by Mia Archer
It was driving me nuts. I was busy writing, but I also kept myself logged into the game on the off chance that she’d show up. I kept myself logged into the chat client for the game on my phone so that if she showed up while I was in class or at my job I’d be able to catch her.
And still days went by with absolutely nothing. Like I said, I was starting to go crazy.
Her absence was so pronounced that I started to wonder if there was something I’d done wrong. I was starting to wonder if she’d read through my story, realized that she absolutely hated what I did, and decided it would be easier to just never log onto that character again rather than disappoint me. It was amazing the lengths my mind went to coming up with a worst-case scenario, and yet I couldn’t help it.
So I was very surprised on Friday when I was sitting at my job, though I wouldn’t really call working as a receptionist for the history department much of a job at all since it mostly involved sitting at a desk that nobody came to unless one of the profs was trying to get into their physical mail.
Even that didn’t happen very often, which I thought was odd considering this was the history department and most of the profs who worked here looked old enough that they probably didn’t have the greatest grasp of technology or email. Not that I was going to knock it. The dean of the department was nice enough to let me do my own thing on the computer if we weren’t that busy, which was most of the time.
And so I was doing my own thing and working on my book when I saw an icon pop up in the bottom right-hand corner. My breath caught as I saw it. It was the Elassa chat icon. I’d installed the chat client on this computer ages ago and nobody had ever said anything about it even when the dean walked by and saw me chatting. So I figured it was okay. I never asked outright, but whatever. Easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission and all that.
I felt a thrill and apprehension as I saw that icon blinking. Every time that icon popped up in game, on a computer, or on my phone it set my heart to racing. Of course that racing heart was inevitably followed by disappointment when it turned out to be Megan or another one of my in-game friends and not her.
And so it was with a mixture of anticipation and resignation that I clicked on the icon and brought up the chat window. My breath caught and boy did my pulse really start racing in a major way.
“Hi.”
One word. One single word. And yet it was so weighted with significance because of the name it was attached to. Why was she only sending me one word? Where had she been? Why wasn’t she saying more? Did that mean she didn’t like what she read? Why was I such a pessimistic mess?
Deep breath. Get control of yourself Amber. Don’t overanalyze!
“Hi yourself.”
“Sorry I’ve been away,” she said. “I’ve been ridiculously busy at work. We’re getting ready for a big event here.”
“What kind of a big event?”
“Nothing special,” she said. “But it’s the biggest event we throw at my job, so it takes up a lot of my time. Haven’t had much time for anything other than work.”
My spirits fell. If she hadn’t had much time for anything other than work that meant she also hadn’t had much time for anything like reading.
“I understand,” I said. “You get busy at work sometimes!”
Of course it’s not like I really understood. I was self-aware enough to realize that I’d gotten a pretty cushy gig with my current job. I knew this was probably something I’d look back on with fondness when I was eventually forced into the real world. When I was eventually forced to get a job outside the university where they expected results.
“I did have a chance to read your story though,” she said.
Damn! If just the sight of her screen name showing up was enough to set my pulse racing, well her telling me that she’d read through my work was enough to make me feel lightheaded. It was enough to twist my stomach up into knots.
I imagined this gorgeous creature sitting back in a chair with a tablet in between doing stuff for her job, whatever that was, and thinking about me the entire time. It also sent a warm feeling coursing through me knowing she’d been thinking about me even if it was sort of indirectly as she read through my story. Knowing I’d been on her mind even if she hadn’t been able to hop on and talk to me all that much was nice.
“That’s cool,” I said. I was not going to fish for a reaction. Let her say what she was going to say.
“It was fucking amazing! I’m seriously blown away, and I don’t say that lightly,” she said.
“Really?”
“You’re just full of surprises Maia,” she said. “Brains, beauty, and talent. You really are the whole package. You’ve even inspired me to really get to writing again!”
I blushed. And glanced around the room to make sure nobody else was looking. Now that probably looked suspicious, the receptionist sitting at her computer typing away furtively, leaning close to the monitor, and then glancing around to make sure nobody was actually looking to see what I was doing.
If that didn’t get the dean interested in what I was doing on my work computer then I figured nothing would, but glancing in his office he wasn’t there anyways so whatever. There weren’t even any students or professors milling around in the hall outside.
I turned back to the chat window.
“You mean that?”
“Of course I mean that,” she said. “Why would I lie about something like that?”
“I don’t know what it is about you, but I feel like a giddy schoolgirl every time I talk you!” I said. I don't know why I said that. Here she was online and talking to me for the first time in days and I said something stupid that was bound to scare her away, flirtation aside.
And I was astonished I’d feel like that even as I said it. There was just something about this girl that short-circuited my brain. There was something about this girl that made me say the most ridiculously inappropriate things. There was something about this girl that made me type things that I was sure would lead to her getting scared and running away for good.
“I’m kind of glad to hear you say that, because I’ve been feeling the same way,” she said. “I’ve been so busy with work, but all I could think about was how much I wanted to sneak away and log into the game so I could talk with you!”
I didn’t think it was possible for me to blush any more than I already was, but somehow my cheeks found a reserve of bright red to color them. I was so entranced with the chat client that I jumped when somebody cleared their throat. I looked up and saw an undergrad staring down at me and looking over to the screen. I blushed even more furiously, wondering if he'd seen what I was talking about. I quickly minimized the window and put on my best smile, though it was difficult with the way I was turning bright red.
“Can I help you?” I asked.
“Um, I need the form for dropping a class…”
“You need to go down to the registrar’s office,” I said. “We don’t do that sort of thing in this office.”
The guy muttered something under his breath. I caught a bit about how it was bullshit that we didn’t have his form but did have time for Elassa chat and I blushed as I realized he knew exactly what I was doing even if he didn’t know exactly what I was talking about. That was bad enough. Only as soon as he was out of the room I immediately brought that window back up. It was blinking furiously.
“Still there? Was it something I said?”
“Sorry,” I said. “I’m using the chat client at work and I needed to help someone.”
“That’s fine,” she said. “Will you be on tonight? I made sure to clear a hole in my schedule.”
I blinked. What kind of work was she doing that she had to clear a hole in her schedule to play a video game at night? What kind of work was she doing that she was getting ready for the busiest event of the year with whatever the hell it was she did and yet she could just clear a hole in her schedule like that? This girl was definitely a mystery in more ways than one. A mystery that
I fully intended to solve.
“I should be on later,” I said. “Why?”
“Well I want to take you out on a date,” she said. “Only I’m not sure if it qualifies as a date if we’re doing it in a videogame…”
My face broke into a huge grin and I felt butterflies dancing in my stomach even as it twisted into nervous knots at the thought of actually going out with a woman. A date! Sure it was in a videogame, but when you were separated geographically I suppose it was the best I could hope for. It was also crossing a line. If we went on a date, two women going out on a date even if it was in-game, then I was admitting something to myself that was a major change. Did I want to do that?
It really wasn't a question of whether or not I wanted to do that though. I had no choice. These feelings were insane, but they were also so damn strong. I couldn't deny how I was feeling, and I wanted nothing more than to enjoy a digital date with this woman.
Besides, it’s not like meeting someone online was too different from getting to know someone in person. It wasn’t all that weird these days. Sure, meeting someone online in the middle of a videogame and then going on a date with them in that videogame was probably a little weird even by modern standards, but whatever. Fuck anybody who judged me for that. And fuck anybody who judged me for going on a date with a girl. I was going to do this.
“Sounds like a plan,” I said.
“What time should I pick you up?”
“I get off work at 4:30 today. I should be online shortly after that, so whenever.”
“Sounds like a plan. Look forward to seeing you then!”
And then she was gone.
I was so giddy that I tapped my feet against the floor and let out a triumphant shriek. And then I quickly schooled myself to seriousness as an older professor stuck her head in, looked around the office for a moment, settled on me with a raised eyebrow and then a smile, then disappeared.
I blushed again, it seemed like that was going to become a common thing if I was going to be spending much time around this girl, but I didn’t care. A date! Sure a date in-game, sure a date with a woman which I was still a little unsure about despite all my bluster, but I’d take it. Pretty much all of my social life was taking place inside that game these days anyways, so why should my love life be any different? And why should I care if that love life was igniting again with a woman rather than a man?
If my in-game love life was bringing me a girl as incredible as this then I was all for it. I just hoped she really was what she said she was. That this wasn’t just some scam. That she wasn’t just playing me for her amusement.
Sometimes I really hated that the worst-case-scenario centers in my brain were so overactive.
7: Digital Date Night
A blinking light showed in the top right corner of my heads-up display. I felt butterflies running through my stomach. I felt my breath start to quicken. Hell, I felt my nipples start to harden and I even felt a tingle between my legs. A hell of a reaction to a chat notification.
And it might not even be her. I had that reaction every time I got a chat notification. That’s how powerful her hold on me was.
I glanced over my shoulder to where Megan sat bathed in the glowing light of her massive monitor engrossed in a raid or something. It looked like she was just clicking her mouse over and over, but I knew from the way she was staring at her screen with intense concentration, the way she was listening intently to whatever voice chat was happening over her ridiculously expensive gaming headphones, that the entire world, myself included, was shut out. She wouldn’t be paying attention to anything going on over on my screen.
Good. I still didn’t want her to know about this girl. That I was actually falling for a girl. In a video game. Not yet. Both because I didn’t want to deal with the inevitable barrage of questions and because I didn’t want to hear her not-so-expert opinion on the state of my love life, which was usually pretty dismal.
I turned back. I clicked that blinking icon, a thrill running through me as I did so, and it popped up with a message.
“Good evening my lady elf,” she said. “Ready for that date?”
Those butterflies in my stomach were fluttering around on overdrive. To the point that I thought I might actually get sick from how nervous I was. I’d been doing this for years and yet this girl was the only person who’d ever managed to get this sort of reaction out of me. I forced myself to control my breathing. Maybe it was a date, but it was also a role-playing session. I needed to get in the zone and I definitely wasn’t going to get there if I was acting like a silly girl with a crush even if that's exactly what I was!
“Mother fucker!”
Megan’s shout pulled me away from the chat window which I quickly minimized since that phrase coupled with the sound of her expensive headset being thrown against the wall usually meant she was back in the real world.
I looked over my shoulder. Megan looked over at me but there was a frown on her face. Obviously the raid hadn’t gone well, though at least she hadn’t launched her mouse across the room along with the headset this time.
“I take it the raid didn’t go well?”
“No, not really,” she groused. “We’re stuck on a boss because this idiot healer keeps fucking up and he’s trying to blame me for it! I can’t take this shit. I need to go get drunk. Wanna hit the bars?”
I blinked. This was definitely a development I hadn’t anticipated. It was an unfortunate development considering that I had date night planned with Kaira and it didn’t seem like she’d be available any time soon if I passed up on tonight. Damn it.
“I actually think I’m going to stay in tonight,” I said. “I’ve got a scene I’ve been working on for awhile and the person I’m doing it with is only available tonight.”
Megan grinned and I winced at my choice of words. Perhaps “doing it with” somebody wasn’t the best way to phrase that. Damn it.
“Oh really? Is this special person a dude?” Megan asked.
“No,” I said.
So maybe that wasn't entirely honest from a certain point of view. I knew exactly what she was asking when she asked if it was a dude. She was asking if this was a role-playing session with someone I had a romantic inclination towards. The answer to that question was a definite yes, but that wasn't the question she asked. She just asked if it was with a guy and I'd answered truthfully even if it wasn't quite the truth considering what she was really asking. I wasn’t going to reveal anything else unless she dragged it from me though. Not yet.
Megan walked over to stare at my screen and I quickly flicked it off. She crossed her arms and looked down at me with a huge grin splitting her face. A grin that made me blush as much as I would if I was talking with Kaira. I knew I was giving myself away, but what could I do?
“Keep your secrets for now Amber,” she said. “I’m going to go get drunk. Maybe head down to the bar if you get done with your new boyfriend.”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I said. Now I was playing the pronoun game. Still, she hadn't used the right pronoun so I definitely wasn't giving that away. Using the right pronoun would cause it all to come out and that would ruin date night as I tried to pry Megan away from my monitor as she attempted to to learn more about this girl I was suddenly so into.
“So it is a guy!”
I rolled my eyes. Let her think what she was going to think. Let her think she was being crafty.
“Go have your drink Megan,” I said.
She took her sweet time getting ready. I waited until I heard the front door slam shut before I moved back to my own machine and clicked on the blinking chat icon. It felt like it’d been an eternity, I wondered if she’d even still be there, but when I looked at the screen I was surprised to see that only about five minutes had passed.
“I’m ready now,” I said.
“Glad to hear it. I was starting to wonder where you’d disappeared to my lady elf.”
I glanced over towards the front door one last time and th
en put my hands on the keyboard. I closed my eyes, opened them, and I was in the world of Elassa.
I stood at the entrance to the Pirate Caves of Aktor. This was one of my favorite dungeons in the game, even if it was one of the earlier dungeons that only new players tended to go to. New players and higher level players who were looking for a convenient spot for a quick role-playing session. Megan always laughed when she saw me exploring the place. She always acted like it was ridiculous that somebody with a character my level would bother with the place, but I loved it.
I rounded the corner towards the dungeon entrance and moved inside. My breath caught as the screen loaded up a private instance of a dungeon where no one but a game moderator could bother us, and it's not like they were going to be poking around one of these dungeon instances without being called down anyways. We were already in a party together and she was waiting for me in there. As soon as I stepped through, as soon as that loading bar finished, she was there. Looking me over with a very intense stare.
Or, rather, looking over my character. But it might as well be the same thing. It caused the same reaction sitting in the real world in my computer chair as it would have if I’d suddenly rounded a corner and saw a beautiful woman with striking green eyes staring at me in the real world.
This was ridiculous. I’d only seen that one picture of her before and I was drooling over just the thought of that delicious body. Assuming she actually was who she said she was, and I wasn’t just getting catfished.
I needed to stop that. I needed to just enjoy myself. More than anything I needed to avoid getting pulled out of the game like that!
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, put my fingers down on my keyboard, and when I opened them I was my character. I was Maia the high priestess of the Elven Order. I was a gorgeous high elf priestess going to meet a human adventurer in a forbidden rendezvous in a less than savory part of the world.
