by Liza James
“I could never be anyone else’s,” he grinds the words out as if they’re difficult to say, but true none the less and then his finger slides back inside of my pussy. He moves deep inside of me as he pushes in another finger, stretching me and filling me while moans and cries fall from my lips. He fucks me with his hand, alternating between sliding in deep and then pulling out to pinch and circle my clit.
“Fuck, Elijah, God. I’m so close,” I say in a breathless voice. My legs fall wide open for him and he grips the back of my thigh with his other hand as he lifts it up and spreads me even farther.
“That’s right, Luna, this is all for me. Your voice, your moans, your wet pussy, your aching body, your fucking blood. It’s all for me.” He’s pumping inside of me. I hear the sounds of his flesh moving inside of my wet core and even that has me even more turned on.
“Yes. Yours,” I choke out, but I’m so wound up that I can hardly speak.
“Come, Luna,” he says, and he dives down to hungrily take my mouth with his. His hand leaves my thigh and grips my throat as he holds me tightly for him while he fucks me even harder with his other hand and grinds his cock against my pussy at the same time. Fucking me dryly with his hard length and oh so fucking wetly with his thick fingers.
And just as he demands it, it breaks within me. This raging orgasm that crashes through on a loud and disastrous wave of emotions and tightly coiled desires snapping inside of my body. I’ve never came like this, never experienced anything remotely like it. It puts me on another planet while I ride the orgasm out on his hand as he continues to slowly fuck it through me.
I open my eyes to meet his and at first, I see the relief he’s feeling at finally giving into this need for each other. I can feel it through our bond that’s currently flowing wide open and feeding off of our connection. But suddenly, everything changes in his eyes and I feel the shift as it starts closing off between us. My body fights it, pushing back at him while he tries to force me out of the bond. But his eyes dart upwards, looking behind me as everything begins crashing around us.
Suddenly, I hear myself, words I’m not actually saying but have said before as they boom in the space around us. I’m crying, whimpering and begging as memories begin flooding the yard and instantly, we aren’t at Elijah’s home anymore. We aren’t outside behind his house in the early evening.
We’re in an alley in the middle of the night, in the city.
My heart begins hammering uncontrollably in my chest as Elijah sits up and frantically looks around us. I lean up on my elbows, not caring that I’m still naked, but searching for whatever is happening. We’re literally sitting inside of my nightmare, living it as if it were happening all over again. It surrounds us in everything. The sounds, the vision, all of it as if we were really there. I can’t see myself, but I hear my words as they spill out behind me. Elijah’s eyes are wide with rage and pain as he watches, and I know he can see it all as it happens.
“Please, no. Stop. Don’t do this,” I beg, tears flooding my eyes as I’m shoved to the cement below me.
“Shut the fuck up,” one dark and masculine voice shouts as I feel his hard body come crashing against my back. His heavy hand holds me down while his friend helps him rip my jeans off of my hips and down my legs.
“I’m begging you, please let me go. I won’t tell anyone,” I cry, but the taste of gravel seeps into my mouth as my face is crushed to the ground.
“You can beg, baby girl. But it’s not changing this. You’re wrong. You shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be allowed to exist. You’re no good for anything but this.” Another man crouches in front of me, bringing his face into my line of vision. He’s wearing a black cloth around the lower half of his face so I can’t recognize him. All I can see are his piercing black eyes as they scorch through me, ripping me apart while his friends come at me from behind.
I shoot upwards and slam my hands around Elijah’s ears so he can’t hear them. So, he can’t hear me. I never wanted to tell him about this, let alone have him see it for himself. I don’t understand what’s happening but it’s everything I could ever be afraid of coming to light.
His eyes fall to me in excruciating pain as he grips my hands tightly and begins to pull them away. But he sees it, the terror in my eyes while he’s experiencing this. He can feel it inside of me, so instead, he holds my hands tighter against him and keeps his eyes focused on mine. Intentionally supporting me. Deliberately not invading my privacy, even if it kills him not to know what happened to me.
Tears spill through my lashes and coat my face as everything continues behind us. I’m sobbing, uncontrollably and his breaths are coming out in ragged heaves as he trembles with rage in front of me.
Suddenly, everything shifts again and changes. We aren’t in the same alley, but we’ve moved to another. It’s still dark, and I can feel in my blood that it’s near the same area that I was raped.
Only this time, I’m watching Elijah as he races through the city.
What the fuck is going on.
I’m destroyed, ripped apart at what I just saw happen to Luna. It was like I was living that moment with her. That horrible, agonizing night where she was violated and wrecked by four men that I now want to brutally kill with my bare hands. I crave their blood, I need their cries, I demand every single thing I can take from them for what they did to her.
But now we’re living my nightmare and I know there is some tragic connection between the two. Luna’s hands have fallen from my ears as she watches over my shoulder this time. I instinctively know she’s seeing everything I’ve kept hidden away unfold in front of her, just as it did for me a few moments ago.
I’m running, I know exactly what moment this is. I’m searching the streets for the cries of the woman I heard just moments earlier. I’m looking for the man I heard grab her off the street and throw her to the ground. This is all just minutes before I’m torn apart by Amelia breaking our bond.
Fuck, Luna’s about to see all of it. She’s about to find out that I’ve been bonded before, to the one person who tried to kill her.
“Please, no. Stop. Don’t do this.”
Shit, shit. Fuck. Realization slams into my mind and I see it register in hers as well. Her eyes dart back to me, wide and fearful and understanding. Both of our nightmares start with the same words, in the exact same way.
I was looking for Luna that night, without even knowing her. And if what her sister told me earlier is true, then I’ve searched for Luna twice in her lifetime. She’s been connected to two very important parts of my own.
Suddenly, I halt mid run, sliding to a stop and falling to my knees on the cold ground. Amelia is in front of me, a manic smile gliding across her lips as she stands at the end of the dark alley. Danner stands behind her, his hands crossed tightly around his chest as he smirks.
“Amelia, I need to go. Help me find her, she needs us,” I place my hand on the ground to stand back up, but Danner uses his ability to shove me back down. I feel the weight of his invisible force on my back, holding me in place while my mind scrambles to create some sort of logical answer to this.
“No, Elijah. We have work to do,” her voice is sickly sweet and terror rips through me.
No, no, no, no.
Instinctually, I feel her decision through our bond before she’s spoken it out loud. She isn’t hiding it from me, she wants me to feel it.
“Don’t do this, Amelia. This is wrong and you know it. We should be together,” I cry out as I meet her icy gaze with my own.
“You no longer serve my purpose, Elijah. I’m sorry, but this is the right decision. I don’t need you anymore,” she lifts her hand, a long black dagger resting against her clutched fingers as she brings it to her own chest.
“Amelia, fuck! No. You belong with me. I love you,” I beg her, because I’m fucking destructing inside of myself. My body is being called elsewhere, to someone I don’t even fucking know who needs my help. But my mind is glued to this moment, logically convinc
ing myself to stay rooted here. I have to fight for my bonded, it’s the right choice to make, even if I’m being strangely drawn elsewhere.
“I don’t though, I belong with Danner. I choose him, sweet Elijah. I’m sorry to hurt you in the process, but you were always a means to an end for me.” The words rip through me as I try to remember every conversation we’ve had, every moment we shared since we were kids. This can’t be true; I refuse to believe it.
“I sever this bond with Elijah, Seraphim Angel of Arcadia above. I sever the ties of blood between us and reject the unity of our souls as one.” She speaks the English translation of our Enochian words loudly as she infects my body with the toxic elimination. Her hand comes down as she slices the blade across her chest, over her heart and effectively destroys everything we shared.
I yell out in pain, over the injury as it rips through my own chest, but also at the pain of the bond being torn apart. The metaphysical strands that had interwoven with each other rips and shreds throughout my body. I feel her being pulled from me as she crashes to her knees in the same pain I’m experiencing. But she has Danner, who immediately pulls her into his arms and comforts her while I begin falling apart at the seams.
I look down, watching my own blood soak through my shirt and spill over the ground beneath me. I feel the strength leaving my body and exhaustion overwhelming me while my mind strays to the girl in another alley nearby. Even in the midst of my destruction, I’m looking for her. In my mind, my body, I’m seeking her out.
But Danner catches my attention as he stands and lifts Amelia in his arms. She’s collapsed into him and he turns away from me. He takes her with him as he stalks in the opposite direction, leaving me alone as I bleed out in the abandoned space.
My vision goes black and every bit of energy I held escapes my body. I fall to the ground as the excruciating pain engulfs me and takes over, leaving me to die alone as the cries of an unknown girl surround me.
Instantly, everything shifts again and we’re back in my yard. We’re on the ground, still half naked and I’m crouched above Luna as everything clears around us.
She moves first, immediately pushing herself backwards as she rips her panties and leggings back up her thighs. She turns over and searches the ground for her shirt and bra, finding and clutching them up against her chest to cover herself.
“Luna,” I urge, shooting forward to reach her. Any part of her, anything she’ll let me grasp on to.
“No, don’t say anything. I can’t—fuck. I can’t process anything right now.” She stands, turning quickly and moving to hurry back inside. I sit back on my legs, a catastrophe of different emotions running through me. I bring my hands up to my head, pulling at my hair as I try to understand what the hell just happened.
“You were bonded to her?” Luna’s voice cracks around the yard and I immediately look up to find her stalking back towards me. I feel the betrayal burning through her. I feel what she believes is now completely false between us, just another blood bond like any other.
But she doesn’t know how wrong she is.
“Yes,” I say quietly, unsure of how to handle this.
Tears fill her eyes as she fights to let them fall. She hates crying, I haven’t known her long, but I know this.
Actually, I’m now realizing that I may have known her all her life.
“So, everything we just did. Hell, everything I felt. Everything I thought you felt, it’s the same as it was with her.” Her voice cracks, betraying the strength she’s struggling to portray.
I’m silent. I don’t know if I should tell her about being Fated. That fact may fix the impending disaster that’s about to unfold, but it would complicate things going forward. She would be in danger. If it became known that we were Fated, she would never be safe, and I could never live with that.
She laughs, a bitter, painful sound as she takes my silence as agreeing with her. But I’m not, nothing with Amelia could ever begin to compare with how I feel being connected to Luna.
“Luna—” I start, deciding to try and explain myself to her.
“No. Shit, no. You loved her. Do you still love her? Is that why this has been so fucking difficult for you?” she asks. The struggle to keep her tears at bay finally fails and I watch as streams begin coating her cheeks. Pain lances through me, this started out so well and now we’re falling apart.
The hardest part about all of it though is wondering if this is how it should be. Wondering if this is actually better for her in the long run. Because at the end of all of this, she would be better off living her own life on her own terms.
“No. I don’t love her. That, I can promise you.” I force the truth out at her question. No matter what happens, I can’t have her believing I could ever love Amelia like that. How could I when every ounce of my being has always belonged to Luna?
“Don’t lie to me, Elijah. I’m the only person you can’t fucking lie too.”
“Luna. Listen to me, use the fucking bond to your advantage and read it. I’m not lying to you. I don’t love Amelia,” I grit the words out as frustration and anger over this entire situation builds inside of me. I stand, reaching for my shirt and pulling it over my head.
Stepping closer to her, I slide my fist through her hair and grip the back of her head so she can’t move away from me. “I don’t know what the hell just happened. I don’t know how we saw what we did. I have no idea what it fucking means. But we both went through that shit, clearly on the same night and at the same time. We just went through it again, right now. Together.” She whimpers in my hold as she closes her eyes, refusing to acknowledge it on her own.
“When we figure it out, we can work on living our separate lives, even with the bond. We can focus on separating ourselves and you can go back to your own life.” I pause as her eyes snap open and shoot back up to mine, realization crashing into her at what I’m saying. God, it’s tearing me apart, but I’ve already blocked her out of the bond, and she knows it.
“What—” she starts but I cut her off with harsh tug at her hair.
“No. This doesn’t change anything. We aren’t doing this. The only good thing that came of this is having some sort of idea at what our potential ability is together, maybe we can use it to our advantage in living apart.”
“Wait, you’re saying we did that? We created that?” she asks, her eyes frantically bouncing between my own while her brows crease in disbelief.
“I think we did, somehow we managed to pull our darkest secrets out of each other and alter the space around us.” There’s no use in keeping that part from her, she experienced it all for herself.
I release my grip on her with a gentle shove backwards, forcing distance between us. She stops herself, standing still as her eyes fill with pain and rejection. She hates me, but she also craves me in the same breath.
Instead of turning and running away, she steps forward and back into my space, pushing herself at my boundary like she always fucking does.
My hand shoots forward and grips her jaw, holding her back while my body fights the instant need rising in me at simply touching her. “No,” I grit out through clenched teeth.
“Yes,” she bites back, trying to push against me. But my strength is no match for her, and she doesn’t make any progress.
“Fuck, Lun. No.” I growl, tightening my hold on her in both torment and desire. God, I want to drag her lips back to mine, make her come against my fingers again, make her come on my cock as I spill inside of her and mark her as my Fated. “I don’t fucking want you.” The lie burns my throat as it painfully claws its way out. It poisons her mind and her heart, and I watch in silence as it eats her up.
Misery tortures me, feeds me and then punishes as I hurt her. I can’t stop it. I can’t fix it. Because this is how it has to be. She may be the Demon, but I’m the Devil disguised as an Angel. Eternally created to ruin her in every way I can get my filthy hands on.
I’ve lost count of the days. Honestly, I don’t really bother t
rying to tell them apart anymore. I don’t sleep well, because now that my body knows what Elijah feels like, it refuses to settle for anything less.
I’m constantly cold. I’ve never noticed how cold I was until I experienced my true heat for the first time. Every once in a while, I can convince Elijah to at least sit near me on the couch so I can catch a couple hours of sleep while he watches TV or reads a book. He never reaches for me, never seeks out my own touch, and sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one going through withdrawal. It was one hit, one fucking hit off of him and I’m addicted.
Believe it or not, I still have my job. Although I’m rarely scheduled. I think Frannie knew that I was going through something I couldn’t really explain. So, we talked and she keeps me on for call in shifts or busier events. At those times, Elijah does exactly what he said he would do. He goes to the Capital, where I still haven’t been, and gets some work done while I finish my shift. When I clock off and step out of the little coffee shop, he’s always waiting on the edge of the street, his eyes on me while I walk towards his big Wrangler and climb inside.
We generally don’t talk. I take advantage of the nearness of him and fall asleep. Sometimes, if I’m lucky, he’ll carry me inside and up to my room, tucking me under the heavy comforter. Unfortunately, he always sneaks out before I have the chance to ask him to stay.
Tonight, I’m thankfully distracted by my wild sister, who has turned from a sassy bohemian pixie, to a free-spirited sexual goddess. I don’t know what has gotten into her, but she’s become someone new. She’s incredibly confident, in love with her curvy body, and flaunts it without shame like the queen she is.
