by AG Meiers
With a few easy steps, Sven climbed on top. “Come up here. It’s all wet, but it should be okay. You are—” a roguish grin spread over his face “—you’re dressed appropriately.”
It took Jayden two tries to make it up the rock and that was with Sven’s help, but it was worth the effort. From the top, he could see farther down the river valley. Surrounded as they were by the mountains and the snow-covered peaks, the view was breathtaking.
For a moment, they just stood next to each other quietly. Then, Sven sat down and Jayden joined him. The rock was uneven, but with all the layers Jayden had put on, it was actually pretty comfortable.
Sven broke the silence. “So, why online dating?”
Jayden pushed himself back a little and pulled his right leg up. “You know, after my mom died, my whole life changed.” He looked up at Sven to gauge his reaction to the well-prepared answer. He’d anticipated this question would come up eventually and practiced his response in front of the mirror a few times. “I changed. I’m not interested in any meaningless hookups anymore. Maybe that was never really my thing anyway, but I know I want something real. I want to find somebody I can spend my life with.”
Jayden had expected an uneasy twisting in his stomach at the lie, but instead a rush of longing almost choked him. Staring straight ahead, he needed a minute before he could go on. Sven’s eyes were on him, but the other man didn’t interrupt, so Jayden stumbled on with his script. “I went to a bunch of online dating sites and filled out a few profiles. You were the first guy who just felt right. Perfect Match contacted me and asked me if I would consider coming up here.”
“And you said yes. Brave. I could’ve been an ax murderer. They make movies about mountain people like us.”
Jayden snorted. “You’re funny. Don’t remember that from your profile.” He gave Sven a shove with his elbow. They both laughed. It was still awkward. Like a first date, but at least their interaction wasn’t as tense as it had been yesterday morning.
Before Sven could ask another question, Jayden quickly threw in his own. “So, you’re not looking for somebody?” He had wanted to ask this ever since Sven had told him that Jayden was his birthday gift.
“No, not really.” Sven shook his head as if he still expected to wake up from a crazy dream. “Only my family knows I’m gay. At work no one knows. Logging and forestry aren’t known for being gay-friendly. And so far, I’ve had no reason to come out.”
“So, why not simply cancel?” Jayden asked. Then he remembered his mission and added, “Not that I would have wanted you to cancel. I mean I’m glad you didn’t. I’m glad I’m here.” Again he waved his arms around, including Sven, the rampant river, and Cold Creek Mountain into his statement.
“Orla was having too much fun,” was Sven’s laconic reply. The rain drops started falling again. There had been a few rays of sunshine when they’d started out earlier, but now the clouds were getting darker.
“Think Orla did a good job?” Jayden flinched at his own question. “I meant not with me . . . I mean with the profile . . . ehm, your profile . . . I’m just wondering if she filled out your profile right?”
When Sven didn’t reply, Jayden finally turned to look at him. Their eyes met. Sven’s gaze was quizzical as if he was contemplating his answer or maybe he was still trying to make sense out of Jayden’s jumbled words.
“I guess,” he answered eventually. The rain picked up, and drops started to fall hard. Sven let out a low curse. “Jayden, there are a few questions I want to ask, but we need to go now. I don’t want you to get soaking wet again.”
“Agreed,” Jayden said with a shudder, drawing another gorgeous smile from Sven.
They jumped off the rock and rushed back to the quad. Saved by the rain this time!
When they reached the quad, a relieved Jayden scrambled onto his seat. He enjoyed talking to Sven, but he didn’t quite trust himself. He had already slipped once by comparing Cold Creek to Wyoming.
Instead of bringing him straight back to the cabin, Sven dropped him off at the lodge. Orla had some fun unwrapping Jayden from his space suit. She also had a huge plate of crackers and cheese. Somehow Jayden was always hungry since his arrival in Cold Creek.
For the rest of the afternoon, Orla and Jayden researched cheesecake recipes. Sven showed up again shortly before dinner and started talking about his freelance writing. He was currently working on a large article about sustainable tourism for a regional paper.
When Greg and Petrovic joined them at the table and turned on the large TV to catch a hockey game, it became clear that dinner was a loud and boisterous affair in Sven’s family. There was no time for personal questions. Watching Sven joke and laugh with his family, Jayden started to relax. Maybe he hadn’t completely screwed this up yet. Maybe, just once, things would work out.
Perfect Match Commitment #6:
Nothing replaces face-to-face. Body to body. We don’t stop online, but make sure you get to meet the love of your life in person.
“You really don’t own many shirts or ties, do you?” Jayden asked, breaking the comfortable silence in the cabin, which was dimly lit by the last daylight and the brightly burning fire.
For the last two days, they’d kept tripping over the suitcase, so Sven had stuffed some of his clothes tighter together to clear a few shelves in the small closet next to the bed to make room for Jayden’s clothes. Jayden had resisted at first, saying he didn’t want to inconvenience Sven, but he’d finally agreed that it made sense to organize his stuff for the time he stayed in the tiny cabin.
From behind the kitchen counter, Sven watched Jayden unpack as he heated a tray of lasagna that Orla had given him earlier. The rain hadn’t let up all day. Yesterday, they’d been out with the quad, but today they’d been stuck inside the lodge or the small cabin. After a late breakfast with his family, Sven had excused himself to get more research done for his article, and Jayden had spent time with Orla in the kitchen. Greg, who had a day off, had been by for a few hours as well.
Across the room, Jayden took a piece of clothing out of his suitcase and carefully refolded it to match exactly the size of the narrow wooden shelves. Jayden was so absorbed in his task, that Sven wondered if he was even aware of what he was doing. It was good that he didn’t seem to be paying any attention to his surroundings, because, like a total fool, Sven couldn’t keep his eyes off his houseguest making himself at home. Again, there was this strange peacefulness that Jayden created in Sven’s world. These moments were becoming more and more frequent: Jayden at the dinner table with his family. Their clean laundry nesting together in the laundry basket. The smell of coffee and apple pie. And now, Jayden’s flashy city clothes side by side with Sven’s functional flannel shirts.
Sven had been trying to find time to ask questions and clarify their whole situation. He wasn’t sure that Jayden didn’t have unrealistic expectations about him. There hadn’t been another opportunity to talk today. The excursion to the waterfall had been the last time they’d been alone together. And even then, it had only taken a few minutes into the drive for Sven to realize that taking the quad hadn’t been his best idea. The noise of the engine had prevented any communication. With Jayden’s body pressed against his back, and his arms wrapped tightly around him, Sven’s intention of clarifying expectations had completely slipped his mind. On the contrary, having Jayden plastered against him had only reminded Sven how long he’d gone without touching another man. Way too long if a mud-splattered kid in a neon-orange plastic rain suit could get him all worked up.
The cabin was quiet except for the rain and the howling wind. Sven had been lost in his own thoughts while watching Jayden unpack. City Boy had taken a shower, and he was now wearing ridiculously low-hanging pajama pants. His dragon tattoo was teasing Sven whenever Jayden bent down to pick up another piece of clothing from his suitcase. But much belated, Jayden’s words caught up with him. “You really don’t own many shirts or ties, do you?” Where had that come from? Goddamn, som
eone must have filled him in about the job offer. Sure, Orla brought it up whenever she caught him alone, but Sven couldn’t believe that she’d discuss his personal business with Jayden.
“Why . . . why would you ask about shirts and ties?” Sven felt his hackles rise. It was tiring to constantly be questioned about his life and decisions he wasn’t ready to make.
“I meant . . . nothing,” Jayden answered sheepishly. He turned his back toward Sven and started digging through the last few pieces of clothes in his suitcase.
“Who told you about the job?” Sven was proud of the fact that his voice didn’t give his frustration away. It was bad enough that everybody in his family was relentlessly pushing him to finally say yes. He didn’t need a complete stranger to add his two cents as well.
“Greg might have mentioned something this afternoon . . .”
Sven rolled his eyes. Yeah, one day, he would wring his cousin’s neck and that day was close. Greg couldn’t ever keep his mouth shut. That wasn’t Jayden’s fault, but Sven’s future wasn’t any of his business either. Sven crouched down to check the lasagna in the oven, though it obviously wasn’t ready. It would give him a few minutes to think about a suitable reply that would put an end to the discussion. Jayden, however, took Sven’s silence as an invitation to continue.
“Greg said that you don’t want to do it because it’s an office job and you’d have to wear shirts and ties, even though they offered you a shit-load of money.” Jayden blushed. “His words, you know. He said you’d be stupid not to take it as you don’t have a real job right now.” Jayden froze and then added in a hurry, “Again, his words.”
Sven snorted. “Let me guess, he showed you the pros and cons list he has drawn up for me.”
“He might have pulled it out at some point.” Jayden turned crimson in the brightly lit cabin.
“Please tell me Orla wasn’t around.”
“Mmm, she might have been there?”
“Fuck.” Sven banged around in the kitchen to check the lasagna yet again, and Jayden took another pair of pants out of the suitcase and started to fold them on the bed.
“Is that true about the dress code?” Jayden asked. “Most offices don’t make you wear ties every day anymore.”
“I’m not sure . . . That’s not really the main reason.”
Jayden stuffed his pants onto the wooden shelf and for the first time didn’t fuss about them being perfectly aligned; instead he walked into the kitchen and sat down at the little table.
“It’ll still be a few minutes until the pasta is heated through.” Sven waved pointedly over to the half-finished project.
“Uh-huh.” Jayden settled in his chair and looked expectantly at him. Okay, so obviously, they were going to talk about Sven’s personal business. Greg was a dead man.
“Orla said it would be a great way to honor your father’s legacy because your work would make logging safer. She said it’s a dangerous job.”
Orla had said that? The job would honor Duncan’s legacy? She had never mentioned that to him before.
Jayden’s eyes were on him as he asked, “Did something happen to your uncle? I couldn’t help but notice his limp.”
“Yeah, a tree trunk shattered Elliot’s leg. He couldn’t go back to work, so he’s been retired for a while now. Orla is right—logging is a tough profession. It’s one of the most hazardous industries, with a fatality rate about thirty times above the national average. So, a few of the key players in the industry have pooled together to promote safety regulations.”
“And what would you do?”
“Technical writing. Everything from classroom training material to info sheets and safety videos. They even planned a whole new website. There’ve been efforts like this before, but this is definitely one of the largest initiatives ever financed in Canada.”
The timer on the stove beeped. While Sven took the lasagna out, Jayden got up and started to set the table. The kitchen was too small for both of them, and they awkwardly maneuvered around each other.
“We still need utensils.”
“Sit down. I’ll get them.” Sven pulled the drawer open to get some knives and forks, and instead of the jumble of utensils, his flatware was sorted and neatly aligned. There even was a little cardboard box in one corner with rubber bands and other smaller things. Order to the mess in Sven’s life. The kid might as well have left a note on top: Jayden was here!
“So, they offered you a job?” Jayden interrupted Sven’s thoughts as they settled down to eat. Before Sven could answer, Jayden took a bite of pasta, closed his eyes, and let out a delighted moan. “Mmm, so good. Wow! Orla is a fantastic cook.” After his little display of pleasure, he waved his fork around, gesturing for Sven to answer his question.
“Yes.” Sven adjusted himself under the table. Did City Boy have any idea how much he affected him? Desperate for a distraction, he started to talk.
“I worked in a logging camp a few seasons, so I know what it’s about. And I’ve also written a few articles about safety on the job, but I’ve never done a project like this. It’d be different. There’d be a team of writers and editors. There needs to be a real plan. Terminology needs to be consistent, so you need glossaries and style guides. There are also tools now that will allow you to recycle content in different output formats . . .” Sven looked up. Jayden had stopped eating and sat with a smirk on his face. Okay, yes, it really is a great job offer. No question. Sven’s ears heated as he stuffed a huge piece of pasta in his wayward mouth. They ate in silence for a while.
Finally, Jayden offered his opinion. “So, on the pro side we have good pay, fixed job with benefits, and what sounds like a cool new challenge. Why are you not jumping on it? There must be more than shirts and ties under cons.”
“It’s a temporary contract. Three years. And the whole project is headquartered in Vancouver. Long-term I don’t want to be in the city. And it’s just not my thing. I want to be able to see the mountains when I step out of my home. Not traffic jams.” Sven got up to get the water. “Refill?” he asked waving the bottle in Jayden’s direction.
“Yeah, please.”
Without being prompted, Sven gave Jayden another piece of lasagna.
Jayden tilted his head to the side as if he was contemplating Sven’s words. “So, you want to settle down somewhere permanently, and this job would delay you by three years, right? I get that. That’s definitely a valid reason.”
Jayden had connected the dots pretty quickly, while Sven’s family hadn’t picked up on his real concerns at all. Sven was tired of moving, tired of starting new, finding a new place to live, new friends. Sometimes it felt like being in foster care all over again. With Duncan’s death, he had lost a fixed point in his life, and it made him yearn for something more permanent than yet another temporary home.
For a while they simply focused on devouring their food, but then Sven added, “Also, I don’t want to leave Orla alone right now. Vancouver is hours away. I couldn’t come home every weekend.”
At his words, Jayden grew silent. For a few minutes, he picked at his pasta without eating much. What could Sven have said that put him off? Maybe it was just the fact that Sven wasn’t too keen on living in Vancouver. Jayden was clearly a city kid through and through.
“Eat up!” Sven grumbled. “You can use a little extra.”
Jayden ignored him and pushed his plate back. “My mom hated that I stopped school when she got sick. Absolutely hated it. She never had the opportunity to go to college because she got pregnant with me. So she was really, really excited for me when I started. She worked hard for it all her life. To give me the chance, you know?” Jayden’s voice sounded a little hoarse. “When the first test results came in and we still had hope, she tried to get me to go back, but after a while it was clear that this would be our last time together, so she stopped sending me away. Toward the end, I had to promise her every day that I wouldn’t give up on finishing my degree.”
Surprised by the sudden p
ersonal admissions, Sven wondered where Jayden was going with this. So far, he wasn’t quite clear what Jayden’s story had to do with his own dilemma, but he stayed quiet, giving Jayden a chance to continue.
“Marketing was my mom’s dream. If she hadn’t gotten pregnant with me, that’s what she would have chosen. And she would have been awesome at it, but me . . .” He let out a helpless snort. “I’m not creative. Not one bit, but I never told her. Back then, I thought it was the right thing to do, but every time I promised her to go back and finish my degree, I hurt inside. They were the last days with my mom, and there was this huge lie between us. I . . .” Jayden’s voice broke. He reached out for his water glass, but pulled back his shaking hand, his eyes brimming with unshed tears.
He was beautiful. Vibrating with raw, honest emotions. So beautiful and so fucking brave. Being this exposed, most men Sven knew would run at this moment. Remember something they’d forgotten in the lodge. Excuse themselves to the bathroom. At least make a stupid joke. Not Jayden. With grief, regret, and sadness written all over his face, he wasn’t hiding anything.
“All I want to say, really, is don’t put this on Orla. It’s not fair. Makes sense now that she is trying to push you into this so hard. She loves you. She doesn’t want to be the reason you miss out on a great opportunity.”
Sven said the first thing that came to his mind. “So you think staying here with my mother, who lost my dad only a few months ago, is wrong?” Shit. When had he gotten so defensive that he couldn’t have a normal conversation anymore?
Jayden quickly stood up and took his half-eaten plate to the sink. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I overstepped. My fault. You should have told me to mind my own business.”
“Listen, I hear you. I understand what you’re saying. Truth is, I never had a job offer like this before. To work as a full-time writer. I never thought of it as a job. Maybe I’m just . . . out of my comfort zone.” Yeah, that sounded better than plain scared. “And with my dad gone, Orla’s alone. It’s a difficult decision.”
