You terrify me
I feel as if you can read me like a book that is closed tightly, and that terrifies me.
As if you will be that one person who will sneak in without being seen, and that terrifies me.
When you look at me it feels like you are seeing right through me reading the pages that are inside my soul, and that terrifies me.
It’s like you are able to take apart the way I think and process it in ways nobody can, and that terrifies me.
I’m like a scattered puzzle that with every answer I give, you figure out what pieces connect together to help paint a clearer picture, and that terrifies me
But as much as it terrifies me it also intrigues me because I want to know what you can read, and what chapter you get to.
The river flows with such calmness and peace as if it has never known anything different. If you follow its path you will find that this once calm river turns ferocious with such power and strength tearing through the rocks in its path.
This river that would rip your feet off the ground if you dare enter its waters, but if you continue to follow its path at a safe distance you will see that this river turns back to its peaceful ways opening up to a site so breath taking and beautiful.
My life is that of this river. Starting out so peaceful, and then turning into something so ferocious that tore me from my core. Shattering every inch of who I was while staining my soul with such darkness.
Then I realized who I wanted to be and turned this darkness back to its peaceful ways as my healing, and mending of myself turned into such beauty.
Deep down her soul is both chaotic and peaceful.
Your hands glide across my skin bringing me into a warm embrace washing away the memories of my past.
As you lay your lips lightly on my skin as you kiss softly up my neck cleansing away the pain I feel within.
As your eyes lock onto mine with a love I have never known. We start to lean into each other like two magnets that can never be apart.
Our lips lock with a strong passion that I knew from that moment on I am all yours.
I need to release and unscrew this mind that is so wound tight that any minute it will explode.
Drawers being filled to the brim and filing cabinets so full that nothing new can fit in.
Trying to shove so much in that processing takes a minute.
Overworking my mind and sending it into overtime.
Trying to send papers to the shredder that is no longer in need and saving those that I will forever need.
Needing my medicine to cope with all this information flowing through this mind.
With this dim light and music playing this screw seems to unwind.
With every hit of this beat sending a wave of tranquility my mind finally feels at peace.
Sometimes master pieces are made from
broken pieces piled together like a puzzle piece.
Taking the pieces from the many different broken puzzles that lay within, gluing them together and
taping them down to create new pieces.
The pieces that have come from my anxiety, depression,
self-doubt, happiness, pain, and experience sure have created such a beautiful master piece.
To the future me,
So many years have passed and so many things to look forward to.
To the future me don’t stress because whatever you are going through will pass. You will become the person you were always meant to be. You will meet people who will leave and those who were destined to stay. You will grow from each and every day that goes by. You will move closer to your dreams and closer to the one you are meant to meet. Just learn from the mistakes you will make and be stronger every day. Don’t stress so much on what others think and stay true to yourself and your beliefs.
To the future me, I wish you nothing but the best and I can’t wait to meet you one day.
Fiction
& Quotes
Here are a collection of poems that have come to my mind from many different inspirations that I have come across. Now these poems are that of imagination and small quotes that I have written down.
Your beauty shines brighter than the moon itself.
Capturing me within this moment as I can hear my heart start pounding.
Falling faster and faster every minute my eyes are locked upon yours.
Feeling this warmth as it covers my body like a warm blanket on a winter night.
Knowing that this was the moment I finally knew what true love feels like.
Even in the darkest of your days. If you look within, you will find the light to lead your way.
Welcome to the City of the Lost.
Where you will find many who are lost in different ways.
Yes, I do see that this place is dark and cold, but what do you expect when you’re lost.
Some of us have been here for years, months, and some of us are brand new.
We go through this vast dark lonely place searching for our way back to our path.
If you are new to this place this search will be blinding and feel hopeless, but if you keep searching your eyes will adapt to the dark and you will slowly be able to see.
The search back to your light will be a journey with many cracks in the road that will try to trick you into staying in the City of the Lost.
So, beware of your steps and keep up your armor because, in the end, you will make it out of the City of the Lost.
When I say “I love you to the moon and back”, I meant it with everything in me.
When I say “I love you to the moon and back”, it means I love you for all your faults.
When I say “I love you to the moon and back”, it means I love you for all your mood swings.
When I say “I love you to the moon and back”, it means I love you for your independent ways.
When I say “I love you to the moon and back”, it means I love you on the days you don’t love yourself.
When I say “I love you to the moon and back”, it means I love you for the days you feel insecure.
When I say “I love you to the moon and back”, it means I love you for every good day to every bad day.
So, when I say “I love you to the moon and back”, I genuinely mean it with every beat of my heart.
Don’t let the judgment of others hold you down.
There is only one person who can judge you and he looks deep within your heart and soul. Even with what is shown he will love you regardless.
As time flies by and starts to fade will you be the one who rides time like a wave or will you take advantage of what time creates.
With every movement within the clock is a shot to take will you take that shot or will you watch it fade?
From every minute to the hour is a time of change. Will you make that change or stay the same.
In the end, it’s up to you to use time as you wish.
So I ask you this, will you stand by as time passes you by or will you use your limited time before it escapes?
Tick tock goes the clock said the grand master of time.
For you cannot stop until the clock reaches the top.
At the top, there is a spot you see for at this spot lies a way for you to see that of what the clock hides so deep.
The grand master of time wraps his arm around me as he says “Don’t you see the beauty that lies so deep from within this time, you can see everything that lies within your eyes”
I look down from this spot with such wonder and amazement of what hides so deep within this time being shown to me.
The beauty that this clock holds is that of true wonder as the colors fade between the ticks and the tocks of this clock.
We stay in this spot and watch as time ticks and tocks away turning day to night.
As time reaches the top we climb down from
this spot as I thank the grand master of time for the wonder he has shown me that this clock hides.
Forbidden Love
We lov
ed with a love that was irreplaceable even though our love was forbidden.
For we only saw each other and what our souls could be for no one could keep us apart.
For our love was stronger than that of the word itself.
For our souls have connected and intertwined that our love would never fail.
For you see she is my world and I would give up my life for our love.
I will fight till the end of time
to see our love be set free and to show my love for the world to see.
What you see is different from what I see.
For you see we capture this beauty differently.
For you capture this beauty in a different light. For as I capture it with a different sight.
The beauty that we see in which we hold with such wonder is that of a similar sight being held in a different light.
Life is a growing process that you
make from the mistakes you have made.
In a world full of chaos and hate
We strive to find those who are not afraid to blur the lines of different cultures, who see people for their personalities and not by the color of their skin.
Who join together to fight those who threaten to take our rights away like rebels taking on a king.
American Dreams
We start this life being taught about the American dream. Throughout the years this dream has been dying out and replaced with greed.
This right that was given since the beginning is no longer given to those who have a different culture, race, religion, sexual orientation, and skin color.
This right that is being taken away by greedy politicians who only want what’s best for themselves and not for everyone in this country.
We stand more divided by the system that has been put in place to protect us that has now turned against us.
We walk these streets in protest to show that we are united as one against this system.
We peacefully protest to write these wrongs that have been done upon our brothers and sisters.
We fight for a change in a system that only sees us by the color of our skin and not by who we really are as individuals.
We link arms with those of different races and cultures to show that your fight is not just yours but is ours.
We stand in the face of this system as we demand this change to happen to treat us as equals no matter the skin color or the title we hold.
We are all human beings no matter the culture or the color of our skin.
We are alike and we should fill this world with love and not with hate.
“To be or not to be”
What an excellent question. A question so deep with such few words that make you think.
A process where we as humans try to figure out who we are, but sadly for most of us, we leave that decision to those we surround ourselves with, to be forever molded by others until the day we break away.
These people who mold us could also be the closest to us, who affect our lives throughout our time on this earth.
To be successful or to not be successful
To be an athlete or to not be an athlete
To be the golden child or to not be the golden child
To be compliant or to not be compliant
To be ourselves or to not be ourselves
With so many questions on who we can or cannot be that is laid upon our shoulders weighing us down like an anchor attached to our feet as we sink into the words of how others want us to be.
I say we break free from that anchor that holds us down and become who we see deep down inside us.
Speak with love and not with hate.
Spread the light and not the darkness.
Live with peace and not with chaos.
Lead with courage and not with fear.
Most of all be yourself and not what others want you to be.
From the brightest days to the darkest nights.
As you awaken to see another day in a city full of life.
You face the mirror to see the inner demons that plague your life with a never-ending battle.
As you fight to keep them away from the inner light that is left within you.
When you head out to face the day you fear that your light will succumb to the darkness throughout the day.
As the battle wages on between your inner light and the demons that plague your mind till day falls to night.
As you lay down to rest for the night you smile knowing that your inner light has won the battle once again.
They say the eyes are the windows to your soul.
When you look into mine can you see the answers you are searching for or do you get lost in the deep storm of what my soul is?
Forever Forgotten
Forever forgotten as they locked me in this cage.
Forever forgotten from the minds of those I influenced.
Forever forgotten from the minds of those I once loved.
Forever forgotten by the society I once cared for.
They left me to be forever forgotten for they thought I was crazy for the ways that I think.
They prosecuted me because I frightened their reality as I tried to bring light to the unjust ways of our society.
They took me at night without making a sound, as if I just left within the night.
Nothing moved from its place as if my home was a museum collecting dust as I will be forever forgotten.
Freedom is not being trapped by everyday life.
Isn’t it strange how the mind works?
How we have these little wire highways that send these little balls of light to each section to each side.
That somehow reminds us to breathe, to think, to remember, to see, to feel pain, to feel our heartbeat.
How strange it can be that sometimes our minds hold back memories that could harm us mentally to help protect our sanity.
But it’s strange to me how some of us can destroy the one thing that helps us through the day.
How we neglect our minds from improving and learning by not simply reading a book or even playing a game that engages our minds.
Our brains are an instrument of knowledge that once you poison it, it dies slowly and starts to lose its knowledge.
If people saw me talking to myself would they think I’m psychotic and toss me away to an institution just to be thrown into a straitjacket into a padded room to be forgotten about as if I never existed.
But don’t they say the ones who talk with themselves are the most intelligent. Is that why I’m in this white room because they are frightened by my presence.
Is it because I see this world for what it is when they still see this allusion that they don’t want to be lifted.
As I sit in this white room as they try to destroy my resistance to convert me to see this allusion to blind me from what’s happening behind the curtain.
As I announce that they will never break my resistance or my ability to defy what they want me to become which is a mindless human being clueless and unaware of my surroundings, blending into the backgrounds they want to create for me.
Another puppet hanging lifeless from their strings.
As this man lies down to sleep he fears his dreams for you see he believes he is slowly being driven mad by what he sees.
For this dream comes back to him each night as he slumbers.
For this dream is that of a woman he sees but can never reach as all he hears are her distant screams.
For you see, she is a distant memory of man haunted by his past of a woman long forgotten by society.
For she was taken by a man that no one has seen for he walks in the shadows of the night like a reaper waiting for his next victim to fright.
This man turned his back in fear for what he might have seen if he turned to face the window that leads to see the reaper who hunts at night for women to steal.
For this night will forever be burned into his mind of the screams that will haunt him till the end of time.
As
the darkness of the night falls in this town and as the moon shines through his room as he sits on a chair in the comer hearing the distant screams of a woman crying out for help.
He pleads and begs for her to stop to take away the guilt that he feels, as he falls to his knees crying out for her to stop but you see she cannot rid him of his guilt for he is the keeper of that guilt for she is just that of a distant memory.
As I lay here in this grave that has been left without a name but just a number.
For myself, I am number 66 for there are others just like me
and many more that will meet the same end as I.
As I walk around the place that I took my last breathe I wonder if those who put me in this place every think about me or even if they visit me but how could they when I’m just number lost in a sea of graves.
For my life will be forgotten as time passes and the place that I took my last breath has met its demise by those who have called it immoral, unfair, and just plain evil for what the doctors have put us through.
For myself, I’m stuck here to roam around this place with others just like me who have lost their name as I have.
As I walk these halls and sea of graves I wonder if my name will ever be given back to me and if those who have forgotten me if maybe just one day they will wonder what has become of me, but until then I am lost to the sea of graves only known by my number 66.
As I sit in this dark room with the glow of this dim light I can feel them surrounding me as I feel their breath upon my skin as goosebumps arise.
The Raven & the Wolf Page 3
