by Abra Ebner
I laughed.
“But they don’t often do what I’m doing now, Either. For the most part they hate the human race. For a lot of them, they have no idea what age they are because they refuse to classify their age in human years.”
I tilted my head. “But weren’t all angels human once? So why do some hate us?” We were back in town now, and nearing the school.
Max laughed. “Hypocrites, aren’t they? There’s no real reason. They just figure they’ve earned the right to act superior. It’s a lot like the wealthy apposed to the poor.”
I giggled in return. “Yeah. We get a lot of that here.”
He shrugged. “I guess perhaps they’re jealous. They want to be human again, especially when the choice was stolen from them.”
I looked out the window at the dreary clouds in the sky. “Why don’t you resent humans?”
Max was silent for a moment, but there was a light in his eye that told me he was thinking of something pleasant. “Because. When I’m around them, I feel alive again. I don’t want to distance myself from humans because I’m afraid I’ll forget about my life before, as many of the elders have. When you live that long, you simply forget. Choosing to become a guardian was my way of holding on.”
“Holding on? To what exactly?”
He smiled and clasped my wrist. His fingers pressed gently, finding my pulse. “The feeling of life beats through you. I feel every pound of your heart because of my special connection with you—because of my drive to protect you. It’s a feeling so sublime, but to you, it just is. The blood in your veins thrives in this world—I thrive on your blood because it keeps me grounded here.”
Looking into Max’s eyes, I could see the way he longed for life. I felt bad for him. Max had been placed in his position without a choice. No part of him was ready to leave. In all reality, he had done me a favor. Max had given me a second chance—a choice. I could die now and move on, but if I’d died with my father, I would have been left wanting—if not right away, then in time. Max gave me something he never had the chance to hold onto—life.
The realization washed over me, and I was overcome by sudden emotion. Tears began to fill my eyes.
Max touched my chin. “Jane, what’s wrong?”
I shook my head, knowing that if I spoke, the crying would be impossible to subdue.
Thank you, Max.
I let my thoughts say it for me, knowing he was in there.
You gave me something—a choice you never had. I get it now.
“You don’t know how much it means to hear you say that, Jane. I’ve felt so guilty…” his voice was a whisper.
I got my tears under control. “Release your guilt, Max. I’m here now. What’s done is done, and it’s time to move on. You’re important to me in a way I feel like I’ve known all along. I was so scared about the strong connection I felt toward you, since the first day I saw you in the hall. It makes sense now, and I know that you and I are bound by more than just what you did to save me.” Max’s blue eyes suddenly seemed more familiar than even Wes’s. Max was the best friend, the best—whatever—I’d ever had.
“No matter what life, I feel like I would have eventually known you, Max. You are the key to all the things that I’ve been missing.”
I saw the dimple on his cheek threaten to make an appearance. I could tell the things I was saying were things Max had been waiting to hear since the day he saved me. He probably felt then what I did now. It was an inkling—a taste on the tip of my tongue. Max knew that there was something about me that he needed to know, but time had been stolen from the situation.
“You belong in this life, Jane. I’m not sure just why, but you are meant for great things aside from what I feel for you. There’s electricity that surrounds you, far stronger than anything I’ve seen before. Something is destined for you, and it’s not just me. Your father must have known this. A part of me even wonders if you already didn’t have magick, even before you became a Seoul.”
The mention of my father made me tighten. “What happened that day, Max?”
The dimple on his face faded. “I know I told you why I saved you, at least initially, but there was more. Your father wanted me save you. Your father asked me to save you. And though I’d already decided to long before his wishes, hearing him say it sealed my decision. The look on his face told me that there was more behind my connection with you—there was a mission.”
“My father spoke to you?”
“He did. They were his last words. I was able to grasp you before you crossed over, but I had to sacrifice saving him in turn.” There was something personal about the way he’d said it.
“Why did Greg try to kill him?”
Max looked away from me. “I knew your father before the accident, Jane. Greg knew him, too. Your father lived a secret life aside from his family. He led the Priory against the division of the human and magickal world. Your father wanted peace. In Greg’s eyes, he had to die.”
“You knew my father?”
“I did. But I didn’t know about you, or your sister. He kept you all safe by keeping his human life a secret, just as his magickal life was a secret from you.”
“So, you were like—”
“Colleagues—friends,” he interrupted. “I respected your father.”
I saw the loss in his eyes. They had been friends. My world was suddenly blown apart, all over again.
“His wishes were kept, and I am honored to be the guardian of John’s child.”
The way he said it—John’s child—it showed his age. I no longer saw the cool and collected teen from Denver, but a web of history and fate. The fact that Max was old in spirit did not bother me, and in fact, it gave me a sense of security in knowing I was never alone—my father had made sure of that. I suddenly felt as though my father had never left my side. I was safe in his arms—in Max’s arms.
“You should probably get back to class.” He was eyeing the front doors of the school.
My head was swimming with the things he had told me, but he was right. I was yet again left with more questions than answers, but right now was hardly the time to ask. A part of my conscience was telling me I needed to get back to class, but it was also screaming for time to think. I put my hand on the handle of the door and clicked it open. “Aren’t you coming?” I asked.
Max pouted. “I have math class right now, and I hate math.”
A roar of laughter passed my lips. “I get it. Now that your secret is out you’re going to bail on me, aren’t you? You’re going to leave me all alone in there. You only went to school for the purpose of finding me.”
He glared. “That’s not entirely true. A part of me was going because I never finished my senior year to begin with, and I thought it might be nice.” He winked.
“Then why are you skipping? You’ll fail and they’ll refuse to let you graduate.”
He laughed. “At least I can say I tried. Besides, you think I care about my GPA? I don’t really have to be there either. I can cheat like Emily does.”
“Emily cheats?” It made sense. “Figures.”
Max laughed. “You’re a goody-goody who never likes to skip class. I, on the other hand, resent school as much as the next kid does and I’ll do the minimum necessary to get by. I can allow myself the occasional skip. Besides, I’m trying to fit in. I’m seventeen, remember? Technically, the law makes me go. I can’t hang out with you on weekends and expect that someone won’t notice I’m not going to school.” He thought for a moment. “Maybe I’ll just transfer into all your classes, that way I can study something worth learning about—like you.”
Max reached for me one last time, taking my hand as he hooked his other behind my head. He pulled me into him, kissing my forehead. When he pulled away, and my hand slipped out of his, I was surprised when I felt something was left in my grasp. I looked down, curling my fingers open to reveal the small white origami dove he’d left behind.
I blushed, unable to think of a reply.
Emily:
I walked up the front porch and into the house.
“Emily, what are you doing home so soon after school?” Mother said this to me as though it were a miracle. A feeling of astonishment beamed from her mind, her thoughts all jumbled and confused, as though it were so shocking to see me acting like a compliant teen.
“Leave me alone, Mother.” I threw my pink bag by the shoes in the front hall, walking past her without as much as a glance. I traipsed up the stairs.
She said nothing in my wake—that is, at least nothing out loud—and I liked it that way. I hadn’t medicinally diluted my clairvoyance in the past few days because of my blinded love for Wes. But I was back, and the first thing I wanted was a healthy dose of Vicoden.
My little trip down the lane of normal was short and sweet, but it was time I stopped kidding myself. I knew Jane only saw me as a failure, and likely someone that would end up in all the wrong relationships, so why disappoint her now? I knew what she thought of me, and that was never going to change.
I went into my room and straight to the bathroom where I reached to the back of my drawer, finding one of many bottles. I popped the lid and fished inside. It was the bottle I’d gotten from Greg, filled with red and the white pills. I knew the white ones were Vicoden, but every time I took the red ones, I found they worked a lot better to numb my freakish abilities.
I grappled one out of the jar and threw it in my mouth. I swallowed, then pumped some face wash into my hand and turned the water on warm. I began to suds the soap and apply it to my face, wanting to wash away the light fluffy pink makeup that I associated with the normal. I needed to turn back into the dramatic, troubled self I always was, because that was me. I turned the water off with my face dripping. Reaching for the towel ring, I was surprised to find the towel that was there a moment ago was gone.
“Here,” a deep voice echoed in the bathroom and a towel touched my hand.
I jerked back and yelped, opening my eyes and ignoring the residual soap that stung my vision. I wiped my face with my hand, backing against counter. Bottles toppled to the floor as I tried to balance myself. Greg smiled.
“How did you get in here?” I hissed. My heart was pumping and my voice low, afraid my mother would hear.
He raised one brow. “I have my ways.” He tossed me the towel and I caught it. “And your mother didn’t hear.”
I wiped my face, never breaking my gaze, “Whatever.” Shaking my head, I found I was too depressed to care. First he had shown up in the yard, and now the bathroom. So what? It was his thing and I was in no position to judge. His thoughts weren’t screaming, and a part of me wondered what had changed. All the voices I’d heard were now replaced with a series of concise and organized bullet points.
Greg laughed. “You’re funny. Not many people are as confident around me as you are.” He leaned against the counter, lifting an eyeliner pencil and inspecting it with arbitrary fascination.
I snatched it from him hand, leaning close to the mirror and hastily applying a deep, thick line above and below both eyes. “You’re just another loser like me, so why shouldn’t I act with confidence?” I said bravely.
His brows shot up in his reflection. “And you’re just another freak, so we’re even.” He watched me, mildly intrigued.
I glared at him with my now darkened eyes, back to the way they’d always been. I grabbed the tube of black mascara, loading the brush and fanning my lashes.
I sighed. “Let me guess, you can read my thoughts, right? No lack of people like that it seems.” For the first time, it didn’t surprise me to think that was a normal occurrence.
“How did you guess?” He was mocking me.
I snorted.
Greg laughed again. “We should team up, you and I. I think we’d really make a killing.”
I finished applying my makeup, assuming a comfortable pose with my hand on my hip. “Sorry, Greg, but I think my trust in human nature is about tapped out. Find a girlfriend somewhere else.”
He chuckled to himself. “Oh come on, Emily.” He stood and took a step toward me. “You can’t resist me. You love me, right?”
I saw his eyes waver, enticing me. He was handsome, I knew that. My impulse to hate him faded, replaced with a tingling feeling of desire, and even lust.
“I know you crave revenge, Emily. So, why not join me?” He brushed the hair from my face, pressing me against the counter. I felt his hips against mine, the power of his body overwhelming.
His cold nose grazed my cheek, and I longed to taste his lips, to devour the sweetness of his kiss.
“See? You do love me after all,” he whispered. “I knew you would.” He traced the back of his hand across my cheek and into my hair. “We’re the perfect pair, don’t you think, Emily? A match made in Heaven.” He smirked.
The more he kept talking, the more I believed him. His mouth was so close that I could taste his icy breath. My lip trembled and my thoughts were clouded. I leaned into him, closing my eyes as my lips melted into his. His hands clamped around my hips, and I began to forget who I was.
All my problems fell away as I was drawn into his world. Being with him was better than any drug. Being with him kept my thoughts clear. He lifted me off the ground and sat me on the counter, wrapping either knee around his sides as his lips kissed every inch of my face.
The Emily I was was gone now.
I liked it that way.
Wes:
I stopped by a tree to rest as the rain began to fall. My fur was matted against my back, the steam from my breath filling the air as I panted.
I liked it this way. I liked to run, to feel that I was someone else for a change—someone savage. The blood from the jack rabbit coated the fur on my front paws, and I began to lick it off. The metallic sweetness was delicious, far more appetizing than anything I’d ever had before. I felt satisfied—my life as a human so distant, that I no longer cared.
I began to wonder if this kill of mine was the way it tasted for every animal. As a horse, would I enjoy grass? As a monkey, perhaps a banana?
I laughed, but it came out as a series of pants and whines. I lay back against the wood of the tree, rain dripping on my head. It didn’t seem to bother me the way I would expect. I licked the rain as it ran down my jowls, enjoying the freshness of it on my hot tongue.
I found I couldn’t stop chuckling, my whole body shaking. The next moment I was much smaller, the rain now cooling against my glistening skin. My laughing changed dramatically, this time coming out as a croak.
I leapt forward and over a branch—I loved this. Why did I need Jane or Emily at all? I was a lone wolf, a lone stallion, or whatever I wanted to be. I never needed to go home if I didn’t want to.
The sound of the forest filled my ears like an orchestra of life. The rain on the fall leaves making a papery thud. The dreariness I always felt didn’t creep in as it always used to—not here.
A beetle struggled to get over a fallen leaf and it caught my attention. After my initial confusion, my question from earlier was finally answered. In a flash, I reached my tongue out and snatched the beetle. It flung back and into my mouth, the crunch of the shell delightful as the beetle juice spread across my tongue.
Amazing!
I backed myself into a nook where two roots dug into the ground, allowing my eyes to close, my belly full. My human thoughts continued to tumble away from me. I didn’t need anyone anymore. All I needed was this.
Jane:
Someone grabbed my arm, a foreseen image of death pulsing through my head. I jumped, dropping my books to the ground. I winced as one hit my toe, turning and exhaling. It was Liz.
Her lashes fluttered. “Hey, girl! Haven’t seen you since Saturday, and being that it’s Thursday—that’s like—that’s like, five days. Where have you been hiding?” I noticed the hall was already empty, indicating she had deemed it acceptable to talk to me.
I knelt and picked the books up off the ground, continuing to organize them into m
y cramped locker. I tucked them in one at a time, careful not to ruin the two origami doves I’d hung there. “I’ve just been tired, is all.” My voice sounded strained. Her death today was back to skin cancer, her newly bronzed skin glowing under the otherwise brutally washed out lights of the hallway.
She nudged me. “You little liar. I bet Max keeps you up late at night,” she whispered, winking at me.
I snorted and rolled my eyes. “Liz, really.” I’d been keeping myself up at night, But not because Max had done so. I was unable to process the gravity of what was happening. I couldn’t decide if I’d felt liberated or trapped by the fact my new boyfriend was bound to me for the rest of my life.
She slouched against the lockers in disappointment. “Yeah, what was I thinking? You’re not really the sexual type.” Her eyes lit up, a mischievous grin on her face. “You should try to be sexier. Come on, I’ll help you. Men like that, and let’s face it, if you don’t change this dreary look you seem to be owning…” she glanced with disgust at my pilled-out long sleeved shirt and faded jeans, “…he’ll leave you. Don’t you know how that works?” She looked genuinely concerned.
I shut my locker and leaned against it, mimicking her stance. “Liz, he’s not like that. He won’t leave me. Besides, we haven’t even decided that we’re dating yet. We’ve just hung out a few times. That’s all.”
Unless you count the kiss. And I guess all the couple talk.
Liz looked confused, as though it was inconceivable to be around a man like Max and not be wrapped up in a never-ending make-out session. She smiled then, and I saw the pity behind her eyes. She thought I was just being naïve—if only she knew.
Even if I wanted to tell Max to shove off and leave me alone, he still wouldn’t. He was supposed to be my angel. The idea itself made me shiver. This was moving rather fast.
She moved on to something new. “So, what is Emily doing with that Greg guy?” Her lips pressed together, her brows further perplexed. “I never would have thought they’d be the type to be attracted to each other. I must say, though, they are sort of cute. Much better fit than Wes was for—”
