“I need a cup of tea,” Lillith said, after several moments of silence. “Anyone want one?”
Uma looked at her, eyes glistening. She looked like she wanted to say something else, but she breathed out and smiled weakly. “I’d love one,” she said.
Lillith tipped her head in acknowledgement and turned to Brody. His eyes were red, and his cheeks were wet. Did he feel the same way as her?
Brody looked up and sniffed. “Coffee,” he said. “Please.”
Lillith filled the kettle with fresh water, and put it on to boil. She climbed onto a stool and placed her head on the breakfast bar. She wasn’t sure how she felt. Her stomach and heart were heavy. It hadn’t been nice to hear, but she couldn’t feel guilty, because it hadn’t been her. It’d been a version of her, but it wasn’t her as she was now. She wasn’t as powerful as that, for one, and she couldn’t imagine ever being as powerful as that. Even if she was, she felt certain that she wouldn’t use her power in such a bad way.
Lillith heard the kettle boil and switch itself off, but she couldn’t lift her head off the bench. Her mind wandered to her night with Tristan, and it made her smile. Maybe she needed to focus on her present instead of her past. She was a teenage girl, in love with a perfect boy, and right now, that was all that mattered.
Lillith sat up and wiped her eyes. It was like someone had switched a light on. She could see clearly for the first time since finding out that she was a witch. She wasn’t evil. She might have been in a former life, but in this life, she wasn’t. She had a few people to convince, but most of them were locked up and awaiting trial, so they couldn’t hurt her, and the best way to convince them was just to be good, anyway. So why shouldn’t she just live, be happy and stop worrying?
Lillith made the teas and coffee, and carried them back into the sitting room.
Uma looked at her. Concern lined her face.
“I’m fine,” Lillith said as she handed her mam the tea. She gave Brody his coffee, and curled up on the sofa next to him.
Uma frowned. “Anything you’d like to ask?”
Lillith smiled and shook her head.
“Do you have anything to say?” Uma asked.
“I’m okay, honestly,” Lillith insisted.
“I know it’s a lot to take in, but it always helps to talk about it.”
“I know,” Lillith said. “But I don’t have anything to say. Lilly was a bad witch, but she was a different person. She’s not who I am now.”
Uma beamed. “Exactly,” she said.
“Yes she is,” Brody said.
Lillith glared at him.
Brody looked back. His face was earnest. “Just like Donovan is me. A spell was cast on us to turn us into babies, but we’re still them. Those things they did. That was us. That wasn’t us in a former life. It was us. We might not remember it, but we were responsible.”
Lillith trembled with anger towards Brody. Why would he say such a thing? Did he want her to feel bad? She was trying to come to terms with it all, had come to terms with it all, and now he was throwing it back in her face.
“How can you say such a thing?” she said. Her voice was raised.
Brody sipped his coffee. “Because it’s the truth,” he said, calmly.
Lillith shook her head. Tears welled in her eyes. “How can we be responsible for things we can’t remember doing?” she almost screeched.
“Who else is responsible?” Brody looked her in the eye and held her gaze.
Lillith breathed deeply. How could he be so willing to accept that he was evil? “So you’re okay with killing people?”
Brody shook his head. “No,” he said. “Of course not, but it happened. It’s the truth.”
Lillith felt like punching Brody. She wanted to pounce on him, hit him and not stop.
Uma spoke up before she could say anything else. “You’re both right,” she said, holding up her hands to stop them from arguing any more. “You are the witches who did those things. If there was a crime scene with DNA evidence, then you’d be convicted.”
Lillith’s stomach sank. She gulped, and looked at her mam.
Uma looked between Lillith and Brody. “However, you are different people. You got to restart your lives. You were brought up differently, had different early experiences, and have a completely different appreciation of magical power.”
“Yeah, like none at all,” Lillith scoffed.
“Which is not a bad thing, under the circumstances.” Uma sounded angry.
“At least evil me knew how to defend herself.” She knew it was a stupid thing to say. She was just annoyed.
Uma breathed in. “Is that how you really feel?”
Lillith stood up. She looked at her mam, then looked at Brody. Why did she feel persecuted? Should she have more sympathy for Brody? After all, he’d just been locked up for a few weeks. His outlook was going to be changed, and probably not positively, but she couldn’t do it. She was furious with him and couldn’t look at his face any more. She stormed out of the room, and slammed the door on her way out.
Upstairs, Lillith threw some items in a little case. She hadn’t asked Tristan if she could stay with him, but she didn’t think he’d mind, as she needed to be out of the house for a night or two. Lillith marched down the stairs, and put on her coat, scarf, hat and gloves. She paused, looking at the living room door, hearing talking, but not what was being said. No one came out to see her, or stop her. Did she even want them to? Lillith slammed the front door behind her, and wheeled her case to the caravan park.
Chapter 8: Plan to go to York
Tristan was surprised to see Lillith again so soon. She was still fuming when she arrived. Tristan simply took her case and popped it in the bedroom, then took her into the living area. Lillith didn’t know whether to scream, cry or collapse, but she started talking and didn’t stop. Uma’s story. Brody’s reaction. And some other things; feelings that she didn’t even know about until she’d said them out loud. Anger at Brody. Anger at her mam. Tristan listened without interrupting, as he usually did.
“I just had to get out,” Lillith said, for the third time. “I felt like I was suffocating in that house. It felt like both of them against me.” Lillith stopped for a breath. Brody and Uma thought different things, but she still felt like they were both against her. “Why do I always have to be the patient, understanding one?” she said. “I have feelings, too. I’ve been through a lot, and not all of it’s been easy to hear. I feel like everything that comes out of my mam’s mouth is a lie. Brody betrayed me, and I forgave him. Have I even had a thank you for that?” Lillith rambled on, spelling out the unfairness of everything.
She stood up and paced as she talked, or stared out of the window. Once or twice she sat down close to Tristan. Even feeling the warmth of his leg touching hers made her tingle and smile inside, but she didn’t want to feel happy, so she stood up and paced again.
Finally, she fell silent as she ran out of things to say. She sat down next to Tristan, and her head fell onto his shoulder. She felt like crying, but anger prevented any tears from forming in her eyes. Her breathing was shallow. Tristan wrapped his arm around her, and she felt the warmth of his chest on her cheek, and smelled his familiar scent. The rhythmic drumming of his heart beat soothed her. She breathed deeply a few times, then sat up. “Am I being ungrateful?” she asked, pitifully.
Tristan shook his head. “I think you’re being honest,” he said. “Perhaps the most honest you’ve been since I met you.” He looked at her with his intense brown eyes. “About this, anyway. I would’ve gone to pieces long ago. You’ve been so together, and so strong, but everyone’s got a snapping point. You’ve reached yours, I guess.”
Lillith looked at the floor. Snapping point; is that where she was? Or was it full on ‘breaking into a million pieces’ point?
Tristan stroked her arm. “You have the right to feel angry, Lillith.”
Lillith looked up, and melted at the sight of Tristan’s black eyes. She shook he
r head, and stroked his cheek, while gazing into his eyes. He leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips. She kissed back gladly. Her anger could wait.
A pounding at the door startled them both. It was dark outside, and they were cuddling in Tristan’s bed.
They heard a shout. “Lillith, are you in there?” It was Uma’s voice.
Lillith sat up. “What’s she doing here?”
Tristan rolled out of bed and put on some clothes. Lillith did the same, and they both went to the door. Uma stood outside, arms folded and a worried frown on her face. When the door swung open and she saw Lillith, the frown turned angry.
Lillith looked back, defiantly. “What do you want?” she asked, with maybe a little too much bitterness in her tone.
Uma shook her head, like that was the stupidest question Lillith could have asked. “I was worried,” she said, through gritted teeth. “But maybe you don’t care about that. Maybe it doesn’t cross your mind that other people have feelings, too.”
Lillith folded her arms, and stared at her mam. It seemed like all she did was think about other people’s feelings. This was the one and only time that she could remember acting on her own feelings. Could her mam really not understand?
Uma’s shoulders dropped. “Well, now I know you’re okay, at least,” she said, then turned and walked away.
Lillith watched her leave. She wondered if she should go after her, but thought better of it. They both needed to calm down, first. She shut the door and faced Tristan. “What’s her problem?” she said, moodily.
Tristan smiled. “She was worried. Did you let her know you were coming here?”
Lillith walked into the living area. “Can we put the fire on?” she asked. He nodded, and she turned the dial on the the black iron surround until it clicked. Flames leapt up and coated the white grate-like thing behind. “I should’ve texted her,” she said without looking up.
Tristan sat down on the seat behind Lillith. “Do you want to get away from here for a few days?”
She turned and looked at him. “Where?”
“York. I think different scenery might be just what you need.”
“York? Isn’t that where you used to live?”
“Exactly. We can stay with Charlie,” Tristan said, excitedly.
Charlie was Tristan’s old roommate. A girl, if Lillith remembered rightly. She frowned. “Or we could book into a cheap hotel. Have more of a romantic getaway.”
Tristan shook his head. “Staying with Charlie is perfect. We can ask her to introduce you to the under-grounders.”
“The under-grounders?”
“A bunch of witches, that’s all. They call themselves the under-grounders because they’re not in a coven, but they do meet up and look out for each other.”
Lillith smiled. “Like an anti-coven?”
Tristan laughed. “Yeah, kind of.”
“Why do I need to meet them?” she asked.
“Sometimes, you need to see all options before deciding on one.”
Lillith looked at the floor. He was talking about her joining the coven. She looked up. “Do you not want me to join the coven?” she asked.
“It’s not about what I want. But now you come to mention it, they haven’t exactly been welcoming, have they? All they’ve done is stifle you and fear you, and you don’t know anything else. I’d just like to show you a different perspective before you make any final decisions. That’s all.”
Lillith had never heard Tristan talking like this before. He sounded so passionate. She looked around. She could smell the heat from the fire. She’d been looking forward to a few days in this caravan with Tristan, just the two of them, but the thought of York was exciting, and it would get her away from everything for a while.
“Let’s do it,” she said.
“Great, we’ll leave first thing tomorrow.” He grinned. “You’d better let your mam know.”
Lillith looked for her phone. She had several missed calls and a few messages from Uma, Brody and Angela, all wondering where she was. They had been worried about her. Lillith felt guilty. She typed a quick message to her mam.
Sorry, just need to get my head around everything. Going to York for a few days. Talk when I get back.
“Done,” Lillith said, putting her phone down. “Now, I’m starving. What you got to eat?”
Chapter 9: In York – Meeting Charlie
Tristan tapped on the lilac door. Lillith was nervous. It wasn’t that she didn’t like meeting new people, it was just that she didn’t know whether this person from Tristan’s past would be altogether happy with them just turning up out of the blue. Why Tristan hadn’t called or text to arrange was beyond Lillith. She’d asked him to, several times. Each time, he’d simply laughed, shrugged and told her it was okay.
There was a clicking sound, and the door opened. A tall woman with short blonde hair stood in the doorway. Lillith assumed it was Charlie. She had brown eyes, and wore a black nose stud. Her dress was casual; a vest top with a cardigan thrown over it, and cropped combat trousers. She was lean and sporty-looking.
Tristan beamed. “Remember me?”
The woman had been looking at Lillith with a confused expression, but her face burst into a smile as she turned to Tristan. “Tris!” she exclaimed, happily. She lurched forward and threw her arms around him.
Tristan hugged her back, and they lingered for several moments. Lillith looked down. It was silly to feel jealous. Tristan had said they were friends, that was all.
“Who’s your friend?” the woman asked.
She looked up to see both sets of eyes looking at her.
“This is Lillith, my girlfriend,” Tristan said. “Lillith, this is Charlie.”
Lillith smiled. “Hi,” she said, rather quietly.
“Hello to you. Come on in.” Charlie held out her hand towards the inside of her flat.
Lillith went inside, followed by Tristan. She heard Charlie whisper, “Very nice,” which relaxed her a little and made her smile.
Charlie closed the door behind her and followed Lillith and Tristan inside. “Sit down, make yourself at home, and I’ll put the kettle on,” she said, quickly turning off the TV, which had been paused on It’s A Wonderful Life.
Lillith perched on a brown settee in front of a large window, where deep purple curtains were still drawn and stretched from the ceiling to the floor. She instantly sank into it’s soft cushions. Tristan sat next to her, and immediately relaxed into it. Charlie walked through a different door, which presumably led to the kitchen.
The apartment was small and eclectic, with lilac walls. A large TV was attached to one wall, and took up most of it. The other walls held paintings and pictures depicting different things: a sea scene, a ballerina, an Impressionist picture of an elephant, and several with swirls of colours. Every surface also had something on it, making it look cluttered. A stack of magazines and some books, as well several ornaments that suggested either a love of travel or animals. A small silver Christmas tree sat on a table near her, and that was the only Christmas decoration she could see.
Charlie appeared at the door. “Tea or coffee?”
Lillith smiled. “Tea, please. Black, no sugar.”
Charlie looked at Tristan next. “Coffee for you?”
“That’d be lovely,” Tristan replied.
Charlie gave a thumbs up, then walked back out of the room. Lillith noted that she hadn’t needed to ask Tristan how he took his coffee. Why did it bother her that another girl knew her boyfriend better than she did? She looked at the floor and at the fraying rug that covered most of it. It’d been grey once. She could tell by the edges. Now, it was patchy, and altered by wear and tear.
“You all right?” Tristan asked, stroking her arm.
Lillith flinched, not expecting his touch.
She turned and smiled. “Yeah,” she said, hoping she sounded sincere.
“It must be a bit strange for you,”
Lillith shook her head. “It must be stran
ger for you. You used to live here.”
He looked down, and breathed out. “It’s bringing back a few memories,” he said.
Lillith remembered that this was one of the first places Tristan had come after his parents had died. Charlie had helped him to come to terms with their death. She’d given him a home, got him a job, and helped him to function again. Their bond was something that Lillith could never replicate. She wondered if that’s why she felt so jealous, and silently berated herself for being so selfish. She reached out and held Tristan’s hand in hers.
Tristan looked up, and they held each other’s gaze for several moments. Lillith saw sadness in his deep black eyes, and also, possibly, the hint of tears. She squeezed his hand. He squeezed hers back, then blinked, let go, and sat forward, just as Charlie walked into the room cradling three mugs.
Charlie leant over a coffee table in the middle of the room, made some space with her elbow, then almost dropped the three cups onto it. It was a wonder that none of them spilled. She then picked up one of the mugs by the rim and held it towards Lillith with the handle facing her. “Tea; black, no sugar,” she announced.
Lillith took the tea. “Thanks,” she said, smiling.
Charlie passed Tristan his mug in the same way. He beamed, took the mug and immediately smelled the contents. “Ah, you always did make the best coffee,” he said.
Lillith wondered why it was so good, and felt that twang of jealousy again. This was going to be a long visit.
“So what brings you here?” Charlie asked, as she slurped some of her own drink and dropped into a chair.
Tristan sat forward, and placed his coffee on the table. “Lillith’s had a bad time lately. I thought it’d be nice to bring her here.”
Ashes: Witches of Whitley Bay Book 2 Page 6
