“Are you sure?” His words were spoken softly so they didn’t carry beyond the two of us. I just stepped closer to him, so that his kutte was touching his arms, and inviting him to wear it once more. “I’ll love you no matter what, Ever,” he stated while still not accepting the kutte back from me.
“You’ll love me better with them at your back,” I explained, and his arms wrapped around me then, pulling me into his body with his kutte sandwiched between us. He leaned in and whispered in my ear. “You are the most amazing person I’ve met in my life. I am proud to call you mine, and I am so fucking in love with you it hurts.” I smiled into his chest before planting a kiss right there over his heart.
“Put this on before we’re mobbed and tossed out,” I teased, shoving the kutte into his bare stomach with a little more force than necessary. I admit, I was just feeling up his abs, but no one could really blame me. They were sculpted perfection, and I needed something solid to ground me to this moment before I floated away. Deck took the kutte from my hands and slid it gracefully back on his body to a round of gleeful shouts and cheers from the crowd.
It hadn’t occurred to me to wonder why Deck had given me the shirt off his back until I noticed my father was clinging to the cardigan I’d been wearing, and using it to wipe the tears from his face. Deck put his hand in mine, walked us over to the bar, and ordered us both a shot. It wouldn’t matter tonight that I was underage. No one was going to dispute the fact that I had earned the shot I was about to take. I’d earned it in distrust, disloyalty, and abandonment by nearly every single person in the room. I’d always known it, but now they realized exactly what they had done too, and most of them weren’t too sure where to start with trying to repair the damage they’d done.
They didn’t realize that the healing had already started, and I didn’t really need them to say or do anything. My healing had started with the little girl’s tears that dripped down my back.
Chapter 18
~ Ever ~
There was a club barbecue the following weekend, to celebrate one of the prospects being patched over and a hang around being offered the chance to take his place as prospect. It was the first time I’d been invited to a club event by someone other than Deck or Lucy. Since the invitation was sent out straight from the prez himself, I couldn’t very well turn it down since we were all trying for that fresh new start.
The problem was that when I got there I was immediately swept away by Lucy and Tiger Lily. They took me up to one of the rooms on the second floor where Anna was waiting too. “What’s going on?” I asked the question as my nose crinkled at the smell of stale beer and questionable decisions that lingered in the room. “Whose room is this?”
Lucy glanced around in disdain too. “It’s just one of the open, random rooms. We probably should have chosen something else.” She wasn’t wrong, because I was pretty sure that was a condom trying to creep out from under the bed. I shivered at the thought before my sister’s pouting face turned completely around as she shouted at me.
“We bought you a dress to wear today!” Anna’s delightful squeal was only slightly off-putting, because while I was used to hearing it I had never had the potency of one of her excited squees directed at me before. Up close and personal, it wasn’t as easy to tune out.
I glanced down at my jeans and support t-shirt and rolled my eyes. “I think I’m dressed just fine for a barbecue,” I stated and got ready to turn around and leave.
“Not so fast, missy,” Lucy scolded me. “Your sister wanted to do something nice for you, and you’re going to let her.” Lucy had her momma-bear voice on, and I knew when I heard it there would be no getting out of this. I just had to hope that my sister hadn’t picked out some horrible contraption of a dress to embarrass me. She was the girliest of girly dreamer girls, if you get my drift. I could just imagine the hideous pink, rainbows and unicorn monstrosity of a dress she would pick too. Instead of me seeing it right away though Lucy draped a damn length of blue silk around my face effectively keeping me blind to whatever they were about to put me in.
“Is this really necessary?”
“Seriously, Ever? You just tried to bolt out the door when you heard the word ‘dress’ and we’re supposed to allow you to see the unfinished product?” Lucy scoffed at me, and then continued to help the other women in the room get me damn near naked, which was not something I was entirely okay with.
“This is really awkward for me,” I expressed through clenched teeth.
“Me too,” Lucy sighed, having realized I was wearing an itty bitty lace thong and a barely there strapless bra, which wasn’t doing a damn thing to hide my goods since my boobs were nearly falling out of the thing.
“Damn, I bet Deck will be happy to unwrap you later though!” My sister laughed as she delivered that bit of fun to the family that included both my mother and Deck’s.
“Anna!” My mother was laughing when she tried to reprimand my sister though, so I don’t think it did any good. I distinctly heard laughter from all the women present which was just mortifying on so many levels seeing as they were all speculating about my sex life. A still new to me sex life, at that.
“At least she’s already shaved, or waxed, or whatever,” my sister pointed out.
“What the?” I started to say, but someone smacked my ass and then tapped my left ankle.
“Lift your foot.” I felt a silky fabric being pulled up and over my leg and then my other ankle was tapped in the same way making me lift that foot too. The cool, smooth fabric was pulled up my body, and then my arms were each maneuvered so that my hands could be placed through what I assumed were sleeves, armholes, or whatever. I was made aware that it had been spaghetti straps when they were situated just so on my shoulders. I supposed it was a good thing I’d worn the slightly too small strapless bra today then. “Good thing I had to do laundry, huh?” I asked.
“What? Why?” Lucy returned.
“That’s why I have this stupid strapless bra on. I never wear the damn thing, but I couldn’t find my favorite one, and the rest need to be washed because Deck spilled something in my drawer.
“Yeah, good thing that happened,” my sister offered with a snicker, and suddenly I felt as though I had been set up from the beginning, starting with my soon-to-be-dead boyfriend.
“I see,” I stated, letting them know I was on to their shenanigans – all of their shenanigans. I wasn’t in on it though. I had absolutely no clue what awaited me on the other side of this blindfold. I waited, not so patiently, as the women around me worked their magic, and managed to get small heels on my feet along with some kind of necklace, earrings, and they even managed to get something done to my hair while keeping the blindfold in place. Once they were done primping me they began the exhausting attempt to get me downstairs while I was unable to see and wearing heels – even if they were of the small variety. I had no clue where they were taking me, but once we were descending the stairs a loud, uproarious bout of shouting, hooting, and catcalling began. No doubt, I was blushing like an idiot, because I had no clue what all these people were seeing. Clearly, I was entertaining everyone though.
Before I could manage to question where we were going, and if I could take the damn blindfold off yet, a door was opened and the scent of fresh air let me know we were headed outside. Considering the ground was somewhat squishy under my feet, I assumed the back door of the clubhouse, because the front had asphalt all the way to the door. I was brought to a halt, and the blindfold was promptly removed from my face. Still, it took me a moment for my eyes to adjust to the onslaught of light, and when they did my breath got stuck somewhere on the way to my lungs. Little lanterns and fairy lights were hung down a makeshift aisle that led straight down to my boyfriend who was sporting a wicked grin, a suit, which included black dress slacks, a blue cummerbund and tie that matched the beautiful brilliant blue throughout our home, and dress shoes. He was wearing a white dress shirt too, but had his kutte on over top of it. My brother stood next
to him wearing something similar. My eyes watered as I glanced around at the seating on either side of the aisle and realized what was going on. Merc was standing at the head of the aisle grinning back at me and then a hand was touching my elbow, and I turned to see my father standing there, dressed much the same way as the other men down the aisle.
“You ready to become Mrs. Declan Donovan?”
“Is this for real?” I whispered the words, but apparently my voice carried to the last couple rows of those seated because I heard their laughter.
“It’s as real as you want it to be, sweetheart. Either I can walk you down this aisle to that man who is stupid in love with you, or we can get the hell out of here, and I’ll hide you at the hunting cabin.”
“I heard that,” Deck yelled from up front and then he was moving towards us.
“No!” I shouted, halting him in his tracks. “Get back down there where you belong,” I yelled, and again everyone laughed. My father reached up and swiped at a tear that had rolled freely down my cheek. It was then that I glanced down and saw that I was in a floor length ivory silk gown that tied around the middle with a blue bow matching the color of the tie the men wore. These were our colors, and suddenly it registered that they were everywhere. From the blue button flowers adorning the white wedding arch to the ribbons tied to the chairs covered in cream fabric the place had been transformed to the wedding of my dreams. The one I had never dared actually dream of.
My father linked his arm with mine and began walking me forward toward the man waiting there for me. The man of my dreams, the one that was changing my life and making it full of beautiful things again waited for me with the biggest smile on his face I had ever seen. Once we got to the altar up front, Merc asked who was giving me away.
My father stumbled over his words as he kissed my forehead, and smiled over at his life-long best friend. “I give my oldest daughter to the only man alive who deserves her.” He then transferred my hand from his arm to Deck’s who took it with a tip of his chin in acknowledgment of the honor my dad had just bestowed upon him. I couldn’t look anywhere, but at Deck’s blue eyes. The same shade of blue that was swimming in the periphery all around us had been born of my obsession with those eyes. I don’t think he ever realized why that color tantalized me so much. It had been one I had always been fascinated with, from the first time I saw him watching me play in the yard with our two brothers. Jay’s eyes had been blue too, but a lighter, duller shade than Deck’s vibrant ones.
Maybe, in the back of my mind I always knew which brother would be the prize, and when I thought it was lost to me I transferred my hopeful affections to the one who never really saw me. Who knew what the mind of a little girl had conjured up? What I did know was that I was ever so thankful I ended up with the right one.
As we said our vows in front of our closest family, friends, and the club the tears continued to flow down my face until Merc finally announce that Deck could kiss his bride. He hissed out, “about time,” before attacking my face in front of everyone which led to laughter, more cat calls, and the gratuitous, “get a room,” bandied about by someone sounding just like my brother. I didn’t bother to verify that because I was too swept up in my new husband to care who said what, or why. That thought made it all very real, and startled me right into reality.
“You’re my husband,” I whispered into his lips, and immediately felt his returning grin.
“That’s right, and you’re my wife. No take-backs, baby. This is for life. You’re mine, and I’m yours, always.”
“Always,” I repeated, and then he swept me up into his arms and started marching us right back down the aisle, into the clubhouse, and then right back out the front door.
“Aren’t they having a reception for us?”
“They can have it by themselves. We’re going home. I have a threshold to carry you over, Mrs. Donovan.” I giggled in response as he strapped a different helmet to my head. This one was white with blue writing on the back that said “Just Married.”
*
~ Ever ~
…Four years later…
The stone felt cold to the touch as I placed the little toy motorcycle there. I was sure he would love it even as it made me supremely sad to know I’d never get to see him ride again. I would never get the chance to let him know how much I appreciated all the things he’d done for me over the years. There were so many bitter times for us before he passed, and now the worst pain of all was the regret for all the lost time between us. The things we could have known about one another, but would never have the chance again, stood sentinel just as much as the tombstone did thanks to its unique markings.
I leaned down and traced my fingers over the etching of the tattoo I had done for him. I hadn’t known until it was put here that he’d requested it be done before his death. Having been one of the six, the fool had a Last Will and Testament drawn up with the words in it that would etch our shared pain in this stone for as long as it stood sentry over his dead body. I still didn’t understand why it was important for him to put it there, but it set my heart to aching for both the painful memories, and the beautiful moments we were allowed before he passed, thanks to that tattoo giving us another start. My hand shook as I pulled it away and looked up into the equally saddened eyes of my husband. He startled a bit as his phone began to ring, and he passed our niece to me. I stood; bracing the tiny little girl on my hip as Deck spoke into the phone quietly, and then glanced at me, his lips tipping up into a slight smile. Good news then.
It was fitting we receive good news while standing here mourning the anniversary of the loss of our fallen family. My life had taken on a crazy balance over the years. For every horrible thing I had endured I had also been given its equal and opposite. I lost my mother, who had been a hard woman to love. I ended up gaining another who was as warm as they come. I lost years to misery a club brother cost me that I never wished to endure again only to be given insurmountable peace by another. I once thought that every eight years, give or take a few months, I would experience a horrible change in my life. I knew now that the overwhelming change wasn’t always a terrible thing. This year, things would change for the better. As I stood with my niece in my arms, honoring the fallen, and watching my husband take his call I knew without a doubt that things were not going to fall apart again. Especially when in our time of mourning and remembrance there was news that put a smile on my husband’s face again.
As he hung up and turned his full attention back to me it took him a moment to speak. In that time of quiet reflection he watched me with my niece, a pensive look etched in the fine lines on his face. “We’re welcoming a new family member today. We need to get to the hospital.” I tipped my head in a slight nod as I shifted my darling niece’s weight a bit. I was a tad queasy and carrying her this way wasn’t helping. “This is a natural look for you, Ev. I can picture it clearly one day when it’s not our niece you’re holding, but our own little one.”
“So, you want to have children with me some day?”
“As soon as you’re ready, babe,” he answered which made me smile. I took his hand in my free one and grinned up at him then.
“How does about seven months from now sound?” I watched as his eyes grew wide, and his smile followed. His hand released my own and he clasped my non-existent belly with both of his palms splayed out to encompass where I would grow full and round with his baby soon.
“It sounds perfect.” Deck glanced back over at the tombstone again, his smile dimming just a smidge. “You hear that? We’re adding to the family too. I promise you, they will know all about you, as if you were never gone from us.”
A tear trickled down my cheek as I leaned into Deck for support, my knees having gone a bit weak with his promise. He took our niece from my arms, and we walked back over to my car in order to head to the hospital to welcome another cherished member to the Aces High family.
The End.
Keep reading for a sneak peek at A Love So Hard, Luc
y and Double-D’s story of a lifetime.
A Love So Hard
Lucy
I fell in love with Charles “Double-D” Brothers when I was just 16 years old. He was 19 and had just patched in to the Aces High MC in Charleston, SC. The falling in love part didn’t matter though, because our life – our love – wasn’t destined to be an easy one. Then again, nothing worth having ever is.
In the beginning – I was too young, he was too wild, and my family was able to send me away to keep us apart.
Later, when I was 20 and he was 23 our paths crossed again. This time he was the one ready for me, but I wasn’t quite there yet. I allowed the club whores and rumors to drive me away, and then I let my pride and more lies keep me away despite the secret I took with me.
Double-D
The perfect woman was out there waiting for me to find her – again. Twice I’d lost her now, and twice it had been avoidable. It’s a damn shame that life had a nasty habit of screwing me over, because we were far from done with the roller coaster we’d been on so far. It didn’t matter though. The ride could keep on getting bumpier, and I’d never jump off. She was worth every single thing I had to endure just to feel her in my arms at the end of the day. If only I could keep her from running again…
*This is not an insta-love story. It’s a story of a lifetime.
Preview Chapter
(Lucy – age 16, Double-D – age 19)
~ LUCY ~
My daddy probably never realized how badly he messed up the day he let me hang out at work with him in the shop. He was a hell of a mechanic, especially when it came to working on Harley Davidson Motorcycles. My dad could make them purr like a kitten or roar like a beast, and either way they’d ride like a dream. Since he was the best there was around these parts it stood to reason that the Aces High Motorcycle Club tapped him to be there number one go-to guy when their bikes had serious problems.
The Other Princess Page 23
