To Numa’s surprise, the people cheered. The Zobanites in the crowd stood and began clapping and singing. Numa remembered that their death ceremonies were always celebrations. Rather than bleak observances of death, they were glorious reminders of life. “Sing! Dance!” Numa shouted. “Let your laughter carry Gemynd to the Viyii!”
Numa walked to the far side of the pyre, watching the dancers through the flames. Every now and again, she thought she could see a piece of Gemynd, but when she’d move to focus on it, it was already covered by flame. Then something caught her eye in the middle of the pyre. It was shiny and seemed to have a light of its own. She studied it, waiting for it to disappear in the flames, but it only grew brighter as she watched.
“Gemynd’s dagger,” she whispered to herself. The brilliant jewels and metal rippled in her vision and Numa was unsure if the flames played tricks on her eyes or if the dagger was melting in the heat. “I always resented you. It was because of you that I first saw Gemynd as separate from me.”
As Numa heard her own words, she thought of the countless times her mothers and Radine had instructed her on the ways of perception. A flush passed through Numa’s body as her mind kindled with insight. “My perception of separation,” she said in a gasp. “The dagger symbolized my perception that there was separation between me and Gemynd. It was the dagger all along. That’s what the Deis had shown me. My greatest obstacle was my own belief in separation!”
Not knowing what to do with this new information, Numa continued to stare across the fire. She saw Soman holding Toa and thought about the Oneness of her daughter. Toa is Zobanite, Iturtian, and Empyrean in One. Body, Mind, and Lifeforce. Like a river that had burst through a dam, Numa’s thoughts would not cease their flowing. She thought of Archigadh and Golath and all that had been lost. Images of their journey to Skalja filled her mind and she heard Golath’s words once again. “The essence of something cannot exist outside of Skalja without Lifeforce,” she said aloud, then met Radine’s eyes through the flames. “I am Empyrean. I am Lifeforce.”
Radine bowed her head to Numa and smiled.
Numa smiled back, the drive of purpose eclipsing her grief. “I know what to do,” she said, mostly to herself, but she was certain Radine had heard the words.
Without another thought, Numa willed herself to Skalja. She passed through the Gate of Forgiveness, not bothering to ring the bell or ask Marko and Okram for their permission. They already had the jewels of Aerie as payment, and Numa had not yet taken anything in return.
“This time you cannot stop me from taking what I desire,” she said to them, knowing they were aware of her presence, watching her every move.
The landscape of Skalja appeared generally the same as before. It was dark and colorless with piles of objects creating hills and valleys as far as the eye could see. But this time, there were no cabali, nor people of any kind. Skalja was silent and empty.
“Gemynd!” Numa called, not sure which way to go to find him. Last time she had followed a light that drew her to the Future Teller’s shack. But this time there was no light, no sound telling her where to go.
She called again and again, afraid to wander too far since she had no idea where to go. Then she saw the side of one of the hills open as she’d seen when the cabali devoured Archigadh.
“Who’s there?” she whispered, walking towards the hill, afraid of what she might see, but desperate to find Gemynd.
Then Gemynd stepped out of the hillside looking disoriented. “Numa?” he asked softly.
“My love, I am here!” Numa exclaimed, running towards him. When she reached him, she threw her arms around him only to find they passed through with no resistance. It was just his essence after all.
“I cannot feel you,” Gemynd said, pressing his lips together as he tried to grasp Numa’s hand. “I am Joyful that we are together, but I want to touch you.”
Numa just shook her head in response. “We cannot.”
“I was dining with my mother and father and heard your voice, calling my name,” Gemynd said, confusion in his eyes as he looked over the landscape. “I heard you call several times until finding you was all that mattered. I followed your voice through a valley and it brought me here.”
Numa swallowed against the knot that had formed in her throat. She was looking upon the face of her love, the face she had so recently covered with the death cloth. She knew she should feel only Joy, but the reminder that they would never touch again was like reliving the initial grief all over again. “There is something I must tell you,” she said, folding her arms to keep from reaching out to him. “You were never my obstacle, my love. You were never just the destroyer. In every pivotal moment of my life, you blazed the trail. You created the path that I would follow. You were the first one in the Aerie mines. You were the first glinter and the first to leave Aerie. And time and again it was you who made me expand my perception. When you destroyed Aerie, I had to see the truth of Todor. When you showed me the pit, I had to come to accept my own darkness. When you took over the minds of the people, and when you killed your mother, I came to know that I, too, am capable of causing harm if I believe it is the right thing. And when you died, I was forced to see that there is no Oneness without you.”
“I ache to hold you,” Gemynd said, reaching his arms towards Numa.
“And I you,” Numa said. “I will never again touch your beautiful body and I will grieve for that always. You had to die in order for me to perceive you differently. You gave me that gift because I was too stubborn or unwilling to change my perception on my own. I see you as you are now. I see the light in you. I want to ask you one more time: Will you please come back to Tolnick with me?”
Gemynd smiled broadly and let the outline of his hand rest on Numa’s. “My death was not only for you to perceive me differently, but also so that I could know how to truly love you. When I came here, I passed through the Gate of Forgiveness. In an instant, the madness I’d known all my life was gone. The doubt and questions were silenced. It didn’t happen because I had forgiven those who had wronged me, but because I forgave myself. Before that, my love for you was tainted with my need for you to ease the pain of my loneliness. When I forgave myself, I was able to accept my own Oneness. I don’t need you to ease my pain anymore. I had to stop using you as a shield in order to truly love you. And I do. I know my love for you is now perfect in every way. I see so many things clearly now that I embrace my Oneness. Perhaps most importantly, I now know that I do trust myself to let you lead. Yes, take me to Tolnick, my love, my queen.”
Numa blinked and tears of Joy spilled down her cheeks. “Your father told me that the essence of something will cease to exist outside of Skalja. A thing must have Lifeforce to exist in the rest of Todor.”
Gemynd nodded as his expression turned resolute. “That makes sense, my love, and I am prepared to abandon my existence to leave here with you.”
“No, love, you misunderstand. You will never die for me again. Had I understood Oneness correctly from the start, I would have seen that your death was never necessary at all, because you were never my obstacle.” Numa sighed, glad that she, too, had passed through the Gate of Forgiveness or she would surely have been overwhelmed by guilt. “As an Empyrean, I am the embodiment of Lifeforce and Joy in Todor. I believe your essence can exist outside Skalja once I give you some of my Lifeforce. Come, stand right next to me and let’s see how this works.”
As Gemynd walked closer, Numa felt for her Lifeforce within her. Once she felt its vibration, she moved streams of it into Gemynd’s outline. Gradually he turned from shades of grey to a brilliant, glowing blue. He was still only an outline, but Numa recognized the Lifeforce within him. “You look like Radine,” she mused.
Gemynd looked down at himself. “I’d like to think that even my essence is more handsome than Radine,” he teased.
“You are beautiful.” Numa sighed again. This wo
uld be the perfect moment to share a kiss with her husband. But looking at him would have to be good enough.
“Let’s go to Tolnick,” Gemynd said. “You’ve waited long enough for this moment.”
Numa sent a message to her mothers to bring all the people to the city square in Tolnick. Then she closed her eyes and willed herself and Gemynd to the throne room at the top of the keep.
“You’re here,” Soman said as he rushed through the door of the throne room.
“Gemynd is with me,” Numa said. “Can you see him?”
Soman looked all around the room then shook his head. “No, but I can feel him. I can feel a wholeness that only comes when the three of us are together.”
Tatparo, Toa, and Keeper Sam came through the doorway next. Numa took Toa from Tatparo and smiled at Gemynd then she looked over her shoulder at Soman. “Come here, Soman, I have something to tell the both of you.”
Gemynd couldn’t keep his eyes off of Toa and his mouth appeared to be fixed in a smile. “Seeing you holding your daughter is just as beautiful a thing as I’d imagined.”
“Toa is your daughter, too, Gemynd, as well as yours, Soman. Somehow the three of us create her together.” Numa could offer no better explanation than that. She would have to trust that both men could accept the truth and set any jealousies they might have aside.
Gemynd looked at Soman, the smile never leaving his face. “As it should be,” he said.
Toa squealed with glee and reached her hand out to Gemynd, touching him on his cheek. Gemynd gasped and put his own hand over hers. “She can touch me!”
Numa was not surprised. She believed with all her heart that Toa was the embodiment of Oneness in Todor, which meant she was not only Empyrean, Zobanite, and Iturtian, but also essence and Skalja and every other thing, known and unknown, in the land.
Numa looked at Soman who also wore a permanent smile. Tears fell from his eyes as he lightly brushed Toa’s cheek with his thumb. “My brother, if you can hear me, I want you to know that I am honored to share in this creation with you,” he said, looking to where Toa reached.
Numa’s heart swelled with emotion. “Come to the battlements with me,” she said, setting Toa down to stand next to Tatparo. “I cannot wait a moment more.”
As they stepped out onto the wallwalk and looked over the battlements, Numa couldn’t help but notice how much smaller the crowd below was now compared to the last time the three of them had stood together at the top of the keep. But she was not troubled by the idea. Numa knew that all was exactly as it should be. She knew that Todor would be repopulated, and this time, without separateness.
Numa looked down at her people and smiled. “As queen of Todor, I will let no one go hungry, nor live in servitude. I hereby officially abolish the laws of separateness. From now on, we will celebrate our differences and honor each other’s strengths, knowing that we are all better together. The new Todor is a land of Truth, but Truth as each of you sees it. The Keepers of this new realm will keep and disseminate wisdom; never again secrets or lies. You are all safe here. From this moment forward, Todor will live in Joy!”
Every man, woman and child in the square below cheered with excitement.
“You did it,” Soman said, squeezing Numa’s hand.
Numa looked at Gemynd, the tears in her eyes blurring his outline. He leaned over and pressed his face against hers in what should have been a deep kiss. Though neither could actually feel it, Numa had enough memories of his kisses to make the moment real.
Numa faced the crowd one more time. “Let us feast!”
Music and dancing started in the city square immediately and Numa laughed as she watched her people fully enjoy themselves. The sight was so beautiful to behold that she was unable to look away for hours.
Long after the sun went down, Keeper Sam approached holding hands with Toa. “The hour is late for a Keeper and child,” he said. “I would be happy to watch over your daughter tonight if you wish to join the festivities, Queen Numa.”
“Thank you, Sam.” Numa crouched down and gave Toa a tight hug and a kiss. “I love you, my child. I will see you in the morning.”
Soman and Gemynd said goodnight to Toa as well and then the three looked down at the crowd below once again. The people were truly happy.
As Numa watched, she picked Tatparo out of the crowd. She had seen him in battle, she had seen him in moments of strategy and planning, and mostly she had seen him caring for her daughter. But this was the first time she’d seen him in revelry. Numa grinned as she watched him dance, his body moving up close to another. She realized that woman he danced with was Zobanite.
“There may be many babies created tonight,” Soman commented, noticing what Numa had seen.
“I hope so,” Numa replied.
The three continued to watch silently until Numa felt awkward doing so. She felt that she should either join the people below or leave them to their privacy. But how could she join in any sort of sensual act when she could not touch her beloved?
“I would be happy to let Gemynd integrate with me,” Soman said, staring straight ahead. “It might be a sort of way you could touch one another again.”
“Integrate?” Gemynd asked.
“Archigadh strengthened his will by allowing Tatparo to enter his mind,” Numa explained to him. “And we saw Iturtians and Zobanites integrating in Skalja. I’m not sure of the specifics, but it seemed to work for some.”
Gemynd leaned his head to one side. “You would be willing to allow me to enter your mind, brother?” he asked, forgetting that Soman couldn’t hear him. “After everything that has passed between us, you made your feelings quite clear about me ever using your body again. And I would not ask that of you.”
Numa was surprised by Soman’s offer as well, and she wasn’t sure what to think of it. “Gemynd knows your feelings on letting him enter your mind.”
“Archigadh told me it was like having two minds occupying one space, and they worked together. I have no more fear of being controlled by Gemynd, or anyone else. It would be my choice and I would welcome him in,” Soman said then turned to face Numa. “I want to do this.”
Numa smiled nervously then looked at Gemynd. “What do you think, my love?”
“I think that I am willing to try anything that might allow me to touch you again.”
“Then let us go to Turiya. I want to share that place with both of you.”
Numa created a special new place in Turiya to take them. The ground was covered with the red sands of Iturtia and on it she placed a luxurious, Zobanite bed. Surrounding the area was a lush hillside completely covered in fairytooth blooms. The entire scene was topped off with a sunset-filled sky. Streaks of red, gold, and orange blazed across a field of deep blue.
“This is beautiful,” Soman said, looking around.
Numa wrung her hands and stood several feet away from the bed. She felt stiff and completely unsure of how to proceed.
“How does this work?” Gemynd asked, eyeing Soman. “How exactly do I integrate with you?”
Soman smiled. “Brother, I can see you now! You’re blue!”
“So I’ve been told.” Gemynd studied his own hands.
“To answer your question, though, from what I saw, those who were only essence just sort of went inside the bodies of the living.”
Gemynd wrinkled his brow and Soman scrunched his nose. “Very well,” Gemynd said, walking towards Soman. “Let’s give it a try.”
Soman gasped and shivered as Gemynd disappeared into his body. He still looked mostly like Soman, but Numa could see that Gemynd was in there too. There were moments when his blue eyes turned black and a shadow of a scar formed on his cheek. “I have never felt so strong and alive,” Soman exclaimed, and Numa realized it was Gemynd speaking through him.
Numa giggled as Soman flexed and admired his own arm muscles.
“I want to try something,” he said and held his hand out. A cup of water from the bedside table flew across the room into his waiting hand. Soman gasped at the same time the Gemynd within him said, “My glinting powers work in this body!”
Numa sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her knees up as she watched Soman and Gemynd become accustomed to their integration. She laughed each time it appeared he was having a conversation with himself, but her heart was filled with mixed emotions. Although every now and again she could see shadows of Gemynd within Soman, it was Soman’s body that was there. It was Soman’s body she would touch.
Numa studied Soman’s body now. Even through his Zobanite garment, she could tell it was a thing of perfect beauty. Large and chiseled and every bit as masculine as she was feminine. She had always been aware of Soman’s beauty, but had never allowed herself to desire it. She had belonged to another and could not cross that line. Would she be able to cross it now?
“My love, you are lost in thought,” Gemynd’s words came from Soman’s mouth, startling Numa.
“I am wondering if this is a mistake,” she said. “There is so much love among the three of us. Will a night together cause a rift that cannot be healed?”
Soman walked towards Numa and pulled her to her feet. He ran his fingers across the features of her face then pushed her hair back. As he gazed into her eyes, Numa saw both Soman and Gemynd within them. “Your concern is mostly for my feelings,” Gemynd said and smiled. “I can hear Soman’s thoughts and you are about to give him the greatest gift of his life. There is no risk to his feelings at all.”
Numa giggled nervously. “There could be moments when it will be like watching me with another man, my love. I don’t want to do anything to hurt you.”
Gemynd smiled again through Soman. “I have been given the chance to touch you again,” he said. “I promise there is nothing about it that can hurt me. I feel only Joy.”
Unity: The Todor Trilogy, Book Three Page 25
