by Hunter Blain
A beam of fission-formed plasma rocketed out at relativistic speed, crashing into the bubble surrounding the Hummer. The protective spell glowed brightly before reaching its threshold and shattering like glass. The two magic-wielding demons shrieked in agony as they crumbled into smoldering embers. Sons of bitches had redirected my attack unto themselves to protect Lolth—which wasn’t at all concerning. Nope. Not even a little bit…FUCK. Demons were protecting the Shadow Court now? Neat. Super neat.
Bubble broken, I cocked my thumb again and smiled at Lolth, whose eyes went wide in recognition.
“Bang,” I said as the last of the fission bomb was sucked into my right hand. The beam hit air as Lolth shrank into the shadows. Locke screamed as he was being dragged into the darkness, prompting Depweg to leap at Lolth now that the protective spell was broken. There was a moment of hope as the large werewolf soared toward the shadow bitch’s back before being erased as he passed right through her. As he did, Lolth grabbed the scruff of his neck and continued her descent into the shadows.
I blurred forward at speeds that were impossible—even for me—as I brought my flaming gladius out to swipe at Lolth’s arms. Locke and Depweg toppled to the ground as the hands holding them evaporated into mist. Lolth’s shrill cry pierced the night before it became muffled behind the veil between planes. Then she was gone, leaving the three of us to warily look at the ground at our feet. Locke had rolled away from where the Shadow goddess had disappeared and clambered to hit feet in an offensive stance, his hands glowing purple and green with runes floating in the air. Depweg lifted a leg to accentuate his feelings of what he thought of the shadow coward.
Once Locke realized the danger was over, he turned to face me, letting his hands grow dim, and said in disbelief, “How did you do that? She-she grabbed my arms and made me drop the attack. There’s no way you could have survived.”
Looking down at my hands, I said, “I don’t know, man. This angel armor didn’t exactly come with an instruction manual. But neat, huh?”
“Yeah, that’s one way to put it,” Locke said slowly, almost wary of me, as if my hands were now a nuclear weapon.
I turned and took stock of the damage around us. Any remaining demons had been liquefied in the blast, while the Shadow Fae had either evaporated or fled. I wondered if the drow had the same abilities to shadow walk as their incorporeal brethren; though I was sure of the answer.
White smoke from the burning grass rushed to mix with the brownish smoke from the trees that were ablaze, the resulting clouds blotting out the stars as they drifted with the cool breeze.
There was a crater in the ground spanning the entire width of the four lanes and then some. The concrete barrier running down the center of the four lanes abruptly stopped before continuing eighty or ninety feet away. Scorch marks marred the remaining gray concrete median for as far as the eye could see in either direction, while melted asphalt began slowly oozing into the spherical depression where the ball had initially struck.
“Oh…sh-shit,” I stammered, beginning to realize the full scope of what the fuck had just happened. A quarter of a mile down the road, there was another fire raging. I was confused for a moment until I remembered that the second fission shot had missed Lolth entirely and had had to hit something eventually. I let out a long whistle as I gawked at the raging flames down the road. It looked like a bus made of fire had slammed into the tree line and hadn’t stopped for as far as I could see.
“Did…did you draw an entire fission bomb into you? And then used the energy as a weapon?” Locke asked in complete and utter disbelief.
“I, ah, think…so?” I answered in my own world of doubt. My eyes followed the still glowing gold edges of my armor, which seemed to pulse with power.
“And how many times,” Depweg struggled to get out as he finished transforming back into his man-suit, “are you going to say ‘oh shit’?”
Ignoring his question, I walked over to the passenger door to inspect Ludvig. He was paler than before and his breathing had gone shallow.
I placed my hand on his chest and was about to will some of my energy into him when Locke came up beside me, grabbed my wrist, and gently pulled it away.
“Don’t,” Locke said. “You don’t know this power yet, and you might do more harm than good. Our best shot is to get him to the doc.”
I lowered my hand and looked back and forth between the dying paladin and Locke before relenting to his point. I needed to practice what this armor could do, and not on someone on the brink of death.
My brain signaled something was missing from this equation. “Where’s Magni?” I asked in alarm.
“He-here,” Magni said from between the front and back seats. He had curled into a ball on the floorboard. There was a look of shame as he pulled himself up onto the seat.
“Hey, you did the right thing, kid,” I said reassuringly. “Great job with the minigun, by the way. You kicked some major ass!” With that, his face lit up before he tried to hide it by turning to look out his window.
As Depweg replaced the clothing he had had the presence of mind to toss into the Hummer before transforming, I climbed back into the turret, checking the remaining ammunition. A frown etched itself on my face when I saw it was almost depleted. Locke climbed into the seat behind Ludvig while Depweg scooped up his wolf teeth from the ground. He walked around to the driver’s side, slid in, and dropped his were-teeth into the cup holder.
“When did you start doing that?” I asked, crouching to peer into the cabin from the turret.
“It’s a habit I should have developed decades ago. It’d never been a problem…until now.”
“What hadn’t?” Locke asked.
“It’s not a coincidence that these fuckers keep finding us,” Depweg said with anger in his voice. “I-I think they used my fangs to track us. They probably have several left to cast tracking spells, but I don’t want to give them any more ammo.”
Nodding my head, I said, “Makes sense. But not to worry. They now know who they are fucking with.” As I finished, I held my gauntleted hands out in front of me and began squeezing them into fists before relaxing again in a show of power.
“Now they will increase their efforts,” Depweg said coldly. “With each counter we complete successfully, they double down on their attacks. This time, they brought demons who aren’t affected by light. What will Oberon and Lolth have with them next time?”
The words he spoke created seeds of doubt that planted in my mind as my worry watered them into blooming flowers of anxiety. I was going to have to nip them in the bud.
“We will handle whatever they throw at us, brother. Now, let’s get Ludvig to the clinic before we lose another ally,” I said, leaving no room for debate and forcing myself to overcome my growing emotions.
Depweg threw the Hummer into reverse and did a three-point turn to take us back toward our destination. Luckily, the military-style vehicle was more than capable of traversing the destroyed battlefield. I stood on the turret with the gun facing forward, fully expecting to see another army waiting for us; but there was none. The wind dragged smoke across the road, forcing me to squint with the sheer volume of it in the air. The warm smoke was in direct contrast to the cool air.
Once clear of the danger, I lowered the turret and closed the hatch on the roof so as not to arouse mortal suspicion and concern. I could see the phone call now: “Yes, police? There is a military assault vehicle with a long scary gun sticking out of the top with a dashingly handsome man behind it. He looks like that main guy from that one movie, 300, but with better abs.” I chuckled to myself while Depweg took the turnoff to the clinic. My armor wavered and disappeared, allowing me to sit more comfortably in the confined space.
Within three minutes of driving, we passed a speeding police cruiser with its lights flashing and siren blaring. Another minute and two more blurred by, along with a firetruck. Then there was a whole cavalcade of varying vehicles rushing by with flashing lights.
“Wonder what they’re looking for,” I said.
Depweg’s eyes shot to the rearview mirror as Magni and Locke slowly turned to look at me.
“Dude, either my sarcasm is on another level or you guys are just idiots.”
Depweg’s eyes returned to the road as Magni turned forward again in his seat, leaving just Locke to stare at me while his head bobbed with the movement of the Hummer.
“How are you okay after what just happened?” he asked.
“No choice but to be okay,” I answered with complete honesty. “I worry about the things that I can control and say fuck it to the things that I can’t.”
“I don’t know how true that is, but I can appreciate the message,” Locke said, turning to face forward again. I could sense the rattled nerves emanating from everyone in the vehicle.
Within a few more minutes, we arrived at the clinic, and all of us piled out. I cradled Ludvig under his knees and upper back—just as Depweg had done—as we made our way to the door. Locke tried the handle, and when the door refused to budge, pressed the doorbell and we waited. Magni stood off to the side, away from the group. I took it he was still embarrassed about hiding during the battle, though not a one of us would blame a kid for trying to survive.
Ten seconds into waiting, I asked Locke, “So, are there any new Avengers movies?”
“Hmm? Oh, I wouldn’t know. Movies were more of yours and Da’s…thing.” As he mentioned his name, the realization that he was gone became that much more solid and real.
Feeling the pain in the air, Locke quickly added, “But there’s been, like, six more seasons of Stranger Things on Hu-flix.”
“The fuck is Hu-flix?” I asked. I hated Hulu. You paid a monthly fee and they STILL HAD COMMERCIALS. Made it really hard to enjoy Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
“Hulu and Netflix merged once Disney started its own streaming service and took all its programming off other company’s platforms.”
“Ah, makes sense,” I said, still not happy about the situation. “They must have been desperate if they merged their names. I thought for sure Netflix was powerful enough to swallow the other guys whole.”
“Well, they were before Disney,” Locke said as he pressed the doorbell again. “They had all the biggest brands to play with: Marvel, Star Wars, Pixar, and of course, the classic Disney content.”
Depweg came up next to us, opting to only carry his holstered sidearm into the clinic, leaving everything else in the Hummer.
“Hey, what ever happened with The Little Mermaid being black? Last I remember, people weren’t happy about that,” I asked.
“It made money but wasn’t critically successful. Even fans lambasted the movie, but not because she was a different race. She wasn’t a bright redhead like the hugely popular animated movie, and fans knew it was all a PC move. Don’t get me wrong, I saw the movie and the actress did a great job, but it didn’t feel right,” Depweg said nonchalantly.
“Bah haha! You saw The Little Mermaid?” I shot at the massively muscled, military-minded Depweg.
“Saw it with Da,” Depweg said flatly without looking at me. He was looking through the door to see a light come on in the back. My smile was wiped off my face in an instant—as if taken off with a shotgun blast—as he mentioned Da. Numb, I looked forward as a disheveled Doc Jim came into view. He was rubbing his eyes as he approached the door.
A quick glance at us and I could see him visibly sigh before unlocking and then opening the door. We entered and wordlessly followed him to the familiar operating room.
“Set him there,” Doc said as he went to pull an instrument table to the side of the gurney where I was placing the eerily pale Ludvig on.
“He needs blood,” I informed Doc Jim.
“Yes, yes, I can see that,” Doc said as he approached a large, double-door freezer. “Don’t suppose you know his blood type?”
We looked at Magni, who shook his head.
“O-negative it is, then,” Doc said, pulling out a bag before closing the doors and walking to hang it on the IV stand next to Ludvig. He stuck the IV into the normally huge veins on Ludvig’s hands that blood loss had shrunken down. That wasn’t even a minor inconvenience for the vet who could run a PICC line on a kitten, though. A quick motion, and the line was delivering precious blood to the nearly dead Swede. Doc checked his other vitals.
“No head trauma. There doesn’t seem to be bleeding in his abdominal cavity. It’ll take some time, but I think he will be fine,” Doc said as he went to a locked cabinet that required his fingerprint to open. He pulled out a glowing yellow compound and extracted a few milliliters of fluid with a syringe. Then he replaced the vial, closed the cabinet that locked once the door was in place, and walked to Lude’s IV line. Sticking the needle in, he delivered the compound, which mixed with the crimson in the line to create an orange liquid.
The doctor removed one of the bandages with a quick tearing sound as the tape protested, and inspected the wound. It began to ooze again, and I was about to ask him what the hell he was doing when the blood flow stopped and the wound began to close in on itself. Doc Jim repeated the process on the other bandages until he was happy that all the wounds were closed.
“You have something for everything, don’t ya?”
“Always be prepared,” he answered absently as he worked, spouting the Boy Scout motto.
“Hello, Jonathan,” the voice of the Archangel Gabriel came from behind me.
“It’s just John,” I responded with dramatic annoyance as I leaned my head back and slowly turned on stomping feet to regard our new guest.
“I know. It’s just entertaining to see your reaction,” Gabriel informed me before turning to Depweg. “Hello, Jonathan,” he said with full sincerity.
“Hello, Gabriel,” Depweg responded respectfully.
“So confusing,” Locke complained, shaking his head and crossing his arms.
“Locke,” the angel said, giving Locke a slight nod of the head. Locke responded by lifting one hand in a half-assed gesture and rolling his eyes. I supposed it made sense that a warlock who got his power from Hell itself might not enjoy the company of an angel.
“You two know each other or somethen?” I asked, pointing a finger and drifting it between Gabriel and Locke.
“We’ve met,” Gabriel said with a wry smile, deflecting my question. “John, I’m here to give you a warning.”
“A warning? The hell did I do now?” I asked, crossing my arms to unwittingly mirror Locke.
“Not like that,” Gabriel said, backtracking his words. “I meant, to provide you with pertinent information regarding the end of all life on Earth.”
“Oh, ’cause that’s better,” I complained melodramatically. “Go ahead, then.”
“The Earth, and all life on it, will be snuffed out in twenty-four hours unless you can close the black hole.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” Depweg interjected, stepping forward to join the conversation. “It’ll take weeks for plant life to die. Then the animals, and finally man. The whole process should take, at the very least, months. Where is this twenty-four-hour number coming from?”
“The black hole was created perfectly halfway between the Earth and the sun,” Gabriel began.
“Forty-six million miles away,” I added excitedly. “Not sure why I remembered that off the top of my head.”
“Correct. Very good, John,” the angel said. I put my sarcasm Geiger counter to full power and the results came back inconclusive on if I had just been burned or not. Damn crafty angel. “The Earth is hurdling toward the black hole, which, in turn, is rushing to meet us.”
“The Earth travels at, what, sixty thousand miles an hour through space?” Depweg asked.
“Sixty-seven thousand,” I corrected. Where the heck was this random information coming from? Normally I had to dig through the city in my mind to locate obscure information.
Both Gabriel and Depweg looked at me then. I could even see the doc lifting up his head from where he was ten
ding Ludvig to stare at me.
“Curiouser and curiouser,” Gabriel mused. Then he began alternating his gaze between Depweg and myself as he said, “Considering the speed of the Earth and the self-powered black hole rocketing toward the planet, we have precisely twenty-four hours before…well, you can guess.”
“This doesn’t make sense,” I said. “Why would Oberon try to destroy the Earth when all he has to do is create a black hole that travels at the same speed as us. The world would be perpetually coated in darkness, and his Shadow assholes could roam freely.”
“Management has concurred that Samael has a hand in the events that are unfolding.”
“What makes you think that?” Depweg asked, stroking his chin.
“The black hole is traveling at sixty-seven thousand miles an hour toward Earth,” Gabriel informed us as he clasped his hands behind his back. Damn, I was jealous of his nice suit.
“That’s more than coincidence,” Locke chimed in.
“Precisely our thoughts,” Gabriel said, glancing toward Locke. “We think that Oberon, powerful as he may be on his plane, couldn’t possibly have the knowledge or energy required to create a black hole on his own.”
“You’re saying that Satan helped Oberon create the anomaly and then, what, gave him the wrong formula so the thing would fly toward Earth instead of with it?” Depweg asked, dropping his hands to his sides and scrunching his face in concern.
“It would certainly appear that is the case,” Gabriel said. “In so doing, Samael knows Father will have to step in, breaking the covenant.”
Doc Jim stepped forward and asked, “Forgive me, sir, but I’ve always wondered: why would God need to make a pact with the Devil to not interfere with mortal affairs?”
“Especially when Satan is clearly breaking the rules by gambling with everyone’s life on Earth,” I added.
It was Depweg’s turn. “You’re saying that God won’t stop the black hole because if he does, Satan will win a wager?”
“I’m willing to bet that if Earth is destroyed, then the fucking Devil will also have a laugh that he knew God’s pride would keep him from saving us,” Locke threw out just above a whisper as he looked at the angel’s feet.
