by T. J. LONG
As soon as I hit send, I hear a phone chime. My head tilts to the side.
I type out another text.
Me: Probably going to leave soon.
I hit send and the chime comes again. What the hell?
I get up to explore, knowing there is no way that’s a coincidence. There’s a door to the left, which I’m assuming goes to a bedroom or a bathroom. I wonder if he’s passed out drunk in there. His friends are dicks enough to leave him like that.
I turn the knob and gently push the door open. I’m met by two pale asscheeks pumping fast up and down. A girl purrs, “Oh, yes, right there.”
My eyes close as I squeeze the innocent doorknob to death. My breath is coming in spurts. “Calm down, breathe,” I mumble to myself. I take in calming, deep breaths. “Please, please tell me that isn’t Jed.”
He must hear the door open because he turns in my direction. Baby blues. That fucking dick.
He smiles at me while still fucking the girl. Apparently she doesn’t realize they have company, or maybe she just doesn’t care.
I don’t know why I continue standing there, but my feet and my brain haven’t worked out that we need to go, now.
“Wanna join?” his strained voice says while he pumps faster into the girl, causing her to scream his name.
“Oh, Jed.” A shiver runs through me and I want to punch his lights out. “You’re an asshole,” is all I get out before my feet finally allow me to retreat.
I slam the bedroom door and storm out of the pool house only to fall right into the arms of Tristan. “What the fuck,” I scream.
As if taken aback by my unruly behavior, he studies me and asks if I’m okay.
I can feel myself losing it. “Am I okay?” I look at him like he’s delusional. “Hmm, let me think about that?” I bring my pointer finger to my chin. “No! I’m not okay. I searched forever for my date, only to walk in on him screwing someone else.”
His face falls, and he looks hurt for me.
The girls call from the pool for him: “Tristey, come and play with us. We’re bored without you.”
My eyes roll. Tristey? Really?
I give him my best bitch face. “You better go. It seems Dumb and Dumber want you.”
He pulls at my arm as I walk away. “Taylor, wait,” he calls after me, but I don’t want to see anyone right now, so I pull away and make a run for it.
No one can catch me, thanks to years of track.
I make it to the front of the house in less than one minute, a feat given how big the property is, and text Ann to ask if she can take me home. Before I get a response, Tristan comes huffing and puffing around the house with his hands on his hips.
“You're too damn fast.”
“Not really, ‘cause here you are.” I look him up and down.
“What happened back there?” He pauses to catch his breath. “Who was your date?”
“Why do you care?” I yell, arms in the air. I’m too frustrated for this. I just want to cry, and I can’t do that here.
I look at my phone and see Ann hasn’t even read the message. I pace. I want to go home. I put my hand on my forehead and rub. “Ugh.”
“Look, I can give you a ride if you want.”
Anxiety and desperation have me nodding my head yes without a second of hesitation.
The car ride is quiet, which is exactly what I want. I don’t want to relive that mortifying moment of walking in on Jed again.
Right before we pull into my development, Tristan stares at me. I can feel his curiosity penetrating me. I know he wants to know what happened.
“It was Jed,” I say without turning my head. “I know you would ask again, so there you go.”
His fingers tighten on the steering wheel, turning a weird shade of peachy white. He mumbles inaudibly.
“What are you saying over there?”
“I told you you needed to watch out for those guys. They aren’t good for you, Taylor,” he says as he pulls up to my house.
My eyes are welling with tears, tears from being humiliated tonight, from remembering how Tristan cheated on me, even from Josh denying me. All the memories flood me, making my throat sore from holding the tears in. I’m on the brink of a real cry-fest here, so I need to exit ASAP.
I glance at his face. He wears a mixture of pissed and sad. I turn in my seat to face him fully. “Seems I’m the one that isn’t good enough for anyone, actually.” An unwelcome tear falls and I brush it away fast but I know he sees it. “Thanks for the ride,” I croak as I get out.
I walk slowly in case he decides to run after me again. I don’t want to explain to my Mom and Dad why Tristan is here or why I’m crying. The sound of the car driving away soothes the anxiety of having to talk about my monumentally humiliating night any further.
Josuha
I’m relaxing on the back patio and reading a romance novel on my Kindle. Yes, men read romance novels too. Beer in one hand, Kindle in the other, like a real man.
How I stumbled upon the romance genre is actually a funny story. I was on site on my first ever managed build. We were on a project in Haiti, and the predominantly female volunteers had created a book box. I was walking down the dirt pathway after a long day's work, my muscles on fire from all the labor I had done. My clothes and all body parts exposed were littered in sawdust from the wood I had been cutting, and the humidity had only made things worse, causing my clothes to stick to me and matting my hair to my head, making me look and feel disgusting.
I took the shirt from my body and flipped it inside out as to wipe some debris from my face prior to my highly anticipated shower. Needless to say, I was not paying attention to my surroundings since my eyes were indisposed at that moment. I felt my boot make contact with something large and heavy. Before I could react, I stumbled and attempted to regain my composure, but without sight, things went downhill fast.
I stumbled again as my other foot made contact, causing me to fall forward. I felt the box ripping as it broke my fall, and made my trip to the ground a lot less painful. I ripped the shirt from my head and let out a laugh that shook my whole body. I allowed myself a few moments before I rose and started cleaning up the mess I’d made. I did my best picking up the books and trying to fit them back into the torn box.
A black cover with a tie caught my eye. Fifty Shades of Grey. I smirked, remembering hearing about the taboo read from the women while they were working. It sounded steamy. I set it to the side out of curiosity as I cleaned up the rest of the mess. Working in underdeveloped countries meant I didn’t have much to do after my workday ended. I typically walked around and explored or talked with the locals, but reading a book could prove to be a nice change.
I finished it in three days. I was hooked. The shyness of Anastasia and her willingness to give herself to Christian even when she knew nothing about that world was fascinating. And the sex scenes… wow. It was the first book I read that made me feel like I was there, experiencing it for myself.
After I was done, I went immediately to the book box, hopeful that the second book would be there. But unfortunately, it wasn’t. Saddened, I rummaged through the box, looking to find another book that would catch my attention. After reading nearly every book cover, I settled on an enemies to lovers romance. Quickly, I realized that I didn’t just enjoy Fifty Shades of Grey but the romance genre as a whole.
I wiggle back to relax fully into my lounger, which, thankfully, was delivered earlier today. It’s pretty comfortable. Although, it had better be for the price I paid.
I’m in the beginning of a student teacher romance. I know it’s a taboo read, definitely not for everyone, but I find myself drawn to that genre. I remember having crushes on teachers when I was in school. I think it’s completely normal. The important thing is to set limits and not cross them. I’m not a rule breaker myself, but I do enjoy reading the books. What's that say about me? I have no idea and I’m not going to sit here and psychoanalyze myself.
I hear a car door slam sh
ut. Heels click clack up the drive. Feeling curious, I set the Kindle down and check to see who it is. A chair scoots on cement making an awful screeching noise. I peep over the fence and see Taylor—knees to chest, tears streaming down her face. Man, I wonder what the hell happened. Part of me wants to go check on her, and the other part wants me to mind my own damn business.
I move my hands from the fence and step backward so I can sit back down and continue reading. I step on a stick and it snaps. I panic and freeze. Shit, she’s going to know I was spying on her now. She’s already crying, and now I’m about to add creeped out to her list of worries.
As I debate walking around the fence and making my presence known, she beats me to it. “Is that you, Josh?” she says into the cool night air. “I heard you. Jus-just come out,” she says with an exasperated breath.
I peak my head and half of my torso over so she can see it’s me. “Hey,” I say in a hushed tone, the corners of my mouth down. “I know what this looks like, but honestly, I was just checking out a noise I heard.” I don’t tell her the noise I heard was heels, a chair, and crying. I don’t need to be that honest.
“Well, don’t just keep standing there like that. You look like half of a body,” she says while wiping the tears from her face with the back of her hand. “It’s kinda creepy.”
I walk over and sit down in a chair opposite her, not too close as to avoid making her feel uncomfortable... well, more uncomfortable than she probably already feels.
“So, you don’t have to tell me, but what happened tonight that caused you to cry?”
She looks to the ground and takes her bottom lip between her teeth and then lets it go. I watch as her plump lip falls; her mouth is incredible. I’d love to take that bottom lip in my mouth and nibble on it.
Wrong time for that, buddy. I shake my head, hoping that thought goes away.
“It’s simple. Guy’s suck. I’m sure you've never gone through something like what I did tonight, so I doubt you’d understand.”
She shrugs her shoulders while staring into my eyes, into my soul. Damn, the eyes on this girl. I feel like I’m in a black hole, floating in nothingness, when she stares at me like this.
Judging by the depth in her eyes, I guess that whatever is going on is deep-rooted. She doesn't know I’ve been through my fair share of shit. Or that it’s the reason I moved here. I choose to run away from my problems.
My hand goes to the back of my neck and I clear my throat. I don’t want to get into me and my issues tonight, but I do want to help her in any way that I can. If anything, this will be a test run for when I have to help my students with an issue. I’ll gladly try my hand at helping this gorgeous creature first. “Believe it or not I have a few degrees that make me the perfect guy to talk to.” I smile at her and tap the wood tabletop with my fingertips. “Just sayin’.”
“Oh yeah? Are you going to charge me, Dr. Joshua?”
I bite my bottom lip and then smile widely. “First sessions are always free.”
She lets out a puff of air and says, “Well, get ready, because you’re part of my story.”
She says it so matter-of-factly I almost believe her for a second. How could I possibly be one of the reasons she’s outside crying in the middle of the night? I laugh, but when she doesn’t, I get confused. “Wait, are you serious?”
She nods her head up and down slowly. “I’ll give you the condensed version since it’s late.”
“Good, because I am very interested to know how I fit in.” I lean forward.
“Tristan is my ex. He cheated on me while he was at a party a few months ago and broke up with me over the phone. Then the hot new neighbor,” she points at me, “looked like he wanted to kiss me but then kicked me out instead.”
My mouth falls open and I go to interrupt her. “But that's—”
She eyes me so I know she isn’t done talking. “Zip,” she says while pretending to zipper her mouth closed. “Then, I finally find a guy that says he’s interested in me, so I go to a party, which isn’t my norm. There I was, surrounded by all these drunk people, texting and searching everywhere for my date, only to find him,” she leans across the table with her hands on the wood to emphasize what she’s about to say, “balls deep in some random party girl.”
I interrupt with a “Wow.” My mouth hangs open.
“Oh no, that’s not all. He sees me and invites me to join. That dick. Am I right?”
With my mouth still open, I nod because that sounds awfully familiar.
“Obviously, I ran from the room. Only to literally run into my ex and his two girlfriends.”
My shoulders sink and I frown. I reach for her hand, but she pulls away and places them back into her lap.
“Taylor, I am so sorry you had to go through that. It’s terrible.” I would know. I clear my throat. “Umm, not to distract from all the awful things you said, but I can’t let you think I kicked you out.”
She tilts her head to the left. Then she crosses her arms over her chest and says, “Okay, so tell me what happened then.”
I lean back in the seat and rub the scruff on my jaw. I don’t want to make this conversation about me, but I can’t have this angel thinking I was a dick for no reason. “Now it’s your turn to listen, and you’re part of my story, too.”
She laughs and gets comfortable, bringing her legs down and repositioning herself in the seat, now wearing a smirk instead of the frown she’s had this whole time.
“First thing, I’m from Philly.”
“Okkaay,” she says, eyes squinting.
She’s probably wondering why that’s part of the story. “I’ll give you a condensed version too.” I smirk at her. “You might be surprised at some similarities we share.”
She looks even more intrigued now.
“I was away on business and came back early to find my girlfriend and best friend in bed together.”
She holds up her hand, mouth agape. “No!”
“Yeah, I’ll spare the gruesome details, but let’s just say I didn’t handle myself in a gentlemanly way afterward, if you know what I mean.”
She nods her head and says one word: “Slut.”
It catches me off guard and makes me laugh, hard. “Yeah, I’m not proud of myself. Those were dark times.”
“So is that why you moved here, to get away from them?”
I laugh again because this part is the hardest. “Partly. They got engaged shortly after I caught them together. Then I found out they were expecting a baby.” It feels good to talk about it with someone other than my mom. . I thought saying it out loud would drum up anger or sadness, but it doesn’t, and that makes me really damn happy. Maybe it means I am moving on.
“I mainly moved because my mom had a friend who offered to hire me. I thought it best, after everything, to get out of Philadelphia and start fresh.” I look up to see what she thinks about my confession. Her face is expressionless, but her lips are parted.
“Let me get to the part about you. When I had you in my house, I was damn near fighting myself to not kiss you. Because, trust me, I wanted to. But the fear of opening myself up to potential hurt scared me, still scares me. After being betrayed by my ex and best friend, and going on that bender, I thought I should take some time to focus on myself,” I say honestly. I tap on the wooden table to distract myself from the absolute silence. “Anyway, that’s my story. Sounds a little familiar, huh?” I touch her hand and smile.
She looks stoic.
“Hey, you okay?”
She looks at me with those amber eyes and I see pure sadness in them. “I’m sorry.” Her hand goes to her chest, and she looks like she might cry again.
I get up and walk to her side of the table so I can console her. I kneel on the ground next to her and put one hand on her arm. "Hey, it’s okay. Things get easier with time. Soon you won’t even remember the dickhead from tonight.”
Tears fall from her eyes and she wipes them away fast. “I’m sorry, I don’t normally cry in fr
ont of people. This is embarrassing.”
I raise my hand and wipe the wetness from her face with my thumb. “Don’t apologize for showing emotion; it’s what makes us human.”
She looks at me, our eyes level. “Do you think I’m pretty?”
My head falls. She thought I kicked her out because I didn’t like her when the opposite is true, even more so now. Every moment I’ve spent with this girl has captivated me in some way. I lost my breath when I caught her peeking in my window, and I damn near had an embolism from holding myself back from the kiss. And now, after she's shared her embarrassments with me and was so transparent, she’s even more entrancing.
These weird feelings that she's drawing from me have me second guessing my “stay away” approach. I feel like I'm getting an honest view of who she really is, and she seems to be a genuine person. Maybe it would be ok to test the waters. I swallow down the fear of getting hurt again. How could such a sweet, vulnerable angel ever hurt me?
I sigh as my hand tightens on her arm. “You are beautiful. It’s undeniable.” My heart beat begins to accelerate in my chest as the heat of her soft skin bites at my fingers. My breaths get heavier as I caress her, slowing bringing my hand further up her arm.
Our eyes connect. And in that instant I know I can’t deny myself any longer. Even though I know it’s not wise to cross this barrier, I can’t help myself.
My hand inches closer to her face and I caress her cheek, bringing my finger down her jaw, taking her chin between my pointer finger and thumb. I slowly start stroking her there. Each stroke makes her mouth part slightly, that plump bottom lip begging to be kissed. I can feel her air coming in spurts.
I want her, badly, and I can tell from her hooded eyes she wants me too. I lean my body closer to her and move my hand to the back of her neck. Our eyes close.
Then my mouth crushes into hers and it takes me to a place I haven’t been in forever.
Her mouth tastes like honey, with a hint of cherry. Her lips are softer than they looked. Her mouth opens wider to let me explore. Our tongues lightly brush together, and I can’t help myself; I moan into her mouth as I caress her face with my thumb. This is a dream.
