“And my aunt didn’t know where she’d stashed it?”
He shakes his head. “Your mom wouldn’t tell her because she said it wasn’t safe.”
“Maybe he found it and destroyed it,” Jackson says. “I know that’s what I’d do.”
“But you’re not a psycho.”
“That’s debatable,” Sawyer deadpans, and Jackson flips him off.
“My father would hoard the evidence like a trophy, because it was the first nail in your father’s coffin,” I say to Kai. “This vendetta they have against one another has consumed them. My father would gloat over the evidence and take it out whenever he wanted a reminder he’s King Big Dick.”
Jackson chuckles, inhaling a long drag from his joint.
“If that’s the case, then your father has more than just the evidence of my mom’s murder,” Kai says, sitting upright.
“He has evidence of all his crimes,” I murmur, getting excited. Of course, he does! Why have I never considered this before?
“Where would he store that?” Sawyer asks. “Think carefully, Abby.”
“I’ve already thought about it,” I admit, “and there are any number of places in that creepy mansion he could hide it.” I prop my butt on the edge of the couch. “But I don’t think it’s there.” Three sets of eyes lock on mine. “I think it’s at Parkhurst.”
Sawyer and Kai stare at one another.
“What?” I ask, my tone laced with suspicion.
“We’ve considered the same thing,” Sawyer admits.
“But that place is a fucking fortress,” Kai says. “There’s no way we’d get in and out of there undetected, and that’s if we even knew where to look.”
“We don’t,” I say, leaning forward. “But my brother might.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“We need to mend bridges with Drew and Charlie. We need to resume working as a team again. Xavier included,” I say, because it’s the only logical choice.
“It’s too risky,” Kai says, shifting on the couch and avoiding eye contact.
“They can’t be trusted,” Sawyer agrees, casting a surreptitious glance at Kai that doesn’t escape my notice.
Why are they being so cagey? We all worked together before. Until they screwed us over. But we still have a common enemy and reconciling is not insurmountable.
“I don’t see that we’ve other options,” I argue. “Hiding out here indefinitely is not a good idea, because nothing is moving forward. It’s only a matter of time before my father finds us. It’s best to tackle it head-on. Let me contact Drew. See if he can make a deal with my father in exchange for him calling off the hitman on Kai.”
“Absolutely not.” Kai jumps up, stalking toward me. His hands automatically move to my stomach. “It’s not safe for you or the baby.” His features soften as they always do when he’s talking about our child.
It was even easier than I thought.
My stomach flips, and I quickly switch the subject. “My father isn’t the only one looking for us. There’s also your father and the Montgomerys. We’re like sitting ducks just waiting here.”
“Dad’s obsessed with regaining his land and his business,” Kai says, “and he knows I’m pissed. He won’t come near us for a while.”
I don’t believe that for one second, and I doubt he does either. “C’mon, Kai. Stop trying to shelter me. Your father orchestrated my pregnancy to use it as leverage. He won’t stop until we’re back under his control.” I take his hands in mine. “It’s only a matter of time before Harley caves and tells him where we are. Your father will take advantage of his good nature and manipulate him into it somehow.”
“Abby is right,” Jackson says, crossing his feet at the ankles. “We’re on borrowed time.”
We all trade worried looks. And while no one confirms it, we all know our days here are numbered.
I’ve been in bed for hours, but I can’t sleep. I told the guys I was tired and headed to bed early, but it was a lie. I couldn’t stomach looking at Kai knowing what I’ve done and what I need to do. It’s weighing on my mind, and the more I think about it, the more I’m feeling all the emotions I denied myself. I’m close to breaking, and I’m scared. I was hurt when I decided to play him at his own game. I wanted to make him pay for his betrayal, but I fear all I’ve done is hurt myself.
I’m going to lose him, and I’ll deserve it.
Because it was a despicable thing to do. And now I’m thinking more clearly, I wish I hadn’t sunk so low.
I don’t want to lose Kai.
Because I love him.
I love him so much, and I wish things were different.
I wish I didn’t have to break his heart.
The door opens quietly, and my breath hitches in my throat. Kai pads across the floor toward the bed, and I don’t disguise the fact I’m awake. He sits on the side of the bed, brushing hair back off my face. “What’s wrong?”
“Everything,” I whisper.
“Hey.” He sweeps his thumbs under my eyes, catching the moisture pooling there. “It’ll be okay. I’m not letting anything happen to you.”
I scoot sideways, folding back the covers. “Can you hold me?” This might be my last chance to feel his arms around me.
Wordlessly, he climbs in beside me, and I roll over onto my other side, unable to look at him with my treacherous eyes. He hauls me against him, until my back is pressed solidly against his front, and I close my eyes, savoring the feel of his arms as they go around my waist, and the comforting warmth emanating from his body. “I’ll hold you every night if you let me,” he whispers against my ear, sending shivers cascading over me. He tightens his grip, in a wholly protective manner, and tears spill out of my eyes.
Why did I deny myself this? Why did I cling to the hatred and the betrayal instead of forgiving him when it became clear he was being honest with me?
I could blame my hormones.
Or my fucked-up upbringing that causes me to do whatever is necessary to survive.
But concealing this was low. Cruel. Deliberately hurtful.
And it seems so pointless now.
“Don’t cry, baby. I know you’re scared, but we’ll figure out a solution.”
He thinks he knows the reason for these tears, but he’s clueless.
“It’s why we’ve been locked away in Hunt’s office,” he continues. “I know you think I was cutting you out, but I wasn’t.” His hands slide lower, palming my stomach. “You shouldn’t have to worry about any of this shit. Your sole priority is nurturing our little one.” His hand rubs across my belly, burning me through my sheer nightdress. He presses feather-soft kisses to my neck, and my chest is heaving with unimaginable pain. “And I want to start planning.” His hand is scorching hot on my belly now, as if my skin is on fire, and I can’t handle it. “I’ve kept a note of some names I like, and I have an idea about where we can go after the baby is born, to keep him or her away from our fathers, and I—”
“Stop!” I cry out, wriggling out of his hold. Wracking sobs rip from my soul as I bolt upright in the bed. I face him with tears streaming down my face. “Don’t say another word. I can’t hear it.”
Concern shimmers in his eyes as he sits up, opening his arms and attempting to draw me back into his body. “What’s wrong, baby?”
I wet my lips and swipe at the hot tears coursing down my face. “I… I… I have something I need to tell you.”
“Okay.” He scoots closer, and I jump up, unable to bear his touch. His eyes examine my face, and his chest heaves. “Just spit it out.” His tone is even, but his face betrays his burgeoning fear.
“I should’ve told you this when I first arrived, but I wanted to make you pay.”
He eyeballs me, imploring me to continue.
“You lied to me, Kai! You tricked me into thinking you were someone else, and for weeks, while they imprisoned me at Parkhurst, I wondered if everything was a lie. If you were in on the pregnancy plan too.”
“I told
you I wasn’t. I would never do that to you.”
“I know,” I whisper, pacing in front of the bed. “I know that now.”
“What are you saying, Abby?” He climbs out of bed, but keeps his distance, staring at me cautiously.
“I was still so angry. I wanted you to feel what it felt like to be deceived. To believe you had something, but it was all a lie.”
“What are you lying about?” He steps toward me, and I instinctively take a step back. “What have you done?”
“I’m sorry,” I blurt, and wracking sobs fill the silent space around us.
The bars around my heart shatter, and it all comes out.
Weeks of unacknowledged grief.
Unbearable loss.
Intense heartbreak.
It culminates in a barrage of internal pain and self-loathing.
I scream, and it’s birthed straight from my blackened soul. I can scarcely see him through the river of tears blurring my eyes. “I wanted to hurt you, and this will kill you, but it’s killed me too!”
His face portrays his own inner battle, and I sense he’s torn between wanting to comfort me and fearing the unknown. “Tell me, Abby.”
“I…” My voice chokes as more tears clogs my throat. My stomach churns as I cry, and the transparent terror on his face sends me over the edge. “I’m sorry.” I back toward the door. “I can’t.”
I race out of the bedroom, down the stairs, and out through the front door, running across the front field, directionless and with no plan except to flee the anguished look on his face.
I can’t say the words out loud.
Because then it’s real.
I hardly feel the light snowdrops landing on my body as I run or the icy chill underfoot as I race barefoot along the grass. The snow isn’t sticking because it was raining earlier, but the terrain underfoot is soft, and my feet sink into the ground, splashing mud against my calves.
“Abby! Stop!” Kai calls out, giving chase.
I keep running even though I know it’s futile.
“Stop.” He appears in front of me, spinning around and holding my shoulders to halt my forward trajectory. “Just stop.”
“You’ll hate me,” I sob. “I know it, because I hate myself.” I drop to my knees, burying my head in my hands, sobbing my heart out. There isn’t a single cell in my body that isn’t in agony as pain batters me from all sides.
He sinks to the muddy ground in front of me. “I need to know the truth, Abby. If this is about the baby—”
“There is no baby!” I sob, lifting my head to look at him. He deserves to hear this face to face. “The bastard took them!” I can barely speak over the heavy weight pressing down on my chest. A numbed shock splays across his face. “It was twins,” I whisper.
My sobs mix with his heavy breathing, sounding loud in the otherwise still night air.
“Tell me everything.” His voice is monotone, and if it wasn’t for the tortured expression on his face, I’d think he was devoid of feeling.
“I spent the first couple weeks at Parkhurst confined to bed in a constant drugged state, so I didn’t properly understand,” I explain in a shaky voice. “Until my father gave me an envelope. Inside was a medical report confirming the successful abortion of twin fetuses.” More tears leak out of my eyes, but I force myself to continue because I owe this to him. “He also included a list of everyone I love with a promise that if I didn’t conform to his plan, he would start killing them one by one.” I eyeball him. “You were top of the list.”
“Twins?” he croaks. “It was twins?”
I nod. I thought it was hereditary, but now, I’m guessing it was the fertility drugs.
“Why would he do that?” Kai asks. “Keeping you and the baby—babies…” He corrects himself, and tears shimmer in his eyes, destroying me anew. “Keeping them alive was his best leverage. All he had to do was keep you from marrying me, and then the shares were his.”
“I have some theories,” I admit, sniffling. “I think this is bigger than Manning Motors. That’s only one part of several moving pieces, and me not being pregnant out of wedlock was more important.” Acid crawls up my throat. “It removes any impediment to marrying Charlie,” I add, and I expect his dark scowl. “But mainly, I think he did it to spite your father. To take away his insurance plan. To ensure he didn’t share a grandchild with him. And…” Air whooshes out of my mouth. “He did it to break me. To show me he owns me body and soul, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
I cup my bigger bust as a sour taste floods my mouth. “For years, he wanted me to have breast augmentation surgery, and I always refused.”
Kai’s jaw hardens. “He did that to you while you were knocked out?”
I nod. “At first, when I noticed, it gave me hope because I thought it meant I was still pregnant, but after he confirmed he’d forced an abortion on me, I knew what he’d done.” My heart hardens, and my tears dry up. “I couldn’t figure it out because there are no scars on my boobs, but he gave me this literature on the surgical options once, and I remembered there’s a less common procedure where they go in through your armpit, so I’m guessing that’s how it was done.”
I glance down at them. “I hate them. I never wanted bigger boobs. I was happy with the ones I had.” Tears prick the backs of my eyes again. “But mostly, it’s because every time I look at them, I’m reminded of what he’s done.”
My chest heaves, and another onslaught of tears arrives. I wrap my arms around my waist, rocking back and forth as I cry. This is what I get for locking all my feelings up and denying my grief an outlet. “He took our babies, Kai!” I cry out. “He murdered them with no guilt or remorse.”
My piercing screams penetrate the air, spurring Kai into action. He takes me into his arms, and I cling to him, needing his comfort, as I scream and scream, finally letting it all out
When my screams die out, I rest my head on his shoulder, circling my arms more tightly around his neck. His woodsy, citrusy scent wraps around me like a comfort blanket. “If he can do that, he’ll do anything,” I say, sniffling. “I’ve always known he was a monster, a psycho, but this proves there’s literally nothing he won’t do to achieve his aims.” I shiver, but I don’t know if it’s the snow covering me in a light, wet layer or the reality of our situation. “He doesn’t care, Kai.” I bury my face in his neck. “And I think he might have succeeded.”
I peer deep into his eyes. “He’s destroyed me, and I’ll never recover from this.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Kaiden
I hover over her bed, watching her sleep, wanting to soothe her and kill her at the same time. She cried herself to sleep in my arms, and I reined in my emotions, but they need an outlet. Or I’m liable to hurt her.
And though I’m beyond enraged, I don’t want to hurt her, because she’s already in her own personal hell.
The circle must end.
But first I need to deal with my fucked-up emotions.
I tiptoe out of the room, quietly closing the door behind me. I walk with purpose toward the kitchen where I know Hunt and Lauder are waiting for me. Her screaming and crying in the bedroom must have woken them up, and they fled outside after me. I appreciated that they hung back, but I knew they would want to know.
“Is she okay?” Lauder asks, worry evident on his face.
My fists shake with violent urges, and I’d happily take my aggression out on his face. He’s crossing a line with her, and he knows it. “She’s asleep, but she’s not okay.”
“What is it?” Hunt asks, handing me a bottle of bourbon.
I uncap the bottle and knock back a few mouthfuls. The burn coasting down my throat is welcome, but it doesn’t come close to matching the burn inside my veins. “Her father aborted the babies while she was unconscious.”
Lauder drops his mug, and it shatters into smithereens on the floor. “Babies?” he queries, his face ashen.
I nod. “She was carrying twins.” I take another gl
ug of whiskey.
“She deceived you.” Hunt’s penetrating gaze locks on mine. “Why?”
“Payback.” I swipe another mouthful of whiskey, before setting the bottle down on the island. While getting drunk is tempting, that’s not what I need.
“I can’t say I blame her,” Lauder admits as he picks up pieces of broken porcelain off the floor.
“And I can’t say I’m surprised you’d pick her side,” I snap.
“I understand it to a point,” Hunt says. “Because she didn’t know if you’d deliberately gotten her pregnant, but she should’ve fessed up once she knew the truth.” He shakes his head. “I’m disappointed in her.”
“I lied to her about who I was, and we’ve all seen evidence of her anger.” I flatten my palms on the counter as fury builds momentum inside me. I’m trying to hold on to that thought, because I know I’ve hurt her and lied to her and I know this is how Abby copes. She doesn’t take things lying down. Her fighting spirit and her survival instincts are some of the things I love most about her.
But I’m so fucking mad she tricked me.
All week, she’s let me believe she was pregnant.
All week, I’ve been harboring notions of us as a family, and I’ve been actively making plans.
All week, I’ve been living a charade because none of it was real.
“That doesn’t excuse it,” Sawyer says. “She’s gone out of her way to piss you off since you arrived, and now this?” He arches a brow, and an overwhelming urge to defend her sweeps over me.
“She was hurting, Hunt.” I rub the dull ache spreading across my chest. “Look at everything she’s been through. She wanted to hurt me back and regain some control, and I can’t hold that against her. Not after all the shit I’ve done to her.” The words imprint on my heart and my soul, making me realize my anger is misplaced. He slowly nods, getting it.
Yes, I’m pissed she did it. And I’m hurting over our loss.
But it’s not her I’m angry with.
The murderous rage I feel toward Michael Hearst is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. I’ve spent the best part of my life hating him, and his assault on Abby only compounded it.
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