He sounded so sure, so confident, but would he have told her? Really? He made it out to be so easy. So simple. Tell the truth. But life wasn’t easy or simple. It was complex and hard and filled with a million questions that had no clear answers. There were no directions or warnings that stated, “This is what you should do” or, “Bad idea. You’ll be sorry.” Sometimes you just had to make a decision and sometimes that decision was wrong.
Jake twisted his head to look at her. “Was any of it real? At all?”
“Yes,” she said quietly. “I do care about you. You’re the kind of guy I would have fallen hard for if I hadn’t already . . .” She couldn’t finish. The last thing he needed to hear right now was a reminder of why they’d never had a chance.
Jake nodded again, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. “Well, as Jessa put it, what’s done is done. And since I can’t do anything to change the past, I might as well do something to change the future.”
“Yeah,” Taycee said. “That sounds like something Jessa would say. Only less dry and more abrupt.”
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth before his expression turned solemn once more. “She was right, though. And since I’m the type of guy who finishes what he starts, I’ll show up for the interview. I’ll even play the part of the supportive, understanding, second-place bachelor who is still mature enough to be happy for the bachelorette. Those farmers will not lose that money because of me.”
Taycee felt a moment of relief before the pain struck—the kind of pain that came from knowing she’d wounded someone who didn’t deserve it and couldn’t do anything to fix it. There was no antiseptic or Band Aids to slap on him, no words of comfort to offer, and no kiss to make it all better. All she could do was walk away and let it heal on its own.
She wanted to tell him thank you. That he was a good man. That even if things had worked out differently, she wouldn’t deserve him anyway. But all of it sounded so trite—words meant to heal but really only made it worse.
With a tug on the handle, she pushed open the door. Stepping out of the car, she gave him one last look that she hoped would convey her apologies and gratitude. Then she left to go find Miles.
Taycee closed her apartment door with a soft click and leaned back against it. Her head still throbbed and her body ached like she was coming down with the flu. Her conversation with Miles had gone pretty much the same as it had with Jake, although Miles had tried to joke off the hurt and lighten the heady feeling in the room. But Taycee could still see the pain in his eyes.
With a sigh, she kicked one sandal off, and then the other. Forcing her feet forward, she headed for her room.
“Hey sis.”
Taycee started as a dark shadow emerged from the kitchen holding a drink. A Diet Coke. Caleb took a swig before leaning against the doorway in the dim light. “About time you showed up,” he said.
Had it only been a few days ago that Caleb had dropped the news of his engagement? It seemed like years. What had been such earth-shattering news at the time was now a tiny weed in a meadow filled with Stinging Nettle.
Taycee walked around the couch and plopped down, too tired to remain standing. Her head fell forward in her hands. “I figured you’d gone back to California.”
“Not yet.”
“Where’d you stay last night?”
“Luke’s.”
“Oh.” The one person Taycee couldn’t stop thinking about. Why couldn’t Caleb have stayed at Luke’s another night? Why couldn’t he have already flown back to Phoenix. She wasn’t in the mood for another argument or to hear about yet another one of her many flaws. More than anything, she ached to be alone. To curl up on her bed in her favorite yoga pants and let the silence engulf her. “What do you want, Caleb?”
“To apologize.”
Taycee stilled at his words. Caleb was never serious. Even when he messed up, he always found a way to apologize in a teasing way, as though it would somehow speed up the process of things returning to “normal.”
She peeked at him, not quite sure how to take the sincerity.
He plopped down next to her. “Don’t be too shocked. Jenny told me I needed to say sorry and make it sound like I meant it.” He paused, and then quickly added, “Because I do.”
A laugh bubbled up inside of Taycee. The kind of frenzied laugh that coupled humor with a desperate need for release. It started off as a snicker and grew into a series of giggles.
“What’s so funny?”
“I’m sorry. I’m just loving the fact that there’s a girl out there who can say jump and you ask how high.”
“As if,” he scoffed. “I just thought she happened to be right about this. That’s all.”
The laughter died, and Taycee stared at her hands. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me before. I feel like I missed out on an important chunk of your life.”
Caleb leaned against the back of the couch and propped his feet on the coffee table. “It wasn’t that big of a chunk actually. I’ve known her for a while, but we’ve only been going out a few months.”
Taycee twisted her head to study her brother. So much about him was still the same. His care-for-nothing appearance. His dry sense of humor. His laid-back attitude. But there was now a depth to him that she hadn’t noticed before. He’d grown up a little—not enough to change the things Taycee loved most about him—but enough to add a level of maturity that complimented him. Whoever this Jenny was, she’d been good for her brother. That much was obvious.
“I want to meet her,” Taycee said.
“Why? So you can tell her she’s making a big mistake? I don’t think so.”
A smile found its way to her mouth as she scooted over and laid her head on Caleb’s shoulder. “No. So I can thank her.”
“Thank her?”
“For being a good influence on you.” Taycee paused. “And okay. So maybe I do feel a duty to let her know what she’s getting herself into.”
Caleb’s arm locked around Taycee and a finger jabbed into her armpit, making her squeal. “Stop it!” Taycee cried between painful giggles.
“Take it back.”
“Okay, okay, I take it back.” There was nothing worse than being tickled by Caleb, especially since he wouldn’t stop until she finally did as he asked.
He let her go. “Don’t ever forget that I will always be your big brother.”
Taycee poked him in the stomach that had softened a little over the years. “Big is right.”
“You’re asking for it.”
“I know, I know.” Once again, her head dropped to his shoulder as she fought to keep her eyes open. Her body had never felt so tired. So devoid of energy.
“So how’s Shelter’s bachelorette?” Caleb asked. It was like he’d read her mind and asked the worst possible question he could have asked.
Taycee groaned. “Let’s just say I’ve made a mess of everything and leave it at that.”
“How?”
“Don’t you understand what ‘leave it at that’ means?”
Caleb’s arm came around her once more, this time in a side-hug. “Sounds like someone has some splainin’ to do.”
The last thing Taycee wanted was to relive the night all over again. “No. If I tell you, you’re just going to do your best Dad rendition and say, ‘Don’t you know that honesty’s the best policy?’ and make me wish I’d never told you. So no, I’m not going to explain anything.”
“Hmm . . . Taycee Emerson actually lied?” Caleb grinned. “I don’t believe it. What could you have possibly lied about?”
“It’s more about what I didn’t say than what I did.”
Caleb laughed. “And what, exactly, didn’t you say?” He made her sound like a drama queen who was freaking out over a little white lie.
Taycee succumbed to the bait. “Only that I fell for a bachelor who got voted off weeks ago while still dating the remaining bachelors, even though I had no intention of ever getting serious with any of them.”
A g
rin spread across Caleb’s face as he pumped his fist in a triumphant gesture. “It’s Luke, isn’t it? I knew it!” When he caught Taycee glaring, the grin left his face and he quickly lowered his hand. Then he shrugged. “So why not tell the truth now? Maybe if you fess up and explain what really happened, people might actually understand. Okay, so maybe not the bachelors that you’ve been stringing along, but the viewers might.”
“Might?” Taycee muttered. “There’s some encouragement for you. Sure, I’ll just march into that interview and say, ‘Hey, sorry I lied to everyone, but the truth is I’ve actually been in love with my brother’s best friend for years, and now that he’s back and finally paying attention to me, I really don’t care about the show or the rest of the bachelors anymore. But we still need your money, so please vote anyway, even though whoever wins really isn’t going to win anything.”
“Seriously?” Caleb asked. “You’ve liked Luke all this time?”
Taycee’s eyes closed. Out of all that, Caleb would zero in on that one little bit. She blamed her exhaustion on her slip-up. Why did he have to be such a lawyer anyway—always pressing for answers in a way that made people blurt them out? “What am I going to do, Caleb? Even the truth won’t make it okay. People are calling the show a fraud and asking for their money back.”
Caleb gave her shoulder a pat. “Stop beating yourself up about it and just explain to everyone what really happened. That’s all they really want anyway. A good, solid reason for your actions. Make them understand why you did what you did and things will work out fine. You’ll see.”
No, she didn’t see—especially not when it came to Luke.
“I messed up with Luke, too,” Taycee admitted, knowing that was the biggest reason for her misery. More than anyone else, she needed Luke to listen, to understand, and to forgive.
“I’m beginning to feel like a broken record,” Caleb grumbled, “so I’ll say this one more time and never again. Explain. And. Things. Will. Be. Fine.”
If only it could be that easy.
ON THE SET OF WAKE UP DENVER, Michael Roik leaned forward in his comfortable leather armchair. “So, Taycee, what’s it like going from the beloved bachelorette saving her town, to someone who manipulated the viewers by pretending to be something she’s not?”
Only an hour earlier, Taycee had walked into the studio with some serious trepidation. She’d been interviewed by news stations before, but this was different. It had a much larger audience and felt more intimidating. Now, however, only ten minutes into the interview, her trepidation had been replaced with anger. Michael had done nothing but attack her character and belittle Shelter Springs.
“What did I pretend to be exactly?” she asked, her voice hard.
“Available.” The way he said it made it sound like she was an idiot for not knowing that.
“But I was available.”
Michael settled back in his seat with a seedy smile. “Let me tell you how this looks to the rest of us since you can’t seem to grasp the implications.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t say—“
“Twenty bachelors were initially chosen, but a couple weeks before it began there was a last minute add-on. A bachelor from Shelter Springs, of all places. And, according to several reliable sources, you were the one who made that suggestion. Is that correct?”
Taycee shifted in her seat. Okay, so maybe it did look bad. “Yes, but—“
“Here’s what people are saying,” Michael said. “That you had feelings for Luke and possibly a relationship going on before the show started, so it made sense to add him as one of the bachelors.” He leaned forward. “But when he got voted off, that put a kink in your plans, didn’t it?”
Michael knew nothing. All he cared about was showcasing Taycee and Shelter Springs in the worst possible light. He was on a mission to uncover some nasty, manipulative person, and nothing she could say or do would change that, especially since he wouldn’t let her get a word in edgewise. “You’re wrong. I never—“
Michael held up a hand. With his horrid triumphant smile still in place, he faced the camera. “As you all know, the two remaining bachelors, Jake Sanford and Miles Romney, have agreed to join us today.”
Taycee lifted her eyes as Jake and Miles sauntered onto the set. Jake, with his confident air, and Miles, with his black cowboy hat and boyish grin. She hadn’t spoken to either of them since the night she and Jessa had attempted to right a wrong. But here they both were, as promised. Would they really be supportive runners-up, or would it now be three against one?
Miles pulled her up into a big bear hug, saying, “Don’t worry, we got your back,” and then Jake followed suit. He reached for her hand and held it in his as they sat down—Miles on one side, Jake on the other.
Michael cleared his throat, his squinty eyes absorbing the affection. “Welcome, gentlemen. Glad you could make it.”
Jake nodded. Miles said nothing.
Michael crossed one leg over the other. “Miles, let’s start with you. How do you feel about the recent turn of events regarding Luke Carney and Taycee Emerson?
Miles caught Taycee’s eye for a moment before returning his attention to Michael. “I feel about how anyone else would feel if a girl they liked had eyes for someone else. It’s a blow, but that’s life for you. Feelings aren’t always mutual, so when they go south, ya gotta accept it and move on.”
Michael turned to Jake. “What about you, Jake? From what I can tell after reading all the comments, you were the clear favorite. Any thoughts?”
Jake shrugged. “I have to agree with Miles on this one. Of course it was a disappointment, but Taycee found a better fit for her with one of the other bachelors, and that’s that.”
“Yes, but how do you feel knowing you really had no chance to begin with?” Michael prodded. “Especially after all the time and money you sacrificed to be on this show? You’ve got to be a little miffed by that.”
Jake shrugged. “I might be if I actually believed it.”
“What do you mean?”
Jake leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, relinquishing Taycee’s hand. “Taycee may have had feelings for Luke before this all started, but I had a chance to change her mind. Each of us bachelors did. If any of us had been a better fit, and then those feelings would have changed. Happens all the time, actually. But it didn’t with her, which also happens. It’s the ups and downs of dating. It’s life.”
Apparently Michael didn’t like that answer because he frowned. “You’re telling me that you don’t you think it was wrong for Taycee to become the bachelorette when she already had a bias or preference for one of the bachelors?”
“They weren’t dating at the time the show began.”
“How can you be sure they weren’t dating?”
“Call me naïve, but I believe Taycee. Besides, Luke had been gone for a decade and had only just moved back to town.”
“You’re pretty loyal for a guy who’s just been played.”
Jake shot Taycee a look before answering. “I’ll be honest. I was pretty upset at first. But when I heard her side of the story and gave it some thought, I started to wonder how I would have reacted in the same situation. I mean, this wasn’t just a show about finding love, it was about saving farms and homes and people’s livelihoods. If there hadn’t been so much on the line, I’m positive Taycee would have dropped out the second her relationship with Luke started to get serious.”
“I’ll second that,” Miles agreed.
Taycee’s fingers fiddled in her lap. As horrible as the interview had begun, Jake’s words soaked into the hole in her heart, repairing it a little. If anyone had a right to be angry or feel duped, it was Jake and Miles. And yet here they were, going to bat for her against the mean-spirited Michael Roik. She didn’t deserve it.
Michael shifted in his seat and flashed a meaningful look to a guy standing near a large camera. “It’s time for a short commercial break. We’ll be back in a moment.” When they were off the air, Mi
chael rose and strode away.
As soon as he was gone, Taycee said, “Thank you. Both of you.”
“Where’s Luke?” Miles asked. “If anyone should be here, it should be him.”
Miles’s words depressing reminder that Luke still hadn’t called her back. It had been two days now. Two very long days. He didn’t answer her calls, didn’t respond to her texts, didn’t answer his door when she pounded. Where was he? Was he planning to leave Shelter? Had he already gone? Would he ever give her a chance to fully explain?
Taycee let out a breath. “I haven’t heard from him since Saturday night. He saw the final episode of the show and was pretty upset with me.”
Jake actually smiled. “I guess I can understand that. That was quite the kiss.”
Taycee cringed. She didn’t feel up to discussing this right now—especially not with Jake and Miles. “Well, thanks for standing up for me. It means a lot that you’re both here.”
Jake caught her eyes before turning back to face the empty armchair in front of them. “You know he’s only using this time to regroup don’t you? In another minute or so it’s back to the firing range with a freshly loaded automatic.”
Taycee clasped her fingers together and sat up straight. “Suddenly, I don’t care anymore. Bring it on, Wake Up Denver.”
But the truth was, Taycee did care. Too much. When Michael returned and asked if the donated money would be returned, and Jake said, “No, Taycee didn’t do anything wrong and the town needs the money,” it opened up an entire new slew of questions and accusations. Taycee was able to keep her chin up and her claws to herself, but only because Jake and Miles deflected the majority of the bullets.
Or at least tried to. In reality, the shots found their mark. Each one cut in a little deeper, pierced her soul a little harder. By the time it was finally over, Taycee was more than ready to put it all behind her and get away from the horrible Michael Roik. She’d come to the interview ready to explain and apologize to the viewers, but she never had the chance. What did this mean for the town? Would people still vote, even after all that had happened? Or would they still insist on getting their money back?
The Reluctant Bachelorette Page 24
