“And will you do the same?” she whispered back.
“Yes.”
He leaned in, his face a few inches from hers. She stared into his smoke-colored eyes.
“I would have helped you get ready for bed. I could have helped you brush your teeth and wash your face. That’s kind of my job as a daddy.”
A daddy. Not her daddy.
A jab of hurt crushed her and she reminded herself that this night didn’t mean anything. She had to guard herself against getting hurt. Just because he said all the right things didn’t mean he would enjoy the reality.
“I don’t. . .I’m not ready for that.”
Was that a flash of disappointment in his eyes?
“See, I told you I wasn’t going to be any good at this. I don’t even know how to bring out that part of me. I don’t know how to relax and let go. I don’t know how to do anything.” Frustration filled her.
He placed a finger over her lips, surprising her into silence then he removed his finger and replaced it with his mouth. His lips were soft against hers. Not probing. The kiss was sweet and over far too soon. And yet when he pulled back, her head felt like it was spinning, her body tingling.
“Everything will be all right, little one. Sometimes, Littles need coaxing to come out. They need to know they’re in a safe place with someone who will take care of them. It doesn’t make you a failure for not being able to release that side of yourself.”
Shit. How could he read her so easily?
“It’s not always like flipping a switch. Sometimes you can do things, like let Daddy give you a bath to relax.”
“I don’t. . .I’m not. . .” She’d told him she wasn’t ready to be naked in front of him.
“It’s okay, I know you’re not there. Yet. There are other things we can do, don’t worry. I’m just giving you some examples. Other times, it can be putting on different clothes. Taking off your adult clothes, and putting on some little girl ones. What’s your favorite animal?”
“Um, wombats.” She couldn’t follow the change in topics.
“Wombats? Really?”
“Yeah, Macca showed me some pictures of them. They’re really cute. He said if he ever goes back to Australia, he’ll bring me a toy one.”
Did she just say that? Did she want a toy wombat? She hadn’t been interested in soft toys since. . .since the accident. She’d grown up that day in more ways than one. She couldn’t even remember playing much since that day.
“Did he just?” Zeke rumbled with a frown. What was the matter with him?
“What’s wrong with that? You don’t like wombats?” She scowled up at him.
He tucked her hair behind her ear. “I like wombats, baby. I’m not sure I’ll find you any clothes with wombats on them, though. I was kind of hoping you’d say a cat or dog.” He winked at her.
“Oh.” She found herself blushing for some reason.
He moved to the side then pulled her chair forward through the doorway. He reached down and plucked her out of the chair.
“Hey! You could ask a girl first before you go around picking her up.”
“Then you might say no.”
“But I might say yes,” she countered.
“You would have said yes?”
“Well. . .no,” she said, remembering his no lying rule.
“Then I was right not to ask.”
She sighed. “You’re exasperating.”
He shrugged. “I like getting my own way. Not going to apologize for that.”
“Would you just pick me up like that if I wasn’t in a wheelchair?” It was important for her to know.
He stared down at her for a beat. Then his eyebrows came together. “I’m gonna treat you differently than any Little I’ve been with before.”
Her breath caught and she stiffened in his arms as he sat on the couch in her room. She had a small living area set up with a huge comfy couch in front of a fireplace she rarely used and a TV which was attached to the wall above the mantelpiece.
“Because you’re more important to me than any others Littles I’ve played with. Like I told you, all my experience has been with subs that I had no attachment to. I didn’t see them beyond our play together.”
“Oh.” Warmth filled her.
“So yeah, I’ll treat you differently because of that. And there will be some circumstances where I’ll deal with things differently, because I want you safe at all times. But picking you up like that? Nope, that’s something I would have done if you were in a wheelchair or not. I like carrying you around. It makes me feel close to you, like we’re connected. But if it’s something that makes you feel awkward, if you’d rather I ask you first. . .”
She shook her head. “No, I mean, for tonight it’s . . .it’s fine.” Damn, was that a lame statement or what? Truth was, she’d have fought back if she hadn’t wanted him to touch her. Under normal circumstances.
But these weren’t normal circumstances. At all.
Still, she thought she owed him more truth than that pathetic attempt. Be brave. She took a deep breath. “Truth is, I enjoy it too.”
He brushed his lips over her forehead. “I like having you close to me, baby girl. Daddy likes carrying you in his arms. You’re his little girl and little girls need their daddy to take command sometimes. When they get tired, or when they feel insecure, they need daddy’s arms around them, don’t they?”
“Yes,” she whispered, shocked to hear the slightly breathy note in her voice.
He stared down into her eyes as he held her sideways on his lap. “Ah, there she is.”
There who was? Before she could figure that out, he wrapped his arms around her securely and a happy sigh left her. That felt so good. She felt surrounded by him.
“There’s Daddy’s little girl,” he murmured to her. “She’s such a good little girl. But she’s shy, isn’t she? Maybe scared? She doesn’t need to be, though. Because Daddy is here and if Daddy is here then nothing will hurt her. Daddy will keep her safe, always. He’ll protect her body. And her feelings. And her heart.”
She could feel that very heart beating heavily in her chest.
Thump. Th-thump. Thump.
“A daddy wraps his little princess up in his protection. He makes certain she has all she needs. A place where she can be herself without fear. That she’s warm and fed and healthy and safe. Even if sometimes that means Daddy has to enforce his rules to ensure all of those things.”
A small shiver raced up her spine.
“Have you ever thought about what that might feel like? Being disciplined by Daddy? Because little girls can’t always be good, can they?”
She was rarely good.
“Will you get angry? If I’m naughty?” Because it was bound to happen.
He studied her seriously. “Does that scare you?”
She blinked. Did it scare her? Zeke was a big guy, but so were her brothers. Just because he was large didn’t mean he would harm her. But she knew her brothers better than Zeke. Clint was all bluster. Blunt and growly with a soft inner core. Kent was more patient, lenient but he could be strict when he needed to.
She and Zeke had butted heads plenty. She’d seen his temper. Sometimes she saw shadows in his eyes. She didn’t know what they represented, but she didn’t believe he was the type to lose control. He was the sort of guy who thrived on being in charge.
“I’m not scared of you.”
“Daddy,” he told her.
“Wh-what?”
“Call me Daddy, princess.”
“I’m not scared of you, D-daddy.”
“I have a temper,” he admitted. “However, I have it firmly under control. And I’d never, ever harm you. Sometimes I might get angry if you put your safety at risk. However, I’d never touch you when I’m mad. Any and all discipline would wait until I’d calmed down. I never want to scare you, baby girl.”
“You don’t. D-daddy.”
Warmth filled his face. And it was worth the feeling of weirdness.
<
br /> “How about we stop talking about me? This night is about you.”
It was? She blushed slightly. She didn’t know what to do with all his attention on her.
“It’s getting late and Daddy’s little girl needs to go to bed.”
She pouted. “Don’t wanna.” Holy shit! Where had that come from? Her voice. . .she sounded so childlike.
He tapped her nose. “No arguing with Daddy, little missy. Daddy decides when you go to bed.”
“That’s not fair. I’m a big girl.” She didn’t feel very adult right then, though.
“No, you’re not. You’re my very precious baby girl. And I need to take good care of you.”
Oh God, if only she was his precious baby girl. That pang of longing for more than just tonight caught hold of her so she didn’t hear the next part of what he said.
“. . .hairbrush?” He looked down at her expectantly.
Shoot.
“Um, what?”
He ran a finger down the side of her face and a flush went through her body. Seemed her Little liked being touched by him as much as her adult side.
“Were you not listening to me?”
“S-sorry, Daddy.” She gave him a smile. “I was away with the fairies. Do you know that fairies live in the garden?”
“I did know that,” he said solemnly.
“There’s good fairies and bad fairies,” she babbled, feeling nervous and worried. “When you hurt yourself, that’s the bad fairies.”
Where had that come from? A memory flashed to her. She’d been racing through the house and had slipped, crashing hard onto her knees. Her mom had picked her up, pulling her onto her lap.
Those bad fairies, she’d told six-year old Eden before kissing away all the pain.
“Princess? You all right? You’re not worried about the bad fairies, are you?”
She shook her head, smiling up at him. “No, sorry, Daddy. What did you say?”
“I asked where your hairbrush was. Do you usually brush your hair at night?”
She nodded her head. “It’s over on my dresser.”
He kissed her forehead and set her down on the couch before getting up and walking over to the dresser. Her bedroom wasn’t overly feminine. It was done in shades of gray, cream and pale green. But still, he looked very out of place. Or maybe it was just that she wasn’t used to anyone being in here except her. This was her haven from the rest of the world. Where she hid when she wasn’t ready to face reality.
He grabbed the wooden brush as well as a couple of hair ties, placing them over his hand so they sat around his wrists. Then he walked back to her. She expected him to hand the brush to her. Instead he moved so he was sitting on the back of the couch with her nestled between his legs, his bare feet resting on the couch cushions on either side of her butt.
“Zeke? What are you doing?”
“What do you call me?”
“Sorry. Daddy, what are you doing?”
“I’m going to brush out your hair. Figured it might be a bit uncomfortable for you to sit on the floor, so I thought I’d do it from up here.”
That was so thoughtful. He started to brush her hair. She half-expected him to tug at it. But he was surprisingly gentle. Unravelling each tangle. Her hair was a nightmare. It was so fine but there was a lot of it and it got in knots easily. He took his time, not getting impatient, just sweeping the brush through her hair.
Neither of them spoke but it was an easy silence.
She swayed slightly, surprised by the wave of tiredness that overtook her. She yawned.
“My baby girl is getting tired. Rest your head against my thigh while I braid it for you.”
“You know how to braid hair, Daddy?”
“Indeed, I do, little one. Daddy knows how to take care of his girl.”
Again, there was a pang of longing. The one that said she’d give anything to be his girl. Permanently.
This is just one night.
She admitted this wasn’t exactly what she’d expected him to do. To have him brush her hair until she was lulled into a sleepy state then part her hair into two braids.
He moved away from her after he’d finished, putting the hair brush back. Then he surprised her by returning and kneeling in front of her, running his hands up and down her thighs. Did he know she could feel that? Did he know the way his touch sent sharp pangs of need through her body?
Most people made assumptions when they looked at her. However, her incomplete spinal injury meant feeling in her legs often changed. She could still move her hips, had bladder and bowel control and could even move short distances using crutches.
He reached for her hands and rubbed his thumbs around her palms and she sighed as he massaged them gently. That felt so good.
“Is there anything else my girl needs before bedtime? A snack? Some water?”
“I usually, um, keep a water bottle by my bed.” She nodded over at the half-empty bottle on her bedside table.
He stood and took it into the bathroom to fill it. He set it back in place and came back to her, once again kneeling before her. She liked that he didn’t loom over her.
She yawned. She was so sleepy. A headache throbbed in her temple, telling her she desperately needed sleep. Having him brush her hair, speak to her in that low, calm voice of his was hypnotic and she felt herself being pulled under his spell.
“Little one, let’s get you into bed. You’re so tired.”
She nodded, wincing slightly.
“What’s wrong?”
She should have known he wouldn’t miss that. Damn man barely missed a thing.
“Nothing.”
His gaze narrowed. “What did I tell you about lies? There are no lies between a daddy and his little one.”
Crap. Why did she even say that? She guessed she was so used to deflecting when people asked how she was it just became second nature.
“Sorry, Daddy.” She nibbled on her lower lip nervously. Was he truly upset with her?
“Hey, look at me.” He gently grasped hold of her chin, raising her face so he could stare into her eyes. “I’m not mad. But I don’t know how to take care of you properly if I don’t know what’s wrong. There are a lot of things I don’t know about you. Things that will take time to uncover. So, I need you to talk to me, all right?”
“All right. It’s, um, just hard for me sometimes.” Christ, that was more sharing than she usually did. There was just something about the look in his eyes that made her want to unburden everything to him.
You can’t do that. He won’t want to be around you anymore.
Panic beat in her chest. One night. Just one night.
It wasn’t enough, though. Even she knew that. Her Little had made some brief appearances, but it felt like she was still mostly trapped.
“I know, baby girl. But I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Tell Daddy what’s wrong, so I can fix it.”
She licked her dry lips.
“I don’t need you to fix all my problems. I’m a big girl.” She gave him a challenging look.
To her surprise, he nodded looking solemn. “I know you don’t need someone to take over all the time, Eden. But I do think you show a lot of recklessness. Your lack of self-preservation alarms me. But I like to fix things. If someone I care about has a problem, it’s difficult for me not to step in and solve it.” He spoke slowly, as though measuring his words. “With you, it’s even harder.”
“Why? Because you see me as weak?” Lots of people did.
“Weak?” He sputtered out a laugh. “Baby, the last thing I see when I look at you is someone weak. You’re strong, independent, fiery. I admire all of that about you. But you’re also rash. That’s when I want to step in. Show you what it’s like to have someone care about you who can also give you boundaries so you don’t crash and burn.”
Whoa. Did he really just say that?
She let out a small laugh, trying to deflect the seriousness in his voice. “This got serious fast.”
&nb
sp; She expected him to snap at her. This is what they did. He did something intense or bossy or territorial, she deflected, and then they snapped and snarled at each other until one of them walked away.
But he just watched her carefully. And oh, that was so much worse. Because she couldn’t tell what he could see. She thought she had a pretty good poker face, but everything that had happened tonight had knocked her for six.
“This isn’t exactly how I thought tonight would go,” he said suddenly.
The change surprised her.
“What did you expect?” she whispered even though she wasn’t sure she wanted to know.
“I was going to coax out your Little, instead I seem to be pushing her further away.” He blew out a breath. “I’m gonna try not to be too bossy, okay? However, when I’m in Daddy mode, I do like to be in charge.”
She blinked. “You expect me to just do whatever you say?”
“Of course not. You can be a brat at the best of times. I expect your Little is no different.”
That was where he could well be wrong. She wasn’t a brat or if she was, it was because she was trying her best to keep people at a distance. But she wasn’t sure her Little could do that. And that was part of the reason she’d always kept her hidden.
Her Little was the softest part of her. She had to guard against getting hurt.
“But I still expect honesty. And lies between us will result in instant punishment.”
“You’re gonna punish me?” She should be horrified, right? Her heart shouldn’t be beating so fast, the idea of being taken over his knee shouldn’t feel so forbidden yet erotic.
“Urgh, I feel so messed up.”
“Hey.” He frowned as he tapped her nose. “I don’t like when you say bad things about my girl.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to point out that she wasn’t his girl. That this was one night. But the way he spoke, it felt like so much more.
You can’t give into the dream, Eden. Because other than tonight, that’s all he’ll ever be. A dream. No, a memory.
“It’s just a headache,” she blurted out. She nearly winced as disappointment flashed across his face. He knew she was deflecting. Trying to end the deep conversation before she found herself drowning in ‘what ifs’.
Daring Daddy (Montana Daddies Book 5) Page 3
