He smiled and wasted no time in kissing her. She tasted like strawberries and felt like heaven, and in that moment, Jonathan determined to never let her go again. This was how his life was meant to be lived.
It wasn't until someone cleared her throat behind him that Jonathan found it necessary to release Cora. They turned to find Mrs. Shepherd standing just inside the door, looking as though she did not know whether to congratulate or scold them.
"Am I to offer you my felicitations?" she asked.
Cora blushed profusely and began shaking her head, obviously mortified that they had been caught in such a compromising position, especially when Jonathan had not officially proposed.
He merely smiled and picked up Cora's hand, bending to place a kiss on it. When he rose again, he turned to Mrs. Shepherd. "Not yet. But soon, I hope. Good day to you, Mrs. Shepherd." He bowed and turned to Cora once more, and with a slight smile, added, "Cora."
Then he strode out of the room and back to the great hall, where he pulled on his hat, gloves, and greatcoat. He wished Jeffries a good day before emerging outside to a scene of slush and melting snow. The crisp air filled his lungs as he sauntered down the steps to his waiting horse. How wonderful it felt to be back in harmony with Cora.
Someday, he would have to thank his father for his sagacious advice.
The moment Mr. Ludlow left the room, Mrs. Shepherd rushed forward in a flurry of lavender muslin to clasp Cora's hands and give them a hearty squeeze. "My dear, you obviously withheld important information from Mr. Shepherd and me. Why did you not tell us that Mr. Ludlow has developed a tendré for you? Is that the true reason for your dismissal?"
"It is one of the reasons." Cora's heart still pounded from Mr. Ludlow's kiss and tender words. How invigorated he had made her feel, as though she could the run the entire length of a meadow without ever tiring even after a wretched night's sleep. Her spirits had never soared so high. It felt like they had been caught up in the clouds and would remain there always, brimming with too much elation to ever come down again.
She shook her head, unable to remove the smile from her lips. "I did not know until last night. He kissed me quite suddenly, claimed to be falling in love with me, and in the same breath informed me that I was the most dreadful of housekeepers. He went on to inventory several reasons as to why I could never hope to become proficient at the job and promptly dismissed me. One moment I was in raptures and the next angry and injured. I am loathe to admit that I stormed off like a spoiled child. I spent all of last night wondering if one or the both of us had gone mad, and by morning, I had arrived at the conclusion that a man such as Mr. Ludlow could never truly love me."
She turned her gaze on Mrs. Shepherd. "Happily, he has proven me wrong, and now I am all aflutter again. Honest to goodness, it feels as though I've been thrown from the fire to the snow and back to the fire again. All I can think is that I am too close to the flames and will likely suffer a burn."
Cora silently pled with Mrs. Shepherd for help in navigating these unchartered waters, but the woman did not seem at all concerned about Cora's distressed state. Rather, her smile widened and she grasped Cora's arms.
"Oh, my dear, that is a perfectly normal way to feel. Love is both thrilling and terrifying, is it not? But you have nothing to fear, I assure you. I have not seen a more besotted man since Lord Drayson looked upon my daughter. I could not be more happy for you."
Mrs. Shepherd's words warmed Cora's heart, but they did not placate her mind. She bit her lower lip and worried over it for a moment. "It is wonderful, but…"
"But what?"
Cora suddenly felt weary and laden with a weight that her legs could no longer support. How interesting that a smattering of doubts and concerns could have such a diminishing effect on one's euphoria. She sank down on the sofa and clasped her trembling fingers in her lap.
"Mr. Ludlow wishes for you and Mr. Shepherd to introduce me into society so that he might court me properly."
"That is understandable." Mrs. Shepherd sat beside Cora, eyeing her closely. "Is there something wrong, my dear? Do you not share his feelings?"
"Of course I do." That was the least of Cora's concerns, or perhaps the reason for them. She could not determine which.
"Pray do not say that you are still opposed to entering society," said Mrs. Shepherd. "Mr. Ludlow is in the right of it, I'm afraid. He cannot pay court to you while you are still his housekeeper."
"I realize that," said Cora. "It's only…" Oh, how to explain? Her feelings were so confused that words eluded her.
"You once told me," Mrs. Shepherd began carefully, "that you never wished to feel beholden to anyone ever again and sought your own way. But now a very different future lies before you. Do you feel as though you will be giving up your independence if you proceed? Is that the problem?"
Cora could safely say that no, it was not, but Mrs. Shepherd's words gave Cora pause, making her feel rather like a pretender. Only months before she had taken a firm stance on the importance of independence and now she found herself wavering most alarmingly. Or was it wavering? Oddly enough, Cora didn't feel as though pledging herself to Jonathan would require that sacrifice.
"I do not think that is it at all," answered Cora. "Mr. Ludlow respects me. He seeks for my opinions, listens to them, and tries to understand my feelings on various matters. Although I am far beneath him, he has never made me feel unworthy of his notice. Rather, he has made me feel like an equal or partner of sorts, though he found it necessary to remind me of my place many times." Cora smiled at the memories, thinking how they had learned to "manage" each other quite well. "So no, that is not the problem at all. I will happily be beholden to Mr. Ludlow all the rest of my days. He has captured my heart so completely, you see."
A gentle smile lifted Mrs. Shepherd's lips, but her expression remained confused. "Then what is it?"
Cora stifled a groan. If only she had listened to the Shepherds from the outset she would not be in this pickle. Yet here she sat, in a muddled pool of her own making.
"You said it yourself," said Cora. "If I went through with my obstinate notion to enter service, my reputation would suffer in the extreme. The fact of the matter is that I have been Mr. Ludlow's housekeeper for months now. I know how servants talk and how that talk inevitably spreads to polite circles. If people in town do not already know I took a position as a housekeeper, they will eventually learn the truth and discover precisely how far I have fallen. A shadow has been cast on my name and it cannot be undone. What is the likelihood I will be accepted by them now? And will not your good name be tainted by your association with me? I would never dream of injuring you, Mr. Shepherd, or Jonathan in any way."
Mrs. Shepherd released her breath as though relieved that Cora's concerns were not of a more serious nature. "You mustn't worry about that, my dear," she said with a pat on Cora's knee. "Oh, there will be gossip and snide looks, perhaps even a few cutting remarks, but as with all scandals, it will die down in time. Once Mr. Ludlow makes his intentions clear, which I assume will happen very soon, and people see that Mr. Shepherd and I stand behind you completely, all will be forgotten. The only snide looks you will receive will be from those who are green with envy that you have snared the most eligible bachelor in the vicinity. But that is of no consequence. Oh my dear, I cannot tell you how thrilled I am by this turn of events. It is everything I could have hoped for you."
Cora responded with a smile of her own, but she could not calm the disquiet in her heart. It did not seem probable that the situation would play out as seamlessly as Mrs. Shepherd seemed to think it would. Cora had seen firsthand how cruel and vindictive people could be. Every time her fumbling father had attempted to befriend or even approach an elite member of society, the encounter had ended in disaster and humiliation. When a person of influence chose to shun or think less of another, that influence carried a great deal of weight and even went so far as to alter another's opinion. In Cora's experience, there were very few Lady Harriett
s or Mr. and Mrs. Shepherds in the world. She couldn't help but wonder at the likelihood of finding more in Askern.
When Mrs. Shepherd began discussing the need for new gowns and fripperies, Cora forced her thoughts back to the present and swallowed any arguments she had on the subject. Mrs. Shepherd radiated enthusiasm, and Cora would be ungrateful indeed if she did not allow the lady her fun.
And why shouldn't they enjoy a shopping excursion? Cora had somehow managed to capture Mr. Jonathan Ludlow's interest—a gentleman who was handsome, charming, kind, wonderful, and good. Was this not what she had always wanted? To have what Lady Drayson and Mrs. Shepherd had—a man at her side who loved her as much as she did him? Cora's future had never looked so glorious. She could one day be mistress of a large and beautiful home. What's more, she could be a mother. Only imagine little boys and girls running amok through the halls of Tanglewood and breathing additional life into the place. It sounded perfectly blissful.
Unfortunately, experience had taught Cora that hopes and dreams were not often realized. Life was filled with disappointments, and Cora had known her fair share of them. It was the reason her smile did not reach into her heart and her enthusiasm did not soar back into the clouds like she wished it would.
The days began to fly by in a flurry of shopping, fittings, and more shopping. Christmas and all it entailed came and went fairly quietly, with Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd attending only a few social events and only for the specific purpose of putting the word about that a close friend of Lady Harriett's had come to stay.
Most evenings the Shepherds preferred to dine en famille at Knotting Tree, where they could attend to Jonathan, who visited daily and often returned for dinner or a special event, like lighting the Yule log or collecting greenery to be placed around the house. He even created a kissing bough, which he hung above the drawing room doors and put to use every now and again when Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd were not attending.
They foursome dined a time or two at Tanglewood as well. Upon Cora's arrival, she would sneak away for a few moments to visit her old friends in the kitchen. Sally, with her improved speech, had earned Jonathan's trust once more. He had made her the new housekeeper and Alice one of the housemaids. A new girl had been hired to assist Sally in the still room, and at last, all seemed content at Tanglewood.
Mrs. Caddy and Watts welcomed Cora with smiles of affection, while Harry found it necessary to continue his teasing.
"'Ave you changed your name yet again, Miss Notley?" he said. "Or is it Mrs. Notley now? 'Appen we'll soon be callin' you Mrs. Ludlow, eh? Please say you'll be keepin' that name for at least a time."
Cora tried her best not to blush but failed miserably. She wagged a finger at Harry. "I'll not say anything of the sort and neither should you, Harry. Will you never learn to hold your tongue?"
"Afraid not, Miss—or is it Mrs.? No, it's Miss, but only for now, isn't that so?"
Mrs. Caddy barked out a laugh and the others chuckled as well. Cora stifled her own giggles and attempted to glare at Harry, not that it did much good. He knew all too well that she liked him in spite of his incorrigible nature. She liked them all. They had become very dear to her and would always remain that way.
At the end of her visit, Cora wished everyone well before returning to the drawing room, where Jonathan greeted her with a smile that set her heart to pounding.
He immediately stood and gestured for her to take the vacant spot next to him on the sofa. "Should I be envious that you wished to seek out my servants first and not me?" he teased.
"Very envious," she said with a solemn nod as she sat down. "They are quite a lively bunch in the kitchen."
"I beg your pardon." Mr. Shepherd feigned offense. "Do you mean to say that we are not?"
"Heavens no," said Cora. "I mean to say that you are not as lively."
Mrs. Shepherd laughed, and Jonathan arched an eyebrow at Mr. Shepherd. "I believe Cora has given us a challenge, sir."
"It sounded rather like an insult to me."
"Apparently you do not know her as well as I. Cora is incapable of casting insults. It must therefore be a challenge."
"If you say so," said Mr. Shepherd. "How do you propose we rise to such a challenge, Mr. Ludlow?"
Jonathan pressed his lips together as though giving the matter some thought. "I do know that Cora likes to be entertained. I wonder… do you dance, sir?"
"Only when necessary."
"Juggle?"
"Only figuratively."
This earned a laugh from the others. "What about music. Do you sing?"
"Never."
"Recite poetry?"
Mr. Shepherd made a face, and Cora took the opportunity to intervene. "You may not, Mr. Shepherd, but Jonathan has an ingenious way with words when it comes to poetry. Isn't that right? I seem to recall a very entertaining poem you once composed about a goat." She grinned at him, daring him to deny it.
"You are a poet?" Mrs. Shepherd said, clasping her hands together in a show of delight. "How wonderful. Do tell us about this goat."
"Yes, do," added Mr. Shepherd, settling back with a wicked grin on his face. "Something tells me this evening is about to become very lively indeed."
Jonathan directed a look of challenge at Cora. "It is an entertaining poem, I will admit. However, I will only agree to recite it if Cora will agree to give us a pastry demonstration. Or perhaps instruct us on what she puts in her tea to make it so… restorative."
Cora tried to keep her mouth in a straight line, but she could not contain her laughter for long. "Touché, Jonathan. You have certainly put me in my place yet again."
"If only you were not so quick to leave said place."
His teasing always made her heart glow like a flame on the tip of a candlestick. She liked that he knew her so well and found her weaknesses endearing rather than irritating.
Mr. Shepherd relaxed against the back of the sofa and folded his arms. "I believe we will no longer be privy to a poem about a goat, my dear Mrs. Shepherd. Pray tell, what shall we do now?" He immediately brightened. "What about a reading? Do you have any good books, Mr. Ludlow?"
Mrs. Shepherd placed a hand on her husband's arm and shook her head. "This evening is meant to be a lively one, remember?"
"I propose a game of cards," said Jonathan. "Instead of wagering valuables, we can wager kisses."
"Yes, that would definitely make for a lively evening." Mr. Shepherd grinned at his wife. "What do you say, my dear?"
"I'd say you are both incorrigible wretches," she replied, making everyone laugh. "But a game of whist is always lively, even without a wager."
With no other ideas forthcoming, Jonathan retrieved a deck of cards and the not-so-lively group spent the remainder of the evening pleasantly engaged in a game of whist. They laughed, they talked, they teased, and after the game, when Mr. Shepherd helped Mrs. Shepherd with her coat, Jonathan stole a brief kiss from Cora.
She left with her slippers barely grazing the floor, thinking she could not remember a happier time in all her life. If only it would last forever.
In early January, on an overcast Monday morning, an invitation addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd and Miss Coralynn Notley arrived in the post. Cora was seated in the drawing room with the Shepherds and worried over her lower lip while Mr. Shepherd scanned the missive.
"Mrs. Bidding is hosting a soirée at her home on Friday next and would like for all of us to attend."
Mrs. Shepherd considered the invitation with pursed lips and a thoughtful nod. "I should have liked for Cora to make her debut at a larger event, but Mrs. Bidding is a dear friend and we cannot decline. Perhaps it is for the best." She paused and looked at Cora. "Mrs. Bidding's parties are usually tepid affairs and therefore not very well attended, so we can ease you in slowly. There are likely to be no more than twenty people in attendance, wouldn't you agree, Stephen?"
He nodded as he perused another letter that had arrived.
"What do you say, Cora?" asked Mrs. Shepherd. "Shall
I accept for all of us?"
Large party or small, Cora could not muster any excitement about the prospect. She had little experience with social outings and did not know what to say to people who would likely look down their noses at her.
Mr. Shepherd peeked at Cora over the top of his reading glasses before setting his letter down. He leaned forward, taking her hand in his and giving it a light squeeze. "The Biddings are kind and gracious. They will adore you on sight and welcome you into their home. As for the rest, I do not know how they will react or what they might say. But there is no need for you to admit to being a housekeeper, my dear. People will hear what they will hear and think what they will think, but if Julia, Mr. Ludlow, and I remain silent on the subject, no one will ever really know what truly transpired, will they?"
Cora could not argue with that, but she was fairly certain that if asked, she would not be able to hide the truth. Had Jonathan not said that her eyes were too honest and her expressions too telling? As things stood now, Cora was far more likely to add fuel to the gossip than stifle it, but she also knew she could not stay hidden away at Knotting Tree forever. That would be an act of cowardice, and she refused to think of herself as a coward.
She lifted her chin and nodded. "Let us send our acceptance for what is sure to be a delightful evening."
"I would not count on it," said Mr. Shepherd with a small smile. "Julia was being kind when she described the Bidding's parties as tepid. In reality, they are much like reading a dictionary."
Cora decided to take comfort in that. A small party would definitely be the preferable place to begin and she would be grateful for it. But as each day passed, bringing them closer to the day of the soirée, she could not quiet her anxiety. Though she was no stranger to a good snubbing, she had never been able to ignore the sting that came with it. Mr. and Mrs. Bidding had been kind to invite her, but what if all others in attendance only accepted because they wanted to get a look at the woman who'd behaved so scandalously? Once they'd seen for themselves that she was no one of importance, would she be forever ostracized from the community? Would rumors spread about her and Jonathan? Would he come to realize that she was not worth his notice?
The Rise of Miss Notley (Tanglewood Book 2) Page 17
