by Zoe Norman
“Baby, you need to wear nice pants. Wear the blue button-down with your khakis.”
He acquiesces and slips the pants on. I watch as he buttons his shirt and tucks it in. He is so blessedly hot when he’s dressed up. I mean, he’s hot when he’s dressed like a sexy, dirty firefighter, but I love having both sides of this coin.
Next, he dabs on cologne. Mmmm, I can smell it from here. It’s amazing how a scent can so viscerally spark a memory. The smell of his cologne feels like him wrapping himself around me. It’s very comforting.
He looks up, noticing me staring. “Enjoying the view, beautiful?” He smirks.
“Very much, thank you,” I call back, giving him a mischievous grin.
We finish getting ready, but before we head out for the evening, we stop by Mimi’s room to check in on her. She assures us that she’s content to relax in her room for the night. Room service has been ordered and she has her eye on a pay-per-view. She wishes us a good night and scoots us out the door, instructing us to send Travis and Lucy her best.
The rehearsal dinner is held in a private room at The Wild Ginger, a well-known Asian restaurant in the heart of downtown Seattle. The room is filled with twenty or so people all mingling and laughing. There’s a short line of people congratulating Travis and Lucy on their upcoming nuptials, and I spot Marc and Charley in the corner. Not knowing I’ve spotted them, Owen points them out to me, and I smile wide, thankful to see a familiar face in the crowd.
We say a quick hello to Travis and Lucy, who are happy to see us.
“Dude! How was your flight? Probably not as good as the last time you came out to Seattle, huh?” Travis says, giving Owen a nudge.
He possessively wraps his arm around my waist and says, “It was better.”
I bump him with my hip and stifle a laugh. My God, he’s embarrassing, telling him about our mile high adventures. Luckily they seem unaffected as Travis looks at Lucy, both of them shrugging their shoulders.
“I know you’re meeting and greeting, but we just wanted to say hello. We’ll catch up with you a little later.” Owen says.
“Yeah, this is brutal, let me tell you.” Travis frowns.
That response elicits a slap on the arm from Lucy, but they return to their other guests while we make our way towards Marc and Charley.
I am so excited to see Marc and Charley—particularly Marc and Charley ‘the couple.’ Since we left Seattle, they have been spending more and more time together, and just recently, they both admitted to having been exclusive for the last several months. Charley is like a different human being. After years of one-night stands and heartbreaks, seeing her this happy is so amazing. And it’s with Owen’s best friend to boot!
I hug them both and talk to them a bit about our trip. We have been trying to find a way for them to come visit us, which has been difficult due to our schedules, but we keep trying. Marc chats about the network he’s on and Charley watches him speak, enraptured. He really is a gorgeous man, his mocha skin luminous and his light eyes the kind you can get lost in.
Owen stands next to me and lightly places his hand on the small of my back. “Everyone is sitting down, baby. We should go find our seats.”
Dinner is fun and relaxed. We missed the actual rehearsal today, but it was videotaped on Marc’s iPhone, so Owen was able to watch where he’ll be tomorrow during the ceremony. It really is a piece of cake. Since he’s the best man, he’ll just be walking with Trav anyway.
When dinner is over, we all decide to go to Room 73 for drinks and some dancing. I’ve gotten a chance to really sit and talk to Lucy, I like her a lot. She is so sweet and so in love with Travis. Watching their rehearsal video earlier, I felt a tinge of jealousy, which surprised me. Lucy looked so excited, and I couldn’t help but envision what it would feel like to be dressed in a beautiful gown and walk down the aisle to the man I love. My heart swells, and without thinking, I look over at Owen. He smiles at me and gives me a wink.
We walk to the club, Owen holding my hand. It doesn’t occur to me until we step up to the door that this is where Owen and I went dancing the weekend we were here. I blush, although no one can see me. We had sex in this club, and I walked out on him in this club. I shake my head. That was a long time ago. We understand each other better this time around. This is going to be an amazing night.
When we walk in, we make our way as a group to the bar.
“You want a mojito, baby?” Owen asks me.
“Yes!” I yell back into his ear.
The music is loud, but the beat is infectious, and I’m already finding myself moving to the music. Owen looks over at me, smiling and shaking his head. When the drinks are brought over to him, I take a sip and lean over.
“I’m going to go dance with Charley, okay?”
He nods his head and gives me a sweet kiss on the cheek. “Good. I’m dying to watch you shake your ass. Then I’m going to fuck you in that bathroom again.”
Surprised, I straighten back and slap him playfully on the arm. Horny little shit.
Charley and I make our way to the dance floor, and before I know it, we’re laughing and moving, getting lost in the music; our men reconnecting over drinks at the bar.
As we dance, I see Owen watching from the bar and chatting with Marc. They look serious at times as they lean toward each other, talking into each other’s ears. They look like they’re having a great time, and eventually, I see them slapping each other on the back, laughing hard.
Charley and I keep noticing the boys watching us dance, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say we were purposely putting on a little show for them. Hey, I may have chastised him for it, but I fully expect that, after another mojito or two, I’m going to want some action in the bathroom again.
After almost an hour of dancing and no hydration, Charley crooks her finger at me to get my attention and nods toward the bar area. It’s gotten so crowded here that we can barely see the guys, and as we look more closely, it seems they have moved to the other side of the bar, where plush, semi-private booths line the walls.
Charley pulls me in. “Let’s go get something to drink and see what the guys are doing!” she yells into my ear.
I nod enthusiastically and follow her toward the bar area. As we make our way to where the boys are gathered, I can tell that they’re deep in a conversation. Travis has also joined them. On this side of the bar, it’s not as loud, so I can actually hear people talking Even with less noise, it’s clear they aren’t aware that we’re coming.
Charley puts her finger to her lips. “Shhhh… Let's sneak up on them.”
We both giggle and crouch down like some kind of stealth FBI mission is going on. As we get closer, we stay glued to the bar and listen.
“Okay, enough with the bullshit. When are you going to settle down with Olivia? You guys are practically living together as it is. When are you going to marry that keeper?” Travis asks.
“Yeah! Trav and I have a bet that you’ll be the next one to bite the dust,” Marc pipes in.
“Guys. Seriously. You know me so much better than that. I’m not the marrying guy. Making a commitment to being with one person for the rest of my life freaks me the fuck out! I love Olivia a lot. I won’t deny that. But marriage? Mmm…I don’t think so.” Owen diverts his gaze and shakes his head as if it were the craziest thing he’s ever heard.
Charley and I are giggling...until we’re not. My heart sinks and I straighten my back. I blink, and I know I’m blushing even though it’s not noticeable in the dark. I look at Charley, who must have heard it too because she’s looking at me with that, Olivia, don’t run look in her eyes.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” I say loudly and turn on my heel, walking toward the restroom.
Tears prick my eyes as I make my way through the crowd. Fuck, fuck, fuck. The tears are coming. I need to get somewhere to hide out for a minute fast. Of course the one private bathroom that’s open is the one Owen and I made love—I mean fucked—in that fateful night. Jesus Ch
rist, can I just get one break here?
I slide into the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I sit on the chaise lounge, where the man I love more than anything had his way with me a year ago. Putting my head in my hands, I sob. Why does this bother me? Just because he loves me doesn’t mean he wants to marry me. Those are two very different things. And we’ve only been together for a year or so, so what makes me think that he’s even ready to make that commitment? I mean, Travis and Lucy have been together for, like, three years or something.
I’m not making myself feel any better. Why wouldn’t he want to marry me? What’s wrong with me? Am I just his fuck buddy? He asked me to move in with him. Maybe that was to shut me up? Make me happy so I wouldn’t want or ask for more? I barely have a toothbrush in his bathroom. Oh my God, he’s going to leave me. And there it is—alcoholic psychosis. Two mojitos in and I’m raving like a lunatic. I’m embarrassing myself.
I look around as if A) someone can hear my thoughts and B) someone is in the room with me. Yeah, you’ve lost it, Liv.
I grab a disposable paper cup from the wall dispenser and hurriedly drink two glasses of water. The bottom line—when I finish digging through all of my crazy thoughts—is that I’m hurt. I love him. I want him to want to marry me. And he doesn’t, and that hurts—a lot. I was wondering what that pang of jealousy was earlier, and now I know. Owen is my permanent future, and it looks like I’m not his. Jeez, that’s a painful pill to swallow.
“Ollivviaa…” I hear from the door. “Is my naughty girl ready for me? Open up, baby,” Owen says, knocking loudly.
I don’t respond, hoping he’ll just go away.
“Olivia?” he says again, this time more inquisitively. He won’t stop looking for me. It’s no use.
I unlock the door and peek my head out suspiciously. When I see him, I turn away and let him in. I move over to the sink and put my hands on the edge, my head down. He walks up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, kissing the back of my neck.
“Couldn’t wait for us to do this again, could you? God, I love you. You make me so fucking horny all the damn time.” He’s drunk, rubbing his erection firmly against my ass. “Why don’t you show me what you’ve got under there, baby? You know it drives me crazy,” he growls as he starts to lift up the hem of my dress.
Oh God. I can’t do this. I brush his hands away from the bottom of my dress and turn my neck so he doesn’t have easy access anymore.
“Actually, I don’t think this is a good idea. I’ve been in here awhile already. I should really go check on Charley.”
Owen’s inebriation has never stopped his ability to perform, so he’s hard as a rock. He isn’t going to be so easily sidetracked.
“What? Charley is fine. I left her with Marc. They’re probably doing the same thing in the bathroom next to us.” He forcefully grabs my hips and pulls me back against him, running his hands up the back of my thighs, trying to use his hands to part them as I’m bent over the sink.
No, no, no. I push back on him, which he could easily mistake as me pushing into his erection.
“Mmmm, yes, baby. Like that. Fuck. I always want you... Can’t get enough.”
I twist to pull out of his embrace and he almost falls face-first into the sink.
“What the...?” he says, shocked.
I walk toward the bathroom door as Owen straightens, looking completely confused.
“I’m actually not feeling so good. I think I’m going to take a taxi back. You can stay here with your friends. It’s okay.”
His face contorts and his brows draw together in confusion. I have never, in all the time I’ve known him, said no to sex with Owen. We’re always hungry for each other, always on the same page when it comes to wanting each other. It’s become a basic need for both of us.
He runs his fingers through his hair, looking lost and then pained as he adjusts himself in his pants. I move to the door and he follows me out into the club. I say goodbye to Travis and Lucy, smiling as best I can, but my smile fades when Owen moves toward me. When we make eye contact, I can tell that he is thoroughly confused. And maybe a little irritated. He says goodbye to his friends and trails behind me out to the street.
“I’m sorry about what happened in the bathroom,” he says as we start to walk back to the hotel. “I…I clearly misread you back there. One moment, you’re putting on a show for me on the dance floor, and the next, you’re distant.”
“I’m just not feeling well, Owen. It’s been a long day.” I rub my hands over my arms in an effort to keep warm.
He takes off his sport jacket and wraps it around my shoulders. I take it gratefully, giving him a nod, as we walk the rest of the way to the hotel in silence.
Walking through the hotel lobby to the elevator, there is an uncomfortable quietness between us. When we get onto the elevator, he places his hand on the small of my back and guides me in. It’s such a loving, comfortable gesture—one he’s done so many times, and tonight should be no different. In fact, if I hadn’t heard that comment at the club, right now, we’d be going at it in the bathroom.
When we get to our floor, he ushers me out of the elevator. We walk to the room, and as he opens the door for me, I hand him his sport jacket and make a beeline for the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I need some more alone time. I just want to get undressed, take my makeup off, and get in my pajamas. Sleep sounds like just what I need right now.
I quickly take off my makeup and brush out my hair. I find a T-shirt of Owen’s on the floor from earlier and unconsciously slip it over my head. I hate feeling like this. I’m angry and hurt. He has no idea why, and I don’t want to explain it. So we’re stuck in this limbo. He doesn’t deserve for me to not tell him what’s wrong, even if he is hurting me. He’s not a mind reader. But I’m irritated and bruised, and I just want to go to bed.
When I open the door to the bathroom, he is sitting on the bed, the covers pulled up just to his waist, his chest bare as he leans his back against the headboard. He’s waiting for me. And he’s gorgeous. I stop just outside the bathroom, trying to gather my wits. His sexiness is throwing off my anger. Suddenly, he looks over at me and his face contorts with confusion and then... Is that hurt on his face?
“What’s with the T-shirt, Olivia? What’s wrong, beautiful? Talk to me.”
I look down at what I’m wearing. It didn’t even occur to me that I’d put something on when I usually go to bed naked. Huh. I glance up at him but have a hard time looking him in the eye. It hurts too much. I’m sure I’m making a lot out of nothing, I’m good for that. But for right now, I’m feeling wounded and I just don’t want to explore it tonight.
I walk to the bed and climb under the covers, turning my back to him. “I’m fine. I told you. I just don’t feel well.”
I feel him slide down into the bed and curl up behind me. He reaches over my head and turns off the bedside lamp, wrapping one arm around my waist and pulling me to him. My ass rubs against… God, he’s still hard? I think the whole ‘men think with their penises’ thing may be misguided, because his penis doesn’t seem to get that I’m pissed.
He nuzzles my neck, kissing me lightly. It takes every ounce of my willpower not to respond to him. Thank God a woman’s arousal isn’t overtly obvious so he can’t tell that he’s affecting me.
“Baby...don’t you want to fool around a little? Hmmmm?” He kisses the spot on my neck that gets me every time, gliding his hand right up over my stomach below my T-shirt.
I place my hand on his to stop it from moving up farther. I’ve never said no to Owen before. It feels foreign.
“Baby, come on. What’s going on here? You always want to fool around.” He sounds perplexed and wounded himself.
“Owen, I’m just tired,” I say a little more harshly than intended. “Just let me go to sleep.” I shift away from him and close my eyes.
He sighs heavily and pulls his hand back from under my shirt. Placing it on my hip, he leans in, giving me a kiss on my hea
d. “All right, baby. Can I just cuddle with you then?” He sounds hopeful, but I’m exhausted and emotional and he still has a good buzz, which means his roaming hands won’t stop if he has them on me in any capacity.
“Owen…”
“Okay. Okay. I’ll leave you alone.” He rolls onto his back and shuts the lamp on his side of the bed off. “I love you, Olivia,” he says quietly.
Tears form and my throat tightens as I hold back the words—I can’t respond. I nod, but I’m sure he doesn’t see it because he turns over with a sad sigh.
My eyes flutter open as I wake up; the room flooded with sunlight. Crap—we forgot to close the drapes last night. I feel Owen behind me, rubbing his morning erection against my ass. My first instinct is to rub back. I hear him moan in approval, and then I remember last night and stop. It’s like someone has poured cold water over me.
I get out of bed, walk to the bathroom, and shut the door behind me. I feel awful because I know this is bothering him. I’m never mad at him, never deny him sex, never not sleep in his arms. I need to just tell him what I heard and why it upset me. It’s really only fair since I heard a small part of a longer conversation. Although the part I heard was pretty specific.
After going to the bathroom and brushing my teeth, I walk back out into the living room. Owen is making us coffee in the room’s coffee maker. He studies me and smiles his heart-stopping smile. He looks glorious with his tight boxers, his tan, muscular body, his bed-head hair, and those sparkling, blue eyes.
“Good morning, beautiful. Coffee?”
I give a halfhearted smile. “Yeah. That would be great,” I reply. It’s so awkward between us.
He wrinkles his brow, now looking concerned. “Baby, are you still not feel well? Are you okay? You’re worrying me.”
I look up at him—in the eyes this time. “Um, well, I don’t feel one hundred percent like myself. Maybe I just need a shower or a cup of coffee,” I say, nodding toward the cup he’s handing me.
“I can help you with the coffee, and it would be my pleasure to assist you with the shower later,” he says with a smile.
