the vibration of his voice on her skin. “Don't be frightened."
"Into a wolf?"
Naima went from calm to terrified so fast, he had to grab her to stop her bolting. Not a surprising reaction. He steadied her and held on until she'd calmed down, laughing nervously.
"I want to see it,” she said. “Show me."
From the ridge, a lone plaintive howl echoed around the mountain. As the sound died away, Finn's wolf exploded to the surface, the sharp stab of canines bursting through tender gums, the pain a kind of ecstasy. Too-long cooped up, it exulted in its new-found freedom, pushing back the man before he could offer Naima more reassurance.
Its glowing amber eyes connected with hers, ears cocked for the call of the wild. Turning, it bounded away, each long joyful stride devouring the slope until it became lost in the exhilaration of the moment. It was the Lupine, beloved of the Goddess, and it was free.
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Chapter 8
Over a hundred transports and wagons had encamped at the required distance beyond the Settlement walls. Ancel looked well-pleased with the variety of tradesmen who'd deemed their Settlement worth the journey. In the next few weeks, a frenzy of bartering and haggling would see medicines and technology from the outside world exchanged for the Settlers’ hand-made and natural crafts much prized by the jaded City-dwellers. Glutted with wealth, they'd wrung their immediate environment dry and begun to look further afield for new tastes and adornments with which to trumpet their status.
Carine watched Ancel overseeing the setting out of the stalls, his brow furrowed with the usual worries of balancing security against having to live in this uncertain world of theirs. One day, they would be able to knock down the walls and live openly together, safe in the knowledge their neighbour wasn't about to launch an attack, or throw them into a slave-cage. Reiving of cattle and horses remained a legitimate way of enhancing stocks for some tribes.
But not here, in the new Settlement. Ancel had renounced his old ways and expected anyone joining them to follow suit. Now they survived by salting exotic fish from the Ocean, drying beef into what he laughingly called jerk-strips in honour of the fools who parted with vast sums of money for the spiced delicacy. The leather, they tooled into belts and purses, wrist-straps and pants, saddles and boots. An abundance of natural, high-quality clays had made the Settlement a focus for potters and artists who fashioned both eating vessels and ornaments of intricate patterns.
The horses, bred from Bocado's bloodline were without equal anywhere on the planet. Or so Ancel would often remind her. Carine indulged in a fond smile as she watched him oversee the hustle. Conspicuously armed, as were all the men-folk, he wore a sword sheathed at his back, a blast-gun at his hip. Beside him, Sol bore similar arms, smaller and fashioned in wood. He matched his father's footsteps, eager to learn his future role.
Carine finished setting up a wooden trestle and mentally ticked off the supplies that would adorn the planks on the morrow when the trading fair officially opened. To bring stocks out now would only invite theft. For some, the notion of trade didn't involve giving anything in return.
Her thoughts strayed to Naima. Was she safe alone with Finn? The Crystal would have spoken had there been cause for concern.
Brynn stopped to help her knock a reluctant board into place, his hand deliberately brushing hers. His appearance had complicated things between her and Ancel and between him and Song. Life wasn't always tied up in neat, easy to manage, parcels.
"Thanks,” she said, acknowledging him with a look only he knew the meaning of. “Would you finish here while I go and fetch the banners?"
"Sure,” he said hefting another board across the trestle. “Where's Naima?"
"Bundling herbs."
She caught his raised eyebrows and shrugged. “The heart goes where it will. Who are we to stop it?"
"Who are we indeed?"
The heavy irony in his tone gave her pause. “Oh Brynn,” she said and slid her arms around his back to hug him briefly. She felt him tense. Heard a low rumble of laughter.
"Any more of that, missy, and I won't be responsible."
She laughed in return, ever grateful for his loyalty. Content and slightly overawed by her abundance. Days like today, heady with energy and hope for the future made her forget the weight of her soul.
Kandar acknowledged her from the gate, his massive arms crossed, one fist bearing a mighty broad-sword. She waved him back, feeling a pang of pity for both him and Naima.
"I'm off to scout for the first of the silvergolds,” she said, pointing to the rough scrub between the walls and the open meadow beyond.
"For bridal wreaths, if I'm not mistaken. They bring prosperity and fecundity and promote—"
"Yes, exactly so.” She cut him off, sensing a lecture on flower-folklore coming on. “Tell Ancel I'll meet him by the main tent at noon if you see him."
Kandar nodded, momentarily distracted by a group of travelling players who'd broken into a noisy argument outside their tent. Carine made her way along the shadow of the wall, stooping here and there to pluck the tiny silvergold heads. They were said to ensure fidelity above all else, and no bride would think of making her vows without them. She placed them carefully in her shoulder bag, moving farther away from the bustle to scout for the distinctive yellow and grey heads. At the start of the season, few were mature enough to pick, but no self-respecting herb stall would be without them.
A clu
ster just beyond a small stand of trees caught her eye. Should she risk going so far afield without an escort? The small flowers were valuable, and every credit earned helped the Settlement move forward and thrive. Glancing around, she judged the distance and quickened her pace. Threaded on a ribbon, they'd make pretty adornments for the poles holding up the canopy of her stall.
It was her last coherent thought. A sharp pain caused her to cry out, her knees buckled and the ground rushed towards her with alarming speed. A snarl and another blinding pain. The sound of tearing cloth. A warm, sticky feeling. They were nothing more than vague sensations as she struggled to stay conscious. She thought she heard a laugh, a rasping breath.
The light faded and she fell, hurtling towards oblivion and the Pit of Eternal despair.
* * * *
The agony of waiting lasted no more than the time it would take to brew a cup of tea, yet by the time Finn reappeared, exhausted and humming with exhilaration, Naima had worried herself to the point of incoherence. Silently she wrapped her arms about his tingling body, uncaring of the blood-stained bandages he'd ripped while changing and clung on as if she never meant to let him go. Air wheezed through his lungs as his chest rose and fell, and she was ready to dismiss his earlier transformation as a figment of her over-tired mind. His eyes might be animal, but the muscle, skin and bone, the beaded hair, belonged to a man, not a beast.
"Where did you go?” Her voice trembled as much as his body. “You might have been seen."
In response he pushed her to arm's length with extraordinary strength and fixed her with a stare so intense her legs finally gave way. He dropped to the ground with her and, holding her upper arms, kissed her long and hard until the world spun away. Greedily she caught his mood and returned the kiss in kind, learning fast that all you needed to make an explosion of this force was the right chemistry.
From the moment he'd appeared, bloodied and on the verge of death, she'd seen the potential. Each time they touched, the promise intensified. Love and lust made you selfish for more. With a voracious hunger, her lips moved over his, and she took everything he had to give.
"Yes,” she said when his mouth moved down, seeking out her nipples in a series of swift, exploratory kisses. She pulled at the fastenings of her shirt, baring her breasts to him, arching her back to give him better access. The scrape of his teeth, his insistent suckling sent sparks through her belly to the place between her legs where she was softening and opening, ready to receive the thick, hard cock wedged between them. He took her hand and guided it down, urging her to touch and stroke and explore her power over him.
"Yes.” She closed her fingers around him. “I do want to be your mate, your wife.” Tugging at the fastenings of her pants with her other hand, she struggled to pull them down, over her hips. “Let's do it now,” she said. “I want to give this to you."
The words were like an icy shower dousing the inferno they'd ignited between them. With a tortured groan, Finn rolled sideways to lie panting and still-aroused beside her on the soft grass. Strands of his hair clung to her cheek and she remembered the hours she'd spent combing out the tangles and the lice rather than simply shaving it all off. Its glossy lustre was returning along with his health. The fingers resting on her thigh were soft the nails growing back. His cheeks were flushed with lust and elation rather than fever, and his cock ... Dear Gods, they were lying naked and exposed for anyone to see.
One look at Finn's burning, cat-like eyes answered her question. “You're right.” She pulled closed her shirt. “This isn't the place."
"I didn't stop for that reason.” Finn hauled himself up with a groan of pain rather than frustrated lust. Looking utterly drained, he groped around for the sheet. “I want to fuck you, Naima and, believe me, nothing would have stopped me if we'd had protection."
"Protection?” Naima closed her eyes, cheeks burning. How had she forgotten that little detail? It would be hard enough to convince her father of this match without starting the conversation with the news that she was bearing his grandchild.
"I never want children.” Finn's tone—flat, yet emphatic, invited no argument or contradiction. “This world has no place for my kind any more. I never want anyone to suffer what I have."
She helped him to wind the sheet around his body. Steered him back to the hut, grateful no one had come to check on her. Wildly frustrated, and chastened by his words, she felt as if she'd dived into the deep end of the lake without first taking the time to explore the shallows. Mechanically, she went through the process of erasing their tryst, wishing with all of her heart their feelings could finally become public knowledge. She laughed. According to Kandar, half the Settlement knew where her heart lay.
"I saw a wolf,” she said. “When you first came here, I dreamed of a baby, two men. I think you were trying to tell me your story. Will you tell me more? Do the Lupines really exist?"
Finn gave a dry laugh. “After all this time, you still doubt? No.” He touched her gently when she started to protest that she meant no offence. “It's all right. People see it with their own eyes, yet they somehow manage to convince themselves it was a trick. Anything rather than acknowledge that a man can have a beast inside of him. Ironic, really. Some men have a beast far more terrible than my wolf inside of them."
"You were kept a prisoner and paraded for entertainment?” It wasn't hard to work out the bare bones. The details were far more shocking.
"I grew into my gift when I turned twelve or thirteen summers.” He uttered the word with bitter irony. “Up till then, I'd lived an isolated life with an elderly couple who I thought loved me. One day, two men arrived and took me away. One claimed to be my father, the other my uncle. Then I started to have nightmares, to hear voices in my head. I was terrified of what I was becoming. My father and uncle helped me to accept and control the growing beast inside of me. They earned my trust then betrayed me.
"Your own father? Oh, Finn."
"You could never understand how it feels to have your own flesh and blood turn on you. I went with them like a lamb to the slaughter."
"Yes, I can. Ancel fathered me at the age of fifteen. He abandoned me to my fate. I'm only alive because of others. I do understand."
"The bastard doesn't deserve you. How can you be so loyal to him?” Finn's eyes flashed with anger.
"My father has worked hard to right the wrong. I think he'll spend the rest of his life doing that."
"Mine used me for his own benefit. When it all went wrong, he tried to kill me."
Re-living the painful memories was taking a toll. “Enough,” she said. “It's all in the past. You have me now.” She met and held his gaze, anxious to make her point. “I would take on the Master of Hell itself to keep you safe."
"Would you?” He offered his wrist to the shackle. “Chain me,” he said. “I expect no less."
Turning the key in the lock almost broke her heart. “I'll talk to father,” she said fervently. “Make him understand you're no danger to us. You do believe I want to be with you?"
"Sweet Naima. I came through Hell to find you and I hold you to every promise you make. Wolves mate for life, you do know that?"
"I won't let you down. What can I say to convince you?"
"Just believe in me. I need someone who'll believe in me whatever comes."
"I do. I will.” Naima's eyes glowed with the passion of a convert who'd seen the Light of Everlasting Bliss.
"They wanted to breed from me. Paid women to bear my child, make more of my kind to parade and shame for their own profit. I tried not to give them that. Some of the more-experienced women brought protection with them and just pocketed the cash. Others...” He dug his newly-grown nails into the palm of her hand. “I've had a lot of women. Not one has meant anything. Until you."
"A high-born Eagle maiden saves herself for the marriage-bed, so this is a big step for me. I'll buy some protection at the trading fair or take some from the infirmary. I know of some herbs. Although they take a while to becom
e effective."
She had the feeling of having crossed a bridge that had crumbled behind her never to be traversed again. From now on, she was irrevocably bound to walk the path she'd chosen with this man. Whatever sacrifices the journey entailed.
Finn's grip slackened and his eyelids drooped. “I can't promise you an easy life. All I have is my undying loyalty and love. Is that enough for you?"
"It's everything I've ever dreamed of having. A seer once told me my twentieth summer would be a time of great decision. I thought she meant Kandar.” Naima bit her lip at the mention of her would-be-suitor's name, and at the way Finn frowned in question. “He offered me marriage, I refused him."
"Because of me?"
"I'd already decided to say no. Your being here helped me realise it was the right thing to do.” She fished into her pocket and pulled out a twist of sugar-drops. “I almost forgot, I bought you these, here,” she said holding one to his lips.
The look of surprise on his face, the way his tongue licked tentatively at the candy, as if the treat might suddenly be withdrawn, made her heart ache. Had he never known kindness?
"You have my love, Finn. There are no obstacles we can't overcome.” The giddy optimism was giving way to a steady certainty, a growing feeling of maturity that made her stand a little straighter, confident she could shoulder the burdens ahead. “I'll talk to my father. See if I can convince him to set you free. You need clothes, sunshades for your eyes. And sleep,” she said noting how the shine faded from his eyes as exhaustion set in. “He's already guessed I have feelings for you. He'll understand."
