Wes spent very little time thinking about his future and Mark thought of little else. Robert was more fortunate than either of his friends in one respect. He would one day inherit a title and a substantial fortune. In the meantime, he enjoyed his time with the Kellingtons, though he knew he would have to leave eventually.
It was a beautiful summer day when Robert was summoned to Ned’s study. “Did you wish to see me, sir?”
Ned looked up from the ledgers he had been studying. “Thank you for coming, Robert. It’s a much appreciated break from the tedium of the books.”
“If there is anything I can do to help, I would be happy to assist. I would like to do something to offset the costs of taking me in.” He had asked countless times to pay his way in the years he had been living with Ned’s family, but the man had been adamant in his refusal.
“You are my son in all ways except birth,” said Ned. “I could never take money from you. Besides, you have been an invaluable help in looking after the children.”
“I have fun with the children, sir.”
“They are wonderful, though louder than cannon fire at times. I have a request for you from Mr. Harris.” Mr. Harris was a neighbor who lived on a small estate in the village. “He was wondering if he might employ the stud services of Fidem.”
Robert had named his horse Fidem, from the Latin for faith. For Robert had begun to have more faith in himself following the incident at Tattersalls. And his magnificent horse seemed to have faith in him, as well, though Robert had never even ridden him. Fidem had been enjoying a peaceful, if dull, existence on the farm since Robert had come to live in Marston Vale. “I feel like I should ask Fidem’s permission, though I cannot imagine he would object to getting the, uh, needed exercise.”
Ned grinned. “Yes, I imagine it would break up the monotony of his days. He is a magnificent animal and incredibly gentle with the children.” While the children all kept a respectful distance from the stallion, the horse never hesitated to carefully take any proffered food from them. “Harris is offering to pay you.”
“I do not think I should charge for the services. It seems a bit too much like procuring for my taste.”
“That is your choice, of course. But consider it. Fidem has good bloodlines and Harris will do well on the deal. Who knows? Mayhap you could be the owner of a successful stud farm until you inherit your title.”
His title. Robert tried to think of that as little as possible. After leaving Ned to his books, Robert took a walk on the estate, considering his future. He liked living in the country and a stud farm could be in his future. It might help take his mind off the fact that a wife never would be.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Ridgeway House, London 1835, Two Years Later
Letty looked at the gown for her come-out and sighed. Again. She must have spent more than three hours staring at it in the last few days. It was not as if she disliked it. She thought it was quite beautiful and choosing the dress had been a highly organized campaign involving Ava, Win, Rose, Kate, Irene, Anna, Violet and the female members of the Kellington family. She was surprised by how much fun the entire process had been, especially since it involved having every part of her measured at least three times. She knew it would not have been bearable without the participation of her family and friends. And a celebratory glass of wine afterward.
She was staring at the dress in dismay not because she found fault with it, but because of what it represented. A come-out ball was supposed to be the transition from a girl to a young lady. It would mark her as officially on the marriage mart. Many young ladies married within a year of their debut. Indeed, if one were not married within four or five years – six or seven at the most – she was considered on the shelf, a virtual spinster, regardless of the fact gentlemen of that age would still have at least a decade in which to settle down.
Letty had already delayed her come-out for a year, so that she and Violet could have their debuts at the same time. Colin told her he had already received inquiries from colleagues in the House of Lords, hoping that his well-dowered sister might look favorably on some of the ton’s well-bred but poorer sons. It had only been a little more than a decade since Colin himself had been in search of a wealthy bride, though he had had the good sense to marry for love, instead. Because of that he’d made it perfectly clear to Letty that she should allow her heart to choose her mate and not be swayed by someone who was more interested in her fortune than herself.
Letty did not fear the fortune hunters. She was less naïve than most young ladies her age, since she had the good fortune to have brothers and sisters who did not shield her needlessly from the realities of the world. No, she wasn’t apprehensive about the fortune hunters. She simply worried about one gentleman in particular. And it wasn’t because he was pursuing her, but just the opposite. Robert Carmichael had resolved not to marry any woman, but Letty was determined to marry him just the same.
Anna entered the bedchamber they shared, despite the many available rooms in their London home. “Are you afraid the gown will disappear if you do not watch it?”
“I do not believe it will flee the house, though I cannot guarantee I shall remain. I wish you could come to the ball tonight. I do not know why we have to follow these old rules.”
“Because that is what proper English ladies do,” said Anna. “It is good that only part of me is English because I am not particularly fond of nonsensical rules. I will not be so very far away since I will be in the nursery playing with the children while the two of you are fighting off suitors.” After a lengthy discussion between Colin and the Duke of Lynwood, it was decided the ball would be held at Lynwood House, in part because Heskiss the butler would be heartbroken to miss it. “If either of you needs to discuss anything, you know where to find me.” She sat back and looked at the gown. “Robert will think you are most lovely in that. He will be right, of course.”
“I do not think Robert will notice me at all,” said Letty.
“He’ll try not to, but it will be a hopeless case. I believe he loves you, Letty. He just cannot allow himself to admit it.”
“I hope that is true. For I cannot imagine marrying anyone other than Robert. I can only hope this gown makes him give up his fears.”
“I am not certain any gown has that power,” said Anna. “But I do not doubt your chances in the least. Sooner or later, the two of you will end up together. I just know it.”
* * *
Letty had been in the receiving line for an hour and her eyes kept darting to where Robert was standing near Violet in the Kellington receiving line across the ballroom. He had greeted Letty and her family when they arrived but was then caught up in last-minute tasks before the guests were scheduled to arrive. She did not fault him for that, of course. But Letty still wished he would come to her side of the room if even for a few moments. In the meantime, she smiled and pretended to be pleased to meet everyone, even though her mind was hopelessly focused on the one man who was there but had no intention of dancing with her.
Fortunately, her spirits were raised when Wes arrived. She had not been sure if he would attend, knowing his parents were opposed to such a public display of their connection. While they had grudgingly accepted their friendship when it came to his visits to Letty’s home in the country, a debut ball was deemed too public of an occasion.
“You are beautiful, love,” he said as he bent over Letty’s hand. “I am glad this night has finally arrived and that you did not succeed in postponing it yet another year.”
“But then Violet and I could have made our debuts with Anna.”
“Anna will have plenty of support when she makes her debut. And how is Violet tonight?” He turned to look at her across the room.
“You could go ask her yourself,” said Letty, hoping her brother would show an interest in her friend.
“I am not sure I could get near her, surrounded as she is by Kellingtons.”
“Her father and uncles are very protective of
her.”
“Yes, completely unlike the carefree Emersons. I will be surprised if Colin doesn’t call out some young buck for even looking at you. What do you think Lorton and Violet are arguing about?”
Letty looked up to see Robert holding Violet’s dance card. His displeasure was evident.
“Oh, dear. I fear the Kellingtons men are not the only ones feeling overly protective about Violet. Mayhap you should go assist her.”
“Mayhap I should look at your card, first.”
Before Letty could say anything, Wes took her card. “This will not do at all!” he said, crossing off two names before Letty could stop him.
“You cannot do that!”
“I just did. Do not worry about explaining yourself to these rakes. I will delight in doing it for you. And just to make sure you do not let some other rogue in there, I have penciled in the safest escort I can imagine for the supper dance.” He showed her the card.
Letty could not believe her eyes. “Robert?”
“Of course. And speaking of the man, I should go rescue Violet from him before a scene breaks out.”
Letty looked at her card and could barely contain her excitement. She had thought there was no chance Robert would dance with her, but there was his name. Admittedly, he had not been the one to place it there, but she knew he was too much of a gentleman to not show up.
At long last, her duties in the receiving line had finally ended and it was time for her to dance. But it was close to impossible to pay much attention to her partners when she was counting down to the moment when she would be alone with Robert. She knew he didn’t dance, but she would be just as happy having him simply hold her, though she knew that would incite more than a few whispered conversations, if not an actual scene by her well-meaning but bothersome brothers.
When the opening strains of the supper waltz began, she tried to remain calm, though it took all of her control not to look about the room for her missing partner. But he finally arrived, then made his bow. He was as handsome as ever in his perfectly tailored evening clothes. He was wearing specially made evening slippers by a cobbler in Italy who had begun making his footwear from the moment he had finally been liberated from his parents’ home. He was now in much less pain and as stylish as any gentleman in the room.
“I believe this waltz is mine,” he said, his deep voice setting all of Letty’s nerves afire. “But unfortunately, I know not what to do with it.”
Letty had a few ideas she had gleaned from reading some of Rose’s novels over the years. However, she decided to ease into them. “I would like to learn about your horse farm, if we can find a quiet place in which to discuss it.”
Robert’s face lit up – Letty had known it would. He loved talking about the farm and she was genuinely interested in hearing about it. It did not hurt that they would have to leave the ballroom in order to find a quiet spot for their discussion. “I know the perfect spot,” he said.
He put his hand on her back as he guided her to a hallway. He pressed open a panel to the servants’ stairs, then they walked up one flight. He opened another panel and they entered a balcony above the ballroom. “Do you like it?” he asked. “We can still enjoy the music, but it is quiet enough to have a proper conversation.” He seated her in a chair overlooking the scene below. It gave them a proper view, while keeping them hidden from sight.
“Even I didn’t know about this place after countless visits to Lynwood House,” said Letty.
“Then you did not play sardines with the children nearly enough,” said Robert. “I know every hiding place in this home, save for any in the duke and duchess’s private quarters. Only a fool would dare tread inside there – especially when they are both at home but have not been seen for more than a moment.”
Letty had heard stories about the grand passion shared by the duke and duchess. She had even caught them unawares a few times when entering a room only to find them locked in an embrace. But Robert’s grin about their love affair sent shivers up her spine. It was an intimate moment and Letty wished she had the courage to lean over and kiss him. As she looked at his lips, he leaned into her just a bit. She thought she might finally receive her long-awaited kiss when he abruptly pulled back.
“How is your evening so far?” he asked.
It had been quite well up until you moved back, she wanted to say. “It is going well enough, I suppose, though the matrons of the ton have all examined me as if I were some sort of exhibit.”
“To them, you are either an excellent bridal candidate for their sons or fearsome competition for their unmarried daughters.”
“I am not so very fearsome. Truth be told, I would prefer not to be either.”
“You do not wish to marry?”
“I do. I just want to marry the right man.” She wanted to marry him.
“I am glad to hear it. Too many ladies accept the first man who asks. Or at least the first one with the adequate fortune and lineage. But you, dear Letty, must be wiser than that. You must wait for the man who touches your heart.”
They were sitting much closer than was proper and had somehow managed to move even closer still. The music flowed about them and Letty could not remember a more perfect moment. “What about you, Robert? You must marry one day. Who would be your perfect bride?”
“My perfect bride would certainly be too discerning to marry me.” He smiled readily, but there was something about his self-deprecating wit which brought a sadness to his eyes.
“Robert,” she said softly, “You are a kind, considerate…”
“Brilliant…”
“…somewhat clever gentleman who will one day be a marquess. I do not care about titles, but I know most girls are mad for one. If you’ll keep from being too full of yourself, I will add that you are tolerably handsome.”
“Did you bring your smelling salts? Such praise will make me swoon.”
“Hush. I am in earnest. You are all those things. Why would your perfect bride even hesitate to be your wife?”
“Because the perfect bride would have a good deal of common sense since no man wants to spend a lifetime with a henwit, no matter how attractive her feathers. And she would not want a husband who cannot walk like a normal person. Or, even worse, she would not want to take the chance of having a child who cannot walk. I could not take the chance of having a son or daughter who would bear this burden. I will not.”
“But you would not love your children any less, would you?”
“Of course not! I would love my children with a full heart and would dedicate my life to their happiness.”
“Then I do not understand why you’d pass up the chance of happiness for yourself. Besides, you were born able to walk well, were you not? This only happened as the result of a fever.”
“It is unclear what caused this. My father said it was a weakness in my mind and body, since plenty of other people have had fevers in my family and all of them can walk well.”
“Your father is a horrid man and, quite frankly, I do not know why you’d listen to anything he says. I have a great deal of common sense so you should listen to me, instead.”
Letty could hear the crescendo of the waltz. All too soon the dance would be over and they would have to make their way to supper. If she was going to kiss Robert, there would never be a better time. She leaned toward him, as he did to her. She tilted her head without even knowing why she did so. She could feel the warmth of his lips, his breath on hers. They touched lips lightly at first, then he parted her lips with his. It was the most magical moment of Letty’s life.
“Robert! Letty!” Hal and Melanie Kellington’s five-year-old daughter Mariah ran up to them. “The music is beautiful, is it not? And the ladies all look so lovely. Anna! Anna! Come see who I found when you were trying to keep us all on the other side of the balcony!”
An apologetic Anna picked up the little girl. “I brought the children in here as a treat to hear the music,” she said, sheepishly. “I am sorry to disturb the two of
you.”
They were now surrounded by various Kellington and Emerson children, each exclaiming about the ball down below. Letty loved the children, but wished she and Robert had found a more secluded place to go. For one look at him showed there would not be another kiss tonight.
Letty’s idyllic interlude had come to an end.
* * *
Robert considered the Kellington and Emerson children to be his family. But never before had he been quite so grateful to see them. Because he had almost made one of the most selfish mistakes of his life.
Letty took his breath away in her beautiful gown, with her lovely hair swept up in an intricate arrangement when all he wanted to do was feel it fall into his hands. He could picture her in his bed at his farm in Marston Vale with her vibrant red hair in stark contrast to his white sheets. When he had furnished his house, it had been a stark reminder of what he was missing. He desperately wanted a wife to share his bed with. And not just any wife, but Letty.
He had panicked when Wes had put his name on Letty’s card for the supper dance. But he had looked forward to this all night. He was glad he hadn’t had to watch some rake take this dance, then have the pleasure of sitting next to her at supper. It was bad enough to love with no hope. He did not have to torture himself by watching another man get close to her. But from here on, he wouldn’t place himself in this situation again.
Of course, he then realized he’d be doing this very thing a year from now when Anna made her come-out. He would also have a lifetime of Kellington-Emerson reunions where he would have to watch Letty with her lucky bastard husband. That was the one downside of having a loving family. Loss was too often the counterpart to love.
He had been surprised – and very pleased – by Letty’s boldness in kissing him. In truth he was not certain whose lips had touched whose first. All he knew was the incredible pleasure of finally kissing her.
He had not kissed often. He had discreetly hired mistresses over the years and despite the limitations of his leg in everyday life, it plagued him little when it came to carnal relations. But he never kissed his mistresses. Somehow that seemed too intimate. But kissing Letty was an incredible experience, in some ways a more intimate act than any he’d performed before with other women. It killed him to know they would never kiss again.
Never and Always (Emerson Book 6) Page 14
