Askjell nodded. This country surprised him every day. “But what of the sumptuary laws?”
“They were among the first laws to be trashed and banned. You should have seen the nobles’ faces. A real scandal it was,” the rider exclaimed and laughed. “Instead, luxury is horribly taxed. Vanity is the sole limit of one’s expense.” He turned towards him and held out his hand. “My name is Folc, captain of the royal guard. And you are?”
“Askjell. I am Lissandro’s squire. Please to meet you.” Askjell shook the man’s hand. “Forgive me my impertinence, but you do not seem older than me. You must have been a hero during the war to receive such an honorable function.”
Folc smiled. “I did my duty and fought for my king. Nothing more. It is a pity you came to us under dark times. Did you have the opportunity to visit the city before the epidemic spread?” As he leaned towards him for an answer, the captain brushed back a curl of his abundant auburn hair from over his freckled face.
“A bit. Nysa Serin is very different from our cities in the north. I had never seen a place without slaves or beggars. Though there are guards patrolling in every street, the people do not live in fear.”
“Not all the people, I would say. We had quite a high rate of death penalties, but it’s for crimes that are usually unpunished in other realms, like fraud or rape. Before the epidemic, the king had in mind to spread the model of Nysa Serin to all the cities of the realm. General laws already apply in every justice court, but many things were still at an experimental stage in the capital and its surroundings.” Folc motioned to the landscape around them. “All those large estates must be divided into small parcels and distributed to farmers and families as properties by rights. If the kingdom survives this plague.”
Askjell remembered his family estate in the Frozen Mountains. They had serfs working for them, but they were usually well fed. At least, Askjell supposed so, as the serfs never complained. He looked at the landscape again. During winter in the Frozen Mountains, life was suspended in time, covered under layers of snow, and the days were plunged in obscurity. Thanks to his father’s status as supplier of the royal court, he had had the privilege to learn to read and write. Therefore, he passed his nights engrossed in the sagas of heroes and legends of the gods. In his eyes, Lissandro was not only King Thorkell’s son, but a living hero who had defeated a wizard and a dragon. It was an honor to accompany him on this journey. He looked at the five riders in front of him.
Lissandro had not said a word since their departure. Askjell knew that his companion was quick-tempered and tended to sulk when upset. The fact that they hadn’t even halted for lunch was probably the cause of his grouchy mood. In front of Lissandro rode a young monk, probably a few years older than him. The man had peculiar eyes which reminded Askjell of cats or lynxes. His features were a bit too seductive for a religious man. Askjell had exchanged a few words with him but had felt an unpleasant contempt emanating from the monk, as if he were no more than a dumb peasant in his eyes. Next to him rode the only woman of the expedition. Her scarred face was a mask of sorrow and pain. Askjell had overheard that she had lost her child and thought she probably wanted to be left alone. He would not dare either to talk to the royal couple. The king seemed as pleasant as an executioner’s axe. As for the queen, not only was Askjell still uncomfortable with the concept of a male queen, but the man looked as miserable as the mourning woman. With such a cheerful company, Askjell decided to keep on riding along the guards. He reminded himself to write a note on the atmosphere in his book. Solemn and filled with respect for their honorable mission, the brave rode through the mists of winter. A few embellishments never hurt anyone.
At the end of the third day, they arrived in sight of a picturesque town nestled in the bottom of a valley. On the hill behind stood the ruins of an old castle, the stones of which were entirely black.
“Where are we?” Askjell asked Folc.
“This is Mighthorn.”
Askjell looked at the castle with attention. Jagged in the grey sky, parts of the ramparts and the base of the dungeon were what was left of the famous Mighthorn’s keep. The gloomy fortress’s ruins gave him shivers. As they rode closer, he imagined the torture chambers and the secret passages. Askjell saw the king trot back towards them. When he drew level with Folc, he halted.
“There is an inn east of the town. We will spend the night there. You can send your men to town to find a place to sleep. They need rest as much as we do,” the king said to his captain.
While Folc talked to his men, Askjell kicked his mount and joined Lissandro. After two nights around campfires, he looked forward to sleeping under a roof again.
13
The Limping Bard Inn was a two-story thatched farmhouse with a barn on the side. The walls leaned in every direction, and the chimney still held by some kind of miracle. The yard was muddy, with broken barrels along the walls. Here and there, chickens pecked at rotten garbage. Louis didn’t care if the place was of ill repute or a deathtrap. He was tired and had grown a headache over the whole afternoon. He removed the circlet from his brow and put it in his bag. The last thing he wanted was to be curtsied to, bowed at, or be subject to any loathsome courtesies. Maybe with chance, Selen’s hair color wouldn’t attract the attention and they would be left in peace.
A lad in a brown tunic and jerkin came out of the tavern and approached them. “Can I take care of your horses?”
“Do you have rooms for the night?” Lissandro asked.
“You’re lucky. We only have two travelers tonight. Go inside and speak with Mahault. She’ll fix that.”
They dismounted and handed their reins to the lad. Folc accompanied the boy to the stables with the rest of their horses. Meanwhile, the riders walked inside the inn. Though tallow candles hung on the walls and decorated the tables, it was dark inside, and the low ceiling kept the place smoky. Yet, Louis smelled a pleasant odor of broth. A bunch of travelers sat in a corner with tankards, while at his side, a couple of peasants shared a pot-au-feu. Lissandro hailed a dumpy, red-faced woman behind the bar. While his friend made the arrangements for their stay, Louis and the rest of them took a seat at a table.
Not interested in small talk, Louis stared at the cracks on the board. He hadn’t met Selen’s eyes since their departure. It had been easy to avoid his friend when they had camped in the wild. Now, he didn’t know how to react. He was still cross but refused to display more private emotions in front of their group. By chance, Askjell sat in front of him. The boy had not spoken to him once and would probably leave him alone.
Lissandro joined them and sat next to Kilda. “The place was really empty. We have four rooms for the night. You can have your own room, Kilda. The rest of us will share the three others. I have also ordered chicken and broth.”
“I can’t wait to eat something,” Askjell said, in a good mood.
“The chickens are on the spit,” Lissandro said.
“That sounds wonderful,” Kilda said, waking up from her morosity.
As he listened to them, an unpleasant feeling grew in Louis’s stomach, adding more trouble to his headache.
The dumpy woman came with their food and seven tankards of ale. His companions cheered at the sight of the crispy, roasted meat. Louis cut a thick slice of bread and poured a ladle of broth on it.
“It felt peculiar to see this place again,” Lissandro said, his mouth full of chicken. “I would not mind going for a walk through the ruins, but I assume we have no time for that.”
“This is gruesome, Lilo,” Folc said. “People died in there. You, too, could have.”
“I would not mind seeing the ruins, but it’s a long walk from here,” Eliot said.
“We are still too close to it to my liking,” Kilda mumbled. She took a sip of her ale and coughed. “This tastes like piss.”
“Watch your words. You’re supposed to be a lady now,” Louis mumbled.
“Well, people have died a bit everywhere for hundreds of years. After some time,
it’s not gruesome, it’s historical,” Lissandro carried on. “With a touch of gothic. Like in Poe’s short stories. I like that.”
“Shouldn’t you wait for the protagonists to be dead before decreeing it historical?” Louis objected.
“I don’t know. To me, you are a historical relic yourself, but you are well alive,” Lissandro said.
Louis’s fingers clenched on his tankard. He was tempted to throw his ale in Lissandro’s face. Tonight, he had no patience for his witticisms. It seemed that all his friends had forgotten why they were here. That while they ate their juicy chicken, hundreds of people were sick or dying in his city. Louis regretted his departure. They could well have left without him. Whatever the excuse he would find, he was a traitor. Though he had barely touched his food, he got up and left his seat without a word.
“Second door up the stairs,” Lissandro whispered as Louis passed behind him. “I’m sorry.”
Louis went upstairs and entered the room. It was small with one single bed covered with sheep furs. A candle was lit on the table and a rustic chest, probably filled with blankets, stood on the side. He let his bag, sword, and coat fall in a corner and sat on the bed. Slowly, he massaged his temples to make the pain go away.
The door opened. Selen entered and stepped in silence to the other side of the room. His coat fell on the floor with a puff. A boot thumped on a stool. “Won’t you even look at me?” Selen said sharply.
Not as long as you have this irritating attitude, Louis thought. I can’t stand seeing you like that. Yet, he missed seeing his friend. He didn’t feel Selen’s presence at his side anymore, and he needed it dearly. Maybe if he tried to make the first move, all this would be over. Maybe all Selen wanted was a heartfelt smile and the assurance of being loved. He forced himself to turn around and stared at Selen. Once his gaze fell on his love’s sweet face, he realized how much he had missed him. When he saw the sadness in Selen’s eyes, all he wanted was to put his pride on the side and take him in his arms. Louis didn’t feel sorry for anything, but he was ready to forgive. However, something in Selen’s face prevented him from moving. Selen was still angry. More, his friend was angry at him. No. However he tried, Louis couldn’t stand it. His anger grew back.
“What again?” Louis hissed.
“Will you listen to me now?” Selen said in the same tone.
“I won’t listen to you as long as you are not your own self again.” Louis got up and faced Selen. “Your behavior is intolerable. The man I love has only compassion and affection in his heart. He would concentrate on our mission and not brood selfish thoughts.”
“I am selfish? When all you do is focus on yourself and your vision of things,” Selen exclaimed, his hands ripping the air on the sides of his face.
Louis was taken aback. How could Selen say such outrageous lies? It didn’t make any sense. “It is not you,” he whispered in disgust. He shook his head. “It is not you!”
“It is me!” Selen shrieked. His hair twirled around him when his screwed-up face confronted Louis. “But maybe you would prefer someone else.” Selen put one hand over his mouth. Tears ran down his cheeks.
“What?” Louis looked at Selen with shock and outrage. His heart contracted. I didn’t hear that, I didn’t. “I opened up to you! I do it once in a lifetime! Replacing you? How can you be that stupid?” he yelled the last word with a mix of grief and rage.
Selen dashed to him. The pain in his friend’s eyes was unbearable. Whatever the words they had shared, Louis was ready to grab him in his arms and hold him tight until the pain faded away. Stop this madness, Selen, please. But Selen halted before he reached him. “Yes, stupid. It’s all I am to you. And what next? Will you put me on a fancy leash and walk me around like a trophy? Like a relic of the past you love so much? You don’t love me for who I am but for what you expect of me, for what I represent. And that’s what I’ve forced myself to be every day.”
At these words, Louis’s heart fell to pieces. He couldn’t believe his friend had uttered such horror. For an instant, he wanted to slap him, to hit him until the real Selen inside came back to life again. Yet, he couldn’t. Though his suffering was mixed with hate for the monster he now faced, he would never be able to hurt the one he loved. Somewhere, deep in those swollen emerald eyes, Selen was screaming his sorrow. Louis’s head spun. With his last strengths, he repressed the tears welling up in him and stepped away from the horror in front of him. In this moment, the Selen he loved was no more. He left the room and slammed the door behind him.
Louis was back in the tavern again. He needed to get out, to run out of here before he couldn’t control himself anymore. He strode down the stairs and across the main room. Lissandro and Folc, who had hurried towards him at first, jumped from his path. Louis pushed the door and went out. The fresh air of the evening was already a relief, but he kept on walking to the stables. Only there did he allow the first tears to run down his cheeks. He went to a corner and grabbed a ball of straw that he spread on the ground.
“After all I did, all I imposed on myself to make your life easier. How dare you?” Louis fell on his knees. “Why?” Louis lay down and cried his soul out, curled on himself.
14
Lissandro heard a door slam. “What on earth is happening?” he grunted and rose. Folc joined him. When Lissandro saw Louis go down the stairs, he first hurried to see if his friend was all right. Then, he saw Louis’s face.
“Back away,” Lissandro exclaimed, pushing Folc back with his arm. Louis strode to the door and left the inn.
“You know that face?” Lissandro asked Folc.
“Oh, yes. I’ll go check on Louis. I don’t think he had his sword with him,” Folc said.
“No, but he may have a dagger. I’ll go check on Selen.”
Lissandro hurried the steps and opened the door to Selen’s room. His friend lay on the bed, crying all the tears of his body into a pillow. He is fine. Lissandro breathed again.
Lissandro stepped towards the bed. “I didn’t ask when we were in the palace, but now I want to know. What’s going on?”
“I want a child,” Selen sobbed.
This was the last thing Lissandro had been ready to hear. It was just surreal. Once he had stomached the information, he took a moment to think about it. The unreasonable amount of attention for the children at the hospital, Kilda’s baby… It could make sense, but still. No wonder Louis had gone off the rails.
“He is about to lose everything he has created, and that’s all you came up with to support him?” Lissandro said.
“I…I said words I didn’t mean, and…I saw his heart break,” Selen muttered between two sobs, his body reduced to a trembling heap huddled on the bedsheets. “I feel so miserable.”
“Oh, and about to lose you. You know he has suicidal tendencies and is inclined to erratic behavior, right?” Lissandro said, without hiding his irritation. “Besides, if you give him up, he will never forgive you. The man holds a grudge like a dog with a bone.”
Selen wiped his cheeks and nose with one hand and sniffed. He turned towards Lissandro and propped himself on one elbow. “Don’t be scared to say it. If I give him up,” he hiccupped, “if I give him up, he will kill me. But it won’t happen. I will never give up on him… My feelings are unchanged. I love him with all my heart. And…and I saw he wanted me back.” More tears shimmered in Selen’s eyes.
Lissandro sighed. He was impressed Louis had made a first move after enduring that. “Then why don’t you go back to him?” And spare us from more troubles.
“Though it breaks my heart, if I give up on my dreams, I will always live according to his will.”
Well, yes, this is basically what living with Louis means, Lissandro thought. But until now, I thought you had the same dreams.
“He has to learn to let go. We both have to make sacrifices,” Selen carried on.
Lissandro snorted. “You talk about the same man who forces himself to live in a palace of silk, who endures socializing with
people he can’t stand, and who officialized you as a queen out of respect. I understand you are sad or upset, but there is a limit of stupidities one can say in a day, and you are no idiot.” Lissandro sat down next to Selen and held his hand. “Besides, a family is not a sacrifice. It’s a step you will take together. Louis is not ready, and you’re only hurting him. After all he did for you. Don’t lie to yourself, Selen. He worships you, and you crushed his heart by provocation. Your behavior is not only foolish, it’s dangerous. If he ever feels humiliated, we will pay the consequences.”
“I feel so bad. What should I do?” Selen whispered.
“I don’t know. It’s your decision. Try to rest and clean the mess in your head. You have been through a lot lately. You need to come back to your old self.” Lissandro moved to leave, but Selen held his hand.
“Can you stay with me through the night?” Selen asked.
“No, Selen. I know you mean no harm, but if there is one thing you should never do it is to trigger jealousy in Louis. Ever. You understand?” Selen nodded. “Do you want me to ask Kilda to sleep next to you instead?” Selen shook his head. “All right. Try to sleep now. I’ll sleep the room next door if you need anything. I will make sure Louis is fine.”
Lissandro got up and went to the door. He looked back at Selen curled on the furs, still sobbing faintly. You’re a sweetheart, but such a stupid one sometime. Lissandro went out. He crossed the main room and headed to the stables. I hope the soundproofing here is good, or they will laugh at us in taverns down to the Crysas Peninsula. Outside, twilight was falling and mist rose from the fields and woods around towards the courtyard. A lantern at his side, Folc sat in front of the stables’ door.
“Still alive?” Lissandro asked.
“It’s not funny,” Folc answered. “I care for him.”
Light from Aphelion 2 - Tears of Winter Page 11
