Perfect Match

by AG Meiers

  Finally, Jayden answered without lifting his head. “Sven, please, I can’t . . . I mean, our ten days are almost up. That’s all.”

  “That’s all.” Sven repeated the phrase like an idiot. “What the fuck do you mean that’s all? A ten-day vacation and then you just leave? Jayden, tell me, you can’t or you don’t want to stay in—”

  Jayden finally came to life again. “Stay? No, that’s . . . Fuck, Sven, I can’t stay here. Be realistic . . . What would I do? Be Orla’s little kitchen helper and your—” His voice dropped lower. “Whatever I am for you. I can’t stay here. I need to go back. I need a job. I need money.”

  “You got a job offer.”

  “That’s not enough to pay—” Jayden snapped his mouth shut, biting his lips. “It’s not enough money.”

  He was probably right; a part-time job wouldn’t cover his living expenses, but his logic hit Sven the wrong way. This was so not what he needed to hear right now. “Money? So that’s what this is about? Okay, then a simple forester and all this isn’t good enough for you. You’re looking for something better, are you? A new match. Well, you should have told me earlier. Could have saved yourself a few days in the rain.”

  “It’s not like that. It’s not about what I want. It doesn’t work that way. Ten days and then—” Jayden looked up in apparent horror at his own words and half jumped off the bed.

  “Ten days and then . . . what?”

  “Nothing . . . Just forget it—”

  “‘Nothing’? Ten days and then nothing? Fuck, Jayden, what are you saying?”

  The cover dropped from Jayden’s shaking hands, and he reached out to Sven before freezing again halfway. “Sven, no, it’s not what you think . . . Perfect Match . . . I . . .” Jayden’s eyes were pleading with Sven. Huge and dark in his pale face.

  “Okay.” Sven nodded and, with an iron grip, he tried to rein in his helpless frustration. He had to give Jayden a chance to clarify, hoping there was an explanation that wouldn’t rip his heart out. “Then explain this to me. I mean, why are you doing this? Why can’t we stay in touch?” Jayden lowered his head but didn’t reply. “Jayden, I thought the two of us . . . We maybe . . . Christ, I thought there was something between us. And now you’re talking about leaving and never . . . Can you at least explain so that I understand why?”

  There, Sven had laid it all out. Said more than he’d really been ready to say, but the thought of Jayden leaving, Jayden with somebody else turned his stomach. It was pretty irrational, but the lack of response to his questions wasn’t helping.

  The silence lay heavy between them again. Jayden slowly pulled his knees up against his chest, his shoulders slumped. “I can’t . . . I can’t tell you. It’ll change everything . . . I just can’t . . .”

  “You can’t tell me what?” Sven blinked in confusion. “It’ll change everything”?

  Jayden’s voice was a bare whisper now, as if he was more talking to himself than Sven. “I can’t tell. It’s already all messed up and, on the call . . . they said—” His head jerked up—his eyes wide.

  “‘They’? Who . . .? Perfect Match?”

  One look at a clearly panic-stricken Jayden told him he had it right. The agency was somehow involved in Jayden’s decision—which made no sense. Wasn’t it their whole mission to get him and Jayden together to live happily ever after? Unless— Oh God. David’s comments about scams came back to him. Scams were all about money, and hadn’t Perfect Match gotten a ton out of this arrangement? A suspicious amount for a weird service. Like Petrovic had said, “One big check and boom.”

  And if Perfect Match was a scam, then yeah, Jayden would have one damn good reason for leaving without any future contact.

  But this just couldn’t be true . . . Looking at Jayden, who now had lowered his head again and was avoiding eye contact, Sven pushed himself off the wall and walked the few steps over to the foot of the bed. He sat down almost within reach. “Please, baby, try me. Tell me what’s going on? Why do you just want to leave me?” Sven waited. “Jayden?”

  He couldn’t say how long he sat in front of a silent, unmoving Jayden. Waiting. Hoping for some other explanation. Nothing came.

  Everything seemed frozen, but after a while time started moving again. The sounds of the cabin came back. The low drumming of the rain on the roof, the crackling of the fire—it all only enhanced the devastating silence between them.

  Finally, Sven pulled himself together. “About eighty. Eighty dollars.”

  His reply seemed to shock Jayden out of his own immobile state. “Sven, please, I—”

  “No, it’s fine. If you have to leave, then leave. Let me know if you need me to give you the money.”

  Jayden’s gaze lifted again. Hurt and sadness huge in his eyes. Shit. What is he expecting? What else can I say? Sven needed a minute to clear his head before he did something really stupid like dropping down on his knees to beg Jayden to stay.

  He jumped off the bed, grabbed his boots and jacket, and stormed out of the cabin. On the porch, he slammed his feet into his hiking boots and started walking into the night without tying them. It was raining, but he didn’t feel the cold drizzle.

  Fuck. So fucking stupid. He’d known for a while now that Jayden had secrets, but he’d stopped asking questions after the first few days. He’d gotten so wrapped up in his fantasies of him and Jayden together. Happiness. Something real. A future. He was such fool.

  Sven tried to remember every word that Jayden had said tonight. Anything to counter the ugly suspicion that had taken hold in his mind. “It’s not enough money.” Money. Suddenly, it felt like that was what it came down to.

  But there were still loose ends. Bits and pieces of conversation that didn’t make sense. Jayden had been ecstatic about getting the job with the recipe website. He hadn’t faked his initial excitement. There was no reason he would need that job if he’d get money from conning guys like Sven.

  Sven stopped walking and raised his face toward the cold rain in an attempt to cool down the frenzy in his mind. He needed to stop avoiding conflict and confront Jayden, push for answers and figure out what was going on. Sven let the ice-cold drops run over his numb skin. He had to go back.

  In that moment, the cabin door flew open and Jayden rushed out. He was still pulling his second boot on as he stumbled down the front steps.

  “Sven, please, where are you? Please . . .” Jayden ran toward him, crashing into him. Sven barely managed to catch him with one arm before he would have hit the ground. In the dim light of the front porch, he could see the tears in Jayden’s eyes, his wet cheeks.

  “Please,” Jayden said in a rough whisper. “I’m so sorry. Please let me explain, okay? I don’t want you to—”

  Sven didn’t let Jayden finish. Before Jayden could say more, Sven hauled him back to the cabin. He didn’t stop until they walked inside. There wasn’t really anywhere they could sit next to each other except the bed, so he pushed Jayden onto the sheets. He stayed at the bottom of the bed and folded his arms across his chest.

  “You’d better start talking. I know I’m an asshole and a fool, but Jayden, I’m out of patience. I need to know what’s going on.”

  Jayden kicked off his muddy boots and pulled his legs up against his body, wrapping his arms around himself.

  “Jayden. Now.”

  “Okay . . . okay. It’s kind of a long story. Sit down with me.”

  Sven shook his head and remained rooted in his spot.

  “You’re gonna hate me,” Jayden whispered. “Sven, please believe me if I could start over . . . here . . . with us, I mean, I would—”

  “Just tell me.”

  Sven fully expected Jayden to stall again, but once he started talking, the words rushed out of him.

  “Two years ago, my biggest problem was which classes to pick for my junior year, and then one phone call later, everything changed. Suddenly it was all about meds, more and more tests for my mom, then treatment schedules and the damn percentages. It ha
d always been only her and me. And Mom, she had always been so full of energy. It was hard to see her getting weaker and weaker every day. I came home to take care of her. Then, when the pain got really bad, we just waited. And still, even though I knew what was coming, I wasn’t prepared. I felt so lost without her, so overwhelmed.”

  Jayden’s eyes were bright with tears again. A part of Sven wanted to comfort him, but the betrayal still cut too deep. He held back as Jayden continued in a low, halting voice.

  “There was so much paperwork. A guy I’d seen a few times at the hospital approached me and said he worked for a volunteer organization. He offered to help with all the insurance stuff and the bills. Mike.” There was a sneer in Jayden’s voice. “That was the guy’s name—Mike—he was real nice and he took care of everything. But the bills just kept coming. I sold the little we owned, even my mom’s jewelry and our TV, but in the end, I was still short. Again, Mike helped me out and hooked me up with a low-interest loan. I wasn’t too worried, because I’d found a decent job. All was fine for a few weeks and then I lost my job. I fell behind with my payments, and suddenly the interest went up and there were late fees.”

  Sven clenched his jaw hard but said nothing.

  “Five thousand turned into seven, and then eight. I was getting more and more desperate—” Jayden visibly faltered, but then he took a deep breath and his voice was a little steadier when he continued. “I tried to reach Mike to ask for help, but the fucker had disappeared completely. Nobody at the hospital had ever heard of him. That’s when it dawned on me that all my problems had started with Mike, so I went home and reviewed the hospital paperwork. At first I couldn’t find anything suspicious, just bills and receipts. It took me a long time to discover that some invoices were awfully similar. Like they’d been copied with minor changes and a different account number for payment. Same procedure, different amounts. I’m pretty sure Mike faked a number of them and my money went into his pockets instead of to the hospital’s accounts. I know it sounds bad that I didn’t notice anything at the time, but I barely glanced at the paperwork. It was a rough time. Still, I should have checked or at least questioned the amounts. Looking back, I’m almost certain Mike and the loan sharks worked together. Mike pretended to be helping, only to steal my money and set me up with his loan-shark buddies, and then send in the goons once I started to ask questions at the hospital.” Jayden’s gaze was unfocused. Then he shrugged. “I trusted the wrong guy. And when I finally figured it out, it was too late. They came for me the same day.”

  “The guys from the match-making agency were behind all this?”

  Jayden shook his head. “No, Perfect Match had nothing to do with that. They came later. The loan-shark enforcers, or whatever they are called, they were really scary. Came to my tiny apartment and gave me fifteen minutes to pack and then dragged me off. They took my wallet and my phone and locked me in a room. They threatened me, beat me, and said I would have to pay off my debt by . . . you know . . . on my knees and . . . I was scared out of my mind . . .” Shivers went through Jayden’s body. “But, Sven, I was also ashamed. I’d been such a fucking idiot. My mom would have been so disappointed in me. She raised me as a single mother. We had a home and she worked two jobs, but always took care of stuff. She made it on her own. And I failed her. I remember sitting there locked up in that stupid room and thinking that I deserved anything that came my way, because I’d been such a loser.”

  Suddenly scared for Jayden, Sven broke into a cold sweat. Let it not go there! Please. This was way worse than he had expected, and he wasn’t sure if he could handle the whole story. Unable to stay away any longer though, he sat down next to Jayden. Their shoulders touched as they settled against the headboard.

  “Jayden, did they . . . Did you have to . . .” Damn. Sven couldn’t even ask the question, dreading the answer too much, but Jayden seemed to get it anyway.

  “No. Before— Nicolas Carter came. Perfect Match bought out my debt, and Carter gave me my wallet back, though my phone was already gone. He even let me get a few more things from my apartment, and then we left Philly. He took me out to Nowhere, Wyoming. It wasn’t too bad. Before coming here, I had a job at a coffee shop to pay my living expenses. And while I worked, the guys from the agency explained Perfect Match to me.”

  “So, you owe them money?”

  “Yeah, a lot of money.”

  “How does it work?” Sven knew his question sounded like an interrogation. Impersonal. But he needed to push himself to get through this.

  “If somebody can’t be matched from the database, then they fake the profile and send somebody to pretend for ten days, exactly as stated in the contract. Alex is my handler. He had your file and made all the arrangements. He did the call with you. Jackson . . .” Jayden hesitated. “He’s kind of a coach. He explained stuff to me . . . what was expected from me.” His voice had dropped to a whisper, and Sven could see fiery red heat creeping down his neck.

  “He didn’t touch you, did he?” Some of his anger and disgust came through in his voice.

  “Who? Jackson? Oh no, he— No, not like that. He just told me stuff.”

  “Okay, I think I get it,” Sven finally said, trying to save Jayden some embarrassment. “Go on.”

  “You were my first assignment and . . . and I screwed it up the minute I walked through the door, because I was scared again.”

  And I was a complete ass to you, Sven added silently, but out loud he said, “So, it was all fake? You were just . . . pretending?”

  “No, no. Yes, maybe I lied about the flight and little things, but I wasn’t pretending. I . . . Shit, you’re not going to believe me now and I get it, but, Sven, nothing about us was fake.”

  Sven stayed quiet. Not sure what to say. Jayden leaned against him, but then suddenly pulled himself up, and for the first time since he’d started his story, he made eye contact. “I’m so sorry. There is no excuse, but . . . Hell, it’s hard to explain . . . I’m just trying to find a way forward. Fix my own fuckups. I’m tired of being scared and so tired of being pushed around. I need to pay back the money I owe. Once I’ve worked it all off, then I can move on with my life.”

  “Work it off? You can’t mean—”

  “I just need to do this, Sven. Nicolas Carter’s shady, but Perfect Match? They’re nothing compared to the guys that locked me in that room.” He started shaking, and swallowed hard. “I don’t know if you understand . . . the things they said to me when they put me in there. I don’t want to get into that kind of situation ever again. I can’t let anybody else sort out my shit anymore—”

  “You mean you don’t trust anybody?” Sven interrupted.

  Jayden just shook his head. “It’s not that. But I need to figure this out by myself. I told you. I’m done fucking up and running scared. I’m going back to pay off my debt.”

  “Over my dead body.” Sven was surprised by his own words, but he meant them. Whatever hurt and anger he felt right now, there was no way he’d let Jayden go back to whore himself out.

  “What?”

  “You heard me. Over. My. Dead. Body.”

  “Did you hear anything I said? I won’t let anybody take over my life ever again. I have to deal with this myself.” Jayden was almost yelling now. Sven had actually never seen Jayden worked up like this. His face was flushed, almost grim, and hot tears were running down his cheeks. He kept wiping them away impatiently.

  “Jay, do you really think for one second your mom would be disappointed? I can’t—”

  “You know nothing. I couldn’t fix it. She died . . .” A sob escaped Jayden’s lips. “I . . . I tried so hard, but . . .”

  “God, Jayden!” Sven closed the gap and pulled the crying young man into his arms. “I got you, baby.”

  Sven simply held him close. Jayden had been through so much. Sven couldn’t even agree to a well-paying job because he didn’t want to start over again in a new place, and here was Jayden trying to hold a completely derailed life together. Alo
ne.

  Jayden took deliberate breaths and relaxed in Sven’s arms. Another deep breath and he slowly straightened out of Sven’s embrace.

  “Sorry. If you didn’t think I was a major head case before, you probably do now. I know my mom’s illness wasn’t my fault, but . . . I’m a mess.” Jayden sat up in the bed and started to fiddle with the comforter, avoiding Sven’s gaze. “Sven, I shouldn’t have lied to you. Deceived you. You deserve better. I’m so sorry for everything. I wish . . . I wish it wasn’t like this—”

  “Don’t apologize.”

  “Why are you nice? You should be so angry with me.”

  But Sven wasn’t angry. All he could think of was a scared Jayden locked up in some dingy hotel room thinking that it was what he deserved because he’d failed his mother’s memory. Even now, he still seemed to be breaking down under all the guilt he’d piled on himself. Sven could relate. He had his own regrets. Big picture, it wouldn’t make much difference to share his own story, but maybe it would at least show Jayden that his honesty meant a lot to Sven. Glad that his voice sounded calmer than he felt inside, he started, “I get feeling guilty. And blaming yourself.”

  Jayden lifted his gaze and met Sven’s eyes. Sven gave himself a mental push.

  “I wasn’t here when my dad died. Worse, I hadn’t been home for a few months. Trips were planned and then my life got busy . . . Something came up and I canceled again. I knew it was shitty, but there was always a reason until it was too late. I failed him.”

  “That’s not the same. You couldn’t have known. No way. You didn’t fail him.”

  “See, you don’t understand. Dad deserved better from me. He didn’t deserve that I put anything above him. When nobody else wanted me, he and Mom took me in. They gave me a home when I had long given up on hope. He was the best father anybody could have asked for and I . . . made excuses and thought I had more important things to do than to come up here and visit him.” Sven focused on Jayden to make sure he understood. “Rationally, I know . . . nobody could have known. He was healthy as a horse all of his life. The heart attack was a complete shock. I also know it wouldn’t have made a difference if I’d been here. There was nothing I could have done, but still I feel like I failed.”