An Old Flame

by Raquel Belle

  Leena and I burst into laughter. Leena smiled at him. “Shane, you’re pragmatic, and I like that, but you don’t know the mess that was Stephanie when they broke up. I just don’t want to see that again,” Leena said when we all sobered.

  I took a deep breath and focused on the road as the light at the intersection turned green. We were headed to Lower Queen Anne. “I’m fine. Things are a lot different now. Mark isn’t so young anymore. He’s sure about what he wants,” I said. I glanced at Shane through the rearview mirror, and then at Leena beside me.

  She shrugged. “As long as he makes you happy, and … he’d better make you happy.”

  “So enough about Steph’s love life. Leena, I heard you were dating someone?” Shane asked. He leaned forward and put his elbows on our seats. Leena sighed, as if it pained her soul to think about it.

  I glanced at her incredulously. “You could be happier. Bryant sounds like a great guy, not to mention he’s hot.”

  “Yeah, but he’s too …”

  “Vanilla?” Shane asked.

  “Not really. It’s like, if you could build the perfect partner in your head, and then you met them in real life, and then everything you had always wanted, you ended up getting ... Wouldn’t you be suspicious?” Leena asked.

  “I see what you mean … and yes, I would be suspicious. It’s never that easy,” he said.

  I sighed dramatically. “You guys are two peas in a pod. There’s nothing wrong with him! Leena, get over it. You found your soul mate, so be grateful.”

  “Maybe you should test him here and there. Just to see how he reacts to certain things,” Shane said. I shook my head. There was no reeling them in. When we drove up to the bar that JNM rented out, my car was valeted and we stepped into the place. It was a hipster bar, decorated with chalk drawings on the walls, the tables were all picnic benches. The long bar was all copper. There was a pool and darts section in the back of the bar as well.

  “So JNM is one of those companies,” Shane murmured, as we all took in the place.

  “They are a tech company, so what did you expect?” Leena said. “Oh, I see a few spots at the bar.”

  “If I were straight, I’d be all over you, woman,” Shane told her. Leena giggled, and I followed them to the bar, still scanning the room for any sight of Mark, Jimmy, or Neil. Mark had texted me earlier that they were already there. We sat down, and it took Shane and Leena two seconds to find out that it was an open bar for the event.

  “Okay, I have to say … I like Mark a little bit more now,” Leena said, after we ordered drinks.

  “Yeah, I wonder where he is though,” I said and glanced around again. I saw him then, near the entrance with both of the guys, just chatting. His shoulders were stiff, and he had his hands in his pockets. Mark’s black hair was no longer falling into his face. He got what I used to call his Superman cut, and he wore a grey sweater and slim cut jeans. Jimmy looked not a day older than the last time I saw him in college. His hair was longer though, and pulled into a bun. Neil looked the same, too, but a little slimmer. He used to have more muscle in college. I guessed he was really going for the lean, vampire look with his angular features, silver blonde hair, and pale complexion. We must’ve walked right past them when we came in. “Oh, there they are,” I said and got up to walk over.

  Neil noticed me first, and his eyebrows shot up. He looked completely shocked. “Holy shit! Doth mine eyes deceive me?” he said and opened his arms to give me a bear hug.

  “Steph!” Jimmy yelled. He took me next into an even bigger hug, picking me up off of the floor and everything. “Oh my god, how are you, girl?” he asked after putting me back onto my feet. I grinned at both of them, I was honestly glad to see them after all that time.

  “I’m good. You guys! It’s been way too long,” I said. Mark put his hand around my waist, and I looked up at him. He gave me a soft kiss on the lips. I smiled. “Oh, hi,” I said, smiling. He smirked but I could see in his eyes that something was bothering him. He seemed guarded.

  “Hi,” he said softly.

  “We’ve been doing big things, as you can imagine,” Neil said, grinning.

  “Yeah, I hear you guys are billionaires now. What’s that about?” I joked.

  Jimmy chuckled. “How have you been? Did you come here by yourself?” I glanced up at Mark again, wondering why he didn’t tell them that I was coming, or that I was bringing Leena with me.

  “I’ve been good. I’m teaching now, and just living the dream,” I said, “and I brought Leena with me. She’s over there with another friend of ours.”

  “Leena?” Jimmy perked up and glanced at the bar. “Oh snap, it’s a reunion,” he said, and started walking over.

  “You wanted to teach elementary, right?” Neil asked. We followed Jimmy at a slower pace. Mark held my hand, but he was like a silent statue behind me. I wanted to take him aside and ask what was wrong.

  “You remembered,” I said, impressed. “Yeah, I teach second grade.”

  “Leena!” Jimmy said. She turned around and practically jumped on him. Back in college, whenever we hung out with Mark and the guys, they’d been like brother and sister.

  “Oh my gosh, Jimmy! You have a man bun!” she said. He cracked up, and I quickly introduced Shane to the guys.

  Neil put his hand on the bar and flagged a bartender. “What are you guys drinking?” I noticed that my vodka and cherry was waiting for me on the bar. I picked it up and took a sip then turned around to face Mark. Jimmy was catching up with Leena, and Shane was talking to Neil about drinks.

  “What’s up? You look like you’re having a bad day,” I said, so that only he could hear.

  Mark took a deep breath. “I just need a beer or something. It’s nothing.”

  I tilted my head to the side, and he shook his head. He really didn’t want to talk about it.

  “Mark …” I said in a low voice. After Neil ordered his drink, Mark leaned over me to ask for a beer.

  “So, Mark, how have you been?” Leena asked him. She looked at him skeptically. I held my breath. He wasn’t in the best mood and Leena already wasn’t a fan of him.

  “I’ve been good. Busy, but good. I heard you’re a literary agent now? Congrats,” he said. His tone was good-natured at least, but his body language was still tense.

  “Yeah, thanks. It’s … an intense line of work, which is an understatement, actually,” she said. Jimmy asked her about it, and she launched into the story about the crazy author who showed up to her office. Since Mark was a statue, I turned to Shane and Neil.

  “So how many new employees did you guys hire? This place is packed,” I said.

  “Since we opened up offices here, we’ve hired a shit-ton of people—mostly coders, though,” Neil said. “Since our first program went live, the company has taken off, and now we have to compensate for all of the growth because there’s a lot that we do and a lot that we have to do.”

  “Well you guys are doing great. It’s awesome that you’re putting so many people to work,” I said.

  Neil nodded, he actually looked bashful. He smiled. “Yeah, I guess so. It feels legit now that we have headquarters in different states,” he said.

  I sat down on my barstool and took another sip from my glass. “And what about settling down, Neil? You’ve got all this business success, so what’s next?” I asked, partly teasing.

  Neil snorted and took his scotch from the bartender. Mark grabbed his beer and took a healthy swig. Neil took a small sip. “They say that when guys turn like thirty-four or thirty-five, they’re ready to settle down. I haven’t gotten there yet.”

  I smirked. “Same old Neil,” I said.

  He winked at me, and we touched glasses. “What’s not to love? Hey, do you guys want to play pool or something? I think a table finally freed up,” Jimmy said. We walked over to the game area as a group. Shane and I were first up to play against each other.

  “Are you any good at pool?” I asked while rubbing the chalk at the end of my
pool stick. Shane squared up his shot to break the triangle.

  “When I was in college, I played pool and beer pong professionally,” he said and broke the pack. Three striped balls sunk to accent his point.

  “Great, we’ve got a hustler here,” I said. Jimmy chuckled. He, Neil and Leena were spectating. I noticed that Mark had disappeared.

  “Don’t worry Steph you’ve got this. You’re a teacher right, so you know geometry?” Jimmy asked.

  “I’m a second grade teacher, Jimmy. I teach kids how to do long subtraction,” I said. He laughed at me and shook his head.

  “Good luck then,” he said. Shane went for another striped ball, but it spun to a stop right in front of the pocket. I saw the orange-colored ball sitting nicely in front of the right corner pocket and walked around the table to line up my shot. I hit the cue ball and sunk the orange one. When I looked up, my grin faded. Mark was standing near the pool table beside us, talking to some woman. She had her hand on his arm and was practically batting her eyelashes at him. My jaw fell open for a second, but I quickly caught myself and took another shot, missing completely. I stood back while Shane set up for his turn. Mark wasn’t telling the woman to stop touching him and from the smirk on his face and giggling she was doing, it sure as hell seemed like they were flirting. My heart felt like it bottomed out and sank through my chest. What the hell was he doing?

  Chapter Thirteen

  Mark

  “Anyway, I can’t thank you enough, Mister Mason. I had to come tonight just to tell you in person. I was a couple weeks away from being homeless.” A new employee, her name was Sam, had flagged me down just to thank me for the opportunity she got with JNM. I squeezed her shoulder, no—touched it, honestly.

  “It just goes to show that when you dedicate yourself to something and put in the work, you’ll be rewarded. I’m glad to have someone like you on board with us,” I said. She laughed nervously and ducked her head a little.

  “Thanks,” she said, “so, does the company do these mixers often?”

  “We do have a Christmas party, and the mixers will be yearly, but they’ve now shifted to the summer,” I said.

  “Cool,” she said, nodding her head. A coworker called her over to one of the dart boards, and she excused herself. Honestly, that made me feel better, talking with a new employee who was genuinely thankful for the job. I’d been in a pissy mood since the mixer started. Neil had been annoying up until Steph came. I took a swig of my beer and glanced at the pool table to try and catch her gaze. But she was already staring at me, and she didn’t look happy. She gave Jimmy her pool stick and walked towards me quickly.

  “Babe, what’s the matter?” I asked. Her expression was incredulous.

  “What’s the matter?” she ran her fingers through her hair in annoyance. “You’ve had a bad attitude since I got here, and then you wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. And then you wandered off to go flirt with some girl, and now you have a huge grin on your face?”

  I blinked a few times, feeling like I’d been punched in the gut. I was an idiot. I didn’t think about how it would look for me to talk to another woman right in front of her like that. She shook her head and stepped around me, walking fast to the entrance.

  “Steph, wait!” I called. Someone touched my arm—it was Neil. “Not right now,” I said.

  “What did you do, Mark?” Leena asked. Her tone was deadpan, which was unsurprising, as if she’d expected me to fuck up all along.

  “I was talking to an employee about work. It wasn’t what it looked like,” I said through my teeth. Jimmy and Shane joined the group discussion then, just as Neil darted after Steph. “Hey, wait!” I called after him.

  “What happened?” Jimmy asked.

  “I thought you weren’t an idiot anymore,” Leena said. “Didn’t you think that after the way you guys ended, she’d be a little sensitive seeing you talk to other women?”

  I took a deep breath, I felt ganged up on. “Look, it was an employee telling me that she was grateful for the opportunity to work with us and nothing else. Lay off,” I said, and turned around to go after Steph. I hurried outside and scanned the sidewalk for her. I spotted Neil first. He was trying to get Steph to listen to him. He had his hand was on her arm, and they were talking in an intense way. Neil was the last person I wanted talking to Stephanie.

  I jogged over to them. “Steph, don’t listen. I can explain,” I said.

  Neil looked at me as if I’d lost my mind. “Dude, you don’t even know what we’re talking about. Take a breath.” He lifted his hand to touch my chest, and I brushed him off. Neil reacted immediately and shoved me back.

  “You’ve been a douche lately, you know that? I’ve tried to smooth things over, but at every turn you’ve got a fucking problem with me. Over something that happened seven years ago, and something that is mostly your fault!”

  Stephanie stepped back from us, as Neil paced in front of me. “You want an apology, fine. Sorry I pushed that girl on you way back then. I was fucking drunk and high off of cocaine.”

  My body went ice cold. Sure, Neil had always been crazy since college, he knew how to party and gave no fucks past the people he cared about and the goals he had. But cocaine?

  “What the hell, Neil,” I said, my tone wooden. He shook his head and tossed his hands in the air.

  “I’d been dealing with an addiction on and off for a while. Since junior year, man,” he said, his tone resigned.

  “Neil,” Stephanie said, her voice broke and her arms were open loosely, as if she wanted to hug him.

  I didn’t even know what to say. “Neil …”

  “I didn’t mean to ‘ruin’ your relationship with Stephanie, man. A lot of the shit I did … it wasn’t really me,” he said, “but I still did it, and you have every right to be mad at me, but for fucks sake, I’m trying to make up for it,” he said.

  “Mark … he was just asking me to stay and let you explain. He told me that the woman … she’s an employee,” Steph said, and paused for me to say something. I glanced at Neil. He had his arms crossed over his chest again, and he looked pissed. Which, he had a right to be, what with me giving him the cold shoulder, but the cocaine? Neither Jimmy or I knew he was struggling with that. All the time we’d known each other, and he’s been shouldering something like that on his own?

  “Yes, Steph. She was just an employee showing me gratitude because she was a couple weeks away from homelessness when we hired her on. It was nice to hear her story,” I explained. Steph’s face reddened, and she glanced down at the sidewalk. People milled around us, walking along the street, minding their own business for the most part.

  “Neil … why have you never told us about what you were struggling with?” I asked.

  Neil laughed. He dropped his hands, which swung at his sides, until he shifted on his feet, and put his hands in his pockets. “What would I look like coming to you guys with my drug addiction?” He shrugged. “Look, I can handle it on my own.”

  “Neil, you need a support system,” Stephanie said.

  He shrugged again. “This guy has resented me since he lost you. My circus of a family could care less about my personal life, and I … it’s a pride thing,” he admitted.

  Stephanie did give him a hug then. He was stiff and patted her back awkwardly. “If you’re addicted to cocaine,” she said, “then you shouldn’t be drinking.”

  Neil looked sheepish then, he nodded. “I’ll go with you to AA meetings and stuff, if you need a friend there,” she said.

  I spoke up then. It wasn’t her job to be there for Neil when he had me and Jimmy. “Dude, I … I shouldn’t have resented you like I have all this time. For you to feel like you had no one to go to with that …” I paused and shook my head. “I’ve been a shitty friend to you.”

  “We’ve both been shitty friends,” Neil said. “So, can we call it a truce? Finally?” he held his hand out and I shook it.

  “Yeah, and Steph, you don’t have to go with him to AA. I�
��ll go,” I said.

  “Actually, the boxing really helps,” Neil said. “I don’t know if I’m ready for AA yet.”

  “AA?” Jimmy startled us all. He came out probably looking to see what was taking us so long. “Neil, are you an alcoholic for real?” Jimmy asked. His tone was completely serious and concerned.

  “He’s been battling an addiction to cocaine and never told us,” I said.

  Neil shrugged. “It’s alright, I’m not on it anymore.”

  “Well, we need to make sure you stay off of it,” Jimmy said. He glanced at me and Steph. “You guys alright?” I looked at Stephanie and she nodded.

  “It was a rash misunderstanding,” she said, clearly embarrassed.

  “Alright … uh, Neil we gotta talk about this man,” Jimmy said. “Let’s go for wings or something because I’m starving,” Jimmy said.

  “Yeah, okay,” Neil said. He and I bumped fists, and Steph gave him another hug which he wasn’t so awkward in returning that time. He and Jimmy walked down the block, towards the parking lot.

  “Mark, don’t feel bad. I overreacted,” Steph said, once we were alone. “I got … jealous, I guess.”

  I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. “You know I wouldn’t be that evil or stupid, right?”

  She took a deep breath and sighed. “I know that you’re not evil …” She gave me a small smile.

  “Okay, just because I don’t think too far ahead with certain things, doesn’t mean that I’m stupid,” I said. She patted my chest reassuringly. I placed my hand over hers. “I should’ve handled that better,” I said.

  “There was a lot of touching,” she whispered.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “Next time I’ll be more mindful of how you feel.”

  Steph bit her lip, and I kissed her hard. “I wouldn’t make that mistake again,” I said.

  “Okay, okay,” she said. “I’m sure Shane and Leena think we ditched them by now.” Steph took my hand and pulled me back towards the bar. My mind wasn’t on the mixer anymore. I wanted to be there for Neil, having wings with him and Jimmy, while we talked through the last ten years that he’s been struggling with cocaine addiction.