The love Caine felt for each of his children sometimes threatened to take his breath away. It was just that strong.
If Dalton hadn’t been his, it would have devastated him at first. But his son had still needed him. From the very first moment he’d held Dalton he had loved him.
He didn’t think that would have changed no matter what was printed on that sheet of paper in the safe.
Nikkie Jean’s hurt stabbed right through him.
His thoughts were heavy when he left his youngest’s room after checking for fever, and headed toward his own. It didn’t matter how late he got in at night, breakfast always came at seven. He had the weekend off, except for quick check-ins, but that didn’t mean he’d get to rest.
Better get what sleep he could, while he could. If the children were coming down with something, Caine was going to be extremely busy in the morning.
Caine stretched out in his bed and tried not to let the nightmares he’d seen haunt him. Tried not to let Nikkie Jean’s.
Tonight had made things crystal clear to him.
Five minutes earlier on the highway and Nikkie Jean would have been in one of those cars. And he would have found her there. His world would have shattered in an instant if he’d lost her and the baby tonight.
A thousand times worse than it had when April had been in his ER.
Whatever feelings he had for Nikkie Jean at first, they’d already shifted into something deeper. Something lasting. Something stronger than even what he’d had with April. He wasn’t going to give that up. But he would have to do things right. For everyone. He couldn’t rush her. He couldn’t rush the children. There would have to be things he worked out with her. So that she’d always know she’d be safe with him. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt that woman.
It was a long time before he slept.
57
SHE REFUSED TO LET HERSELF think about the man who looked just like the one staring down at her. Once Nikkie Jean returned back to work the day after the MVA, she forced Caine from her mind. She wasn’t going to think of him right now.
She just felt like too much chewed up raw hamburger after what had been shared between them.
She’d given him all of last night in her head. And had dreamed about how those strong perfect arms had felt around her. That dream had morphed into an oddly familiar-looking dragon flying through the Value, Texas, sky, slaying all of her enemies with a single claw.
Enemies that looked like her father and like the man who had raped her years ago.
Ridiculous. Enough was enough.
She had to get back to normal. Had to. Last night had felt too right, the way he had held her while she’d cried. And told him everything.
The last man she’d told everything to had gone loony tunes on her afterward. He’d alternated between being angry with her—and trying to coddle her with kid gloves.
Nikkie Jean hadn’t needed that.
Their relationship had fizzled less than a month later, because Scott hadn’t been able to handle her baggage. He’d been only a moderate improvement over the one before who thought she’d been damaged beyond repair, not even fifteen minutes after she’d told him why she wasn’t ready for sex that fast.
The FCGH chief of medicine was still all grumbly. Maybe he needed a fifteen-minute break with Jillian or something.
Rafe had come into their department, within the throws of what could only be referred to as his warpath mode.
Someone, and she suspected it was Dr. Henedy, had flubbed up again.
Rafe was looking for the answers. Answers no one had, except Dr. Henedy.
Nikkie Jean did the only thing a sane woman could do when he questioned her. Interrogated her, third-degree style.
She shrugged and tried to run for the hills. Behind his sister-in-law. He adored Lacy, after all. When that didn’t work, she covered her stomach with one hand, and put her wrist to her head. Maybe there was some uncle mercy in there somewhere?
“Oh, Lordy me, I feel faint.” She shot him a grin. “It’s the baby, sur-uh. It makes me forgetful…bad genes from the fath-uh, after all…”
It didn’t work.
But she was almost certain his lips had twitched. That happened a lot since he’d hooked up with Jillian. She sent him an innocent smile again. “Yes, Dr. Holden-Deane, sir? Can I help you today?”
He shot a look at Allen. “Do they always misbehave in here?”
“Every day. But what can we say? They’re the patients’ favorites.”
Rafe shot her a look. “If you see Dr. Henedy, remind him that I want to speak with him. Immediately.”
“Will do.” And she’d just make a point of avoiding Dr. Henedy. More than she usually did, anyway.
He was getting a bit…creepy. She didn’t want to complain to Allen or Rafe—yet. But if he didn’t stop just watching her, she would have to consider it. Something odd had been in his eyes the last time they’d encountered one another in the parking lot.
He always seemed to be waiting in the parking lot, no matter what time Nikkie Jean left for the day.
“And Nikkie Jean? Behave. No more shaving cream in other doctors’ lockers.” He shot her a grin that sent an unexpected pain through her heart. For Caine. Rafe looked just like his brother then. She just wished Caine had found Rafe sooner. Wished he’d had some sort of better support system years ago when he’d lost his wife. Caine hadn’t deserved to have to face that all alone.
She looked at Lacy and winced. She’d helped, but it had been Lacy’s idea. “What is he talking about? I never put shaving cream anywhere.”
Lacy just shrugged innocently. “Travis says he’s always had odd fantasies.”
Rafe’s look intensified. He held up a hand and rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. “Behave. Both of you. At least for one week, ok? Until after this billing audit is off my plate and the buyers from Carrington are settled. Consider it a challenge. Lacy, see that she eats something healthy for lunch. Have to combat those bad genes from the father somehow. Get back to work, both of you.”
She was almost convinced he was smiling when he left.
Someone bumped her from behind, and she turned, forcing herself not to squeak at the contact. Looked into gray eyes and an extremely handsome face. Smelled his subtle cologne.
“He might be fooled by your innocent act, but I know who it was.” Allen leaned down and whispered in her ear. “And there will be payback.”
She shot him the most innocent look she could. “I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”
“Of course not. But since you and Lacy apparently have the most free time today…I’m sure maintenance has cleaning rags ready. Happy lunch.”
She waited until the man had walked out, then turned to her partner in crime. She high-fived her accomplice. “Nice to see him smile again.”
“It is. People have been tiptoeing around him long enough. That’s the last thing Allen needs. He needs to have a normal again.”
“Completely agree.” Allen was a friend; not a close one, but she cared about him. “Come on. We have whipped cream to clean up.”
“Let’s do it. Then I’ll buy you lunch, like Rafe ordered. We need to think of what to do with Allen next,” Lacy said. “Shake him out of it.”
“I think he needs a woman. A woman as opposite from that pharmacy tech as possible.” Allen was lonely. That pharmacy tech who’d hurt him had done some serious damage. And the poor guy had lost both of his best friends around the same time. “Someone genuine and kind. Who isn’t so mercenary.”
He was guarded now in a way he hadn’t been before. She knew what that was like far too well. She knew the hurt trauma could cause up close and personal, after all.
“You volunteering? I think you’d give him gray hair, Nik. And don’t you have a big, snarly COM of your own?”
“Mine’s not as snarly as Jillian’s. He’s just…more hurt…than Rafe, I think.” Caine and Rafe had very different temperaments, in a lot of ways. Unexpec
ted ways. Caine was far more…sensitive. And hiding his own deep dragon wounds. It made her feel a bit more than protective of him. “And I’m not so certain he’s mine.”
Although it had felt right all snuggled up against him on her couch last night. She had to remember not to read too much into that though.
The phone call about his children could have just been a convenient excuse for him to escape—even if it had come at nearly one thirty in the morning.
“Not to mention, I’m going to be busy for the next eight months, followed by eighteen years after that. How can I juggle being mommy and being doctor and being with a man like Caine Alvaro?”
“Totally understand. So who can we throw at Allen to take that look out of his eyes?”
“I’m not sure.” Nikkie thought about it as they went to work cleaning up their mess. “Annie?”
Lacy shook her head. “He’s too brotherly with Annie.”
“And she’d probably run for the hills if a man like Allen even looked at her.” Annie wasn’t just uncertain of men. She was extremely shy. A man with Allen’s confidence and, well, charisma, would terrify Annie. And overwhelm her. “Fin was my first thought a few weeks ago, but I think Virat might object to that now.”
Lacy smirked. “No doubt.”
“Izzie?” She discounted that as soon as she said it. She and Lacy both laughed for a long moment after that one. “No. I have a feeling they’d fight constantly. She really doesn’t like male doctors.”
“For good reason.”
Izzie had had some trouble with a former chief of medicine.
Nothing had come from it at the hospital. But the man had been arrested shortly after. On prostitution charges. Stemming from a sting on Boethe Street.
Izzie’s uncle was with the TSP, and often patrolled Boethe Street. Nikkie Jean had put things together rather quickly.
Most physicians were good people. Nikkie Jean knew that. But there were always a few buttheads in the bunch. Just like in any other profession.
It was the first time that thought had actually occurred to her.
Allen’s trauma was far different than Nikkie Jean’s had been, but he’d still been betrayed. Hurt in a way that there was no simple bandage for. And that was why she’d do what she could to help him.
Caine had his own share of trauma to heal from. And a part of her thought that maybe he wasn’t quite as far along on the journey as she was.
His pain had sounded so raw last night.
Her phone buzzed and she read the text quickly.
“Apparently, I have to go as Allen’s plus-one to Ari’s wedding. He says it’s his revenge.”
“Weren’t you planning to go anyway?”
“Of course. I’m helping oversee the guest book and the ushers. Apparently, I’m destined for Guest Book Greatness.”
“I think you’re Allen’s safety date.”
“I’d be up for a just-friends evening with Allen. But that’s it. He looks like he could really use a friend. And I just don’t have enough of those.”
She texted back a quick reply. And said yes.
“I don’t think any of us do.”
58
ALLEN WAS STILL SMILING when he walked into the entrance of Barratt County Gen an hour after he’d left Finley Creek County Gen. It had been a while since he’d had anything like that to laugh about. Once he would have told Jess about the prank, but not now.
That wasn’t possible.
But at least he was able to get through half a day without thinking about her and what had happened. Or Logan and Banks.
The day had gone too well for him to let old nightmares resurface.
He had a follow-up patient who’d somehow ended up in Barratt County. He wanted to check on him, and since he was on his way to Garrity to pick up his sister Shelby after she’d ridden home with a classmate two days ago, he figured now was as good a time as any.
He rounded the corner near the information desk and stopped short as he almost slammed into a familiar face. “Rafe.”
“Caine.” The man wore jeans with his suit coat. Not something Allen would expect of Rafe. Other than that…almost dead ringer. “His twin.”
Once Allen looked closer, it was obvious. The scar was rather distinctive. “I apologize. At first glance…”
“I know. We’re identical. Can I help you?”
Allen held out his hand. He’d gotten the message. “Dr. Allen Jacobson, Finley Creek Gen. Head of surgery.”
“Caine Alvaro, COM.”
Allen wasn’t lost to the similarities—or the coincidence. Rafe hadn’t mentioned having another brother. And Allen had known the Deanes for years. Curiosity filled him, but Allen kept his mouth shut. Their private life was none of his business. “Nice to meet you. I’m just passing through. I have a patient in your ICU. Mr. MacHeney.”
“He mentioned he was under your care. Dr. Henedy is handling his care here.”
The conversation turned to the patient, and Allen was impressed. Alvaro knew his stuff and knew what was happening in his own hospital.
But then again, so did his brother. Rafe was a damned gifted physician and always had been. And a fine administrator. He suspected this brother was extremely similar in that regard.
When they were halfway to the ICU unit, Alvaro looked at him. “You have white foam of some sort on your cheek. It looks like a fingerprint.”
Allen lifted his hand, and sure enough, his face was sticky. “Whipped cream. Dr. Netorre…that little brat.”
“Nikkie Jean?” The other man’s expression shifted in an instant. Allen’s hackles rose.
“That’s her. She kissed my cheek before I left. Little troublemaker. I knew she was up to something. She almost always is. She filled my locker with whipped cream this afternoon.”
The man’s lips twitched. “She did? Why did she do that?”
“The same reason she glued Rafe’s office door shut a few months ago. Or ordered pizzas for the PICU nurses and told them to bill Rafe’s wife. She ordered two hundred rainbow balloons for the pediatric cancer ward—charged them to Dr. Patel after he’d switched her lunch order to one with jalapenos. She’s incorrigible. Nikkie Jean can be a handful. She’s also one of the best pediatric surgical residents I’ve ever seen.”
“And she kissed you?” If possible, the man’s expression darkened. “Why?”
“We’re…friends.” He knew what that implied, but he didn’t give a damn. Some protective urges were rising, and Allen knew it. “About Mr. MacHeney?”
He wasn’t going to stand there and discuss Nikkie Jean, a woman who was far too vulnerable to men like Caine Alvaro—men like Allen used to be—with a stranger. For all her humor and playfulness and friendliness, Nikkie Jean kept a distance between herself and others.
One that spoke of more hurt than Allen wanted to think about.
Allen didn’t like to speculate about the people he worked with, or the people he was starting to care about, but there was something in the other man’s eyes when he spoke of Nikkie Jean.
Something that Allen just did not like.
Possession.
“Let’s get Henedy down here, see what he has to offer.”
59
WALLACE WAS SWEATING. He just hoped the other two men attributed it to the July Texas heat. He’d been paged from his office to the third floor where Dr. Alvaro and Allen Jacobson had been waiting.
He’d always been a bit nervous around authority figures. And his boss at Barratt County was definitely an authority figure. He’d reamed Wallace four times in the six months or so that he’d been chief of medicine. The last thing he need was Dr. Alvaro turning the full force of his fury in Wallace’s direction.
Allen turned to him, soliciting his opinion. “We’ll need to build a team, quickly. Do the surgery at FCGH. I want both Dr. Netorre and Dr. Deane to assist. It’s not pediatric, but the technique is the same, and I don’t believe either have seen it enacted. And I’m comfortable with the two of them in my
OR. Wallace?”
“I’m fully on board with those two little ladies assisting. Remarkable girls, and damned fine surgeons.”
Dr. Alvaro’s shoulders tensed. Wallace studied him.
“I’ve been trying to get ahold of Dr. Netorre this afternoon. I’m not having any luck.”
Wallace had no idea why Caine Alvaro would be wanting to talk to Nikkie Jean. He hadn’t even known the two were acquainted.
Unless it had something to do with Carrington. The sweating intensified.
If Jordan Carrington put things together…
Allen checked his watch. “She’s most likely still assisting in surgery. She had a long one today. And it wasn’t going to be easy. I actually should go, check on the department as a whole. Rafe has been on everyone lately.”
“The audit at FCGH is supposed to finish next week?” Wallace asked.
If Holden-Deane and Alvaro started discussing the two hospitals, and the two audits, they could eventually put things together. If they involved Nikkie Jean and her father, it was possible Jordan could trace records back twenty years or more. Jordan had those kinds of connections in the industry.
And if he put it together with Miranda…
The men were both sharp as tacks. Probably sharper than Wallace was. If he had failed to cover his machinations even once…one of the two brothers would find it.
And that would bring the entire house of cards toppling down, blowing lost in the wind.
The man who’d been Wallace’s roommate in medical school had just been arrested for Medicare billing fraud in Wyoming. It was making the news nationwide, as that man had been a noted speaker and researcher. And thief.
Wallace didn’t want to be painted a thief by association.
What he had done wasn’t theft. Not really.
At one point, Jennifer had ordered him to cultivate those relationships. She seemed to have forgotten that fact. Now, all he had to do was cleanse and purge his files. That’s all, Jennifer had said.
As if it was that easy.
All that was in the computers somewhere, Wallace knew it. Barratt County might be quite a bit behind compared to Finley Creek Gen, but they weren’t in the Dark Ages.
Lost in the Wind Page 22
