by Candy Nicks
Afterwards, he pulled up his pants and lay silent and still, listening to her dress and braid her hair. A little distant, she thought, after such intimacy. Inevitable, perhaps? In between the growing closeness, they both needed time to process what had happened and consider the next step and the way forward.
"I have to go,” she said. “I'll bring some breakfast for you. Be here when I come back?"
He caught her hand when she leaned over him to kiss his mouth and returned a kiss of his own to her palm. She stepped out into the early morning light with a feeling of trepidation and could only trust it meant yes.
The morning air was sharp, the ground rain-soaked and soft. The twin moons had set and the sun was reclaiming its domain in a showy burst of reds and yellows. She stooped to pluck a stray silvergold as an offering to Finn's Goddess. Wolves mated for life, so there was no need to invoke a spell for fidelity.
"Don't take him from me," she whispered. “Please don't make Finn pay for the sins of his ancestors. Take this offering and give me a sign that he'll return."
"Naima?"
Naima looked up, startled out of her prayer by a booming voice. “Kandar,” she said, curtly. “I wish you wouldn't sneak up like that."
"Sneak up? I'm a master of stealth, true, but I could have approached you playing my horn and still you wouldn't have noticed me.” He fell in step with her. “You were lost in thought."
She quickened her pace, keeping her gaze resolutely pinned to the ground. “So?"
He easily kept stride with her, eventually grabbing her by the arm to slow her. “Naima, stop. I know you're angry with me. I want to apologise for my behaviour."
She shook him off and raised her eyes to his. A mottled bruise marred the left side of his face. He lisped slightly through his split lip. “It's Finn you should be apologising to. How could you ever think of insulting a Faylar guest?"
"I breached protocol, and I'll never forgive myself. If I insulted you and your family, I'm truly sorry. I pride myself on knowing the correct form for every occasion. Jealousy clouded my judgement."
The perfect Eagle Warrior. Her father had once looked, and behaved like this, if Carine's stories were to be believed. Kandar's hair was almost as long as hers, lustrous and bright. Hair much prized in the City. Easily the tallest man she'd ever encountered and possibly the broadest. His dazzling smile and sea-blue eyes should have had her swooning at his feet. Why did he only ever provoke irritation and contempt?
"I made such a long journey to this place from Eyrie. Gave up everything I knew, to come here and marry you. And now..."
Why was he up here on the slopes at this time of the morning? “Were you spying on me?” she asked, feeling her cheeks reddening.
"I was on guard,” Kandar replied, giving nothing away. When she looked puzzled, he added, “The injured man you found yesterday. Brynn kept vigil for most of the night. I took over at sunrise.” He frowned. “What are you doing here?"
"That's none of your business. Do you know what your real problem is, Kandar?"
He looked startled at the alien concept that he should have a problem with anything. “You?” he said blankly.
"No. Not me,” she said, remembering Finn's words. “When my father left Eyrie, he didn't just make a physical journey. He made one in here.” She tapped her head. “To become a better person. Not to bring Eyrie, and all its archaic conventions, to the Settlement. Your feet have travelled the distance but in your head, you're still in Eyrie. Your attitudes, everything, remain the same.
You could have any woman on this Settlement, yet you shun them because they're not of your blood. You might as well return home, for all the good you're doing here."
Kandar's surprised expression had rapidly turned to one of hurt. “This is my home now, but tradition is important,” he said kicking at a stone.
"I know,” she said more gently. “Forgive my harsh words. No one wants you to let go of everything you knew. All Father asks of the Settlers is tolerance. If you can't find that, you shouldn't be here. Now, if you'll excuse me.” Shouldering past his implacable bulk, she continued on her way. He stared after her, bewildered.
"Naima, I saw a wolf earlier. Sniffing after the cattle, most probably. Take care."
"You're right to fear the wolves,” she replied. “Watch out for them."
When she looked back, he was studying the hut and glancing occasionally at her, the internal struggle clearly written on his face. She met and held his gaze. He looked away first, out of deference for her sex, and she almost pitied him. Too stuck in his rigid ideas to see the happiness waiting for him—if only he'd unbend a little.
Not her problem. Brynn would be in bed now catching up on his sleep. How fair was it to take him from his wife and child to accompany them on this mission?
He would want to come.
Indecision stopped her on the path leading to the house. What did she do next? Go straight to her father? Persuade Carine to tell him about the soul-swap herself?
Yawning, she let herself into the house and climbed the stairs to her bedroom. More sleep might clear her head. In the hut with Finn, anything seemed possible. Here, in her room, with the patchwork coverlet and hand-knotted rug, her favourite childhood dolls sitting on the wall-shelf, talk of shape-shifters and magic stones was too fantastic to contemplate.
Sleep came immediately, disturbed by restless dreams of mysterious young men with hypnotic eyes who appeared and then faded away to nothing.
He's mine, a regal voice said. To control and dispose of as I wish. If I choose to call him home, he will come.
"No!” Naima fought off the dream and awoke panting and clutching at thin air. Falling to her knees beside the bed, she prayed as she never had. If the Goddess didn't hear this, she was truly lost to mankind.
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Chapter 15
His instincts could just as easily be wrong. Go, Carine had told him. Take nothing; you will be provided for. Prove you are worthy and you will be rewarded. What if that was just so much fanciful talk from a fevered brain?
Finn sat on the step to the hut, chewing a piece of dry bread. Naima hadn't returned with breakfast and, although his empty stomach growled, he was hungry for more than food.
The wolf was remembering and preparing itself for a journey back to its roots. Finn had heard stories of beasts walking the length of the planet searching for their homes or their lost masters. Birds knew where to fly for winter sanctuary, and the wolf could smell the trail left by its ancestors.
Finn sniffed the air. They'd lived on this mountain for millennia and their presence still lingered. How in the world did he untangle the threads of the past to find the one that would lead him to his goal?
His wolf pushed insistently at the gates.
No, he told it. I need to recharge. Rest. If I'm to do this I'll need supplies, transport.
In his mind, he saw a man weighed down with a heavy pack, struggling across wind-swept plains. Exhausted. Lost. Then the wolf running free, its strides sure and long. Eyes set securely on the distant horizon. The man stumbled, hesitated. The wolf stopped to sniff the air. Took off again, faster, eager anticipation in its eyes.
Finn covered his face with his hands. “Speak to me, Goddess. Make me understand what you want of me."
You may not see it, beloved child. I am offering you the greatest of gifts.
"You're right, I don't see it."
This is your chance to be tested and find, in yourself, something infinitely rare and precious.
"Nobility? Is that what you mean? I don't give a damn about nobility. Years of living in a cage will knock those fancy notions right out of your head."
I think you do care. You are the only one left of my beloved messengers. Long ago, they abandoned me and paid the price. I am ready to forgive and offer you this. Reclaim the nobility and honour your ancestors lost and the Lupines will once more walk this world, protected by my love. I have grieved, all these years, for my lost chil
dren. Show me you are worthy of my love, and I will bring you back.
Finn listened to the voice in his head with growing disbelief. Hysteria—the laughing, crying kind—bubbled up inside of him.
"It's not about Carine at all, is it? I thought I was a part of her story. I'm not, am I? She's a part of mine. You made the poor woman walk through Hell so I could prove myself to you on behalf of my maligned race. I ought to bloody well say no. Bring back the Lupines and make people like my father rich? This is just a game to you, isn't it?"
Your father had the chance. He abused my gift and failed me. If you prove your worth, my children will be protected. I promise. The future is in your hands, beloved. If this is a game, you have the means to put the final pieces in place and start a new one of your own choosing.
The Goddess faded from his awareness, like salt running through his fingers. “How can I play if I don't know the rules?” he cried, clenching his fists as if that might hold her in place. “How can I do this if I don't understand what you want of me?"
He might as well have tried to grasp a moonbeam and keep it for all time. He rubbed his temples, feeling the thrum of a headache starting behind his eyes. Why was everyone so obsessed with honour? Honourable men ended up poor and dead. The wicked strutted and preened and walked over their broken backs. The man despaired, but inside him, the wolf leaped with the joy of one finally recalled from a long exile in the wilderness.
Renewed by the Goddess's love, it burst through and stood amongst the tattered remnants of Finn's clothes, quivering with the excitement of knowing exactly where it needed to be and what it needed to do.
In its minds eye, it saw the sacred fire, the precious stones burning within. A sacrifice only the worthy would be called on to make.
It's about finding me. The wolf remembered Finn's words to Naima and realised it, too, was tired of hiding. Rising to its full height, head proudly erect, it decided: no more skulking in the shadows. No more shame for the sins of its ancestors.
I will make you proud, my Goddess, it vowed, understanding what the man did not. Its sleek pelt rippled with pleasure at the touch of unseen hands. Bending its fore-paws, the wolf bowed low in obeisance. All things came from the Goddess and would do so again.
The warm, pervading energy of the Goddess's smile made it throw back its head and howl out a song of triumph to the heavens. Buoyed with a euphoria that would carry it to the end of the world, it sharpened its focus and surveyed the landscape above and below.
Two figures made their way along the track. One, a tall woman with long pale hair. In her arms, she carried a cloth-covered basket. The other a willowy boy-child with the same hair and determined stride.
Would Naima want to bear Finn's children, knowing what they might become? Would he be brave enough to ever ask it of her? The wolf stepped out to meet them not wanting them to encounter a wild beast standing on the remnants of Finn's ripped clothing.
A little way down the slope, it spied the long, low building housing the sick. Inside, lay an injured man and between them, a score to settle. Further down the grassy valley stood the rambling stone house, surrounded by gardens and trees, where Carine lay awaiting her fate. She'd walked through fire for those she loved, and now the wolf would do the same for her. The Goddess would smile once more on the Lupines and bestow upon them their rightful place in this world.
"Naima, it's a wolf."
The wolf watched, unafraid, as Sol drew his wooden sword and held it in a two-handed fighting stance. Naima's surprise lasted only a heartbeat. She placed a hand on Sol's sword and gently pressed it down.
"It won't hurt us,” she said. “Isn't he beautiful?"
Sol lowered his weapon cautiously and tilted his face to hers. “He?"
"It's in the eyes,” she said, her own glowing with pride and love. The corners of her mouth turned up in a secret smile. “Finn said he was taking a walk. Do you think he'll mind if we give his breakfast to the wolf?"
"It will let us feed it?” Sol's eyes grew round with excitement. “May I?"
"Go gently and let him know we'd never hurt it. He's come a long way and we don't want to frighten him."
Trust? With surprise, the wolf realised the first lesson was for itself. Humans had been a source of untold misery, yet the sight of Naima and this child raised barely a hackle. Sol squealed with delight when it nibbled delicately at the chunk of cheese offered on the child's outstretched palm. It wove itself around their legs, rising to their touch and relishing the contact. The wolf had instinctively trusted Naima from the first. Now it needed to find out whether the breach between the Lupines and mankind could be healed.
Sol fell to his knees and threw his arms around the wolf's neck. Burying his face in the thick fur he declared, “This is the best thing ever. Wait until I tell Father."
The wolf forced itself to stay relaxed at the mention of others, and pushed its muzzle into Naima's hand. Warriors like Ancel and Kandar would be a different matter, their trust harder to earn. Naima and Sol were special people, mediators crucial to the resurgence of the Lupines. Rare in a world of such greed and prejudice.
It ate with the ravenous hunger of a body starved of more than food. When it had polished off every scrap of Finn's breakfast, it trotted to the lee of a rocky out-crop and flopped onto the grassy bank, replete and satisfied. Rarely had they allowed it anything except its anger and rage. Now, as it groomed and basked in the weak early-morning sun, it savoured each new experience and remembered that the Lupines once were peace-loving guardians. Watchers for the Goddess.
Sadness weighed down its heart when it remembered, too, how they'd become, in turn, her spies and then her scapegoats. With care and thought, those bridges needed rebuilding.
Sol looked fit to burst with the pride of having touched such an elusive creature. Naima's gaze held wonder and a new understanding of who, and what, the Lupines were.
Enough for now. The fragile human host was weakening and the wolf knew it ought to slip quietly away and change back. Together with Finn, it needed to work out an equilibrium that would allow them both a life. Rising reluctantly from its comfortable resting place it climbed the slope and disappeared into a stand of trees.
Naked, Finn waited for Naima and Sol to leave so he could slip unobtrusively back to the hut without scandalising anyone. With his wolf's eyes, he saw Naima hand the empty basket to Sol and wave her brother back to the house. When she placed a finger on her lips and shook her head, Finn realised she must be urging Sol to keep their secret for now. Much as he wanted people to know his true self, it was for the best. If Sol ran back ranting about wolves, Ancel would come charging up the slope to defend his daughter. Finn looked down at his burgeoning erection and smiled at the sight of Naima picking her way up the slope towards him.
No, he definitely didn't want Ancel barging in on them right now.
* * * *
Panting lightly from the climb, Naima threaded her way through the trees. Every sense prickled with awareness as she glanced nervously around for the creature, or the man, following her. When Finn stepped out of the shadows, she jumped and clutched at her hammering heart, her nerve endings catching fire at the sight of him, gloriously naked and aroused, and so in tune with this rugged landscape. His purposeful stride and the set of his jaw melted the flesh from her bones, leaving her stranded in place as he gripped her elbows with his hands and yanked her towards him.
His mouth took hers with a newly-found confidence that went beyond lust and simple wanting. She listened to the message in his relentless lips and probing tongue, the thrust of his hard cock against her belly and gave back with the same wanton abandon.
Words were redundant. Finn stripped her of her clothes and took her with a reckless need. Skin to skin as he'd craved, spilling himself inside her with hot, hard thrusts. They lay together in a shocked haze, each of them processing the monumental decision to let Fate decide whether the Lupines would once more walk this earth. Although, when she finally lifted her head
to glance at Finn, now lying, drained, beside her, Naima glimpsed in his unguarded expression a certainty that one day they would. With wonder, she placed a palm on her stomach. Whatever happened, any child of their union would walk always in the light, with its head held high.
A surge of fierce protectiveness gripped her. All doubts faded away to be replaced by a peace she'd never known. She'd walk through fire for this man, gladly and with a smile on her face.
"Finn,” she said. “I love you as you are. I'll never try and stop you being you."
"You can live with the Goddess having first claim on me? She wants to bring us back, Naima. It's time, once more, for the Lupines to walk this world."
"The crumbs from her table are a veritable feast,” she replied. “I love you, Finn. I'll take you any way I can get you."
With a sly grin, he rolled over and covered her, one hand on each of her wrists. His expression turned serious.
"How brave are you?” he asked. “This path won't be easy. Too many years of prejudice and mistrust to overcome."
"I'm not afraid,” she said. “I'm the lucky one. I have you.” Wrapping her legs around his thighs, she pulled him closer.
"For now. I don't know whether I'll survive the days ahead, so I want to tell you this.
Mala, caniara olivatente. Delabita conatre more inult. Walk with me, share with me. Laugh with me, cry with me. Live with me until the end. And then wait for me, as I will wait for you."
"Oh, Finn. Yes.” What else could she say? She stood at the bittersweet junction of sorrow and joy. A place of infinite stillness and certainty.
"Make love to me again,” she said placing her hands palms-up, beside her head. “Let's tempt fate.” If you're determined to do this thing, leave something to remember you by. To console me if you don't return.
"I am coming back,” he said, rubbing his face against the soft skin of her neck. “In whatever form, I'm determined to come back."
"You will. I'll share you with the Goddess, but if she tries to take you from me, she has a fight on her hands."
Finn chuckled and raised his head. “My beautiful warrior maiden. My love is all I have to give you. Is it enough?"
