by Abra Ebner
My body heated up despite how cold his was. His hands under my shirt helped to cool me. I liked the feeling, and I wanted more. I reached for the button of his jeans, but he stopped me, laughing in a nervous way.
“Wait,” he whispered into my ear, driving me mad.
I gave him a strange look. “Wait? Usually that would be my line.”
Pulling away, I saw his face also seemed nervous, his eyelids struggling to hide the telltale shake of emotion I was certain pulsed through him.
“I just… I’ve never done this before and… I want to wait.” He nipped at my bottom lip as I gaped at him.
“You’ve never done this? In one-hundred years, you’ve never done this?”
He shrugged, kissing my cheek. “I thought I told you. I never found someone. Besides, only in the last thirty years has it even become acceptable to do that before marriage.”
I laughed, but not in a way that would hurt his feelings. I wondered then why he was such a good kisser.
He was the one that laughed this time. “I’ve kissed someone before. I’m not that much of a prude.”
“Who?” I ventured.
He gave me no answer.
I sat up, straightening my top. “Well, then. I guess I can wait.” I chuckled uneasily. “But let me warn you,” I leaned close to his ear, regaining my confidence as my lips grazed his skin, “I’m not very good at waiting.”
He ran a shaky hand through my hair and smiled. “We really do have this all wrong, don’t we?” He was scanning my thoughts, seeing how everything was backwards and nothing was what I’d expected.
I touched his neck, noticing a small delicate chain peeking from under his shirt. “What’s that?” I hadn’t noticed it before, it’s weave so small, it was almost invisible.
He watched me, his eyes scanning mine. “That’s a story for another time, Jane.” He weaved his fingers into my hair. “I wasn’t finished kissing you yet.”
The chain dropped from my hand as he wrapped me in his arms, pulling us back against the pillows. As we kissed, enjoying every moment we had, his hands explored my body in a way that told me that next time, he’d know what to do.
* * *
The breath from Greg’s lungs was cold as it passed his lips, his brow creased. The branches below his feet were snapping as the weight of his body bore down on them. Greg was not about to give up. This simple setback would not deter him from his ultimate goal.
Something whizzed past his ear, almost silent if it wasn’t for the gentle brush of a feather. Greg halted and spun on his heel, his thoughts on failure momentarily buried.
Seeing nothing behind him, he looked back in the direction the object had gone. Something gleamed from a nearby tree. Greg squinted, recognizing the arrow. He laughed.
“Avery!” Greg yelled, amused by her presence.
Another whizzing sound alerted his senses, the feather of a second arrow brushing his other ear. It pierced the skin of a second tree. Greg made a sudden move to snatch a third arrow, catching the tail between his fingers as it flew by. He spun the shaft in his hand, taking note of the characteristic silver swirls that decorated the tip. His lip was curled.
“Avery, stop teasing!” He looked to the canopy above him, his sharp nocturnal eyes catching what little light the moon cast across the forest.
A branch rustled overhead, and Avery fell to the ground before him. Her knees bent with expert ease, accepting her weight. Avery slowly stood, adjusting the quiver on her back. Her silver-blue eyes never left his, her pale skin and long blonde hair glowing in the light of the moon.
Avery had a sassy grin on her face. “Long time no see, Greg.”
Greg stood his ground, finding trickery was already written across her face. He held the arrow toward her. “You missed.”
Avery laughed. “Missed?” She reached forward, touching Greg’s ear. When she drew back, his blood stained the tip of her finger. She wiped the blood on her silk tunic. “I never miss, dear Greg.”
“You didn’t kill me.” He challenged.
Avery grinned and looked at the ground. “Killing you would defeat my purpose.”
Greg lifted one brow. “Your purpose?”
Avery finally took her arrow from Greg’s still outstretched hand.
“Are you saying you’ve finally seen my side of things?”
Avery’s eyes met Greg’s. “Maybe I have.” Her lips were pursed, giving no tell to her intentions.
Greg put his hands on his hips. “Max won’t like that news.”
Avery laughed. “Max? You think I still care about him after what he did to me?”
Greg shrugged.
“Besides, the point is that Max doesn’t need to know.” She eyed Greg, telling him with the confidence of her pose that her plans were deceitful. What Greg couldn’t decide was to whom they would benefit—him or Max.
“So, you’re saying you want to trick him?”
Avery didn’t move. Her eyes locked on Greg.
“Have you even seen him since he’s been back, Avery?”
Avery looked down at her nails, inspecting their flawless beauty. “Unfortunately I have seen him, but only from a distance.” She rolled her eyes. “Seems Max has found a new pet. I wonder how long that will last.” She gave Greg a look of contempt.
Greg snorted. “He thinks he loves her.”
They both laughed for a moment.
Avery exhaled. “A Seoul? He loves a Seoul? Classic.”
“So, then your on my side,” Greg pressed again.
Avery smiled. “We need to get rid of that little brat. She’ll stain his honor, my honor.” Her face was solid.
Greg laughed. “Jealous are we?”
Avery glared, a pinkish hue lighting her cheeks.
He nodded. “Finally, someone get’s it.”
* * *
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About The Author
Abra Ebner lives in Washington State with her husband and two cats. She writes everyday, unable to find anything else that brings her as much joy, other than love.
Her travels to England, Scotland, Switzerland and Germany, as well as her studies abroad in Australia have granted her a life full of wonder and excitement. She graduated from Washington State University with a degree in Fine Art.
Special Thanks
Kenny and Amber
Brenda
Heather
Tessa
Mom
Dad
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My Husband Erik
* * *
The Feather Book Series
Book One
Feather
Preface
The Gods once created a being far greater than anything in existence. These beings, the highest form of human life, were closer to the Gods than even the Angels, and their beauty far more appealing than any earthly creation.
The Gods, upon seeing such a beautiful creation, grew jealous. The being needed no love, longed for no power, and hungered for no nourishment of either mind or soul. Their flawless creation was angelically perfect, and therefore appallingly wrong, for nothing could be more perfect than the Gods themselves.
As the being flourished, troubled by nothing, the Gods grew dark and vindictive. Fueled by their hatred, they plotted, and the plan they constructed was horrid, inhumane, and dark. They chose to split the perfect soul for eternity, fore the Gods thought themselves ultimately endangered by their creations’ power and strength. In one swift movement, they ripped the being apart, creating two hearts; both sharing one soul.
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br /> One half was the creator, the life and energy of the Earth, and the mother of man. The other half was the power and protection, a warrior of worlds. In this, they created Male and Female.
As the Gods schemed in their eternal greed, they chose to make their creation a game, no more than mere pawns for their enjoyment. As punishment, they scattered the beings among the humans of Earth, both halves separated and eternally locked in hunger and longing for the love of their shared soul.
The female half was the holder of their life, the emotion and beauty of the soul. In her, she protected this delicate power, never abusing its energy, and forever giving to the Earth and nature. Despite her possessions, she was lonely and lost in love - weak, sad, and alone.
The male half, the powerful half, was left lifeless and drained of the energy only the soul could give him. In the male’s life on Earth, he searched for his strength, the female, and the power he could ultimately gain from it. Their lethal lust for that soul was so great, that it drove them into madness, anger, and despair.
Upon meeting their soul mate, the male half was found hungry and vicious, murdering his other half in his greed, and ultimately leading to their demise. But despite their vicious love, many survived long enough to understand their power, and in finding each other, they unlocked the secret to their lives.
Together, the two halves created a whole, a life force greater and more powerful than anything on Earth. Though eternally tormented by jealously and hunger, they were better together than apart, the ultimate test of eternal love.
A New Day
“Estella, take this.”
Heidi thrust a thick envelope toward me as tears of sadness filled her eyes. Her hand was trembling and weak as it floated in the air between us.
I looked at the envelope with caution.
“Oh, no!” I shook my head, my face contorted into a sad frown. “Heidi, no, I couldn’t.” I squeezed my eyes shut, unable and unwilling to accept the gift.
“Please, Estella.” She paused, her voice breaking. “I just want to see you happy. I am old and tired. My life is ending and yours is just beginning.”
Heidi walked toward me with a determined look on her face. The envelope was still stubbornly held out in front of her. Her eyes pierced mine, and I could see she loved me like her own.
I grabbed the small, manila package between my trembling fingers, treating it with delicate care. The contents were beyond what I could ever deserve, but the needs reflected in Heidi’s eyes ran deep, and I found myself unable to say no.
“Thank you.” I looked at the ground as a familiar sadness pierced my heart.
Heidi leaned in and hugged me, her thin arms squeezing the breath from my lungs.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t have been more of a mother to you,” she whispered, her breath hot as it fell across my ear. She sounded responsible, as though the fact of my absent parents was her fault.
She was crying now, and I felt her tears seeping into the shoulder of my blouse.
“Heidi, you are the closest thing to a mother I’ve ever known. Don’t think any less of yourself.” I put my arm around her frail shoulders as she trembled against my chest, the guilt in me rising as I forced back my desire to stay, to save her from her lonely life.
She pulled away, a determined look now filling her tear-stained face. She was strong, I knew this, but she hated to say goodbye.
“You go, make me proud,” she said bravely. “And find your happiness.” Heidi patted both of my shoulders with surprising strength, her nails digging into my skin.
“I promise I will come back as soon as I can.” I tried to smile as I bent to pick up my last bag, but try as I might, I couldn’t summon the action.
Heidi followed me to the car in her housecoat and slippers as I threw the last bag in the back seat of the old, rusty, green Datsun. I was finally able to afford the car after my summer working at the Market downtown. I did everything I could to scrape enough money together, to make my escape from the city.
Heidi’s eyes had dried and I looked at her with nostalgic love and admiration as I climbed into the car. The old vinyl seats yawned against my sweaty skin, and I winced at their searing heat. I squeaked the door shut, slamming it with as much force as I could muster before putting my hands on the plastic wood grain steering wheel. She waved to me with hopeless vigor as I coaxed the vehicle to life and forced it into reverse.
“I will visit soon!” I yelled out the window as I drove off. “The college is not too far.”
Heidi took a small step forward as she waved goodbye one last time. I would miss my foster mother, but this was my time to make something of my sad life. The upbringing she had given me was more than I could have hoped for, but something inside me was driving me away, pushing me to another place.
As I drove down the crowded streets, the shadows cast by the towering buildings of downtown Seattle always left me somewhat disappointed. The tiny house where I had been placed when I was ten glared at me in my rearview mirror as it disappeared between the apartment complexes of the west side.
I took a deep breath, exhaling with a heavy heart. I had decided the city was not for me. After years of adoption and rejection, I couldn’t stand its cold cement and moist, dirty air any longer. Why the city had let me down I was unsure, but as the depression in me grew deeper over the years, it had become a sort of cancer. There was death here, and everyone took their happiness for granted. I would have given anything to feel a smile, to muster out a happy laugh.
I rolled my windows up, closing out this world as I headed north toward the Cascades. As the hills of Seattle whizzed by, each growing less crowded with houses, I felt a sort of liberation. The stern grip I’d had on the steering wheel slowly eased, and soon I was casually driving with one hand. My lonely life had never granted me the experience that was ahead of me, the chance to be with nature as my heart had so longed.
The college brochure had promised a tranquil and secluded experience, and that was just the thing I was hoping my dark heart needed. College had always been a goal for me, and despite my graduation from high school with a bachelor’s degree that I had earned taking night courses, it still didn’t satisfy my insatiable need to learn.
The sun shone onto the serene valleys of northern Puget Sound, filling the basin with energy and warmth. As I crept further north, the dense forest began to creep ever closer to the road. Like always, I felt a strange pull from the plants that sat there, each bowing toward the concrete as though longing to escape to the other side. The cement was like a wall, much like the invisible wall in my heart that was refusing to allow me happiness. Despite the confines of the road, I still envied their freedom. They had a life of simple happiness, and the ability to adapt and grow. I, on the other hand, had never belonged, and despite how hard I tried, I always stood out in a negative way. The world hopelessly saddened me, as though somewhere in my past life, it had let me down, my soul now darkened by my mere existence. I felt like a mistake, and I felt like God had forgotten me, as though he were too ashamed to grant me a fair life.
I reached into my bag as I drove, retrieving a bottle of medication that seemed like my only lifeline. Keeping one hand on the wheel, I popped a small pill into my mouth, as I habitually did every day for the past twelve years. Each clouded thought was further stifled by the power of Prozac. I allowed myself a brief second to close my eyes as I once again opened my windows, so that the wind could whip through my white-blonde hair. As the sun touched my pale skin, it felt warm and soothing, like a bath of heavenly light. Opening my eyes, I felt discouraged that even a moment like this could not muster a smile.
Even as a baby I had never laughed, never let out even so much as a delighted coo. Smiling was something I did because I had to, in order to fit in. I learned what was funny from my peers, and practiced for hours in front of the mirror, my facial muscles stretching with pain in a way that came so naturally to everyone else. Tears never came, either. Though I knew what I felt was sadness,
I never experienced that emotion in the true sense of the feeling. It was as though someone had taken my heart and stashed it away, someplace I could never find it.
I thought about all my adoptive parents and how many times each tried to create a happy life for me, how relentlessly they urged me into activities designed to muster a laugh, though one never came. I was like a poisonous berry, beautiful on the outside, damaged and sick on the inside. It was an inevitable truth that each parent would fail, and so they sent me back to the social workers, apologizing for their failure as parents. After a while, I gave up hoping that I could find a place to fit in, hoping instead that I could just be in one place for longer than a few months. It was that fact that I moved in with Heidi and her other foster kids, and for what I planned to be forever – or at least until I was old enough to strike out on my own.
I exhaled from deep within my charred soul as I finally reached the town of Sedro-Woolly. There, the road split and I turned onto Highway Twenty, heading east into the North Cascades. The small town of Sedro-Woolly was far north, close to the Canadian border and the San Juan Islands. It was just far enough from Seattle to make me feel like I could leave the past behind me and start anew. The town was the gateway to my future, a new life.
As I headed into the wilderness, the trees that edged the roadside seemed to welcome my presence, the branches swaying in the gentle breeze. The air seemed full of magic, and I saw the glimmer of bugs flying between thick rays of light, like fairies in the trees. With my windows opened, the gentle clamoring of water softly whispered in my ear as I passed spring after spring, cascading down the granite rocks and into the roadside reservoirs.
