“Dinner has arrived,” Logan said, beaming with the same pride Ethan had and Poppy felt deep in her chest.
Ethan gave a quick wave when Keith made it half way to the table and then turned toward the door, propping his police cap on his head.
“Is this for me?” Poppy said when Keith made it to the table. She took the plate and Keith’s face instantly showed relief that he hadn’t spilled anything.
“It’s for you, Auntie Poppy.”
“Thank you so much. Oh, it looks so good.”
“Grammie said you have to eat all of it because you’re too skinny.”
“Too skinny!” Poppy said. “My pants are going to burst if I eat all this food. Look at this plate!”
“And she said Dad can’t steal any of the food from your plate, too.”
“Did she,” Logan said, laughing and showing that deep dimple on his cheek. “Then I guess I won’t be having seconds.”
It felt incredibly good to laugh with Logan after all this time. As she took a fork full of food and savored the taste of it in her mouth, she was transformed back to a time when anger wasn’t part of their relationship. When lies hadn’t stood between them.
* * *
“Is he asleep?” Logan asked, taking a quick glance off the road to look at Keith, who was in his booster seat, sleeping with his face pressed up against Poppy’s arm.
She glanced down at Keith and smiled. “Out like a light. Good luck giving him a bath.”
“It’ll probably rouse him enough to be awake the whole night.”
“Then skip it.”
“What? Skip a bath?”
“Sure. Just put him to bed in his clothes. He can always have a bath in the morning.”
“Did you see how hard he played in the mud today?”
“Yeah, I noticed. I was right in the thick of it with him, remember? No one was rushing to get me to wash my dirty face. What’s it going to hurt? So his sheets get a little soiled. We’ll wash them in the morning, too. This way he’ll sleep.”
Logan shrugged. “I guess it can’t hurt to wait for a bath in the morning.”
“But not for me,” she said with a quiet chuckle. “There is no way I can sleep with all this mud on me. And just for the record, you’re none too clean yourself right now.”
“Then it’s settled. You can have the bathroom first while I put Keith to bed.”
Logan parked the truck and then carefully unbuckled Keith from his booster seat. Keith woke up enough to wrap his arms around Logan as he carried him up the stairs to his bedroom. Poppy watched it with awe. Logan was a good father. She’d always known he would be, but this was a different Logan than the man she’d always known. And she liked it a lot.
Fifteen minutes later, Poppy stood just outside Keith’s bedroom door listening to father and son chatter on about their day as she towel-dried her hair.
“Alex has a new video game,” Keith said. “It’s really cool. Can we get one?”
“Why not get a different one that Alex doesn’t have. That way the video game will be special when you play it over his house and your video game will be special to him when he comes to visit.”
Silence. Poppy could almost picture Keith pursing his little lips, thinking about the prospect. His next words caught her off guard.
“Is Auntie Poppy going to play with me again tomorrow?”
“Uh…Auntie Poppy?” Logan seemed to stumble on his answer. “I…don’t really know if she’s going to be here tomorrow, Keith. You know, she lives far away and may have to go home.”
All the joy of the being at dinner with Logan and Keith faded in that one statement. He was already ready for her to leave.
“She’s funny,” Keith said in a small giggle that hinted of the smile she imagined he’d have on his face. They’d had fun today and she was glad she wasn’t the only one who felt that way.
“Yes, I suppose she is,” Logan said quietly.
“She laughs a lot,” Keith continued. “It makes me laugh.”
“Don't I make you laugh?” Logan asked.
“You never play pirates.”
The silence that dragged on was probably only just a few seconds, but it still hit Poppy right in the chest. She knew Logan well, despite distance and time between them. Those four little words probably hurt Logan more than he’d ever admit. She recalled how hard it was for her dad to stop working and play with them when she was a kid. Ranching was hard work and long hours.
She was genuinely surprised when Kelly told her that they’d purchased the spread. Logan had had other dreams of wanting to travel like his brother Wade had done in the Peace Corp before he’d gone missing in a tsunami in Asia a few years ago. Perhaps losing Wade had been the catalyst for Logan deciding to settle permanently in Rudolph. There was no day off here on the ranch. Kelly had told her that plenty of times when she’d come out to visit Poppy in New York, alone, that Logan worked from sun up to sun down.
Stepping into the room, she greeted father and son with a smile, hoping her presence wasn’t as intrusive as it felt to her.
“Well, maybe we should ask Daddy to play pirates with us tomorrow. What do you think?” she said, standing on the other side of the bed from where Logan was sitting.
Logan offered up a weak smile, confirming exactly what she’d suspected. He probably had little extra time to play when there was so much to do.
“That’d be fun,” he said, eyeing her with skepticism.
Keith’s blue eyes grew large and expressive, showing enthusiasm at the prospect.
“Daddy you can be the captain and I’ll capture your ship. Arg!”
Logan mimicked Keith and then said, “Why don’t you get some sleep and we’ll talk about it at breakfast tomorrow.”
“Okay.” He reached his arms up to his father for a hug and said, “Love you, Daddy.”
“Love you, too, little man.”
Then Keith turned to Poppy and to her surprise, he lifted his arms to her. With tired eyes and a sweet smile, he said, “Love you, Auntie Poppy.”
She eased down on the bed next to Keith and wrapped him in her arms. “I love you, too, sweetie.” Keith put his head down on the pillow and Poppy reached up and pushed his silky hair away from his face. She felt more than saw Logan staring at her and decided to leave the two alone for the final nightly ritual.
As she made her way to the door, Logan said, “Goodnight.”
She turned back. “I’ll just be a few more minutes in the bathroom and then it’s yours.”
Logan nodded.
Poppy had to catch her breath as she walked those few steps toward the bathroom. She’d thought Logan was in her past. Kelly had insisted otherwise. Now Poppy wasn’t sure if she’d ever stopped loving him.
The realization hit Poppy hard in the chest as moisture filled her tired eyes. She couldn’t wait any longer to tell Logan the truth. But she’d have to find the right time, a time when Keith was at Kate’s or on a play-date with Alex. The longer she waited to tell him, the harder it was going to be to leave if it all went bad.
* * *
Logan turned off the light next to Keith’s bed and sat in the dark watching his son until he fell into a deep sleep. He knew it wouldn’t take long. It had been a long day. Playing hard in the fresh air was all the drug a little boy needed to fall into deep slumber. It gave him a moment to get his bearings.
No bath. It was such a small thing. But Kelly never would have done it. Slow, steady and predictable. That was Kelly. Logan could almost hear her yelling at him about more sheets to wash and dirty feet on the floor.
Easing himself up off the bed so as not to disturb Keith, Logan brushed his hand over his tired eyes. Already things were changing and Poppy had only been here one day. He thought about the hug his son so willingly offered Poppy. His boy missed having a mother. Try as he may, he couldn’t be both. He wasn’t starved for maternal love. Kate McKinnon gave her grandson love in spades, no matter how busy she was at the restaurant. But it was diff
erent and he hadn’t really seen what Keith was missing until his son gravitated so strongly to Poppy that afternoon.
It was clear that Poppy not only had a hold on him, but on his son as well.
When he closed the door to Keith’s room, he was surprised to see Poppy standing in the hallway as if she’d been waiting for him.
“That didn’t take long,” she said.
“He’ll probably sleep until…”
“Six?”
Logan chuckled. “Probably not much longer than that.” He paused a moment, weighing his words while he took in the beauty of her smile and the sparkle of light in her eyes under the overhead hallway lamp. He’d pushed them from his mind a long time ago but now that she was standing in front of him, it was hard to keep those memories at bay. Or the way his body had always reacted to her. Was still reacting…
“Thank you for today,” Logan said. “We got a lot further than I thought I…that I know I would have gotten alone. Especially with Keith running around.”
“He’s a great little boy.”
Logan cleared his throat and averted his gaze for just a moment before looking at Poppy again. “You’re probably heading home tomorrow?”
Her smile faltered. “I don’t know. I have no definite plans.”
Logan looked at her and let out a slow breath. “I don’t want you to take this wrong. I really do appreciate everything you did today.”
“But you don’t want me here.”
Direct and to the point. That had always been Poppy’s way. When she’d left for New York, she’d told him directly. She didn’t wait for him to find out any other way.
“It’s been tough on Keith since Kelly died. Routine is very important for him and I don’t think…”
“Don’t stop there. What?”
“I don’t want him to be confused.”
She nodded stiffly. “One night not taking a bedtime bath too much for him?”
“Kelly had everything—”
She shook her head. “You don’t have to tell me about Kelly. I knew what she was like. She was as regular as the day was long. She knew from the moment she woke up in the morning exactly what she was going to do for the day and she did it. That was just Kelly. She was happy that way.”
“You sound like you had a problem with that.”
“If I did, she wouldn’t have been my best friend, Logan.”
“That’s something you seemed to have forgotten.”
“No, Logan. My loyalty to Kelly was real.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She sighed and looked away. Then turned back to him.
“Look, if it’s too difficult for you to have me here, I’ll leave right now.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Why not? Your mother already offered me a bed. It’s not like I’m going to have to sleep in my car.”
“No one is sleeping in the car. Not tonight or any other night.”
“Then what do you want, Logan?”
“I saw the way Keith was with you today. He misses his mother. I don’t want him to get attached and then be heartbroken when you leave.”
Realization showed on her face. “Are you sure it’s Keith you’re worried about?”
He cleared his throat. “Of course. He’s always first in my mind.”
“If it’s too difficult for you both, then I’ll leave in the morning.”
He looked at her directly, fighting a war of emotions inside himself that he couldn’t define.
“I don’t want you to leave.”
Pure emotion flared in her beautiful green eyes. “You don’t?”
He stumbled on his words, not finding any that made sense to him. “You said you came here to help…so I guess…if you can care for Keith, I can get started cleaning up the barn tomorrow.”
She nodded. “And then?”
“Let’s not make this what it isn’t, Poppy.”
“And what’s that?”
He didn’t utter a word but his face said it all. He believed all the lies. Well, that shouldn’t surprise her. She’d believed them too. Poppy was standing right in front of Logan and yet she felt as far away at that moment as she’d been when she was in New York.
* * *
He should have slept like a log, but as Logan pulled himself out of bed due to the sound of cartoons on the TV downstairs in the living room, he felt like road kill. Cartoons. Early Mornings. That was normal. Having Poppy Ericksen sleeping in the bedroom down the hall, most likely naked, was not. He hated that he remembered such details about the woman.
At least he’d have a few minutes to collect himself with a cup of coffee before Poppy got up and he had to face the day with her again.
He quickly dressed and quietly walked downstairs. From the center hallway, he peeked into the living room and saw Keith sitting in a child-size plastic chair in front of the television, watching his favorite Saturday morning cartoon. He quietly walked by the doorway to the kitchen, hoping he could catch a few minutes alone before starting their morning breakfast ritual. He stopped short as he walked into the kitchen.
Poppy stood in front of the stove with a grimace on her face reading the side of a box of pancake mix. On the counter, he saw an empty bowl, a measuring cup and a full cup of hot coffee.
Her gaze lifted to him when she noticed him standing there. “Do you know this pancake mix doesn’t call for adding any eggs?”
“Good thing. We don’t have any.”
She chuckled. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She put the box down on the counter and picked up the cup of coffee, handing it to him. “I figured you could use this first thing. I just poured it so it’s really hot.”
He looked at the coffee cup, a little taken aback that she’d set the tone of the day this way. “Aren’t you having some?”
“I’ve already had two. I’m still on East Coast time. This is from a fresh pot.”
“Oh.” He took the cup in his hand and sipped it. Strong coffee, something he was not used to. Kelly had always made it weak and liked it light. He’d gotten used to it that way. But this tasted good. “How did you know I was awake?”
“It doesn’t take a PhD. I knew you wouldn’t let Keith stay up by himself that long. And I heard you coming down the steps.”
Recollection dawned on him. “The creaky step?”
“Bagged me every time,” she said with a smile. She waved the box. “Want some no-egg pancakes?”
“We have no maple syrup.”
“I saw some strawberry jam in the fridge. That’ll do.”
“Oh, okay, sure. But you don’t have to make us breakfast.”
“I can do pancakes with, or in this case, without eggs. Why don’t you give Keith his bath and I’ll fix breakfast for all of us. It’ll be done when you are.”
He nodded his thanks. “Call out if you can’t find anything in the kitchen.”
Once the warm bath was filled and Keith was playfully splashing in the water, Logan allowed himself to think about how normal it all seemed. He’d missed the scent of hot coffee brewing this morning, but now it was unmistakable. The smell of food cooking was coming upstairs and invading his senses. He hadn’t had anything like this since before Kelly died and suddenly it reminded him just how alone he’d been this past year without her.
Keith giggling pulled him from his thoughts.
Logan picked up a pile of soapsuds with his fingers and dotted Keith’s nose. “What’s so funny?”
“Auntie Poppy’s singing.”
Logan listened for a minute. Indeed she was. It brought back memories from their childhood, and he realized Poppy always had. He’d forgotten how he used to hear her coming down the hall at school long before she walked into the classroom because she’d been singing whatever popular song was on the radio. It was almost as if she was unaware she was even doing it.
Keith splashed some water that hit him in the face and he realized in that moment he’d been smiling with the memory. He
quickly pushed thoughts of the past away. Poppy hadn’t even been here twenty-four hours and the normal cadence of their lives had been shattered.
Routine had been important to Kelly, especially when she’d gotten so sick. Logan diligently followed that pattern, especially after Kelly passed away. He reasoned it was best for Keith to stay in their normal routine, something he could count on.
But he hadn’t woken that morning thinking of the normal routine that had sustained him. He’d thought about Poppy. She’d been the last thing on his mind last night and the first thing he’d thought of when he’d opened his eyes. He’d been angry with her for so long that it was hard to imagine that the woman who’d greeted him this morning was the woman who’d walked out on her best friend in her time of need. And every time he thought about that, his anger swelled again until Logan thought it would choke him. It had been hard enough to keep that anger in check yesterday.
Truth be told, Logan could hardly be angry with Poppy for leaving South Dakota all those years ago. She hadn’t wanted to leave. That had been forced on her by her parents’ decision to sell this very house.
No, Logan’s anger grew as the years went on because despite her promise on the day she’d left, Poppy hadn’t come back. Not even for Kelly. It had always been Kelly who’d felt compelled to visit Poppy in New York.
Anger surged through him with the memory of Kelly’s tears those months when she was sick every time she’d talked about Poppy. Why hadn’t Poppy come back then? None of it made sense. Least of all, Poppy showing up on his door yesterday. Why now after all this time? He just didn't understand it.
As Keith splashed in the tub, Logan thought of how he’d tossed in his bed last night, knowing Poppy was just a few feet down the hall in bed. He knew she always slept naked because he’d walked in on her once while in high school, sending his teenage hormones through the roof in one fell swoop. He’d never been able to get the image of her lying in bed; auburn hair splayed out on her pillow, her creamy white breasts looking full and every bit a young man’s dream.
Her Dakota Man (Book 1 - Dakota Hearts) Page 4
