by Nikki Chase
Oh, well. At least it doesn’t look like she completely hates my guts.
“Hey.” I give her a smile and approach the counter.
“What are you doing here?” Piper asks.
“Well, this is a shoe store, so…buying shoes?” I hope a joke will help lighten the mood.
“Uh-huh. Buying the whole store, it seems like.”
“What can I say? I’m like the male version of that girl in Sex and the City.” I watch her stare flatly at me, so I change my tack. Grinning, I say, “Okay, you got me. I’m actually here to see you. Surprise.”
No reaction. Okay, that wasn’t very funny, I guess.
I let out a big sigh. “I’m so relieved to see you, Piper. I really thought I’d never see you again.”
She continues to stare with her lips firmly shut.
“Piper, I’m so sorry,” My chest tightens. Is this how guilt feels? It’s fucking heavy. “I shouldn’t have lied to you.”
She doesn’t say anything, but I don’t expect her to forgive me right away.
Her moving out sent me a very clear message that she’s serious about ending things between us. I should’ve seen that determination when we were having the fight; I should’ve insisted on staying.
But at least she’s still here, listening. With the only other staff member busy in the back, Piper is manning the store on her own now. I have a captive audience. I should take this chance to say all the things I want her to know.
“Listen, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I know I’ve been a lying jerk who never seems to take anything seriously,” I say, repeating the same words that Piper, Dad, and Diana have all used.
I didn’t see it before because I was too focused on getting the next clue to find Piper. But as I was walking around the mall, I had time to be on my own with my thoughts.
And I see it now. I see how oblivious I’ve been.
“I know you’re not ready to forgive me now, but that’s okay. I don’t need you to forgive me right this minute. But I’ll earn it. I’ll do anything you want me to.”
“I don’t want you to do anything, Rafe,” she says.
Like an idiot, my heart skips a beat when my name slips out from her mouth. I want to grab her and crush my lips against hers, claim her as mine again. But I can’t do that.
“But I want to do everything for you. Is that so wrong?”
“It’s pretty selfish of you.” Her words stab into my chest like a knife.
“Ouch,” I say.
She shrugs, staring at me flatly.
“I’m so sorry, princess. I know I hurt you. I shouldn’t have. I want to tell you that I didn’t mean to do that in any way, but that probably doesn’t change the fact that I did.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“I’m hurting more than you know,” I say, getting a little choked up. I inhale deeply to regain my composure. Gazing into her baby blues, I say, “I want to make it up to you.”
“How am I supposed to even know you’re telling the truth right now?” Piper asks, sadness flickering in her eyes as they start to fill with water. She looks away from me and blinks a few times to stop herself from crying.
I want to reach out and pull her into my arms, tell her everything’s going to be fine, convince her we can fix this, but I know that’s just going to make her angry. I need to gain her trust first.
“All I can tell you is I’m being as honest as I can,” I say. “I wish there was some kind of proof I could show you.”
“But that’s the point, Rafe. What’s the point, if I need you to prove every little thing? What’s the point of us, if we can’t even trust each other?” Piper’s voice gets higher, even as it cracks with emotions.
“I trust you,” I say softly.
“But I don’t trust you.” She speaks just as softly, but the two words hit me like a cannonball.
I already know she doesn’t trust me, so why does it still hurt when I hear her say it?
“I don’t know what I can do to convince you that this is me, being as real as I can be. I’ve been miserable without you. I feel even worse than I did when I was in prison. I’d rather go back there than be apart from you.” I pause. “That doesn’t make much sense, does it? Because you wouldn’t be in prison.”
“Yeah,” Piper says with a humorless expression.
“I love you,” I blurt out before I can stop myself.
I cringe inwardly as soon as the words come out of my mouth, but it’s too late. They’re out there now.
And I know she’s not going to buy it, even though I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.
Piper studies my face. Her eyes look sad, then she sighs and looks down. “I can’t do this, Rafe.”
“I know. I want us to start over. I want to promise you that I’ll do better, that I’ll make it up to you. I want to promise you that I’ll always tell the truth, no matter how hard it is.” I let my words hang in the air. Stupidly, I still hope she’ll change her mind and give me another chance. When she remains quiet, I add, “But I know that’s a lot to ask. So I’ll show you that I mean everything I say. I hope you’ll see I’m being honest.”
Piper just looks at me blankly, not saying anything.
The store room door opens, and the guy from earlier comes out with a stack of shoe boxes in his arms. It’s so high I can barely see his eyes peeking above it.
“This is half of what we have in stock for all men’s shoes in size twelve,” he says as he rounds the counter.
“He just told me he doesn’t need to try them on, James,” Piper says, keeping her beautiful blue eyes on me. “He just wants to pay and leave.”
The guy looks at me with confusion, like he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing.
“I’ll go to the back and get the rest,” Piper says.
“I put them aside right by the door,” James says.
“Okay, got it.” With that, Piper disappears behind the door, where I can’t follow her.
“Are you sure you don’t want to try them on?” James asks.
“Yeah. Just ring them up.” If that’s what Piper wants, then I’ll play along.
“Okay.” James slowly lowers the stack of boxes onto the counter, careful not to tilt it too much.
As he scans the boxes one by one, an idea strikes me. This James guy looks like he can seize an opportunity when he sees one.
“James, right?” I ask.
He looks up from the boxes and smiles as he asks, “Yeah. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“As a matter of fact, there is one thing.”
I tell him my request. He seems surprised, but it doesn’t take him long to say yes.
I’m going to leave this store like Piper wants me to.
But I’ll be back. And I’ll show her I mean everything I say to her from today onward.
Piper
“So did you take the bus home tonight, or the Porsche?” Carly asks from the couch as soon as I open the door to the apartment.
“That’s not funny.” I push the door closed.
“Come on, it’s at least a little funny.” She cackles. “You’re just so glum these days, you can’t appreciate a good joke.”
“Have you thought about the possibility that maybe it’s just not a very good joke?” I plop down on the couch beside her.
“Nope,” she says. “You’re just being grumpy. Maybe it’s because you’re tired, but you could’ve been a lot less tired if you had taken the Porsche.”
“I heard you the first time.”
“How long are you going to make the poor guy wait? He’s been showing up at the mall entrance every time you get off work, right?”
“Yeah,” I say, exhausted.
“How long has it been?”
“One or two weeks.”
“Damn. You’re cold. You don’t even know how long it has been?”
“Yeah.” I actually know that he has shown up exactly nine times, but Carly doesn’t need to know that I’v
e been counting.
“Do you think he waits for you there, even when you’re not working?”
“How am I supposed to know that?” To be honest, I’ve been wondering myself how he manages to be there at the right time. Does he just wait there every night? What a waste of time.
McClaw jumps up to join us on the couch. After looking around, he chooses to curl up on my canvas bag. Great. Now I’m going to have orange hairs all over it.
George usually comes home pretty late at night, so there’s just Carly, me, and McClaw at home right now, but the only couch in the living room is already full.
“God, it’s even more crowded here than it was at our place, and you moved out to get more space with George,” I say. “Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not like you want to stay here.”
“Yeah. It’s just, I haven’t been able to find another place that will rent to me. With my credit score, I’m apparently a big risk.”
“I’m sorry, Piper,” Carly says, rubbing my arm. “What your dad did was really shitty.”
“Yeah. I don’t know, he was in a difficult spot, too.”
Carly stays quiet for a few seconds, although she obviously still has some pretty harsh things to say about my dad. When she finally opens her mouth, she says, “You know, I don’t get why you’d forgive your dad so easily, when you’re being so hard on Raphael.”
“You don’t think he’s wrong for lying to me?”
“Well, yeah, but you were just starting to see each other. Every couple takes a while to learn how to deal with each other. It takes some effort to find the balance.”
“He lied to me, Carly. He told me his mom has cancer. Who does that? It’s like, tempting fate. Why would he say that about his own mom? And she’s such a nice person, too.”
“Yeah, Elise Holt is, like, one of my mom’s favorite people,” Carly says. “Still, that’s just superstition, Piper. He probably doesn’t see it that way. And, before you bring it up, you know he doesn’t know about your mom. He has no idea it’s a sensitive subject for you.”
“But he lied to his own family. If he could lie to his own family, how am I supposed to trust him?” I ask, half-hoping that Carly will give me a good answer, one I can use to justify getting back with Raphael.
Even though I’m furious at him, I don’t want to be. I want things to go back to the way they were. I simply don’t know how we can just rewind all the way back to the beginning, because he’s been lying to me from the start.
“So he told his family you guys are engaged. Big deal. It’s not this big, destructive, family-tearing lie that you seem to imagine, Piper,” Carly says.
“I don’t even know why he did it.”
“I can help you there,” Carly says.
“Really?” I stare at her in anticipation. I’ve been wondering why he needs his family to think he has a fiancée. I don’t know what good it would do him.
“Yeah. So, my mom says the Holt family is, like, super close. Apparently, since Raphael got out of prison, he hasn’t been given much responsibility at work. Maybe he wants to be taken more seriously, and having a fiancée could do that,” Piper says. “I know it sounds weird, but my mom says that’s just how their family is.”
“Did you talk to your mom about this?” I ask with a sigh.
“You already know that I tell my mom everything, so by telling me stuff, you automatically agree to let my mom know, too.”
“That’s not really how it works,” I protest.
“Okay. Sorry. I don’t really tell her everything, but I wanted to dig more information from her, and I had to tell her something to do that.”
“You make it sound like you’re some kind of government agents in a spy movie, exchanging secret information.”
“Sometimes that’s how I feel, too.” Carly says.
“You just can’t admit that it’s only gossip.”
“That’s not gossip because it’s true. First-hand account. It’s only gossip when you don’t hear it straight from the source.”
“Okay,” I say.
“You know what’s gossip, though?”
“What?”
“Well, some of my friends know Raphael. Like, they used to party together. They say that he’s been missing lately.”
“He doesn’t seem to be missing to me.” I shrug.
“Well, that’s kind of the point. He’s been missing from the parties because he’s been spending all his time on you instead.”
“Maybe he just doesn’t feel like partying.”
“Eh, I don’t know. He’s been missing long enough that people are noticing. They’re already saying that he’s pulling a Cole Foster.”
“Huh? Who’s that?”
“Oh, right. I forget sometimes that you don’t know these people.”
“I’m sorry I don’t have rich friends.” I roll my eyes.
“You could have many rich friends if you didn’t work so much. It’s not like I hide them from you,” Carly says. “Okay, so anyway, Cole Foster used to be a party boy. Then, one day, he just disappeared. Now he’s married, with kids and everything. Doesn’t even run in the same circles anymore.”
“Okay.” I don’t see how this is relevant. I want to hear about Raphael, not some random guy whose name I’ve never even heard.
“What I’m trying to say is, I think he’s serious about you. I think he’s being honest about his feelings.”
“Okay.”
“And that maybe, just maybe—far be it from me to tell you what to do—but maybe you should give him a chance.”
“I don’t know, Carly.”
“Well, whatever you decide, you’ve done something pretty impressive. Many girls have tried to get Raphael to take them seriously, but he’s always been so slippery. He’s stuck around for you, though. That’s something, coming from a guy like him.”
I stare quietly at the wall.
I can’t deny that what Carly has just told me sounds like Raphael really does like me. And maybe… Maybe he even loves me, like he said.
But I need to think about this.
To be honest, this whole thing scares me. The stakes were low with Mark because I never felt that deeply about him in the first place.
But Raphael, I have real feelings for him. If this goes wrong, I can really get hurt. And if I let myself fall, I don’t know if I can trust him to be there to catch me.
My phone suddenly rings. I jump from the shock, my thoughts derailed.
I look at my bag, where the phone is. McClaw doesn’t have eyebrows, but I could swear he’s frowning. Glaring, even. He still has sleepy eyes, and he doesn’t understand why “his bed”—my bag—is vibrating and making noises.
I push him away, and he turns that feline anger toward me. He gets up and walks away, his tail whipping from side to side. He looks like he’s already looking for the perfect place to leave a hairball as revenge for sending him away.
I pull the phone out and check the screen. It’s Dad.
To my surprise, I’m disappointed. I guess I was hoping it was Raphael calling me.
I tap the green button. “Hello.”
“Sweetheart. We have good news!” Dad says. He sounds unusually cheerful.
“Let me guess. Discounts at the liquor store?” I ask sarcastically.
“No. They’re stopping the foreclosure,” he says, his cheerful mood unaffected by my comment.
“Are you serious?” My jaw drops. I widen my eyes at Carly, but she can only look back with confusion. I bet she won’t believe it either when I tell her later.
“Of course! I wouldn’t lie to you about that,” Dad says.
“Did you manage to pay the bank?”
“No. But I got a call from the bank, from someone called… Uh, Gabriel? Castiel?”
“Raphael?” I frown, which only gets Carly more curious. She leans forward and presses her ear to the back of the phone.
“That’s it!” Dad exclaims.
“What did h
e say?” I ask suspiciously.
“He said he’ll stop the foreclosure. I asked him, ‘what’s the catch?’ He said he just wants to have dinner with you.”
“What?”
“Yeah, that’s how I reacted, too. But, sweetheart, I don’t see the harm. It’s just dinner. He assured me he’s not asking for anything more than that. Don’t you think it’s worth considering? To get our home back?”
Carly grabs my thigh, apparently just as shocked as I am. This really came out of left field.
What do I do?
Piper
“You can stop staring at yourself now. You look great already,” Carly says.
“Thanks.” For the ninety-sixth time in the past hour, I check my reflection in the mirror by the front door of the apartment. I’m wearing my favorite little black dress tonight. It’s both versatile and flattering. Not too formal or too casual.
“You look like you're trying to impress someone,” she says, looking at me through the mirror with one eyebrow raised.
“Ha-ha.” Normally, I’d come up with something wittier, but I don't have the energy to spare right now.
There's knocking on the door. One, two, three times.
Raphael is here.
“Ooh, he’s here!” Carly says excitedly. Grinning like the Cheshire cat, she practically skips toward the door before I can stop her.
“Hi!” Carly exclaims when she pulls the door open.
“Hi,” Raphael says tentatively. His deep, masculine voice makes my heart race. “I’m here to see Piper?”
“Yeah, she's just getting ready. Don't worry, you're in the right place.” Lowering her voice into a loud whisper, she adds, “She's been primping in front of the mirror for hours.”
Oh god. I can't believe she just said that. I glance at my red face in the mirror. I can't go out looking like this.
“Has she now?” Raphael asks. I can almost hear the smile in his teasing voice, and it only makes me want to see him even more.
“Oh, I’m Carly, by the way.”
“Nice to meet you, Carly. I'm—”
“Raphael. I know,” she says. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
