You watch the feather pattern as it draws across your flesh, and feel the strange, distant itching when those patterns become three-dimensional.
Your bones hollow and shrink, your arms twist and rotate, your insides slosh and melt and reform into inhuman organs.
Your feet, your soft, stubby, awkward human feet melt like wax and then harden into talons.
As wonderful as the eagle's beak is, the talons are the true weapons. So powerful they can grab and hold a young lamb. They can snatch and squeeze and penetrate flesh and organ and skull and brain.
Eyes that can see a flea hopping on a rabbit's back from fifty yards away! Ears that can hear a mouse sneeze! Reflexes like lightning!
A wonderful creature. A natural predator. Raptor! The killer from the sky!
I wondered if I could take Tobias in an air-to-
19 air fight. He was more maneuverable and experienced. But I had the brute power.
Well, another day, maybe. Tobias was a true warrior. The right sort of partner for me. Someone who understood that -
«Ready?» Tobias asked. «Come on, there are some sweet thermals coming up off the freeway today with this sun.»
I flapped my wings. I turned to catch a slight headwind. My wings filled and I soared.
Up and up and up we went. Tobias was right! The thermals off the freeway, the heat boiling up from sunbaked concrete and car engines was like an elevator beneath our wings.
Up and up!
We were gods! We could have flown to the sun! Humans in their cars were puny, flaccid, paltry, limited creatures, far, far beneath us.
A quarter mile up there was a delicious, cool breeze that we used to rocket us forward, zooming over factories and parking lots, over meadows and streams and woods.
Then . . .
Far, far below, so far no human could ever have spotted it, a school of fish, fast and silver, in a stream decorated with garlands of white water.
I spilled air, tucked my wings back, and dove.
The rush!
20 The thrill!
I was an eagle being an eagle. Pure raptor! Pure rapture!
That struck me as a good thought. «Tobias!» I cried. «Pure raptor, pure rapture! Ah HAH!»
«Rachel, what are you doing?»
Down, down, down, so fast the wind was a hurricane over my wings. Then, slow just a bit, use my tail to aim, to change my trajectory as I singled out a single, particular victim.
My eagle's eyes, adapted by nature for seeing through water, filtering out the glare, saw it all: six fish, six trout, all unaware, and one, one I chose, would die!
You! You will never live to chase another fisherman's lure! I have chosen you to die!
I raked my talons forward.
I flared my wings.
A splash!
The sudden, lovely feeling of my talons striking firm, cold flesh.
Strike!
I squeezed and talons sank deep. The fish, only now recognizing its doom, squirmed. Helpless! I am the eagle! You cannot resist me!
I fluttered, carrying the spasming creature over to the bank. I landed on a flat rock. I steadied myself with one talon and held my victim with the other.
21 I looked into his stupid, terrified eyes, and with my razor beak I ripped him open. Scales flew. Fish guts spilled.
I buried my beak, up to the eyes in the cool, squirming flesh. I felt the heart still beating.
I ate the fish, ripping big chunks and gulping them down.
«Rachel! What are you doing? Did you lose control of the morph?»
«What am I doing? I am eating this fish. He's mine! Get back! He's my kill. MY kill!»
I ate the heart. Then, it stopped beating.
22
h, that outfit is so, like, cute!" I said.
"Uh-huh," Cassie agreed with absolutely no enthusiasm whatsoever.
Cassie is my best friend in the whole world. But she is totally not into clothing or shopping. I mean, I love her, but the girl dresses like someone who should be wearing a tool belt and saying, "Like, can I fix your leaky faucet or whatever?"
Me, I love shopping. I have a talent for it. You know the way Mozart could write music, or Shakespeare could write words? Or the way Will Smith can be all cute? That's how it is with me and shopping.
23 I had already worked out a plan: the sale at Abercrombie and Fitch, a quick stop at Lady Foot Locker, take the right turn to the department store where they were having a twenty-percent-off sale, swing back past Body Shop, The Limited, and finally top it all off with an Aunt Annie's soft pretzel, no butter but lots of salt.
I'd already figured out what to say to Tobias to apologize. I had an obligation to Tobias, I realized. Yes, an obligation. But shopping was more fun than obligation.
"One third off!" I squealed with delight. "Oh! Do they have my size? It would be so, so cool if they had my size and all. That would be the best!"
"Yeah, that would be right up there with a cure for cancer," Cassie teased.
"You should get one in your size!" I said. "Only, we couldn't ever wear them on the same day, so, like, we'd have to always call each other the night before and check with the other person. And then, if you wanted to wear it, well, if I didn't want to wear it, then okay. Only what if I wanted to wear it the next day? Then it would be like, 'Hey, everyone, Rachel's wearing what Cassie wore yesterday.' So -"
"Rachel?"
"Yes?"
24 "Are you okay?"
"Why do you keep asking me if I'm okay?" I asked.
"Because you're being -"
"Do you think Tobias will be really sad that I didn't go flying with him?" I asked. "I feel bad about that."
"Well, why didn't-"
"Oh, look! Look! No, don't look now! Okay, look! It's the guy from the CD store! He is soooooocute!"
Suddenly, as I worked my way around the circular sale rack, I brushed into someone.
"Oh, sorry," I said.
"Sorry?"
It was some girl I didn't know. Kind of big. Bigger than me, anyway. And she had, like, this angry look in her eyes. She looked me up and down. Like she didn't like my looks.
It scared me.
I gulped.
"Get out of my way, airhead," she snapped.
Cassie jumped forward and put her hand on my arm. "Rachel, let it go."
The girl guffawed. "Yeah, Rachel, let it go. Get out of my way before I kick your skinny, preppy, mall-crawling, bubblehead, blond butt."
"Rachel," Cassie warned, "let it go. You don't need to go postal over this."
25 I felt the tears start. I bit my lip.
"S-s-s-sorry," I said to the mean, mean girl.
I turned and ran away. I buried my face in my hands and ran.
"What the . . ." Cassie said.
"You, too, Farm Girl," I heard the mean girl say to Cassie.
I stopped running when I found a bench outside Baby Gap. I just, like, sat there, all collapsed, trying to get hold of myself.
Cassie came running up. She's my best friend. So I knew she'd talk to me and be nice and make me feel better.
I looked up at her through blurry tears.
She stood with hands on hips and a shocked expression on her face and looked down at me.
"Okay," she said, "what have you done with Rachel?"
26 X hate the mall. I don't know why I ever thought I liked it. Must be one of those things where you just suddenly wake up one day, the scales fall from your eyes, and you behold The Truth: The mall sucks.
I mean, if you ever want to really experience contempt for your fellow human beings, go to the mall. They moo along like cattle, little knots of them, little gaggles of them. Like sheep!
Tired-looking, pasty-faced mommies busily crushing the wild free spirits of their children; galumphing teen boys with idiot expressions covered by acne pustules; high-heeled trophy wives with their squat, bald, fireplug husbands in tow.
What a hideous spectacle. And all for what?
27 To buy, bu
y, buy! Shopping: sport of the brain-dead.
But what was I going to do? I had to do something with my clothing situation. I mean it was pathetic! After flying with Tobias, and after he got all weird, I headed home. I'd left my clothes on the bus after I ditched the stupid field trip. Anyway, I get home, and what do I find in my closet? Girl clothes!
Yeah, yeah, I am a girl. But I mean that all of my clothing was so squeaky clean, so preppy, so "good girl."
I'd never really thought about it before. I mean, I bought the stupid clothes, all right? But they chewed!
I needed something with a little more of an edge, man. I needed some leather, yeah, some black leather. That was it. Leather.
I tried to think of what to do. I mean, I guess I knew I'd have to go to the mall, but it was complicated. First I didn't know how to get there. Then, once I was there, I didn't know where to go. Too many shops. I tried to think about it, you know, focus and all, but it was just confusing.
Confusing because it was so stupid! That's why. Because it was stupid!
I shoved past this obnoxious couple that was getting all goo-goo because their kid was walking. He was like two. Big deal, he could walk.
28 "Hey! Watch it, please!"
"You watch it, old man," I replied politely.
"My son is trying to walk," the woman said.
"Yeah, and with your DNA in him that'll probably be his highest accomplishment," I said tolerantly.
I brushed past. I spotted Cassie up ahead and slowed up. Didn't need her, right then. Cassie's all right, but man, she can complicate the simplest thing. You know? 1 mean, life is pretty simple, right? The strong eat the weak. That's about it. No complications.
Cassie was running toward Baby Gap. Great, she'd probably meet up with the proud mommy and daddy and the staggering, drooling baby.
I cut into Williams-Sonoma, the kitchen store, to avoid having Cassie see me. Don't know why, just didn't want to hook up with her right then.
So anyway, I go into Williams-Sonoma, and what do I see? Knives! So many knives! A rack of them with plastic over it, plus a counter with a bunch of them in knife blocks.
Well, I like knives. How can you not like knives?
"Aww, it's the crybaby," someone said. Some girl.
I pushed past her.
She grabbed my arm. This was a mistake.
29 I grinned at her. "Back off, you hideous, putrid, diseased-looking lump of lard," I said.
I was being nice. I was giving her a chance.
"What are you gonna do, little J. Crew girl? Bust out in tears a -"
My right hand shot toward her throat. She jumped back. I lashed out with my left foot and caught her hard on the shin.
She yelled.
A good sound.
I plowed into her, shoulder down, and slammed her back against the knife rack.
The twelve-inch chef's knife was in my hand. So easy to plunge it into her heart.
But you know, I kind of liked this girl. She reminded me of me.
I grabbed a handful of her sweatshirt.
Thunk!
I buried the chef's knife in her sweatshirt. The knife quivered in the wood counter. She was pinned.
She was scared, too.
I grabbed more sweatshirt and . . .
Thunk!
The boning knife went in.
Thunk!
Bread knife.
Thunk!
Seven-inch utility knife.
30 Naturally, she was screaming during all this.
"Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh!"
I grabbed the cleaver. I held it high in the air, like I was gonna slam it down on her head.
Then, I laughed. I pinched her cheek and tugged back and forth while she shook and quivered.
"I like you," I said. "I really do. We could be friends. But watch who you pick your fights with."
I walked away, sliding past the security guards who were rushing in.
Maybe the mall isn't so bad after all.
31 L-assie's barn. I'd been there a hundred times. But now it seemed different. Scary.
I mean it's like, full of, like, animals. Wild animals. Geese. Raccoons. Foxes. Squirrels.
Okay, I know squirrels aren't scary, but sometimes they have rabies.
It's kind of dark inside. There are lights on, but there are shadows, too. Deep shadows. Especially at night. Which it wasn't. It was day. Late afternoon. Or is it evening? When does afternoon end and evening begin? I mean, is there like a certain time when . . .
Anyway, it was like day, okay? But inside it was still dark and all. I could see the animals in their cages. Mostly sick or injured because after
32 all it is the Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic. So, duh, they would be sick or injured to be in a clinic, right?
Duh, Rachel.
What was I saying?
Oh, yes, the animals. Well, there were a lot of them, in cages.
But just as scary was the fact that the others were there, too. The Animorphs.
I mean, I am an Animorph, right? I have the morphing power that Elfangor gave us all. And I have turned into, like, lots of animals. Although now I can't believe I ever did that.
Jake was there. He's my cousin. He's cute. Kind of big. I mean, if we weren't cousins . . .
And Marco was there, too. He's cute, too, in a different way. I would probably go out with him if he asked me.
And Tobias, of course. He was up in the rafters fluffing up his wings. He's cute when he's human.
And Ax.
Ax is not cute. Ax is very, very strange. I mean he's, like, not human? He's, like, an alien. Imagine if you had this big, mostly blue deer, and you grafted a long scorpion tail on one end and a human-looking upper body on the other end. Only the head didn't have a mouth at all and it had an extra set of eyes on stalks? Stalks that
33 can, like, move? So his eyes can look in any direction?
Major creepy.
"We have a problem," Cassie said, looking at me.
"We do?" I said.
"Jake, we were at t he mall," Cassie said. "Some girl shoved Rachel and -"
"Oh, man, what did you do, Rachel?" Jake asked. "You have to learn to restrain your -"
"She cried," Cassie said.
"What?"
"She cried. And ran away. And cried."
Everyone stared at me.
"Who cried?" Marco demanded, looking confused.
"Rachel."
"Rachel cried?" Marco asked. "You mean a little wetness, like maybe something was in her eye?"
"I mean like 'Boo hoo, that girl was so mean,'" Cassie clarified.
"No," Marco said.
"Yes."
"No. No. The sun does not rise in the west, the Chicago Cubs don't win the World Series, Scully never, ever believes Mulder, and Rachel does not cry. These are the things I know."
"Boo. Hoo."
34 "You're jerking us around, Cassie," Marco said.
"I have proof," Cassie said.
"Okay," Jake said skeptically.
Cassie looked at me. "Rachel? Tell me what you said to me about Marco on our way over here."
"What?"
"What you said to me on the bus about Marco."
"You mean that he was like, funny?"
"Oh my . . ." Jake whispered.
"Rachel," Cassie pressed, "what do you think of Marco's looks?"
I shrugged. I smiled. "He's, like, cute, all right?"
Marco sat down very suddenly. On the hay-strewn floor.
Jake looked pale.
«This is unusual,» Ax said in thought-speak.
"She's uptalking," Marco said, shaken. "She said I was cute. She . . . she smiled. At me."
"Ax," Jake said and shot the Andalite a look.
FWAPP!
Faster than the human eye could see, Ax's tail whipped forward, over his head. The long, scythe blade stopped a millimeter from my throat.
"Yeerk," Marco said. "Has to be. They've infested her."
35 "No, no,
no," Cassie said. "If she was a Controller she'd sound exactly like Rachel. This is something different. A breakdown, maybe."
«She was weird with me, too,» Tobias said. «But in a different way. She was brutal, violent. In eagle morph she killed and ate a fish. She ate it while it was still living.»
Ax kept his blade against my throat. I would have fainted except that falling down could have been, like, fatal.
So I kept my quivering knees as firm as I could. But nothing would stop the tears rolling down my cheeks.
"Look!" Marco cried, like he'd just spotted the Holy Grail sitting on top of the Golden Fleece. "Tears!"
"What on Earth is -" Jake started to say.
But then the door of the barn burst open.
"All right! What's the mission, when do we start, and how many Yeerks do we get to kill today? I am hungry for some wild butt-kicking! Hah HAH!"
36
1 stared.
She stared.
She was me. I was her.
"There're two of them!" Jake said.
«They appear to be identical,» Ax said.
"Cool!" Marco said, climbing to his feet. "Now Tobias can have one and I can have the oth -AAAAHHHH!"
I ... I mean she . . . somersaulted.
She leaped, landed on her hands, flew through the air, and landed, feetfirst, against Marco's chest.
Marco landed very hard on his back. Rachel was astride him, squatting on his chest. Her
37 knees pinned his arms. She reached behind his head and grabbed a handful of his dark hair.
The other hand was balled into a fist, quivering, about a foot away from Marco's face.
"What did you say?" Rachel whispered.
"Not one single thing," Marco said. "Me? I said nothing."
Rachel ... I mean, the other Rachel, of course, rolled off him and laughed. It was a big, hearty, HAH HAH HAH laugh.
Ax withdrew the blade from my throat. I collapsed in a heap.
She stood over me. "Hey. You look like me."
I nodded, lip quivering.
"What's going on here?" she demanded loudly.
«That seems to be the question at hand,» Ax said mildly.
"The Drode? One of his tricks?" Jake demanded.
Cassie shrugged.
They kept staring. At me. At her. Back at me. It was like being an animal in a zoo.
And I kept staring, too. At her. For one thing, she was dressed totally differently from me. She was so, like, L.L. Bean meets Timberland by way of a Harley-Davidson rally. Not at all my look.
The Separation Page 2
