Cannon takes his wife by the shoulders and turns for the door. “Clean yourself up. Don’t make me come back in here,” he calls over his shoulder. “‘Cause I’ll be coming in with Walker and his power hose and it won’t be pretty.”
50
Iris
I’m still not sure I’m in the right headspace to be making business decisions but when Cannon and Lexi called to reschedule our meeting, I knew I couldn’t turn them down again.
My heart is broken and bleeding out into my chest…Big fucking deal. Life goes on, right?
Today, I put on a satin blouse and slacks under my heavy fall coat. It seemed important to make an effort at looking professional. I want my friends to know I take this opportunity seriously.
We met at Cannon’s office like the first time but halfway through the meeting, we started discussing suppliers. That’s when Lexi suggested that we drive over to Walker’s farm. From what my friend says, the oldest Kingston brother has expanded his floral offerings since the last time I visited his farm. Now, in addition to the orchids he was growing a few weeks ago, he’s also moved on to roses and lavender among other things.
“It’s true that the current owners of the flower shop have their own suppliers,” Cannon says as he turns off Park Bridge Road onto his family’s property, “but if I can manage to wrangle a better deal out of my brother, then that would be hugely beneficial to your bottom line, Iris.”
He and Lexi chat excitedly about what a deal like that would mean for my potential business. I listen distractedly from the backseat as Cannon pilots the car past his parents’ guesthouse. The closer we get to the farm, the more I can feel my body curling in on itself. I’m racked by anxiety that we’ll run into members of Jude’s family…or Jude himself.
My intuition is telling me to retreat, to run away. My subconscious says that, lurking on the horizon, there’s something big enough to swallow me whole.
It’s been days since I’ve seen him, heard his voice. I’m going insane. My pride will no longer allow me to ask Lexi for updates about his condition. I’ve stopped trying to call him. Two days ago, I sucked in a breath, charged into his empty room and packed up all his shit. I momentarily considered tossing it all onto my grill and setting it ablaze. I called Cannon over to come pick it up instead.
Because as much as Jude’s rejection hurt me, I still love him. I still want him. I still spend every night facedown in his bed, clenching his pillow and huffing his scent as I cry.
I never got this low over Kirk. But for Jude, I’m scraping the bottom with no hope of recovery in sight.
By the time Cannon is pulling up outside of one of the greenhouses, my intuition is squalling for me to retreat. But my self-protection must be on holiday right now. Because when Cannon parks and rounds the car to help Lexi ease onto the bumpy path, I hold my tongue and follow after them.
Walker and his workers move briskly across the lawn, transporting small pots of flowers and other supplies from the bed of a pickup truck into the greenhouse.
I notice the look he and Cannon share before the farmer instructs his workers to take their afternoon break.
“Iris, there’s some details I need to iron out with Cannon and Alexia,” Walker tells me. “But you can head inside and have a look at the new selection of flowers.”
With nothing further, my friends head off toward Walker’s truck.
My stomach is a tight ball as I step into the greenhouse but the fresh, sweet scent of flowers immediately puts me at ease.
I wade through a sea of orange sun star flowers before turning down a path of vibrant red begonias. Lush ferns hang from plastic planters overhead. My heart feels a thousand pounds lighter just standing here.
My friends undersold this place. “Oh my god, it’s so beautiful,” I say as I look out at the dozens of varieties of plants surrounding me.
I hear the steady thud of a heavy body moving toward me. I turn around and find Jude standing at the end of the lane. Crutches, boyish grin, wearing a sexy-as-hell suit.
Blood zings through the power lines beneath my skin and my lifeless heart comes back alive with an anxious jolt.
Jude’s grin goes wider. “Not nearly as beautiful as you, Petal…”
51
Jude
Sunlight pours in through the greenhouse’s glass panes overhead. It spotlights Iris standing between fields of flowers in all her angelic glory.
When she sees me, her diamond blue eyes go wide. “Jude…”
“Hello, Petal.” With the aid of my crutches, I approach her gingerly, my heart beating fast enough that I might just lose my balance and fall flat on the ground.
She takes a quick, nervous glance over her shoulder toward the door. “What’s going on here?”
“This is my apology to you, Iris. You deserve an apology. I fucked up. Royally. And I am so, so sorry, Baby.” I abandon one crutch against a table and reach for her.
She moves a brisk step back, her expression guarded and hurt. “You haven’t answered my calls. I was so worried.”
“I know…” I brush her jaw with my thumb. “I’m sorry.”
“All I’ve wanted was to hear from you, Jude. It’s all I could think about. Wondering if you were okay. Wondering how I could help you, make you better.”
My head drops. “When the doctor told me that my knee was injured again, that my career was over, I was confused. And angry. Scared. Everything.”
“I know you were,” she spits out. “I know you were.” Her angry tears are already gathering like clouds before a rainstorm.
Shit, of course she knew. The woman knows me better than anyone. How could I let myself forget that?
“I wanted to be there for you, Jude.” She lightly slaps her tiny palm into the center of my chest. “The way you’ve been there for me. But you just shut me out. You walked away. You blamed me.” Her eyes are fiery. So is her voice.
And I know she’s coming hard at me now, but I’m proud of her for fighting back. I’m proud of her for sticking up for herself and not letting me get away with the shit I pulled. Because the old Iris—the shy Iris—wouldn’t have stood here to have this conversation. She would have run away and buried her hurt instead of showing it to me. But the new Iris is here, fighting with me. I can only hope she’ll fight for me, too.
I put my hand over hers, clenching her fingers to my chest. “My only excuse is I wasn’t seeing things clearly. I wasn’t thinking straight. After months of hard work and therapy, my dream was within reach…and then it was gone again. That’s all I could think about. To the exclusion of everything else.”
She drops her forehead to my chest and clenches my shirt with her fingers. Her tears bleed into the fabric. I hold her close, feel her, stroke her shaking back for a long moment.
“How have you been, Jude? Are you in pain? Have you been taking care of yourself? Have the meds been helping?” She looks up at me, her eyes full of concern as she rambles anxious questions. “I just can’t believe this happened. Can’t believe that monster did that to you. I just…”
“It’s been hell, Baby.” There’s no point in lying. “The past two weeks have been hell. I’ve been in pain, so confused, so angry, but the worst part was missing you.”
Her eyebrows dip as she stares at me. “You’ve missed me?” Her voice is hoarse.
“I’ve missed you like crazy, Iris.” These are words I’ve never said to any woman before. “Why does that surprise you? Don’t you know how I feel about you?”
She drops her head and shakes it. “Let’s just be honest with ourselves, Jude. Your career is over. Done. And it’s all my fault. For the rest of my life, I will carry that guilt with me.” She runs a shaky knuckle through her tears. “As much as I want to be with you, I understand if you can’t forgive me. If you can’t even bring yourself to look me in the eyes. Your dreams were ruined because of me. So where the hell do I even get off hoping for a chance with you after everything that’s happened?” Her breath quivers. “God, I�
�m so sorry, Jude. I’m so, so sorry.” Now, she’s in tears.
I lift her chin so our gazes connect. “Iris, I wouldn’t have even had a chance at recovery if it weren’t for you. I wouldn’t have had a hope of getting my career back if you didn’t step up by my side when you did, when no-one else believed in me. You realize that don’t you?”
Her chin trembles. She speaks quietly. “You lost your football career so now you have to settle for me…” The idea seems to make her endlessly sad.
My forehead furrows with anger, because she’s not understanding me. “I’m not settling for you, Iris. I’m actively choosing you.” I reach to cup her face. This time, she doesn’t push me away. “I choose you, Iris. I’d choose you over everything. Because before you let me into your world, my life was a string of cars and trophies and empty symbols of my success. But you shifted my priorities.” I need her to hear me when I say this, “You’re the first thing I think about when I open my eyes, and I love watching you fall asleep at night. I find myself more concerned about your happiness than my own, willing to make all kinds of sacrifices to keep a smile on your face. When you have a bad day, I want to be there to lift you up. On your good days, I want to share that joy and celebrate with you.” Her lips part and a shuddered sound escapes. “The good. The bad. The ugly. I want it all. With you.” I lean down, daring to brush my lips against hers. “So this is my goddamned declaration of love, Iris. I fucking love you…And I’m hoping you feel something for me.”
Iris pauses. “I thought I was falling for you. But I was wrong.” She hesitates. “I’m done falling. I am flat-on-my-face in love with you, Jude Kingston.”
I grab her beautiful cheeks with urgency. My erection kicks between us. “Baby, I love you.”
“I love you, too, Jude.”
I can’t hold back a second longer. I claim her lips. I taste them. I kiss them. I own them. And she wraps her arms around me like she owns me, too.
“I know a whole lot of nothing about serious relationships,” I tell her honestly. “But I know about you. I know that if I'm lying in a ditch and I can't move one more inch, I can trust you to drag me out of there and nurse me back to health. And if you stumble and fall, Baby, I will pick you up and throw you over my shoulder and tromp through a minefield with you in my arms. I'm not leaving you behind, Iris. I'm never leaving you behind again.”
Tears run down her cheeks. She kisses me like she can’t stop. “Oh, Jude.” Our lips meet passionately. “I want to spend my whole life loving you. Taking care of you. Being there for you.”
Hearing her say that makes me kiss her again. She kisses me like she wants to pour all of her soul inside of me.
Foreheads pressed together, we whisper apologies and love words into the air. I brush away her tears and she presses kisses to my jaw and I fall that much deeper in love with her.
She glances around at our lush floral surroundings. “This is all really romantic, Kingston. The flowers, the sexy suit.” I tighten my arms around her. She adjusts my lapels. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”
I look around, too. “You like it?” I rub the tip of my nose against hers.
Iris grins. “Yeah. I like it.”
My grin rivals hers. “Good…Because I bought the greenhouse.”
She blinks. “You did what now?”
“I just bought this greenhouse from Walker,” I tell her. “This little piece of farmland and the structure on it. Walker’s helping me get some guys to run the operations…I bought this greenhouse for us.”
Iris blinks again. She stutters, clearly at a loss for what to say.
I chuckle and kiss her forehead. “This is my investment in you. In your dream. If you’ll accept it. I still want all those things we dreamed about, Iris. I still want to be your partner. In business. In love. In life.” I take a breath. “We're building this life together and we're gonna stamp both of our names on it. This isn't just my dream. It isn’t just yours. It's ours.”
“I want that, Jude. So much.” Her eyes twinkle with sincerity.
Needing to make a confession, I pull in a breath. “I don’t know if I’ll make a good boyfriend, but I’m willing to learn. How to treat you, how to love you. Because I do love you, Iris. And I know that I broke your heart but if you open it for me again, just a little, Baby, I promise to spend the rest of my life holding all your broken pieces until they stick back together. And I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy, to make sure that someday soon, you agree to be my wife.”
She falters against me like she’s about to lose her knees. “I’ll have it. I want all of it. All of you.” She looks all the way into my soul. “You’re so strong, Jude. I don’t care what anyone says. There’s nothing you can’t do.” From that grin on her face, I know exactly what she’s saying.
The pit of my stomach tingles with hope. That impossible football-shaped dream of mine once again bobs its stubborn, stubborn head up to the surface. “Nothing?”
She gives me a squeeze. “Nothing…”
It’s on…
She’s crazy. And I’m crazy because I believe her.
I plant a kiss in her hair. “With you in my corner, I feel like I can do anything…”
You know how they say that everything happens for a reason? Well, I thought that the whole reason I got injured, came back to Crescent Harbor and ended up staying with Iris was to make a comeback on the football field and prove to all my haters that I’m stronger than they ever could have imagined.
But now, I’m tempted to believe something else entirely.
I believe that the whole sequence of events happened to guide me back to this gorgeous woman, so we could heal each other, mind, body and soul. All this time, I’ve needed her just as badly as she’s needed me. Everything else was a bonus. It just took me a whole long while to realize that.
Again, Iris glances at all the beautiful flowers blooming around us. “I would have been happy with just a regular bouquet, y’know.”
“But you’re not a regular girl,” I tell her. “Why settle for a bouquet when I want to give you the whole damn world?”
Epilogue
Iris
21 months later…
“Nothing looks right!” I groan, poking my head through the changing room curtains to where my friends are sitting patiently in the waiting area.
“Come on. Let’s see it,” Faith demands, wiggling her bum on the shoulder of Jessa’s armchair. “Remember, I’m a pro at this. I’ve re-married my husband four times now. If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s pick a wedding dress.”
The entire group giggles and the unease in my stomach untangles just a little.
I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around this. It’s so crazy. The wedding is only weeks away. Jude and I will be saying our vows in the greenhouse—our greenhouse—surrounded by our closest family and friends.
I never imagined walking down the aisle again. Especially not this soon, but when Jude dropped to one knee at his family’s Christmas dinner and popped the question, I realized that marrying him is exactly what I want.
That doesn’t make gown shopping any easier, though.
Feeling pretty defeated, I step out of the changing room for my friends’ assessment. There’s a little sting in my chest at their un-thrilled expressions.
Lily rises from her seat to circle around the platform where I’m standing. She tilts her head to the side as she examines the ivory-toned mermaid gown. “It’s pretty but it’s not quite…you.”
Jessa nods in agreement. “I say you should go with a princess style.”
“Of course you do.” Lexi rolls her eyes with a grin. “A short sheath dress would look great on you.”
“I think a bohemian gown is what you’re looking for,” Faith offers but that doesn’t feel right to me.
My shoulders slump in defeat. “I’m about to give up, guys. I don’t think there’s one single dress in here for me.” At this point, I just want to go home and sink into
my fiancé’s arms and let him make it all better. With his penis.
That man’s penis can make anything better. All of life’s disappointments, all of my insecurities, any of my worries. Nothing matters when Jude Kingston is making love to me. Right now, I just want to go to him.
But Jude has some business of his own that he’s dealing with today.
My man is on his way home after his first away-game of the football season.
Yes, Jude is back with the Paragons. Against all logic, against all likely outcomes, he’s back on the field and his team kicked Pittsburg’s butt last night.
Don’t ask me how it happened. Not even the doctors can explain how he did it. The sports commentators are calling it a miracle. The internet claims Jude is a bionic man with alien DNA who was part of a government experiment gone wrong.
The rumors floating around are crazy.
But according to Jude, his recovery is all due to the power of our love. I think that theory is my favorite.
Sometimes the doctors don’t have the answers. Sometimes the hospitals don’t have a clue. Sometimes love is the only hope for healing.
All I know is that my man has beat the odds. Again. And fuck the haters. There’s not one thing he can’t do.
After his second knee injury, when the doctors were all doom and gloom, Jude gave up, he accepted that he’d never play again. But I didn’t.
Although recovering from a repeat ACL injury is rare, a handful of footballers have done it in the past. And if anybody could recover from that kind of knee trauma—twice—it would be Jude, with his stubborn determination and his freakish Kingston genetics. What he needed most was my support. So, this time around, we worked even harder on his recovery than the first time. The outcome is my man back on the field.
Mister Baller: A Small Town Enemies-to-Lovers Sports Romance (Bad Boys in Love Book 2) Page 26
