As she watched and listened to him, Anna’s spirit filled with a newfound joy. Here she was, hearing someone’s dream that was about to come true. But that person wasn’t just anyone. It was the man who’d rescued her in a storm. The man who knew about her own dream. And . . .
She swallowed an emotional knot as she realized something so significant, the truth nearly pulled it out of her breath. Her daed’s farmhand wasn’t just another worker who’d suddenly entered her life. She let out a sigh.
Jesse Beiler was the one soul to whom Anna had confided her deepest, darkest secret. And, more importantly, he rooted for her to succeed. Even if it resulted in her becoming Englisch. Even though what she might want out of life was on a totally different path than his own.
“Jesse, there’s something I want you to know.”
He looked at her to continue.
Automatically, she leaned toward him and laid a gentle hand on his fingers. She was fully aware that touching him wasn’t appropriate by her church’s standards; at the same time, her need to do it was so strong, she couldn’t pull away.
She could feel the strong pulse at his wrist. It beat to a fast pace. “Jesse, I want you to know that you’re truly special to me.”
Surprise flickered in his eyes. His pulse jumped against her finger. But as their eyes locked, she realized how very much she’d meant what she’d said. When she removed her fingers from his hand, she watched him. The expression on his face was unreadable.
Anna was still taking in the strength of her realization and her admission when he spoke in a low tone. “Anna, as you already know, you’re very special to me, too.”
He fidgeted with his hands. “In fact, ever since I carried you into the barn during the storm, my life has changed.” A nervous laugh escaped him. “I’ve been trying to figure things out.”
“And?”
“I’m not exactly sure. But . . .”
He looked at her to continue.
“It’s important to me that you find what you’re looking for. And I’ll do whatever I can to help.”
When she responded, her voice was so soft and filled with such gratitude, it was barely more than a whisper. While she considered Jesse’s goals and what he was up against, she used her most sympathetic tone. “You’re right, Jesse. And what you’re trying to do . . .” She lifted her shoulders. “It won’t be easy. But there must be a way I can help.”
Before he could respond, she considered her statement and the question that followed. “Surely our mutual support of each other will lead to us having our dreams.”
Her statement made the corners of his lips lift a little with a combination of happiness and satisfaction.
“It means a lot to hear that, Anna. Denki.”
“In fact, I pray for your life to be everything you want it to be.”
After a thoughtful silence passed, he shifted on his hip, propped himself up on one elbow, and looked directly into her eyes. “I wish I could help you discover who you are.”
She considered his statement. “I wonder if I’ll really ever know.”
“I think you will. But say strong prayers and look for signs.”
“Signs?”
“Jah. I mean, we Amish pray a lot. In church, we’re always praying for things to happen. We pray about births. Deaths. For sick people to recover.”
Anna agreed.
“But you know what I think?”
“What?”
“That we’re so busy asking for things, we miss the answers.”
She considered Jesse’s take on prayer and arched a brow. “But don’t you think that answers are hard to recognize?” When he didn’t reply, she went on to clarify what she meant. “I don’t think it’s always easy to know.”
“I agree. So . . .” He stretched his legs and leaned back on his hands.
She let out a frustrated sigh. “I’ll depend on God to help me find out.” The sun slipped behind a cloud again. For several moments, the only sound was the soft buzzing of a honey bee on a nearby clover.
As the light breeze nudged several loose strands of hair from Anna’s kapp, she could smell the scent of earth on Jesse’s clothes. It was such a different smell from the clothes her daed wore at the bakery.
Suddenly, it mattered to her whether he agreed. She wasn’t sure why.
“Jesse, I know I’m a little more independent than other Amish women my age.”
The corners of his lips curved in amusement. “Ya think?”
She’d laid her pencil on the ground, and for some reason, she’d totally dropped what she’d been doing and was dead set on convincing Jesse Beiler to see her point of view.
“Okay. But I care that you agree with me.”
He lifted a brow.
She offered a gentle lift of her shoulders. “I’m not sure why.”
He grinned. “Maybe it’s because I’m your confidant.”
She shrugged. “Perhaps.”
“Even so, why would it matter to you if I agree or disagree with you?”
She stared straight ahead, pressed her lips into a thoughtful line, and considered the question. The more she contemplated it, the more uncertain she became about why she would care.
Finally, a laugh escaped her throat. She threw up her hands in defeat. “I don’t know. But what I’m sure of, Jesse Beiler, is that I’m happy when you agree with me.”
He smiled. “I’m glad.”
“You are?”
He nodded.
She continued her train of thought. “Why does that make you happy?”
He lifted a pair of palms up at the sky and shrugged. “Undecided. But it doesn’t really matter, I guess.”
“You’re probably right.”
The corners of Jesse’s lips drooped a notch, leaving an uncertain expression on his face. His jaw was set. “That’s just it, Anna. Our lives . . .” He offered a dismissive shrug before continuing. “They should be about what God wants for us. Not about our wants.”
As she contemplated his words, something inside her changed. “Jesse, I’m guilty.”
Before he could respond, Anna lightened the pitch of her voice. “Jesse, what you’ve just said . . .” She swallowed. “Thank you for that.”
“For what?”
“For reminding me that my life isn’t about me. It’s about what God wants from me.”
She rested on her palms and leaned back to look up at the sky. As warmth caressed her face, she closed her eyes. When she opened them, she parted her lips.
“I read something interesting the other day in a spiritual magazine. I think it will help you, Anna.”
“Please share it with me.”
“It was just a quote from someone at the top of the page, saying that stress is when we try to handle our problems on our own. That we should hand them over to God. And then we’re free.”
“Jesse?”
He raised a brow and met her gaze.
“You’ve just given me the best advice.”
She straightened before giving her picture another glance. “I’m handing this over to God. And there’s something else I want you to know.”
He gestured for her to go on.
“It’s why I care so much about your opinion.” She smiled and said with great affection, “It’s because I really like you.”
Chapter Eight
Jesse watched his livestock feed inside the large barn. The thought of having his own farm someday made him smile. He glimpsed his family’s long drive lined with buggies. He chuckled.
With five brothers and several nephews, there was never a dull moment at the Beiler home. But that was the way he liked it. Busy and filled with love.
He leaned against the post at the end of the stalls and considered how different Anna’s home was from his own. While he acknowledged that the two households were as opposite as night and day, he gave a sad shake of his head. There was a huge difference in the noise level between his house and hers, that was for certain.
Footste
ps made him look up. To his surprise, his daed stood next to him.
Jesse smiled at his role model before returning his attention to the troughs in front of him. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
His daed dragged his hand over his face and spoke in his usual gruff voice. “Sohn, we need to talk about the Norris farm. Because it’s going up for sale any day, and once it’s listed, I’m afraid it will sell fast.” Arms folded, he went on. “And I want you to have it.”
* * *
The following morning, Anna ducked as she stepped outside the chicken coop. The sky was still half dark as the sun just started to show.
For a moment, she stopped and sighed in relief to be outside. She breathed in fresh air, glad to be away from the stuffy-smelling building. Of all the chores, collecting eggs was her least favorite.
There were several reasons for that. The first was because the house of feathered creatures was quite small, and it was necessary to bend while she collected the eggs. Secondly, she disliked the unpleasant smell and dirty feathers that floated around. And the third reason was because at first sight, the eggs were filthy. She grimaced. At least they were before she washed them. Anna admitted she’d never been a scrambled egg fan, like her parents, or any egg lover, most likely because she glimpsed the white and brown shells before they’d been cleaned. But, amazingly, that didn’t bother everyone. She knew for a fact that the sight of dirty eggs didn’t faze Mary Conrad at all. Or any other Amish girl she knew. But Anna had never gotten past their unappetizing appearance.
The warm August breeze caressed her face when she looked up at the sky. She closed her eyes for a moment to enjoy the day before it became too hot. When she opened her lids, a jet was leaving a trail of white in the sky. The sun came up another notch just enough to allow her to glimpse four horses pulling Jesse on a small platform behind their house.
Looking down at the basket in her hand, she moved a couple of eggs before they fell out. Without thinking, she turned toward the blacktop, where a horse and a buggy were coming in her direction. She wondered who was inside. From where she stood, she wasn’t able to see.
Their kitchen needed some items, and Anna planned to take her buggy into town later that day. For now, she enjoyed the country smells and being anywhere other than inside the coop.
She took advantage of this time to be inspired. She loved this part of the day, just as the sun was rising. Sometimes, when she focused, she could feel God planting artistic ideas inside her head. And today, everything inspired her. The smell of freshly cut alfalfa. The pleasant aroma of yeast bread that floated out through the screened kitchen windows. And the opportunity that lay within days to finally have her dream.
The lone horse and buggy approached their long drive. What’s inside of me and how do You want me to live? For a moment, she stopped and said a silent prayer. Dear Lord, please guide my life. I am here to serve You. But please let me know how to do it. Amen.
She expelled a satisfied breath and continued toward the side porch. God, I’m celebrating handing my life over to You. She breathed easier. And the morning got even better.
As she stepped out of the path of a playful brown-and-white goat, she recalled her last dinner with Jesse and pressed her lips together thoughtfully. To her, the time with Jesse and her folks had been much more than merely eating.
It had been comforting to be with her parents. And Jesse. She’d felt a strong sense of family, even though Jesse wasn’t a relative. She hadn’t realized just how very lonely she’d been since the start of the bakery’s remodel. But last night, she’d acknowledged a great relief that she hadn’t felt in a long time.
And her earlier conversation with Maemm floated through her thoughts, too, sending an easy sensation up her arms that landed in her shoulders. I need to hear that my parents love me. That they love me as if I were their own.
When the buggy suddenly turned off the blacktop and onto their drive, Anna’s heart bubbled with joy. Today, she wanted to talk. Her parents were at the bakery. And Jesse was working in the field. So who was the visitor?
When Mary Conrad stuck her head out of the opened window and waved, Anna instantly lifted a friendly hand in greeting. She stepped inside the porch long enough to put down the eggs in a compartment in the fridge. She’d wash them later. The hinges on the screen door squeaked until it slammed closed. She quickly stepped back outside while Mary tied her horse.
As the large animal clomped its hooves and snorted, Anna embraced her dear friend. “It’s so gut to see you!”
Mary’s glasses slipped down her nose and she shoved them back up.
“I brought a surprise for you.”
“Jah? ”
Without responding, Mary stepped back to the buggy and pulled something out. The top was covered. With the lift of a challenging brow, Mary looked as though she was dying to remove the top. “Can you guess what it is?”
Falling into step beside her, Anna nodded. “Jah!”
Inside the kitchen, Mary set down her surprise and motioned to the cellophane that tried to hide what was obviously a plant. Green stems stuck out at the sides.
Mary looked at her with excitement. “Go ahead. Open it. I hope you like it.”
Anna bent to remove the cellophane. “Oh!” She drew her arms over her chest while glimpsing the beautiful rose. “It’s absolutely gorgeous! The color . . . it’s the most beautiful shade of peach I’ve ever seen.”
Anna motioned Mary to the dining-room table. “Have a seat while I wash my hands.” A few moments later, she returned to the kitchen. “There’s fresh lemonade in the fridge; I’ll pour you a glass.”
Mary placed her gift on the center of the table and nodded. “Denki. That’s one of many things we have in common.”
Anna glanced at her while pouring two glasses and carried them to the table.
Mary added clarification to her statement. “We both make fresh lemonade.”
Anna couldn’t stop a laugh from escaping her throat. “And we both jump into ponds even though we can’t swim!”
Mary joined in the laughter as Anna took a seat on the opposite side of the table from her friend. When Anna set her glass down on the coaster of a horse’s face, Mary carefully adjusted her gift so that the sunlight coming in from the nearest window better hit it.
Anna breathed in and eyed her friend with great appreciation. “It’s so beautiful, Mary.” Anna bent to take in the deep peach petals and delicately shaped green leaves. She closed her eyes in bliss. When she opened her lids, she smiled. “It smells so gut.”
“Anna, this rose will bring you beauty for years.”
“I will treasure it. And . . .” She pressed her finger to her lips. Anna locked gazes with her friend. “I have something for you.”
Mary lifted her chin. “Jah?”
Anna nodded. “When we were recovering from our swim . . .”
They both laughed. “I was checking out your room. It’s lovely, but . . .”
“What?”
“It lacked something.”
Mary furrowed her brows. “Jah?”
Anna winked as she rose from her chair and grinned down at her friend, lifting her pointer finger. “One moment, please . . .”
The stairs creaked as she made her way to her bedroom, where she lifted a large canvas from behind her beloved hope chest. Downstairs, she held it in front of Mary.
A gasp of surprise and awe escaped Mary’s throat. “It looks so real! And . . .” She stopped to lock gazes with Anna. “You drew this?”
Anna moved to the other side of the table to hand the colored picture of the single rose to her friend. With one careful motion, Mary laid the picture on the table but continued to study it. “I’ve always known your love and fascination for roses.”
“Did I ever tell you that?”
Anna shook her head. “You didn’t have to. All I needed was to look at your garden and I knew. And by the way, the two vases of roses by your bedroom window were dead giveaways, too.”
Mary drew her hands to her chest and crossed them. “I didn’t realize my addiction was so obvious, but now that you mention it, I guess my passion has never really been a secret.”
Anna lifted her arms in a helpless gesture. “And it shouldn’t be! Every time you look at this . . .”
Mary jumped in. “You’ll remember the day we both jumped into the Conrad pond!”
They both laughed.
The corners of Mary’s lips curved upward into a huge grin. “And just think of the fun we had talking about it afterward.”
While the fan blades put out a light, pleasant breeze, Anna considered her friend’s take on the day at the Conrads’ and pressed her lips together thoughtfully. A bird chirped on the kitchen sill. At the same time, a squirrel peeked in the window.
Anna finally offered a shake of her head. “I couldn’t forget that afternoon if I wanted to.” A sudden chill swept up her spine, and she shivered. “I was so afraid the boys would drown. The fear that went through me . . . Mary, that awful feeling will stay with me forever.”
Mary grimaced. “I know what you mean. But our story, fortunately, had a happy ending.”
“Jah. By the way, any word on Reuben?”
Mary looked down and expelled a frustrated breath. When she lifted her chin to meet Anna’s gaze, she shook her head. Her eyes sparkled with moisture. “Reuben . . . he’s still struggling. And from what I hear, news has it that his maemm may not be around much longer.”
Anna let out a sigh of regret and closed her eyes. When she opened them, she said softly, “Oh, no. That poor little boy.”
After a slight hesitation, she went on with a sad shake of her head. “I’ve been praying for him and his maemm. My heart breaks for them. For some reason, I felt a connection with him.”
“Really?”
Anna nodded. “Probably because he was at the cookout without his maemm.”
Mary arched a curious brow. “I don’t understand. How does that connect you to him?”
Love at Pebble Creek Page 13
