by Ruby Carter
Not a single fucker responds, so I shoot my gun in the air three times to get people’s attention. “I SAID. WHERE. THE. FUCK. IS. SPIDER?”
“I’m here, motherfucker! What the hell do you think you are doing in my club, prick?”
“Your club, huh? What, because you kill YOUR prez in cold blood, you think you are now the new prez. Who the fuck do you think you are?”
I notice some of Dog’s old members are too fucked and drugged to do shit. It seems it’s me and my crew, all 6 of us, on his 3. We can take these junkies.
I get right in his face, nose to nose, and see his eyes widen as he looks up at me. I am an intimidating fucker when I want to be.
“You fucking cunt, you’re dead!” I say coldly as I look him dead in the eye. But then I breathe in and something clicks inside of me. Then I breathe in again and I would know that sweet flowery scent anywhere.
“You’re Paul?! WHERE THE FUCK IS DANI?! And I asked for Spider! Get me fuckin’ Spider!”
“HA! Can you smell her on me, AXE? She fucking begged for me to touch her.
I AM Paul. And I AM fucking Spider!” he sneers as he moves his neck to show me the black tattoo there.
~ Chapter 28 Dani ~
I must be dead! I must be dead! I have to be dead. If not, I want to be! I have no fight left!
I don’t deserve this. I will never see my Mom again, Zara or Axe… My heart burns on the thought of never seeing Axe again, never looking into those big, baby blue eyes, to kiss those smooth lips…
I swear, I can hear my dad and pops reciting a Cherokee prayer next to me. I want to reach out to hold them.
‘O great spirit whose voice I hear in the winds, and those breath gives life to all the world, hear me. I am small and weak, I need your strength and wisdom. Let me walk in beauty and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset.’
It replays over and over in my head. It’s like they are here with me, like they are looking over me and keeping me safe.
Please, dad, pops, give me the strength to either die or survive. But I can’t fight anymore, daddy. Please give me your guidance from our ancestors. I'm scared, daddy.
Another lot of darkness takes me under. I don't fight it. I welcome it.
I don't want to live anymore. Not with a world where he is out there living. I thought he was dead.
My body is growing colder by the minute, even though I am lying on my side, holding my wound. I can see the blood pooling around my torso on the floor. I feel sick and excruciating pain shoots up and round my body.
The darkness pulls me back down.
I smell him. Axe. I must be in heaven. I have to be in heaven. I can smell him. I know he can't be here, but my body pulls me to him in the darkness and my mind keeps screaming. Home! My mind is playing tricks, hallucinating. It has to be. I feel my whole body try to come alive again. My body tingles with want and I want to run into Axe’s big arms and wrap myself up in him. So I know I am safe, cared for, maybe loved. But definitely the others and I will be home.
My eyes won't open. My body won't allow it. I try with all my might to open them, screaming in my head to open them. I want to see him. I want to know he's there.
I can’t fight anymore.
All I see is a big, bright glowing light. Then I see my dad for the first time since I was 6 years old. I run and jump into his arms and hold onto him for dear life. We just stand there, holding each other.
My dad asks me, “What are you doing here, baby girl?”
“Daddy, I came to see you. I need you.”
“But baby girl, why? What’s wrong?”
“Daddy, I can’t tell you all the story right now. Just know I have missed you every single day since you were taken from us.” I reply with tears rolling down my face.
“I can’t go back, daddy. I belong here with you.”
~ Chapter 29 Axe ~
“WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE?!” I roar. I was fucking LOUD! I grab him by the throat and practically throw him to the wall with an almighty bang.
“Ha. You fucking dickhead. You want her now? I broke her. I broke her, good and proper. If I can’t have her, no fucker will have her cunt,” he leers and spit comes flying out of his grotty mouth. I can feel my face tighten and redden in anger. I squeeze his neck right around his airway.
“Thing is, Paul or Spider, whoever the fuck you are, I have already had her cunt and it stretched perfectly to fit me and only me,” I say with such venom in my voice but kept it cold and calm. But underneath that cold and calm exterior is an evil monster clawing, dying to get out and kill this excuse for a human.
But before I do that, I need to get Dani back. I need to find her like my next breath. His face quickly turns from a dirty sneer to his eyes glazing over and his face has turned a crimson color. Ah, that got the fucker. That gave me some satisfaction. Not much but a little.
“YOU CAN GO TO HELL! I AIN’T TELLIN YOU SHIT!” I squeeze harder and grab my gun and don’t mess about. I just shoot him right in the thigh, close up range, barrel right up against his thigh. He screams so fucking loud down in my earhole, I think he may have perforated my motherfucking eardrum.
“YOU TELL ME WHERE SHE IS, CUNT! NOW!” My pulse is elevated and I can hear the goddamn pounding in my ears again. Jesus, I am going to have either a heart attack or a stroke before I get to Dani. He just laughs like a fucking messed up hyena "Search the area, inside and outside the clubhouse. Look every fucking where until we find her!" I scream out to my crew with desperation in my voice.
I need to end this piece of scum. "YOU. DIE. NOW!" I punch him so hard in the face, I think I broke a finger. I kick and stamp on his chest, ribs, and his limp dick. "NO ONE TOUCHES WHAT’S MINE!! NO ONE!" I bellow out and spit on him, rolling around blooded like a baby. I aim my glock and aim for his crotch…one shot. He screams out in pain. That’s nothing compared to the next shot…his ribs. He is gurgling blood. I watch the light and life slip from his eyes. It brings me such satisfaction, watching him die, but I can’t wait for when I shoot him in between the eyes and watch the splatter of brains and blood go all over the ground.
"Boss! Boss! Here! NOW!" I hear from Flex inside of the clubhouse.
"Take care of this, boys. Make sure no one talks!" I order Wrench and Tinhead.
As I run off into the clubhouse, where I see Flex and Bear standing at a door that leads to the basement. Fuck their faces. They don’t leave me feeling optimistic. I see Doc running down the stairs before me. That makes me more scared of what I am going to find. I can’t lose her. I pretty much jump down the entire set of basement stairs. I feel physically sick from nerves and thoughts of what I'm going to find at the end of the corridor where the door is open.
I think my world just tilted on its axis the moment my eyes lock to her crumpled, dirty, swollen body on the grimy floor. She looks so helpless on the ground. I can barely see her breathing, it is so shallow. I can’t physically move. I am just staring at her body and watching Doc at work.
He looks up at me as he is taking her pulse. “Boss, we need to get her to the hospital. NOW!” I just stare at him like he’s not there or he’s speaking in a foreign language. “Boss, we need to go!” he screeches at me as he is listening to her heartbeat.
“Is she… is she alive?” I ask, looking at Dani with such a quiet voice sound like a little boy afraid to talk. I don’t sound like the big, bad prez my men know me to be. I am rubbing my clenched fist over my heart as it burns with worry, hurt, and dread.
“Yeah, boss, she is. Barely, we need to get her moved. She’s lost too much blood,” Doc replies with worry in his eyes.
“BLOOD?!” I roar as I stride over to where she is laying and there it is. A huge pool of blood surrounding her on the floor. I feel like I have a big weight on my aching heart.
I swoop in and gather my Dani, my Pixie, my woman, in my arms. I realize, once I have her safely in my arms, she has a deep stab wound on the side of her stomach. I see all the blood soaked in her t-shirt. FU
CK!
As Doc, the rest of my men and me get Dani to the hospital. I rush in with her to the emergency department. I can see and feel my woman getting paler, colder, and bluer by the second...her pulse is so weak, I can barely feel it!
“HELP, NOW! MY WOMAN HAS BEEN STABBED AND IS DYING IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ARMS!...”
“A... Axxe… I… I lo…" my woman mumbled words to me before she was rushed off on a hospital trolley bed by the doctors and nurses.
If she dies, I will ask one of the docs to take me with her. If they won’t, I will get one of my men to take me out. Without Dani in this world, I don’t want to be in it. I have never had any suicidal thoughts in my whole life, but as this moment, I want to follow her.
So I do something I haven’t done since I was in school.
I pray. I pray for her to survive. I pray she will come back to me…
.
~ Chapter 30 Dani ~
I am dead. There is no doubt in my mind… I could hear Axe talking to me when I was flying. He kept asking me to stay with him, like I would go anywhere else.
He is my home, my safe place.
I hear him repeating, “I’m sorry, baby. So sorry. It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have let you leave. I’m so sorry, baby. Please stay with me. I can’t live without you.” I try to answer him, to tell him I forgive him and that I’m not mad at him anymore. I want him to hear me. I try with all my strength to tell him. The words won’t come out.
I want to cry with frustration. I have to tell him. I want to see him but I can only smell him, my comfort. As his scent, comfort fades; I tell him what I was too afraid to tell him.
“Axe I love you. Don’t forget me…”
I see a piercing bright light ahead. I am nearly blinded by it.
“Daddy? Daddy, what are we doing here?”
“We aren’t doing anything, baby girl. I belong here until your mom and your time comes. But that time isn’t now, baby girl.” He looks sad and happy at the same time, if that can be possible, sad to send me away.
“Daddy, I don’t want to leave you here alone. Come back home with me. Mom misses you so much. I miss you too, daddy.” I feel the big tears rolling down my swollen cheeks. Why are my cheeks so sore and painful?
“Danipie… I know… I miss you and your Mom too, but sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do for the sake of others’ happiness. I will always love you and your mom. Always know that. Ok?” he says, tears streaming down his face. I wrap my arms around his waist so tight. I don’t want to let go. I feel like how I did when I was 6 when I lost him the first time. He was my best friend; I used to follow him around wearing his police boots when I was a child.
“It’s time, baby girl. You have to go back to your mom. Look after her and tell her I love her so much and that I will never stop. Look after yourself, Danipie. Be happy, find love, and hold onto it with both hands and don’t let it go. Life’s too short. Look after yourselves baby girl.”
He fades away into the bright light like he’s walking through a misty waterfall until I can’t see him anymore. It’s dark again. I’m alone.
Is that Mom? “So when will she wake up, doctor? Will she ever wake up?” She sounds like she’s been crying. Why can’t I open my eyes? I need to check to see if she’s ok.
I can smell Axe. He’s here with Mom. Oh god, she’s got to be freaking. “Mrs. Cooper, please try not to worry. This is perfectly normal in these types of cases. Your daughter is resting and she isn’t ready to come back to us just yet. Her body has gone through a lot in a short space of time. Her vitals are positive and her wound is healing nicely,” the doctor who sounds like he’s in his 40 to 50’s tries to lighten my mom’s worry. What does he mean; I am not ready to come back to them? Why hasn’t Axe spoken? I know he’s there, as I feel calmer for him being here.
No, the darkness takes me again…Nooo…
My whole body feels like a dead weight. I try with everything I have to stretch my fingers, but that feels like it’s the hardest thing ever to do. My head feels hazy and scrambled…
“Yo, boss. Zara is right. You need to go get yourself cleaned up and some kip. If Dani wakes up, one of us will call you.” I think it’s Flex talking to Axe. He sounds gruff like he hasn’t slept for weeks. What’s going on?
“No. I am not leaving her side. I am not leaving her again.” Oh, my poor man. He sounds like he is pain, so tired. I try to reach for him and move my head in his direction but to no avail, it’s too heavy to move. I am getting so goddamn pissed at myself. I need to see him. I need to feel his touch.
“Come on, Axe! You are no good to her, exhausted. At least come and stretch your legs?”
“Are you deaf?! I said fucking NO! I am not leaving her side. Look what happened the last time I left her side. I ain’t fucking letting her outta my sight,” Axe growls at his VP and best friend. He must blame himself for what happened, the stupid dick. It’s not his fault, what happened to me.
“Ok, boss. I am only thinking of you, bro. I will grab you something to eat and some clothes, ok? I’m gonna take Zar with me. She’s going stir crazy with the waiting and worrying.” Flex says as I hear him shut the door in the room.
Axe lets a huge sigh escape, like he’s exhausted. “Come on, baby. Please wake up for me. I have so much to tell you. I miss you. Fuck... I need you, sweetness. I have never needed anyone,” he says with so much raw emotion in his rough voice. He rests his face on my hand, lying down by my side. I can feel days, maybe weeks, worth of stubble. He’s grown a beard. I feel wetness on my hand, and sniffing. I realize that my big, bad biker is crying for me. “Dani…Fuck, I need you like I need to breathe… Baby please, I need to see those eyes that made me fall hard and fast for you.”
This amazingly strong man, this big, bad biker. The president of Devil’s Reapers MC. Axe Cole is crying. I fight so hard. I need to move, wake up, and do anything to see him. I have something to fight for. I have him. Please, God. Daddy, help me! I need to get back to him.
I need to get back to the man I love with every fiber of my being. Help!
I try to move my hand and I think I can feel his hair. It’s so soft. I had forgotten how soft it was, but it’s gotten so long.
“Dani?!” He says in surprise, like he can’t quite believe it as I feel him jump back from my hand. “Dani, if you just moved your hand, try again baby. Please, baby, try again. I’m not going anywhere.” He says with tears clogging up his throat.
I try again and do the same, but reach his hand this time, and my body becomes alive like I’m flooding with electricity. I hold onto his hand for dear life like a newborn baby’s death grip. There is no way I am letting go. He can pull me out of the darkness. I know he can.
“Nurse! Doc! She’s squeezing my hand! She’s awake!” Axe shouts with so much hope in his rough voice, my strong man.
I slowly blink a few times to clear my blurry vision and, I swear to god, my biker looks like an angel. I can’t describe it, but the florescent lights are hitting the back of his longer than normal, scruffy hair, and it’s like he has a white halo around him. He isn’t looking at me but looking at the door. I can’t take my eyes off him. I daren’t blink or move my eyes just in case he disappears.
He turns to meet my eyes. He obviously could feel mine on him. His eyes sparkle so bright that the blue in his eyes looks nearly white. “Sweetness…You came back,” he whispers, with tears in his eyes.
Thank you, daddy. I understand now.
I am back where I belong. Home, with the man I love.
~ Chapter 31 Axe ~
I saw that doctor come out of surgery, where he had been operating on Dani for what seems like fucking forever. He’s been in there for 4 hours and 23 minutes exactly, not like I have been keeping count or anything. He looks like he’s walking in slow motion. He looks up at me with a grim look. It kinda looks like its sympathy.
I drop to my knees and I scream, “NOOOOOO! FUCK NO! YOU PROMISED ME!” In the quiet of the hospital
waiting room, my voice echoes as it travels the room. I feel like my world has crumbled in on itself. I have lost the single best thing in my life, the only thing worth fighting for, the one and only woman who could steal my heart I have lost.
“Mr. Cole? And Mrs. Cooper?” the doctor looks at us both and I can’t take this. I slowly sit on the floor with my head in my hands as the tears start to run down my face. Fuck it. I don’t care if my men see me crying. I don’t care if everyone sees.
“Mr. Cole? Did you hear what I said? I said Miss Cooper is out of surgery. I won’t lie. It was tough. She’s a strong woman, and obviously has someone looking after her up there. But she has a 50% chance of pulling through. I have stopped the bleeding. She had a major bleed there for a while and the amount of damage to her body and dehydration didn’t help. But we have put her in an induced coma to give her body time to rest and heal itself.”
“What, Doc? What does all that mean? Will she wake up?” I ask out of desperation.
“All being well and we will be monitoring her closely, but yes in time. But that is all we can do right now, Mr. Cole, is give her time.”
I just nod in understanding him. I am not leaving her side in the meantime, I will set up a makeshift bed on the floor if I have to, but I don’t care. I am not leaving her again.
