by Cavan Scott
She thought of Yayani, of the look on her face when the TCE beam had struck. Poor, stupid Yayani. As if she’d found that recall cube by accident, or that Rassilon had simply forgotten she’d existed when he dissolved the House of Stillhaven. He thought he’d got what he’d wanted, yet again.
Not this time.
Missy walked over to the locker in the wall, depositing her Vortex Manipulator through the open door, before pulling a compact laser deluxe from her pocket and placing it beside the leather cuff.
She was truly free, for the first time in years, and she wasn’t the only one.
‘You’re welcome, dear,’ Missy said aloud, her fingers lingering on the laser gun before she sealed the roundel and strode from the control room.
Teddy Sparkles Must Die!
Paul Magrs
‘Oh, do hurry, Jack. We shouldn’t even be here. Look, she’ll be back soon, and if she finds us in her room, I’m sure she’ll be absolutely furious with us …’
Jack spared his younger sister a scornful glance. ‘I’m not scared of her. She’s only a servant.’
Esme was 8, and she thought her older brother was the bravest person in the world, but breaking into the new governess’s bedroom seemed more foolhardy than anything else. ‘Please, Jack. Let’s just go. Look, Peter’s getting frightened.’
Their brother, who was only 5, was looking about the dimly lit bedroom with great interest. ‘Boop,’ he said. For some reason it was the only word he ever said.
‘Look,’ said Jack, peering under the tidily made bed. ‘We agreed, didn’t we? This new governess needs investigating. There’s clearly something fishy about her, and none of the grown-ups will listen to a word we say.’
‘Father thinks she’s wonderful. Even Mrs Monk says she’s a boon to the household.’
‘But we know there’s something decidedly queer going on, don’t we?’
‘I suppose so …’
‘And we need to get to the bottom of it, don’t we?’
‘Boop,’ said Peter.
‘See? Peter agrees with me. Now, stand back. I’m going to open her wardrobe.’
‘Oh, Jack … do you think that’s wise? We can’t go poking around in all her things …’
‘I think we must!’ said Jack, trying to sound more determined than he secretly felt. Before he could change his mind, he threw open both doors of the vast, dark, Victorian wardrobe.
And that’s when the children came face to face with Teddy Sparkles for the first time.
‘Hello, there!’ boomed Teddy. ‘Who are you?’
It had all begun several weeks ago, with the mysterious disappearance of the children’s former governess, Miss Pratt. There were some dark mutterings from the servants that she had taken off with a greengrocer called Bernard and it was all a great scandal, but something about the matter made the children feel rather suspicious.
‘Miss Pratt was devoted to us,’ Jack mused. ‘She simply wouldn’t go running off with a grocer. At least, not without saying goodbye to us first.’
Peter agreed tearfully: ‘Boop.’
‘But whatever could have happened?’ Esme asked. ‘Our new governess appeared on our doorstep the very same day that Miss Pratt vanished without a trace,’ Jack whispered. ‘Doesn’t that seem a bit convenient to you?’
Esme’s eyes widened in shock. ‘Do you really think she might have done something to … get rid of Miss Pratt?’
Jack nodded with great solemnity. ‘I believe that Missy is capable of absolutely anything.’
‘Ha! You’re quite right there!’ bellowed Teddy Sparkles. ‘She’s completely ruthless!’
The three children tried to shush him, but the small, golden bear couldn’t seem to control his volume at all.
‘But Teddy Sparkles,’ said Esme. ‘Aren’t you Missy’s best friend and confidante? Why, we listened at her door, very late each night for the past week, and we have heard you talking to her. We couldn’t make out exactly what you were discussing, but you sounded ever so thick with each other.’
‘She’s no friend of mine, that awful woman!’ Teddy shrieked. ‘Crikey, no!’
Jack frowned at the bear’s intemperate tone. The new governess might be under suspicion, but she was still a lady, after all. ‘See here, Teddy – um – Sparkles. How is it that you’re alive anyway? How on earth are you able to hold a conversation with us?’
‘Aha,’ cried Teddy Sparkles, jumping up from the floor of the wardrobe and executing a rather showy pirouette. ‘I wondered when you’d ask!’ He tightened his golden cravat and his topaz eyes glimmered with joy. ‘I’m not any ordinary little bear. Oh, no, not I! I’m Teddy Sparkles! I’m magical, I am.’
‘I see,’ said Jack.
‘Boop!’ said Peter.
‘Magical?’ gasped Esme.
‘I can grant wishes,’ said Teddy Sparkles, trying to hurry them up. ‘You know the kind of thing. We can go on lots of lovely magical adventures together. You can ask for anything you like and it’ll all be marvellous, you’ll see.’
‘Goodness!’ said Esme.
‘But you must do something for me in return,’ said the small bear.
‘What’s that?’ asked Jack, narrowing his eyes.
The next morning, bright and early, the three children were at their desks in the schoolroom.
The door flew open and Missy came in like a waltzing panther, completely ignoring her charges and going straight to the tall windows that looked down onto the park.
‘I do love the spring. Oh, look. A little bird. What kind of a bird is that, children?’
The children moved closer as Missy threw open the sash window.
Jack began, ‘I think it’s a—’
‘Dead bird!’ Green lightning burst from Missy’s cameo brooch and sizzled the songbird on the spot. One second it was sitting on a branch singing a gay little tune, the next it was a shower of ashes. ‘It doesn’t matter,’ Missy sighed. ‘I hate birds. Nasty, squeaking things. Like children, really. I hate children as well, did I warn you about that?’
Esme shrank back, clutching hold of Peter as the new governess rounded on them.
‘Boop,’ said Peter, with some consternation.
‘I especially hate nasty, sneaky, awful children who go creeping about in the boudoirs of lovely ladies behind their backs.’
Esme bit the inside of her cheeks hard to prevent herself squealing with terror. She stared at the killer cameo brooch on the high neck of Missy’s sprigged cotton frock. She could frazzle them all to death in an instant: Esme didn’t doubt it.
‘You don’t scare us,’ said Jack. ‘You’re a monster. My father will hear all about you and the way you behave. We know what you’ve done.’
‘Oh, yes?’ Missy turned away abruptly, picked up a piece of chalk, and proceeded to write a whole series of unimaginably rude words on the board.
‘My father will dismiss you from our household. You aren’t fit to look after children.’
Missy turned back and snarled. ‘I’m ten times the woman your previous governess is. Twenty times! A hundred times!’
Jack gasped. ‘That isn’t true!’
‘Oh?’ Missy stuck out her tongue and crossed the room to the cupboard where supplies of exercise books and pencils were usually kept. ‘Look here, then.’
Missy lifted out a wooden box and opened its lid. The children gasped. Miss Pratt was lying crumpled inside, a mere ten inches tall and quite dead.
‘See?’ Missy sighed. ‘She’s neither use nor ornament now, is she? The silly, stubborn woman. You should be glad you’ve now got a teacher who can show you things your precious Miss Pratt could never even dream of. A teacher who can unveil all the secrets of the universe to you. Look, I’ll pop her back in the box, shall I? And then you can go back to your desks … and perhaps then you’d like to explain to me … just what on earth you’ve done with Teddy Sparkles …?’
‘She is an utterly wicked and nasty person, and for several awful months I was her pr
isoner,’ said Teddy Sparkles dolefully. ‘Even with my amazing magical powers I was helpless. She took me away from my family and friends, and I fear I shall never see my wonderful home ever again!’
‘Oh, dear, I’m frightfully sorry to hear that, Teddy Sparkles!’ said Esme. ‘But please stop crying so loudly, do!’
The children were crouched behind a jagged lip of grey rock and they were in the midst of a terrifying adventure. It was quite dark and they were each wearing rather cumbersome outfits with glass helmets.
Jack nudged his sister crossly. ‘Can’t you make that bear be quiet? He’s going to get us killed.’
‘Boop!’ added Peter.
Esme took hold of the small bear and tried to hug him, but he wriggled as he wailed and soon he floated free of her grasp.
‘Oh no!’ she yelled. ‘Teddy Sparkles!’
‘Oooooh!’ came the cries of the small, yellow bear as he drifted above their heads into the starry night sky. ‘I really don’t like zero gravity at all. It feels horrid!’
Jack pulled a face at Esme. ‘This is your fault,’ he said snappishly. ‘It was your idea to wish for an adventure on the Moon.’
Now Esme felt like bursting into tears. ‘I thought it would be exciting.’
‘I’m sure it will be terribly exciting,’ hissed her brother, ‘when those Moon Men spy Teddy Sparkles floating above their heads, as they are bound to do at any moment …’
Just then there was a great hullaballoo down in the dusty crater because the Moon Men had, right at that very moment, spotted the bear turning cartwheels above their heads and heard his shouting: ‘Oooooh! I say …!’
‘Boop,’ said Peter.
‘Oh, this is an awful magical adventure,’ said Esme. ‘I wish I’d never suggested we learned the secrets of the Moon Men. They look absolutely horrible with their shaggy green fur and their eyes out on stalks like that. I hope we won’t have to meet them.’
‘I believe we have no choice,’ gasped Jack. ‘Look! They’ve noticed us standing here at the craggy lip of the crater! We’re rather conspicuous in these copper-and-bronze space outfits that Teddy Sparkles magicked up for us.’
‘Oh no! I do believe those hideous Moon Men are coming over here towards us with their savage-looking weapons!’ Esme clutched her brother, and he put a consoling arm about her. ‘Oh, dash it all. We need Teddy Sparkles to use his magic to take us home again!’
But right at that particular moment, Teddy Sparkles was no use to them at all. He was still turning over and over through the airless void. His frightened, booming cries had subsided now as he started to enjoy himself. ‘Oho!’ he bellowed. ‘It’s actually a pleasant sensation, this! Look at me!’
Jack frowned inside his magic space helmet. ‘We’re rather busy, Teddy Sparkles. We’re about to be rudely attacked by vicious Moon Men.’
Esme squeezed her eyes shut. They were doubtless to die horrible deaths on the Moon, and no one would ever learn what had become of them. She wished her hardest and fiercest for salvation …
And help came their way, right at that very moment.
‘Boop!’ shouted Peter.
‘MISSY!’ Jack cried delightedly.
Esme opened her eyes to see their new governess arriving on the Moon.
‘Good morning, you horrible, vile, detestable children. And who exactly gave you permission to go gallivanting about on the Moon today?’
She was drifting down from the stars with her sturdy umbrella unfurled. She floated as if gravity and airlessness had no meaning to her whatsoever. She looked mildly irked by the danger her charges had got themselves into, but hardly surprised at all.
The Moon Men came thundering up the side of the crater, waving their axes and scimitars about. They roared bloodthirstily and Missy sighed.
‘Awful people,’ she said, and then eradicated them on the spot with her deadly lipstick.
The children stared dumbstruck at the empty patch of airless void where the Moon Men had been.
‘Now,’ said Missy. ‘What have I told you children about sneaking off on silly, hare-brained jaunts with that naughty Teddy Sparkles, hmm? One of these days that tiny, stuffing-filled fool is going to get you all killed, and then what am I going to tell your father and Mrs Monk the Housekeeper?’
Jack and his sister hung their heads. ‘We don’t know, Missy.’
‘Boop,’ added Peter.
‘Well, I hope you’ve all had a dreadful scare and that it’s made you see sense at last. This is all your own fault for stealing Teddy Sparkles from my wardrobe and giving in to his ridiculous suggestions for adventures you can share together.’
‘But we like adventures!’ cried Jack. ‘Even scary ones with Moon Men …’
Missy sighed. ‘That’s exactly what you said when Teddy Sparkles granted your wish to visit the Centre of the Earth last Tuesday. And just look what happened there!’
Esme shuddered. It had been absolutely terrifying, what with the savage, flesh-eating lizard people and the exploding volcanoes and all. If it hadn’t been for Missy arriving just in the nick of time aboard that amazing giant Robotic Badger, they’d have been goners for sure.
‘And what thanks do I get?’ said Missy, pretending to weep. ‘Insubordinate children. Inattentive children. Impolite children.’
‘We’re very sorry, Missy,’ said Jack. ‘We’re sorry for sloping off to have magical adventures at the Earth’s Core and on the Moon.’
‘Also Mars,’ she snapped. ‘You made me travel all the way to Mars as well, didn’t you? Just to rescue you from the palace of that ridiculous lobster king, or whatever he was. I had to wrestle a giant octopus in the royal arena, just to save your skins. It completely ruined my weekend, all that.’ She looked down at her dark velvet coat and pulled a face. ‘And now I’m covered in Moon Dust, too.’
‘Boop,’ said Peter sympathetically.
‘Well, time to return home. Take my hand, Jack, and your sister’s, and someone take hold of that horrid infant …’
‘Wait!’ said Esme. ‘What about Teddy Sparkles?’
The bear was still spinning slowly above the Moon’s surface, drifting further and further away. He was whooping madly, seemingly quite content to bob about in space for ever.
‘I’ve a good mind to abandon that wretched creature where he is,’ said Missy tightly. ‘But I still have need of him. I hope you children have learned your lessons, after these jaunts of yours around the place. You must be very careful what you wish for, when it comes to Teddy Sparkles and his magical wishes.’
‘We’ll be much more careful in future,’ Jack promised solemnly.
‘Oh, I’m sure you will,’ Missy smiled. ‘In fact, I think it will be for the best if, for your next wishes, you do exactly as I bid …’
The children glanced at each other worriedly. There was something rather dark and frightening about their governess’s tone of voice.
Just then, as she tightened her grip, came Teddy Sparkles’ voice from the void: ‘I say! I’m getting rather dizzy up here! Is it time for supper yet?’
Teddy Sparkles was looking crumpled and defeated. ‘I’ve tried my level best!’ he boomed. ‘Those were fantastic adventures I sent the children on …’
Missy pulled a doubtful face, then went whirling about the schoolroom. ‘I can’t agree, I’m afraid. La, la, la.’
The children sat at their desks, feeling rather gloomy.
‘Boop,’ said Peter, disconsolate.
Outside there was September rain, drumming at the window and all over the Square outside, where the trees were turning orange and brown.
‘The seasons are changing and it’s time I was off,’ said Missy. ‘That’s how it goes, I’m afraid, children. You have to make the best of me while you can.’
All three children were absolutely terrified of her, but there had been good points about her time with them, too. For example, the way she had rescued them after each of their trips with Teddy Sparkles had gone a bit wrong. Also, she read
to them each night, and entertained them with the most wonderful stories about magical beasts in other lands. The books she read from were quite odd and certainly not available in any bookshops in London.
‘We will miss you, Missy,’ said Jack, somewhat stiffly.
‘Will you, dearie?’ she smiled and raised a quizzical brow. ‘One day, you know, I might come back. One day when you least expect it.’
Some of the sparkle was returning to Teddy’s golden fur at the news of her imminent departure. ‘You’re really going to leave us? So we can have fun in peace?’
She scowled at him. ‘You …! Why, sometimes I wish I’d never kidnapped you from that silly little Planet of the Bears where I found you. You’ve been far too much bother.’
Teddy Sparkles looked almost pleased by this.
‘But there is something you can do to make amends before I go,’ said Missy airily. ‘You can grant these children new wishes. Proper wishes. Sensible wishes.’ She whirled about and glared at the children. ‘And you three must wish for proper, sensible things, too.’
‘But what?’ frowned Esme.
Missy said: ‘How about a bit of ambition, eh? What about wishing to become … ooh, I don’t know … let’s see … the Head of the Secret Service, eh? Or Chair of NATO? Or perhaps … the CEO of Galactico Chemicals?’
Jack, Esme and Peter all stared at her.
‘We don’t know what those things are,’ said Jack.
Missy rolled her eyes. ‘Well, of course you don’t. Not yet. But I’m thinking about the future and these are future things. They represent future security and success. You’re very lucky to have me here to impart my future knowledge to you.’
‘You’re right, thank you, Missy,’ said Esme. ‘We’ll take your advice and wish to become those very things. Whatever they are.’
‘Jolly good,’ said Missy, opening her carpet bag and throwing into it anything of value she could lay her hands on.
‘Boop,’ said Peter.
‘Is this really a good idea?’ hissed Jack. ‘We don’t know what any of those things are. NATO, and so on. It sounds all a bit queer.’
