by Anne Herries
‘Annulled?’ Zander’s eyes narrowed and then nodded. ‘He did not need proof, because I was called from home on my wedding night. It was a false alarm and now I understand what lay behind it. What a scheming knave he is…’ He shook his head. ‘We shall speak privately of these things, Elaine. Why did he allow you to leave?’
‘He does not know,’ Elaine replied. ‘Anne tried to drug me again with her foul potions, but Marion poured the mixture away and I pretended to sleep. I thought that Anne might have guessed I was not truly asleep and feared she would alert her brother, but for some reason she did not. We waited until it was late and then slipped away when everyone was retiring for the night.’
‘You must have walked all night.’ Zander suddenly realised that she was exhausted. He saw her swaying from tiredness. ‘I am a brute to question you. Forgive me…’ Regret cut through him. She had exhausted herself escaping and he treated her as though she were his enemy. In truth he did not deserve her! He was beyond all hope of redemption.
Elaine sighed and stumbled as he moved towards her. He swept her up in his arms and put her into the cart and Bertrand did the same for Marion.
‘We must thank God that we came upon them by chance,’ Bertrand said. ‘If we had not passed this way, we might have missed them—and, had we gained entrance to the castle, it would all have been for nothing.’
‘I think this time God was on our side,’ Zander said and glanced at the women as Bertrand turned the cart. He made the sign of the Cross over himself and felt the relief pulse through him. He had come very close to losing her. ‘Once we have them safe there will be time enough to decide how to punish Philip.’
Elaine lay on her bed and wept. Her tiredness had soon passed once her women had brought her hot scented water to bathe and clean clothes. She had eaten soft bread and honey and drunk a little weak ale. After an hour or so had passed, she felt better physically, but still her heart ached.
Zander had looked so angry when he’d seen her. Her heart had soared with hope when she first knew him and she’d run to him, believing that he would catch her in his arms and hold her to him, as Bertrand had held Marion, but instead, he’d just looked at her coldly—almost as if he hated her.
How could he look at her that way? Even though he’d seemed concerned when he realised she was exhausted and lifted her into the cart, she could not convince herself that he loved her as Bertrand loved Marion.
What had she done to anger him?
She wiped away her tears and sat up. She was innocent of any crime, but it seemed that all men were the same—they all sought to dominate or use a woman for their own purposes. Women were used as bargaining tools, for power, land or money. Some men wanted to use them to satisfy their lusts, others only to breed their heirs. Elaine was not sure why Lord Stornway had tried to force her into marriage. He could surely have taken anything he wanted from her.
Elaine’s heart ached, because she had believed that Zander was different. She’d kept his image enshrined in her heart, imagining that if only he would return to her, her dreams would all come true—but it seemed that she had deceived herself. He was no different from all the others.
The feeling of betrayal and disillusion made her want to weep again, but she refused to stay here in her chamber weeping. She was the chatelaine of this manor and Zander’s wife—even if he had regretted their hasty marriage.
Did he imagine that she had gone to Lord Stornway because she secretly admired him and regretted her marriage? Was that why he’d looked at her so coldly?
Elaine had heard stories of women stolen from their husbands and then disgraced by their captors. When they were returned to their homes they often found themselves reviled and obliged to retire to a nunnery, because their husbands could no longer bear to look at them.
If Zander thought so ill of her…
She heard a knock at her door and then his voice, asking if he might enter her chamber. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she bid him welcome and he opened the door, looking at her oddly as he entered.
‘Elaine,’ he said hesitantly. ‘Forgive me if I hurt you earlier. I had feared…many things and seeing you apparently free…I did not know what to think.’
‘Did you believe that Lord Stornway sent me back to you as spoiled goods?’
A tiny pulse flicked at his temple and she knew that he had considered the possibility. ‘I am still the virgin I was when you left me to take the Cross,’ she said in a voice of ice. ‘When you did not come to me on our wedding night I slept and in the morning I cut my finger and sprinkled blood on my sheets, for I would not have my ladies know I was still a virgin. I lied to Lord Stornway and told him the marriage had been consummated when he wanted to have it annulled—but he bribed the priest to give his consent and would have forced me to wed him.’
‘Marion and Bertrand have told me it all,’ Zander said. ‘I did not doubt your loyalty, but I know him now for the villain he is and he might have done anything. I thank God that you were not harmed when he had you at his mercy.’
‘I do not know why he wished me to be his wife—unless it was because he wished to possess what was yours.’ Elaine was thoughtful. ‘I think he would not have bothered with me had I not been betrothed and then wed to you.’
‘Why should Philip be so jealous of me? We were as brothers once.’
‘Were Cain and Abel not brothers?’
‘You speak truly,’ Zander said and then held out a hand to her. ‘Will you forgive me for deserting you?’
Elaine was not ready to give in so easily. He had left her and then, after he was attacked, he had sent only one messenger. ‘Why did you not send word? Did it never occur to you that one messenger might not get through to me—that I might be anxious for your sake? Or did you think that I had betrayed you?’ Her eyes widened in pain for the thought tore at her.
‘How could I think so ill of you? It never crossed my mind that you would play such a wicked trick.’
‘Then why did you not come to me—or send someone to tell me you were alive?’
‘I had so few men left to me and I did not know who I could trust. Janvier was badly wounded saving my life. He covered me with his body when they tried to hack me to death—and when my men finally drove them off he was more dead than alive. I felt I needed to care for him myself, for he has done so much for me.’
‘I understand that you would nurse him, because he once saved your life—but had you no thought of me? Surely you knew I would be anxious?’
‘I thought Eric would have told you. I was away for years at the crusades and you did not expect a message from me.’ He sighed with exasperation. ‘It was but a few weeks…Forgive me. I know you suffered. Marion told me that you were forever at your window. She said that you would not eat or sleep.’
Elaine tossed her head, angry that he needed her maidservant to tell him what he should have known. ‘She would do better to hold her tongue.’
‘She loves you, Elaine. I offered her land and a pension, but she would not take it. She and Bertrand will marry, but they will not leave your service.’
‘Lord Stornway offered them land, too,’ Elaine said. ‘Bertrand did not trust him. He suspected him of wrongdoing and it seems he was right.’
‘I wish I had been as wary.’ Zander frowned. ‘Philip had you at his mercy at the castle. Anything might have happened. Yet I thought him my friend—how could I know he hated me?’
‘I think Anne hates you, too. Does she have cause?’
Zander looked thoughtful, then nodded, ‘Perhaps. I have learned that she loved a knight by the name of Sir Jonquil. He was the bloodthirsty brute who murdered innocents. When he was denounced he tried to blame his crimes on me and I fought him single-handed—it was his death or mine. I would have spared him at the end, but the King commanded that he die by the sword, as he had lived.’
‘Then I understand why she hates you,’ Elaine said. ‘But I do not know why her brother should plot to steal your wife and
have you murdered.’
‘I believe it has something to do with my father,’ Zander said. ‘The only thing I knew for sure was that someone had him beaten to death—Philip told me it was the Earl of Newark, but now I think that may have been a lie…that he might have done the evil deed himself.’
‘Why would Philip have your father murdered?’
‘If I knew that…’ Zander shook his head. ‘I intend to call a truce with Newark. If he wishes for peace between us, he will return Howarth to us.’
‘He killed my uncle and tried to capture me.’ Elaine raised her head. ‘I cannot forgive so easily.’
‘I cannot fight two enemies,’ Zander said, looking at her in a strangely defensive manner. ‘You think I should avenge your uncle? I can see it in your eyes, though you do not demand it.’
‘No, that is not so,’ Elaine said. She wanted to go to him and tell him that all she wanted was to live with him in peace. ‘I ask nothing of you.’ She wanted so much! She wanted him to love her as he once had, with all his heart, but she was not sure that he knew how to love. He might at times call her by sweet names, but words alone meant nothing. Love was in the closeness, the sharing of all things good and bad that a true marriage entailed.
‘I must deal with Stornway,’ Zander said. ‘What he did cannot be ignored. If he joined forces with Newark, I would not have enough men to defend you. Somehow I must make an alliance with one or the other.’
‘I know,’ Elaine said and her breath caught in her throat. ‘Yet I would beg you not to leave me again just yet, my lord. Will you not wait until your uncle sends his reply to your request for help?’
‘I have sent envoys to him,’ Zander said. ‘Christ’s Mass is almost upon us and we should not make war at such a holy time. Besides, I would hear what Philip has to say. From what Marion tells me there is only her and Bertrand’s word for what he intended. If I make war on the King’s Marshal for no good reason, I should be an outcast. I must wait until I have proof.’
‘Is my word not good enough for you?’
‘You were ill. Who can say why? He would say he sought merely to protect you for your own sake. Philip has friends in high places. The king will return to England soon and he might choose to listen to his marshal above me. No, Elaine, I can only wait for Philip to make the next move against me. In the meantime…’ He hesitated, then, ‘We should celebrate the season of Christ’s birth and…’
‘And?’ Elaine asked, because her heart was racing. She looked into his eyes and saw the heat of desire, her knees beginning to tremble as she read what was in his mind.
Zander took a step towards her. ‘I think it is time our marriage was consummated. We must make certain that no one can claim it is no true marriage again. Next time, Philip will have to make certain that I am dead before he can claim you.’
Elaine’s mouth was dry, her heart beating so wildly that she thought he must hear it. He was not telling her that he loved her—only that he meant to consummate their marriage. It might mean nothing to him, but it meant everything to her.
‘Yes, my lord,’ she said so softly that she could not be certain he had heard her. ‘I think it is time.’
‘I shall come to you this night, Elaine.’ He smiled at her. ‘Be ready for me and try to forgive me for leaving you to the mercy of evil men…’
‘I never blamed you,’ she whispered when she could speak, but he had already gone.
Elaine stared at the door he’d closed softly behind him. Her body was weak with longing and she wished that he’d taken her into his arms at once rather than waiting for nightfall, but perhaps the gentle side of loving meant less to Zander. To him it was merely a way of laying claim to his wife and her lands.
‘If you are no true wife, you will be after tonight,’ Marion said as she brushed Elaine’s long hair so that it flowed loose on her shoulders and down her back. She brought her a gown of white gauze that showed the pale pink of her skin underneath. ‘Lord Zander has made it plain to all that he longs to lie with you this night. He has vowed that nothing will keep him from your side this time—and if the village calls for help his knights must go alone.’
Elaine blushed. Some of the jests made in the hall that night had been so suggestive that she had felt uncomfortable. Instead of controlling his knights, Zander had joined in the laughter and she’d wanted to run away and hide, yet she knew why he allowed such coarseness. There would be no doubt after this night that Zander de Bricasse had claimed his bride.
Elaine had sat and smiled throughout the evening, though inside she had longed to run back to her chamber. Yet she had known that this was all a part of making her safe. Once she was Zander’s wife in truth there would be no more talk of annulments—only his death would release her then.
A shiver went through her and Marion looked at her in surprise.
‘You are not afraid, my lady?’
‘Of my lord coming to me?’ Elaine shook her head and smiled. ‘No, I was thinking of…It does not matter. I refuse to think of anything but love tonight.’
They heard laughter outside the door and then Zander’s voice firmly bidding his knights ‘goodeven’. They departed with more jests and the door opened. Zander entered, his eyes moving over Elaine hungrily.
‘Forgive me, my lord,’ Marion said and made a hasty curtsy. ‘I wish you both goodnight.’
She sent a laughing glance at Elaine and scurried away.
Elaine’s heart was beating wildly. She rose to her feet, her mouth slightly dry, her knees feeling a little weak. He looked so handsome in the long black gown he wore, the hem embroidered with gold thread and beads. She noticed that the scar on his left cheek looked less inflamed and thought that perhaps it had begun to heal at last. Perhaps he had used the poultice she’d made for him. His mouth was soft and sensual as he smiled and walked towards her.
‘Were you ready for me, my love?’ he asked in a voice husky with desire. ‘You are so beautiful. I dreamed of seeing you this way so many times while I was away, Elaine. When I lay close to death and Janvier cared for me so faithfully, it was my memories of you that brought me through.’
‘Do you truly mean it, Zander?’ Elaine breathed, moving towards him. Suddenly, any fear of the marriage bed she might have had had gone and she felt a surge of longing and need sweep through her. His anger and her doubts were forgotten as she held out her hands and he took them. ‘I have always loved you—only you.’
‘I know it,’ he said. ‘I am not worthy of you, Elaine. I was a foolish youth who looked for glory and revenge when I should have seen the happiness that could be mine was there for the taking. Can you forgive me?’
‘Willingly,’ she said and lifted her face for his kiss.
His lips were soft at first, touching lightly here and there as they caressed her, then his tongue flicked at her and she opened her mouth, allowing him to enter and taste her. The sweetness of the gentle probing made her tremble and she reached up shyly to run her fingers into his hair at the nape of his neck, stroking him. He moaned low in his throat and his arms tightened about her as the kiss intensified.
Elaine sighed and pressed closer to him, feeling the hard heat of his arousal through the softness of the material that divided them. It thrilled her to feel the urgency in him and she tipped her head back as he kissed her throat, her body arching into his as she felt herself swept on the crest of a surging wave of desire.
Zander bent and swept her up into his arms, carrying her to the bed and sitting her down; then he took hold of her fine night-chemise and pulled it up over her head, discarding it on the floor.
‘You are even more lovely than in my dreams,’ he murmured and knelt before her. ‘I vow that I shall always protect and honour you, my lady.’
‘I love you,’ Elaine whispered, her throat tight with emotion.
‘Lie down for me, my love,’ he said and then threw off his robe. He was wearing some tight-fitting hose and long soft boots. Sitting on the bed beside her, as she watched, he
pulled off the boots and then let down the hose by untying the strings at his waist. In another moment he was as naked as she.
Now it was Elaine’s turn to gasp in wonder at the beauty of his body. Tanned by the years he’d spent in the sun of the Holy Land, honed to perfect fitness, it was not spoiled even by the fresh bruises and hardly healed cuts now revealed to her. Yet what made her draw her breath was the size of his aroused manhood, for he was a large, vital man in every way.
As he lay down by her side, she reached out to touch some of the fresh wounds. He had made light of them, but it was obvious that he had been severely injured in the ambush.
‘Do these hurt?’
‘I take no notice of them. Had Janvier not covered me with his body I might have died. He was so very ill. I could not leave him, Elaine. He has saved my life twice and I would not do less for him—besides, I thought it best to remain hidden while we were so weak. If my enemy had known where to find me…’
‘I would never betray you. Surely you knew that?’
‘But neither of us knew for sure who that enemy was…you understand my dilemma?’
‘Yes, of course. I have forgiven you.’
Zander shuddered as a breath of air left his lips. He reached out to touch her face, cradling it with his hands. For a long moment he simply looked into her eyes and then he smiled. He leaned down and kissed her brow, then the tip of her nose and her lips. His kisses trailed down her white neck, down to the valley between her small but firm breasts. His mouth sought first one nipple and then the other, sucking delicately and nudging at her with his tongue, licking her with firm strokes that made her arch and cry out in pleasure.
His tongue and lips continued their downward spiral, giving pleasure wherever they touched, until he reached the very centre of her sexuality. When his mouth sucked at Her and his tongue stroked, she bucked and screamed with pleasure, her body shaking and trembling. Her hands clawed at his shoulders, her nails scoring little trails on his bronzed skin as she felt herself swept away on a tide of sensual pleasure.
