Perfect Match

by AG Meiers

  Jayden curled himself into Sven’s embrace, and Sven pulled him in tight. “You see? I get it. I understand that you blame yourself. And that you think you deserve all the shit that’s been happening to you.”

  There was a moment of silence, then Jayden asked, “Is that why you are so hesitant to take that job in Vancouver?”

  “Jay, this isn’t about me.” Sven shook his head. “I’m just telling you this to tell you that I don’t think you’re . . . crazy to feel guilty.” Another tear ran down Jayden’s cheek. Sven gently brushed it away with his thumb. “I can understand you blame yourself and believe you failed everybody, but I don’t see you that way. You’re a lot braver and stronger than you give yourself credit for. Give it some time. Trust me, things will work out.”

  Jayden relaxed into his arms with a deep sigh. Sven held him close as he continued to stroke Jayden’s soft locks out of his face. There had been moments in Sven’s life when he’d felt alone in the world, but they were long in the past. He’d grown up with people around him who supported and loved him. Life had taught him to never take them for granted, but he’d always known he could count on his family, while Jayden had nobody.

  Now that Sven knew that, there was no anger left, but he couldn’t shake the hurt quite as quickly. Jayden hadn’t only kept secrets. He’d outright lied. He’d come to Cold Creek as part of an elaborated scam. Yeah, sure, Sven’s pride was hurt, because he’d been played so easily, but there was also a deeper cut. All those times when he had rejected Jayden’s advances and had felt like an ogre came back to him now. Jayden’s apparent hopefulness and insistence had been endearing at the time, but now bitterness burned a hole into Sven’s stomach. Had it all been part of a ploy?

  Suddenly, it was hard to be this close to Jayden—the conflicting emotions, his protectiveness of Jayden and his own hurt, waged war inside of Sven. He carefully extracted himself from the embrace.

  “I need some water. Do you want some?”

  Jayden nodded. Sven could feel his eyes following him through the room as he got two glasses and filled them with water. Jayden’s cell phone was still lying on the kitchen table. A stark reminder of Jayden’s connection to Perfect Match and all the secrets and lies that now stood exposed between them. Instead of walking back, Sven grabbed the edges of the kitchen counter and leaned hard against it.

  “Sven, I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry for . . . for everything.”

  Sven didn’t answer. What could he say?

  “Please, you have to believe me. Please. I felt so guilty all the time. You were so amazing. Your family . . . Everybody was so good to me. And it got harder and harder the more time we spent together . . . the closer—”

  Jayden must have seen the tension in Sven’s stance, because he stopped abruptly.

  “Did you ever fake it?” This was Sven’s worst fear. His voice was brittle when he continued, “You said . . . nothing about us was a lie. But how can I believe that now? I understand you had no choice, but . . . Fuck, Jayden, this is hard.” He wasn’t even sure there were any words to describe how deeply he felt the betrayal. “All this time we were together, you were deceiving me . . . Oh God, Jayden, did you . . . did you ever have sex with me because it was part of the scheme?”

  “No!” Jayden scampered out of bed and flew across the room. “No, not once. You have to believe me. What happened between us had nothing to do with Perfect Match. Please, just listen, okay?” All color had drained from his face. His eyes brimmed with unshed tears. “You’re amazing. Gorgeous. And you are kind and caring. I was attracted from the first minute I saw you. Everything about you draws me in. You’re my Viking warrior. I know I’m a fucking mess. I have hang-ups. Anxiety attacks. People think I’m crazy. But when I’m with you, I feel safe and . . . happy. Sven, when I’m with you I’m happy. Happier than I’ve been for a very long time.” A single tear rolled down Jayden’s cheek. “I have never felt like this with anybody. I l—” Jayden bit his lips, but before Sven could say anything, he continued, “Please believe me. You deserve better than some messed-up loser who sold his soul, so much better, and I understand if you never want to see me again—”

  “Hey, enough.” Sven put his hand on Jayden’s shoulder and caught him when he collapsed into his arms. Clearly emotionally drained, Jayden shivered against Sven. “It’s okay. I need some time to think about all this,” Sven said. Jayden could probably hear the uncertainty in his voice, so to reassure him, Sven tightened his arms around him. “We’ll figure it out, okay? I just need time.”

  Jayden nodded against Sven’s shoulder. “I can sleep in the chair tonight. If you don’t want me—” He waved over to the bed.

  “No. I’m not going to let you sleep in the chair.” Gently, Sven pulled Jayden back to the bed and tucked him under the quilt. “Stay. We’ll talk more tomorrow.”

  Jayden settled in and Sven lay down beside him. Neither of them went to sleep. They lay silently next to each other.

  At some point, Jayden whispered, “I thought somehow it would be okay if I made you happy.”

  Sven didn’t reply, but he had been happy the last few days.

  A soft ding from his phone woke Sven up. Wondering who’d texted him in the middle of the night, he then realized to his surprise that it was already five in the morning. Despite everything, he must have fallen asleep at some point in the night. The reading light on his nightstand was still on.

  The last thing he remembered was watching Jayden sleep. Jayden breathing deeply with his lips parted. It had taken all of Sven’s willpower to stop himself from kissing Jayden’s eyebrows or the long lashes resting on his cheeks. But Jayden needed rest, and he seemed to be sleeping more peacefully tonight than in the earlier nights. As if now that he wasn’t under pressure to play the agency’s deceptive games anymore, he’d finally relaxed.

  Sven was reeling from Jayden’s revelation. So much hardship, and somehow Jayden was still on his feet moving forward. His resilience and determination to fix his life on his own demanded respect. Sven had to acknowledge that he’d been waiting on the sidelines himself instead of taking control of his own future.

  Unable to resist, Sven gently brushed an errant strand of hair out of Jayden’s face. City Boy let out a low sigh and burrowed himself a little deeper into the covers. There was another ding from his phone. Jayden clearly wasn’t ready to start the day, so Sven carefully crawled out of bed to get it. He would only get himself in trouble if he stayed next to the tempting body any longer. Plus, he needed to get a few things figured out before he could face Jayden.

  Sven picked up his phone. To his surprise he had two messages from David.

  The first one read: You know, you should go for it.

  And the second: Not that you need my blessing or anything.

  And then a third message came in: Shit, not what I meant . . .

  Followed by Just give me a call, okay?

  Sven grabbed his jeans from the floor and a fleece from a shelf in his closet, and with a last look at sleeping beauty, he left the cabin and sat down on the small bench on his front porch. The morning sun had barely reached the tips of the mountains, and the valley was still deeply in shadows.

  He took out his phone to read his friend’s messages again, glad David had reached out. His focus the last few days had been on Jayden, but despite not being close recently, David was a good friend. And, fuck, right now, he could use a friend. He pulled up David’s number and hit Call.

  “Larson? I didn’t mean call me right now.” There was no morning drowsiness in Dave’s voice though. He’d never needed much sleep and seemed to be up at odd hours of the night.

  “You’re a mind reader?” Sven said instead.

  “What? No. Why?”

  “Because I’m trying to figure stuff out. Your text, do you mean that? You think I should go for it?”

  “Ehmm . . . let’s make sure we’re talking about the same thing. Actually, hang on, let me get my coffee.” There were some background noises as Da
vid settled down. “I’m not a mind reader, but I’m a decent listener . . . if you want to talk.”

  Yes, Sven wanted to talk, but after the other night, he wasn’t sure if David really wanted to hear more about Jayden.

  Just like always, David interpreted the silence right and said, “Listen, I want to apologize running off like I did. Wasn’t very mature. Truth is I came out to see you because . . . I was lonely and watching you with your boy t—”

  “Jayden.”

  “Yeah, seeing you with your Jayden rubbed it in.”

  “Dave, maybe—”

  “No, listen, it’s fine. I’m not a jilted lover. I’m reaching out as your friend. Sven, we broke up over a year ago. It’s done. But I feel that I didn’t give you good advice. Hell, you asked me a lot of good questions, and I only blew you off with snarky remarks, wallowing in my pity party.” There was some heat in his voice. He clearly cared. And he was indeed a good listener.

  “Dave, truth is I don’t know what to do. I know it’s fast, Jayden and I, we just met a week ago, but he does it for me. However, we finally talked last night and . . .” Sven sucked in a deep breath of fresh mountain air. “And a few things came out. Now, I’m not sure.”

  “Huh? You looked pretty love-struck to me. I guess that’s what I was trying to say with my text. Don’t rush into it, but if you think there is something, you shouldn’t walk away . . . or overthink it and wait too long.”

  “So you don’t think I’m crazy? Because right now, I don’t know. It’s complicated . . . More complicated than I expected.”

  “Because it would be a long-distance relationship? He lives in Philadelphia, right?” It was touching that David had clearly thought about Sven’s relationship with Jayden. “It’s definitely tricky, but there are plenty of couples who make it work.”

  Sven paused. The whole thing was a clusterfuck, and he had no intention of sharing everything with David, but talking to him might help put last night’s revelations into perspective, so he started with the most obvious. “No, no, it’s . . . Actually, Jayden is between jobs and doesn’t really have a place to go back to, so technically we could start somewhere together or at least closer together, even though we can’t stay here in Cold Creek. There is no work for Jayden, and he needs a job.”

  “No kidding. Sven, unless you like trees and mountains, there isn’t much of anything in Cold Creek. I’m surprised how long you stayed this time.”

  “What’s wrong . . . I love the mountains.” David let out a low snort, but Sven didn’t let him interrupt. “I had my reasons, but now I’m thinking . . .Vancouver would be a good choice. And I could take the job with the Forest Industry Council.”

  “For Jayden?” Dave’s question was loaded with disapproval.

  “No. It’s not just for Jayden. I know I was on the fence, but I mainly hesitated because I’ve never lived in a city. Not sure I’m gonna like it, and the thought of starting all over again— I admit, I’m not crazy about it. But if it wasn’t me alone, if Jayden was part of it . . . it would be different. More like an adventure . . .” Anticipation surged through Sven. The pros suddenly outweighed the cons. Truth was, damn, he would love that job. Still, he had his family to think about. “And the other reason for my hesitation was Orla. I don’t want to leave her alone. You know, with Duncan gone. I should stay here, close to her.”

  “Okay, I get that.”

  “But I could potentially negotiate some remote work and come back home to spend time with her. Then I wouldn’t be gone for months.”

  “Sounds like a good solution. So you are planning to move to Vancouver and Jayden could get a job and stay with you? You’re thinking of coming out?”

  Am I ready to come out? For a moment Sven let the question sink in. He was thirty years old and had lived a lie all his life.

  He must have waited too long with his reply though, because David continued, “Listen, I know I’ve always made it sound as if we had more to lose by coming out, but maybe I had it wrong . . . maybe it’s the other way around. Lying and sneaking around sucks. In Vancouver, even living together with Jayden probably wouldn’t be a huge deal.”

  Living together. With Jayden. Sven let his head fall against the wall behind him. A flashflood of pictures rushed through his mind. Coming home with Jayden welcoming him at the door. One giant bed for both of them with a pile of warm covers for his boyfriend. A sleep-rumpled Jayden at breakfast.

  Suddenly, the answer was very simple. “Yeah, I’m done hiding in the closet. I’m gonna come out no matter what. But, I admit, Jayden has a lot to do with it.”

  “Heh, good for you, man. This is big and I’m happy for you.” Before Sven could reply, David asked, “Does Jayden feel the same? Do you know?”

  Sven was almost certain that Jayden felt the same. With every tear-streaked apology last night, he’d shown Sven how much he cared and how upset he was about the lies and deception. However, he was part of a scam, and Sven had been the target. It was hard to push the hurt about the betrayal aside. A part of Sven wasn’t sure he could simply move forward, even though he understood now that Jayden hadn’t had much choice. Still it would be a whole lot easier to forgive if Jayden had come clean once things had gotten more serious between them instead of waiting for everything to fall apart.

  “Yes, I think he does, but . . . it’s just complicated. He’s in trouble . . . financial trouble, and he has his pride, you know? He doesn’t want me to get pulled into his mess. He drew a line in the sand last night. Wants to fix his own problems.”

  David snorted. “Oh shit . . .”

  “Huh?”

  “‘Financial trouble’ . . . Fuck, I don’t like the sound of that. And believe me, a lot of my victims’ statements start with bullshit like, ‘At first he said, I won’t pull you into my mess.’”

  “Dave, give me some credit, I’m—”

  “No, let me finish. You know why I worry with you? Because you, my man, have the white-knight syndrome. Okay, so maybe he’s told you he wants to fix his own life, but I saw you melt into a big puddle when he stood there with his big Bambi eyes, all lost and confused, but determined to fight for you. You love saving the day. So, I hope you’re not planning to rush in and pay his debt.”

  “No, of course not, but—”

  David let out a groan. “‘But’? Ahh, shit, Sven, there shouldn’t be a ‘but’ in that sentence. Are you at all listening to me?” Another muffled curse and then he said, “Okay, I admit. You guys got chemistry and he obviously cares about you. That’s great, but you’re my friend and I know you so I’m asking you to just keep your head on straight, okay?”

  “Nah . . . done with straight.”

  “Asshole. You know what I mean.” David laughed, but then sobered immediately. “Money can derail a relationship quickly and you guys are barely in one yet.”

  “I hear you. I do. Anyway, I’m telling you Jayden was pretty adamant about keeping me out of it.” The thought of Jayden going back to Perfect Match turned his stomach. He had to find a way to get Jayden out of the clutches of that blasted agency, even if there wasn’t a happy ending for the two of them together. “Dave, I wouldn’t forgive myself if anything happened to him.”

  “Fuck, here we go.” David sighed in disapproval. “I’m not sure that I’m following here, but I assume that means we’re not talking a few overdrawn credit cards.”

  “No, he’s tangled up in some bad stuff.”

  “How bad?” His voice suddenly had an edge to it.

  “Bad.”

  “Do I want to know?”

  Sven hesitated but then stayed firm. He wouldn’t break Jayden’s trust. “No. No, I don’t think you want to know.”

  This time, David let out a whole string of vicious curses. “I wanted to be all supportive and give you a push to move forward. But now you’re telling me that Jayden is in legal trouble— Shit, I don’t even want to know. I’ll stop asking questions. I’m walking a real thin line here, but just promise me you won’t do
anything stupid.”

  Sven mentally rolled his eyes. He wasn’t the kind of guy to rush into stuff. He usually spent too much time overthinking, and if there was one person that knew this about him, it was David. However, he could understand where his friend was coming from. He probably would give the same advice to Dave if their roles were reversed. “I promise. I won’t do anything stupid.”

  There was a frustrated huff on the other end of the line. “You really got it bad, huh?”

  “I—I have to find a way to keep him safe.” This was the one thing he was sure about. He wouldn’t let Jayden go back to Perfect Match.

  “Holy shit, Sven.”

  Sven opened his mouth to reply, but David interrupted. “You, my friend, are not only a fool in love, but you have a hero complex as well. Doesn’t get much worse than that. For what it’s worth though, I believe you do it for him as well. Jayden looks at you like you hung the moon. But as I said, take time to think it through. You hear me? Sit your ass down and think it all through. Talk to your family and . . . call me if you need somebody to talk to.”

  David hung up.

  Sven let his head fall against the wall behind him again. Shit. How had he gotten here? Dave was right. He had a lot of thinking to do. Staring at the mountain, he sat for a while on the narrow bench, but eventually the crisp morning air caught up with him. It was too chilly to sit outside for an extended time. Quietly, he checked on Jayden, who was still fast asleep under a pile of blankets.

  He left a quick note on the kitchen table. Then he slipped into his boots and his jacket and walked over to the lodge. It was early, and he let himself in through the back door, expecting to be the first one there. Instead, he heard Orla calling out before he even entered the front room, “Elliot, is that you?”

  “No, it’s me, Sven.”