by Carol Dawn
Trigger’s Light
Infernal Sons MC #4
Carol Dawn
Trigger’s Light
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Copyright © 2020 Carolyn Jacobs (Carol Dawn)
All rights reserved
Published by Carolyn Dawn Jacobs
Cover by Carolyn Dawn Jacobs
Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Names, characters, and locations are products of the author’s imagination.
Dedication
To those who don’t believe in love!
This is for you.
Prologue
(6 Years Ago)
Trigger
My sister sure did look beautiful.
In her fucking casket.
I knew her boyfriend was bad news from the moment I met him. But Ava said she loved him, and so I took a step back.
“It’s not your job to look out for me, little brother.”
That’s what she would tell me every time I asked how he was treating her. I may only be twenty-three to Ava’s thirty-one, but I would have fought to the death, mine or his, just to keep her safe.
I should have followed my gut. Now, the fucker’s in prison and out of my reach.
Ava owned a child’s rescue organization called, Never Alone, where she would raise money to help children in need. It was also a shelter for homeless children alone on the streets and a safe place for any child who needed a safe place to be. Even if it was only for an hour.
My sister was an amazing woman with a heart of gold.
Never Alone, was her baby. And she left it to me.
She raised me from the time I was twelve years old when our mother died from an overdose. Hell, she was raising me when our mother was alive. Ava was the only parent I really had.
So, going with her to, Never Alone, every day was something I loved doing. I know the ins and outs of the business. I’ve always been good at handling any child who entered the building. Ava said it was because I have a protector feel on the outside and sunshine on the in.
She was full of shit sometimes.
However, I don’t think I can even walk back into that building, let alone run it. One of Ava’s best friends offered to manage it until I get my life figured out. Well, I’ve figured it out. I have no more life. I signed the place over to her an hour ago.
My good for nothing mother is dead, and my father is in prison for sexual abuse and assault to a minor.
Now, the only person alive who mattered to me is dead. There’s nothing left for me anymore.
I’m sitting at the top of Paradise Trail, watching the sun go down. It’s quiet here. The perfect place to take my last breath.
My finger twitches against the trigger in anticipation.
I raise the gun, place the barrel in my mouth, and close my eyes.
“You should go for the temple.”
I look to my left and see a young man making himself comfortable on the ground beside me. I lower the gun and glower at the man.
“What?”
“The temple,” he repeats. “If you want to die, I’d go for the temple, not the mouth. However, there’s a possibility that it still might not work. The brain can survive a fuck ton of damage.”
“I want to be alone. Leave.”
He laughs. “I like you.” The man lays on the ground with his arms under his head. “That trail is exhausting, don’t you think? I’m just going to lay here for a bit and rest. Do what you came here to do, I’m not going to interfere.”
I turn back to the sunset and raise the gun. This time to my temple.
“My names Bear, by the way.”
Taking a deep breath, I lower my arm.
“Listen, man, I really need you to leave or shut the fuck up. And what type of name is Bear anyway?”
“Middle name actually. My parents are nuts. Speaking of parents, you should meet my Pa. I think he might like you, too.”
“Why in the hell would I want to meet your Pa?”
“Cause he’s the president of a motorcycle club, and like I said, he’ll like you.”
Fucking hell. All I want is silence. Is that too much to ask?
“I don’t want to meet your parents, man. I just want to close my eyes and never fucking open them again.”
“That’s one hell of a nap,” he sits back up. “Listen, how about we come to a compromise. Holster that gun for the time being and come with me. If what my Pa offers isn’t good enough, I’ll drive you back here myself and help you pull the trigger.”
“I doubt what your Pa wants would be good enough to want to stay living.”
“Don’t blow it off before you have the chance to hear it,” he tells me. “Come with me, man. If Pa gives the okay, you could be part of one heck of a family. I have a feeling that you’re going to be pretty important to me one day.”
“Whoa, I don’t roll that way, brother.”
Bear laughs. “I didn’t think you did. Speaking of brother, come with me and be mine. You won’t regret it.”
I think about his offer. Some small part of me must want to live. I think about my sister. She would want me to live. I think about all those children that we’ve helped at, Never Alone. They looked up to me and fought their little asses off to live. They would expect nothing less of me.
“Names, Mason,” I finally say.
“Nice to meet you, Mason. My twin is waiting for me at the bottom of the trail. He got distracted by some hikers. Let’s go meet up with him and head to the clubhouse.”
“There’s two of you?”
“I’m the better looking one.”
With a concealed smile, so he doesn’t realize how grateful I am, I holster my gun, stand, and follow Bear down the path.
Chapter One
Trigger
Kill me now!
My life used to be perfect. Well, maybe perfect isn’t the right word. I used to be content. Content to just hide in the shadows ignoring everyone around me.
I was happy to live my life that way. It was better not only for me but for everyone else as well.
Then the MC’s president, Bear, had to go and get himself a damn woman. A woman who can’t seem to understand that I don’t want to converse with her. I don’t want to help her decorate for parties or make cookies.
Delicious cookies. Fuck, I love cookies.
“All I’m saying is that if you help me, I can get it done faster. And it would make things so much easier for me. You know, since I have this huge belly and all.”
The woman never stops talking. I prefer staying silent, but Rose always makes sure she talks enough for both of us. Hell, for the whole damn club.
“All you have to do is hang this sign and blow up all of the balloons,” Rose continues.
“Why the fuck do you need so many balloons, woman?” I ask.
“Because it’s a party, Trig,” she says, throwing her hands on her hips. “And a party requires balloons.”
“Mmm.”
Sure, a party can have balloons, but I swear there are about two-hundred balloons waiting for my life-sustaining oxygen to make them swell. I don’t waste any part of my life on anyone. Especially something as stupid as party decorations.
I refuse to be used this way.
I’m a killer, not a fucking clown.
◆◆◆
One hour. That’s how long it took to blow up every single fucking balloon.
“What the hell, Rose?” Hawk says, standing in the door frame of Rose and Bear’s home. “
Where’s the floor?”
“Hey, Hawk,” Rose says, hugging him. “Trigger helped me get things ready for Bella’s birthday party.
“Woah,” Slim slides in beside Hawk. “Who was killed in order to blow all of these up?”
“That would be Trig, sweet boy,” Hawk says, kissing Slim’s head.
I ignore them and grab the birthday banner Rose wants hung in the kitchen. These fuckers will try to talk to me if I stick around.
“Better you than me,” Bear mutters, walking into the kitchen. “She made me blow them all up for Saint Patrick’s Day. Fucking Saint Patrick’s Day, Trig. Only my woman would use Patty’s Day as a reason to have a party. With a hundred green balloons.”
I remember that day. I’ve never seen so much green in one home: green cake, green ice cream, green pizza. Green now makes me want to kill.
But never Rose. Never Bella. Never Slim. Never my brothers. Unfortunately, I love all of those fuckers. They’re my family. But I would never tell them that.
Knowing he’s not expecting an answer from me, Bear grabs two beers from the fridge and hands me one.
“Hey brother,” Hawk says, walking into the kitchen, holding Slim’s hand. “We have something we want to talk to you about.”
“Sounds serious,” Rose says, making her way to Bear.
“It is,” Slim says.
Seeing everyone get settled in around the kitchen table, I down my beer and toss the bottle in the trash.
“I’m out,” I say.
“No,” Slim says. “Stay Trig. There’s a good chance I might need your muscles if this conversation goes south.”
Interesting. I lean against the wall and listen.
“So,” Hawk starts. “We had a talk, and we think we want to start a family.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful news,” Rose says, clapping her hands excitedly.
“As you know, I don’t have the correct plumbing to carry a baby,” Slim says, smiling. “Trust me, we’ve tried.”
My lip fights to pull up and join Slim’s smile and Rose’s giggle. I fight that fucker back into submission.
“We were thinking that maybe you two would consider letting Rose carry for us,” Hawk says.
“After you have this baby and get all healed up first, of course,” Slim adds, pointing to Rose’s swollen belly.
“I’m sorry, what?” Bear says? “Letting Rose carry what for you?”
I see Slim’s throat move with his nervous swallow. He leans further into Hawk to avoid Bear’s glare.
“Our baby,” Hawk answers. “We were wondering if you two would agree to have Rose be our surrogate and carry our baby.”
The room grows eerily quiet. I now understand why Slim asked me to stay. There’s a good chance Prez might jump over the table and murder his twin.
“You want to put your come into my wife?” Bear growls. “Not fucking happening, brother. You know I would do absolutely anything for you. I would give my life for you. But no fucking way are you sticking your dick, or come, anywhere near my pregnant wife.”
Slim looks dejected, but Rose laughs.
“Gosh, you sound crazy sometimes, Bear,” Rose says through her laughter. “That’s not how it works, and you know it. You go through artificial insemination,” she turns to look at Hawk and Slim. “I assume you would want to use Hawk’s man juice?”
Hawk smirks. “We figured if you both agreed to it than my ‘man juice’ would be the best option for Bear. He’s so possessive of you. We figured as long as his DNA was at least part of the creation you grow for us, it would make it easier for him.”
“And, I wouldn’t have to die,” Slim adds.
“Well, I think it’s a wonderful idea,” Rose says with a wide smile. “And I would absolutely love to be your surrogate. Did you want to use one of my eggs, or do you have someone else in mind?”
“Wait a fucking second, sweet Rose,” Bear grumbles. “Those eggs are my future babies. Not my brothers.”
“Honey, I have thousands of eggs in my body,” Rose says. “We will never have that many children.”
“Is that a challenge?”
“Ignore him,” she says, turning back to the men across the table. “He knows it’s a good idea.”
“My wife is pregnant, brother,” Bear glares at Hawk. “She isn’t going to even consider this until she has my baby.”
“We didn’t expect it to happen for a long while, Prez,” Slim says. “It’s just a conversation to see if you guys would even be on board or if we needed to look elsewhere.”
Bear doesn’t say anything as he stares down Hawk and Slim. He finally looks at Rose.
“Everything in me is screaming to punch my idiot twin in the face,” he tells Rose. “But I also agree with Hawk. If you decide to do this, because it is ultimately your decision, baby, then it will have to be my brother’s donation.” Bear nods toward Hawk. “Because I can’t handle the thought of anyone else having their come in your body. I’m barely holding it together knowing that my brothers will be.”
Rose leans up and kisses Bear’s cheek.
“What do you think, Trigger?” Rose asks me.
I’m not at all surprised that Rose is pulling me into a conversation I want no part in.
“Well, I do like babies,” I admit.
Rose giggles and nods her head.
“We’ll do this,” she says to Hawk and Slim. “Because it feels like the right thing to do. Once I have this baby,” Rose rubs her growing belly. “I’ll get healed up, and then, if you’re ready, we’ll start the process.”
“Thank you so much,” Slim’s voice breaks. “It means so much to me knowing that our baby will have a special bond with you two.”
Hawk wipes a stray tear from his man’s face and leans down to kiss him.
Bear walks over and pulls Slim into a hug. “I wouldn’t allow this for anyone else except you two,” he says. “I can’t wait for the day when your baby grows in my woman’s body.”
With Slim still in his arm, he reaches his other hand to Hawk’s neck and pulls his forehead against his own.
“I fucking love you, brother,” Hawk says. “You and Rose both.”
Fucking saps. The lot of them.
“I’m out,” I say, turning to leave.
I don’t look back to see if anyone even acknowledged that I was still in the room. I need to get out of here before these fuckers make me feel something.
Chapter Two
Thea
I love my job. I wake up every day and rush through my morning routine so that I can come to work. It’s the best job in the whole world. I manage Lebanon’s very own bookstore, The Book Bin.
Okay, so it’s not as exciting as being a firefighter or an astronaut, but it’s still the best job in the world. I get to be around books all day long. My favorite days are Wednesdays. That’s when a new shipment of books arrives.
Which happens to be today.
“I hear that we have adventures from three new authors coming today,” Ted, my boss, and owner of The Book Bin says. “And I believe two of the three are those trashy romance novels that you love so much.”
Ted is always making fun of my romance obsession. He says romance is dead, and the only way to find it is between the pages of a book.
I think he’s wrong. Romance is very much alive, and I know one day I’m going to find a guy who will fall instantly in love with me. All of me. Including my insane number of curves.
He might not look like the guys described in my favorite romance novels, because men like that don’t even glance at girls like me, but he’s going to love me, and I’m going to love him.
“You’re day-dreaming again, young lady,” Ted says, interrupting my fantasy. “One of these days, you’re going to fall into that dream world of yours, and I’m never going to get you to come back.”
“You’re not wrong,” I agree. “My hope is that one day I’ll be swept off my feet in a fit of instant love and dashed away to my happily ever after.”
“You’re not married or gay,” I remind him.
“I revoke my statement,” he says. “I meant married, gay, or old.”
“You’re so ornery,” I say, handing him the book he’s been reading. “You’re not married, gay or old. Now, go back home and read this book.”
“Let the workers unload their truck,” he says, taking the book and heading for the door. “We’ll put everything away tomorrow.”
He pauses before opening the door.
“I’m glad you still believe in romance, Little Bit, I don’t want you to reach my age without knowing love. It can turn your heart bitter. Don’t you ever stop believing.”
Before I have a chance to respond, he leaves the building.
I’ll never stop believing in love. I hope that love finds me and easily slides itself into my life. But, even if it gives me a run for my money, I’ll fight with everything I have to hold on to it because the man who is meant to be mine will be worth it.
Call me a hopeless romantic if you want. But my heart is reaching for my forever. I’m just waiting for someone to reach back.
Two hours later, the truck drops off our weekly delivery. I know Ted told me to wait until tomorrow to start shelving everything, but I’m way too excited to get my hands on a couple of those new books.
As I’m ringing up my new purchases, the mailman walks through the door.
“Morning, Miss Thea. Anything interesting today?” He asks.
“Good morning, Charlie,” I smile. “There are a few hopefuls. I’ll let you know in a couple of days how they turn out.”
“Make sure you do. You know how the wife is always drowning me in questions every Wednesday.”
I laugh, knowing it’s true. Deborah, Charlie’s wife, is my number one customer. She buys enough books to keep the lights on in this place. I may or may not be part of that list, as well.
“I wouldn’t dare leave her waiting,” I say. “Is she enjoying the books she bought last week?”
“She finished those days ago,” he chuckles. “Now, she’s thinking about getting one of those e-readers, so she has thousands of books at hand whenever she wants.”
