by Jane Anthony
I knee her legs apart and settle between them. Sitting up on my haunches, I bring the bulbous end to her inner thigh and work my way up. She sucks in a sharp breath, her lids lowering over her sparkling green eyes.
“Show me how you like it.”
She slides her hand over mine, guiding the wand to her covered pussy. Her back arches, a tiny whimper falling from her lips. “I want you with it.” Her husky voice is almost a plea.
Gyrating against it, she slips her free hand under her T-shirt. The sight is hotter than I even imagined. Her fingers pluck at her nipple, the other one pebbling beneath the fabric. “Fill me, fuck me, make me come on your cock, Jesse. Please.”
How do I say no to that?
“Don’t fuckin’ come yet,” I demand, making quick work of undressing myself before working on getting her naked next.
She stops pleasuring herself long enough to let me yank off her pants and underwear. Arousal drips from her luscious center. The sound of her begging is far too sweet, but this isn’t the time for that. I need to be inside her.
Falling forward on my palm, I line up with her entrance and take what’s mine. Her body bows, a whisper of love slipping off her lips as I claim them with my own. I don’t take drugs, and I barely drink. Wren is my addiction of choice. It doesn’t matter how many times I have her, I’ll always want more.
I push back up on my knees. Strawberry hair fans across the dusty purple pillowcase, her perfect tits peeking under her pulled up tee. She’s a chaotic mess, but she’s all mine, and knowing it now makes my adrenaline soar.
With a fiendish grunt, I drive into her tight little pussy like a man possessed. That’s what I am. A hungry beast bewitched by a little Bird who stole my heart and chirps my name.
Grabbing the wand, I slide it in the small space between our bodies. A hiss slips through her teeth. Her back vaults off the mattress, her head digging into the pillow. It vibrates up the base of my cock, my balls tightening almost immediately.
I slow my roll because watching her unravel is too hot to rush. She rides us both, her pelvis rocking against the vibration while her inner walls pulse around me.
My brain is in shambles. Part of me holds a certain amount of envy at the power this little battery-operated device holds over my girl’s climax. The other part of me doesn’t give a fuck. That’s the part I’m focusing on, and I’m not done watching her writhe.
Wren teeters along the precipice of her release, but I’m far too greedy to let her fall. I yank the vibrator away, then I wrap my arms around her and flip us over, holding her hips with an unyielding grasp.
“What are you doing?” she pants, her palms finding purchase on my chest.
“This thing”—I hold up the pink wand—“is not your boyfriend. I am, and if you’re going to come, it’s going to be with me.” A savage mix of anger and lust sparks in her eyes. “I want to watch what you do when I’m not between these legs. I want to watch as you bounce on top of my cock and use that little pink friend to come all over me. And I want to see the pleasure radiating from your face, Bird.”
I hand her the device and grab her hips again, thrusting gently until the time is right. I don’t want to come too soon, and I certainly don’t want to come without her.
A rose flush blossoms on her skin. She bites her lip, and she presses the buttons on the toy. The previous vibrations are nothing compared to the buzzing it’s creating now, and the head of the wand moves like a serpent in circular motions.
“You’ve been holding out on me, Bird.” I grin wickedly, causing her to blush an even deeper shade of pink. “Go ahead. Show me how you do it when you’re alone.”
My words have the power to undo her as the hesitation leaves her eyes. She drags the toy across one covered nipple and then the other. With each pass, her pussy tightens around me, and it takes all the self-control I possess not to thrust up into her hard, claiming her.
But instead of giving in to both of our basic, primal urges, she taunts me some more. She places the wand on my belly. The vibration tickles, but I can’t take my eyes off Wren as she whips off her shirt, exposing her perfect, perky tits. I drink them in, lost in the spell she’s put on me.
When she picks up the tool again and runs it over her exposed nipples, I almost lose it. My fingers dig into her skin, my hips moving of their own accord.
“Show me, Wren, show me,” I growl at her, and she doesn’t disappoint.
She lightly passes the pink toy between her breasts, then down her belly to the spot where our bodies are joined. As soon as it touches her tiny nub, she squeezes on my cock, and I lose what little control I have left.
No words pass between us now. Only quivering moans tumbling from her lips as she lifts slightly, letting me see the way my cock pounds her sweet pussy. One hand braced on my chest, the other furiously rubs the buzzing contraption on her clit, causing her walls to clench tight. A curtain of red tendrils spills over her face. I swipe it behind her, furiously waiting for the moment she splinters and cracks. When her eyes roll back, I know it’s soon.
I snatch the wand and throw it on the bed next to her knees.
“You’ll come by my touch only, Bird. Mine,” I grunt, as she leans back on her knees and lets me piston into her, over and over again until I can feel my balls tightening with the approaching explosion.
Using one hand to keep her steady, I reach between us and rub her swollen clit. I may not be a battery-operated boyfriend, but my fingers will bring her to an orgasm she’s never known. As I rub feverishly, her desperate pants become keening cries. Her lids jam shut, her teeth biting hard on her bottom lip
A sudden feeling of need washes over me. The need to feel her skin against mine as she rides me to completion. I sit up and bring her body flush with mine. Her tits crushing into my chest as she picks up where I left off, riding me hard.
I lean down and suck her nipple into my mouth. She tastes like sunshine and sweat, and my brain goes into overdrive. This is where I should have been for the last however many years. This is where I always should have been. Stuck between these creamy legs as her whimpers and whines crest over my ear.
“Harder . . . I’m so close,” she pants, and I rub with fervent speed. I want us both to fall over the invisible cliff of pleasure together.
I grunt as my cock swells and throbs, spurting my cum deep into her accepting cunt. A cry ratchets from her throat, her own pleasure washing over the both of us. She grips my shoulders to keep her balance, but I won’t let her fall. I hold her against me as her body sags, whispering against her skin.
Seconds turn into minutes, and neither of us wants to let go. Still wedged deep inside her, our combined pleasure runs out of her and onto me. I put my head to her chest and listen to her beating heart. It’s erratic, just like everything else in our lives, but it’s strong and deafening, and it’s all mine.
“Jesse,” she whispers, kissing the top of my head.
“Yeah, Bird?” I answer
“I’m breaking up with BOB, once and for all,” she whispers seductively.
“Good.” I laugh. “I could use the batteries for the remote.”
CHAPTER 24
Wren
MUZAK VERSIONS of adult hits play overhead as I sit in the waiting room at Associates for Women. A clipboard balanced precariously on my knee, I jot down the answers to question after question, but every so often, my ear catches the tune and spills out the lyrics without warning.
Women in all stages of pregnancy sit around me; their protruding bellies taking up the majority of their laps. My fingers subconsciously move to my flat stomach. In a few months, this will be me. Waddling around on skinny legs, my top-heavy body ready to keel over. I wonder if they still feel sick like I do. I wonder if they saw their life flashing before their eyes the second that insidious pink line reared its ugly head.
A few husbands sit by their wives making small talk. The empty seat beside me is a taunting presence. I’m alone in this. Sure, I have Jesse for now, bu
t what’s going to happen when things get too real? The second he realizes what he got himself into, he’ll be on the first train back to Cooperstown in the blink of an eye.
I finish the questionnaire and bring it back to the desk, then turn around and find my seat again. I need to stop feeding the doubt growing inside me like mold, stop letting this nagging feeling eat away at me until I want to just tell him to go and get it over with. Jesse loves me now, but does he love me enough to really go through with this? I guess we’ll find out.
The hinges creak as the door opens, and a nurse pokes her head out. “Kathleen?”
A woman on the other end of the waiting room smiles and catapults herself out of the chair. She and the nurse exchange pleasantries as the door swiftly closes behind them with a click. I look at my watch. It’s almost my turn.
It’s not too late to make this go away.
Another hateful statement my brain keeps making, but it’s nothing but a dirty trick. The thought weighs heavy on my heart. I struggled through the options, weighing out each pro and con, attempting to envision our lives year after year. Five years, ten. I don’t begrudge a woman’s right to choose. It’s not my business to judge—her body, her choice—but this one is mine. One I never thought I’d have to make, but I did, and as terrified as I am, I’m choosing it. Alone or not.
The hinges squeak a second time. A different nurse steps into the waiting room. “Wren?”
This is it. I push to my feet and twist on the low-pile carpet as the door opens behind me. “Oh great, I made it in time!”
Jesse’s deep baritone makes the hair on my arms prickle to life. I turn at the sound, my heart racing when I see him standing there. Dust and spackle litter his jeans, and his boots are covered in dirt. “I thought you had to work?” I ask, looking on as if I’m imagining him.
“I worked through lunch. Tom let me go.” He steps toward me, his fingers catching under my chin, and a chaste kiss lands on my lips. “I couldn’t miss this, Bird.”
Emotions rattle inside me. I must have been a saint in my past life to deserve this man. It’s the only explanation for the way he stares at me with a faultless grin, his eyes full of hope and love.
“You coming?” the nurse urges.
With his hand in mine, the walk to the exam room doesn’t seem so difficult. No one knows what the future holds, but he’s here now, and this is where I need to live—where we still have our whole lives ahead of us.
The nurse moves about the room, opening cabinets and setting up the station. After a urine sample, a blood pressure check, and a thousand other questions, I find myself alone with Jesse waiting for the doctor. A cotton robe drapes around me like a sheet. I sit on the table, the paper crinkling under my ass as I get comfortable.
“We need to get a set of these for home.” Jesse rests a hand inside each stirrup and lets them fall open, propelling his body forward. “We could have a lot of fun.”
“No, thanks,” I joke, waving him away. “There’s nothing in the world less sexy than a pair of stirrups.”
“I don’t know about that.” He rights his stance and steps to the edge of the table. His fingers fumble under the hanging fabric of my robe and slip underneath, pushing my knees apart wide enough to fit between. “I like the idea of you strapped down . . .” His fingers catch under my knee and drop my heel into the padded metal. “Spread open . . .” Next foot gets swiftly secured. “Under my control . . .” Hot breath fans across my cheek, sweet and tangy with the faint fragrance of sugary citrus. He slides his hands under the thin fabric, his fingers digging into my bare ass as he pulls me closer to the edge.
I stand corrected.
Warmth pools down below, but embarrassment flames my cheeks. When Dr. Sims comes to give me an exam, she’ll find me slick with desire and think I’m one of those weirdos who enjoys this. “You’re evil,” I whisper.
He waggles his brows. “How much time do you think we have until she comes in? I can give you an exam of my own.” He waves two suggestive fingers in the air.
“Not enough,” I reply with a nervous giggle, pushing him back. The last thing I need right now is to be caught in this precarious position. My feet in stirrups and my filthy boyfriend pushing his denim-covered crotch against me.
He chuckles and falls into the corner as I pull my legs down just in time for a light tap on the door. The pretty young blonde pokes her head in. “Hey, Wren!” she greets as she enters. “I was surprised to see you on the schedule.”
“Not nearly as surprised I was, believe me.”
“So this was an unplanned pregnancy?” I nod my response. “Okay. Well, no birth control is one hundred percent effective. If you miss a day taking it or don’t take it at or about the same time daily, it lowers the success rate of preventing pregnancy.”
“Meant to be, I guess,” I say, my gaze drifting to Jesse.
Dr. Sims smiles. “I assume you’re the boyfriend?” she asks, offering Jesse her hand. “Danica Sims. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Jesse. Nice to meet you, too,” he replies.
Turning her attention back to me, she glances at the stack of papers on her clipboard. “Not sure of your last period,” she mumbles. “That’s okay. We can do a quick ultrasound to determine gestational age.”
“I can see it today?”
“Depending on how far along you are.”
Flutters fill my stomach. My fingers twist in the cheap cotton robe as the doctor wheels over a small machine. Jesse comes around as she sets it up and prepares the wand. His hand finds mine with a supportive squeeze. Gray blobs fill the tiny screen. Dr. Sims taps on the keys, then turns the monitor to face me. “There it is,” she says, pointing at a small flicker right in the center.
“See that? That’s your baby.”
Everything hits me all at once. She goes on pointing out the various sections of my reproductive system, but I can’t take my eyes off the flickering dot, the living proof of the life inside me. A wave of tears breaches my lash line—fear, hope, excitement, love—every emotion rolling through me like waves of the tide, crashing hard, then receding fast, only to happen again and again, but the dam can’t hold them back when the fast-paced thumping echoes out.
“Is that . . .?” The lump in my throat is too large to talk around. My fingers twine with Jesse’s, my other hand springing to my mouth as the sound of my baby’s heartbeat fills my ears.
“Strong.” The doctor nods. “I’d say you measure about ten weeks, which will bring your due date at . . .” She clicks her tongue on the roof of her mouth as she searches the calendar. “Around June second.”
“Can you tell if it’s a girl or a boy?” Jesse asks. I furrow my brows and throw him a look. “What? I gotta know if I need to buy baseballs or a rifle!” he jokes, and I laugh.
“You’re gonna teach our son baseball? Poor kid will never get picked for the team,” I quip, but the joke falls flat as it reaches my ears. Our son. Jesse’s and mine.
Only . . . it’s not.
Someday, our kid is going to wonder why his eyes are brown, and ours aren’t. Why his hair’s dark instead of light. Why he’s just a little bit different.
His entire life will be a lie.
“Not for another ten weeks,” Dr. Sims replies, pushing the machine back to its spot in the corner.
The rest of the appointment moves quickly. I walk from the office with a prenatal prescription in my pocket, a sonogram in my hand, and a heart that feels too full to beat.
“I guess we should go tell your parents next, huh?” Jesse asks as we weave through the parking lot to find my car.
Dread leaks down my spine. My parents are cool to a point, but my dad is going to lose his shit when he finds out his unmarried daughter is pregnant. When he finds out Jesse’s involved? Coronary. My father hated “that Dylan kid” on sight. Something about the way he looked, the way he talked, the way he breathed . . .
Thank God for my mom, the voice of reason. She holds the compassion lost on my
dad. I guess I can’t really blame him, though. He only wants what’s best for me. If only he would let me decide what that is on my own.
Telling them is inevitable, but I’d like to live in blissful harmony just a little longer. “Do we have to?”
He chuckles. “Eventually, they’re gonna figure it out when we come home with a baby.”
I stop short, taking his bicep in my hand. “It’s not too late to change your mind, you know. I’d understand.”
“Change my mind?” His head flinches back slightly.
“About raising the baby with me.”
“Bird,” he says, resting his palms on either side of my neck. “I’m never changing my mind. All in, just like I said.” He searches my face for a sign of something, I’m not sure what, but his warm gaze burns my skin in a way I’ve never felt before.
How can he love me this much?
How can he still regard me with such reverence, knowing what’s inside me isn’t his?
I don’t deserve his love.
I don’t deserve him, period.
“Are you still with me?”
“Yes,” I whisper, but as the word leaves my mouth, I know it’s untrue. Jesse owns my heart, but the life inside me belongs to someone else. I can’t continue to perpetuate this lie. I thought I could. Jesse and me and baby makes three. The long-awaited happy ending we both need, but it’s a fantasy. Our child—my child—deserves to know the truth about where he came from. And his father deserves to know that he exists.
CHAPTER 25
Jesse
A FRUSTRATED GRUMBLE echoes down the hall, the wall shaking with the force of the loud bang that follows. “Bird?” I call, meandering down the hall to our room. “You all right in there?”
“I have nothing to wear!” she wails and plops down on the edge of the bed in a huff. She touches her growing belly and rotates her middle finger in slow, deliberate circles. A protective movement she’s picked up over the last few weeks. “I should just call my folks and tell them I’m sick.”
