It’s a baby. A baby boy. He’s wrapped up in a blue blanket, lying in a white crib. He’s sleeping and looks to be only days old. I pick it up, examining it more.
“That’s Henry.”
I look up to see Margaret standing next to me. “He’s beautiful,” I tell her.“Yes. He was.”
I place the picture back at her words and swallow nervously for looking at it. “I’m sorry …”
“No need to be sorry,” she assures me and picks it up herself. “I took this the day we brought him home.”
I frown. “Ashlyn has never mentioned a brother.”
“She didn’t know him,” she says, placing the picture back. “We got pregnant with Henry very young. I was in my last year of law school and already working at the firm full time. He was busy working all hours of the day and night.” She turns to face me. “We weren’t ready for the surprise, but we were happy.” She sighs. “But we didn’t understand what a child meant. We still worked our lives away. We hired a nanny, so he wouldn’t have to go to daycare. One day, we got a phone call that she had found him dead in his crib.”
“I’m so sorry,” I say, feeling awful for bringing up such a bad time.
Her eyes meet mine, and she smiles softly. “So were we.” She then sighs. “We decided that what we needed and what we wanted were two very different things. We both cut back at work. Sold our house and downsized. We decided that our careers could wait.” She chuckles “Why work your life away when you can live it? Anyway, three years later, we found out we were pregnant with Ashlyn. And she was our second chance. To do things right. To see what truly matters.” She places a hand on my shoulder. “She didn’t replace him, but she gave us a second chance to do things right. And not everyone gets that.”
As I listen to Margaret, I can hear the girls laughing and talking in the kitchen.
“Take care of her, please. Her father and I worry about her so much.”
With that, she walks away. I run a hand through my hair and release a sigh. I feel like she was speaking about me. The second chance she gave me after I walked away from her, and the fact I’m about to give up more of my life to take over O’Kane’s. Because she and I both know you can’t have both. One will always suffer.
**
I pull the purple sheets back on Ashlyn’s queen-size bed and crawl in while she takes off her makeup in the adjoining bathroom. I can’t seem to get what her mother told me out of my head. Second chances. What if I fuck up again? Will she give me a third? A fourth? How many times am I gonna fuck up before I realize that she is more important than my career?
“What’s on your mind?” she asks, interrupting my thoughts.
I look up to see her standing at the end of the bed with a smile on her face.
I pat the space beside me. She crawls up the bed and lies down facing me. “Talk to me. I can tell by the look on your face something is wrong. Is it work?”
“No,” I tell her.
“Is it me?” she asks, playfully shoving my shoulder.
“Yes,” I say honestly, and the smile drops off her face.
She sits up and crosses her legs in front of her. “What is it? Do you regret coming here?”
“What?” I sit up quickly. “No! Nothing to do with coming here. I’m glad we came here.”
She reaches out and runs her hand up and down my arm. “Me too. Thank you for this. It means so much to me.”
I grab her hand and bring it to my lips, softly kissing it. “I was serious.”
She tilts her head to the side. “About what?”
“You’re moving in with me,” I say, not wanting to put this conversation off any longer.
She pulls her hand from mine, and her head falls forward as she looks down at her legs. “I don’t think that’s a good idea …”
“We both said we were all in,” I remind her.
She looks up at me. “We did.”
“Then what’s the problem?” I ask.
She sighs and gets out of her bed. She starts pacing as she runs a hand through her blond hair. “Because words and actions are completely different things, Ryder.”
“So I tell you I love you, but you don’t believe I do?” I ask, slowly trying to figure out what she means.
“I believe it,” she growls, getting angry. “But if I give up my freedom …”“Freedom?” I ask, getting out of bed myself. “You feel you’ll be a prisoner if you move in with me?” I cross my arms over my chest.
She stops pacing, and she narrows her eyes at me. “You didn’t let me finish.”
“By all means.”
She looks at me for a few seconds and then turns away from me. “Never mind,” she mutters to herself, heading to her bedroom door.
“Oh, no!” I state and grab her upper arm, spinning her around. “Whatever you’re thinking, you’re gonna tell me.”
She sighs heavily as her eyes meet mine. “You walked out on me. I then found out I will be losing my job.” She brings up the one thing we haven’t talked about since we got back together, and I’m not sure what to tell her. “And now Becca is moving in with Jaycent. If I move in with you, what will I have left?”
I take a step into her. “You’re not losing your job,” I say, and it’s complete bullshit! We both know that, but it sounds good. We can work that out later. “And you’re not losing me.”
“You say that now.” She rolls her eyes.
“And I’ll keep saying it,” I assure her.
“Ryder, I—”
“Please,” I interrupt her. “Please move in with me.” I’m begging her ‘cause I know what will happen once we get back to New York. I’ll be working twenty-four seven and never see her. That company is gonna take all my time, and having her live with me is the only thing I care about right now. I want to know that when I walk in my door, no matter what time it is, she will be in my bed. Not across town or back here in Seattle. I need her, and that is me being selfish, but that’s the truth.
She slowly gives me a soft smile, and I almost fist pump the air. “What about Harry?” she asks.
“I love that little rat,” I say, and she laughs.
I pull her into me. “So ... yes? You’ll move in with me?” I ask, needing to hear her say the words as I run my hand through her hair.
“Yes.” She laughs. “I’ll move in with you.”
I bend down and pick her up before tossing her onto the bed. She laughs as I land on top of her. “This is insane,” she says.
“I know.” I have to agree with her but for different reasons. She thinks we’re moving too fast. I can’t believe I was lucky enough to find the one in a million. A woman who makes me feel like the king of the world. Her world.
**
It’s been a week since my father told me the news about his plans for the company. Seattle was exactly what I needed. Her parents took us out and showed us the town during the day, and then the girls took me and Jaycent out at night to show us their favorite bars and places to shop. It was nice to relax. Forget about the busy streets of New York. I have always loved Manhattan but being in Seattle made me wonder what my life would be like if Ashlyn and I had a home with some land. Cars in the driveway and kids in the backyard. How simple life would be without the hustle and bustle. And if you ask me, it would be great.
Now we’re back, and things are what they always have been—work. I’ve always wanted this, but things change. And Ashlyn is my game changer. Losing her would be worse than anything. I know; I’ve felt what that was like once.
But as I sit at the conference table reading over the papers that my father’s lawyer wrote up, I find myself smiling. And it’s not the words on the paper, but the words written across the screen on my phone.
Ashlyn: You can do it. Don’t doubt it, believe it. I love you.
“Ryder?” my dad calls out.
I blink and look up at him. “Yes, sir?”
He points his finger down at the paperwork. And I sign the last line.
“That’
s all, gentlemen,” Duncan, my father’s lawyer says. “Ryder?” I stand. “Congratulations.” He reaches out and shakes my hand.
“Thank you, sir,” I say with a swift nod.
My father and he say their goodbyes, and then he turns to face me. “Well, I’ll leave you to it,” he says, slapping me on the shoulder.
“What?” I ask, and my voice is high, showing the panic I feel. “You’re just leaving like that?” I ask.
He nods, sliding his suit jacket on. “I have somewhere to be,” he says.
I go to speak, but his phone rings. I catch that it says blocked number before he answers it. “Right on time,” he says as if he already knew who it was. “Yes.” He lowers his voice. “I’ll be there in twenty.” Then he hangs up.
I follow him out of the conference room. “Where are you going?” I pry.
“I’ll be back in a few hours,” he informs me. “Don’t let the place fall apart before then.” He laughs at his joke, and I shake my head. Something is wrong with him.
“Who was that on the phone?” I ask as he presses the button for the elevator.
“Wrong number.”
The doors open, and he enters. I follow. “You do know that I could hear you, right? Who was that?” I ask again.
He ignores me as he presses the lobby button. “Dad?” I snap.
He turns to face me. “What?”
I stare at him in disbelief. “What the hell is going on with you?”
“Whatever do you mean?”
My mouth falls open. “You … you just signed away all your shares to your company and stepped down as CEO, and now you’re running off to God knows where, and you’re making crappy jokes.”He just stares at me, and I turn to fully face him. “Are you having an affair?” I ask. That’s the only thing that makes sense to me at this moment. Mom knows, and she wants his company as revenge. He’s finally found the woman he wants to be with, and he will give anything to have her. I know; I’d do the same for Ashlyn.
He chuckles. “No.”
“I don’t believe you,” I growl, narrowing my eyes at him. He just shrugs as the elevator comes to a stop. The doors open, and I walk out behind him. “Have a good day, son,” he calls out as he places a pair of sunglasses on his head and then walks out the glass doors without a care in the world.
I watch as he gets into his waiting car and then run outside. “Do you need me to call Milton for you, sir?” the doorman asks.
“No,” I say and hail a cab. He looks at me strangely as I crawl into the back. “Follow that black Town Car,” I order.
If I followed him in the Escalade, he would know it’s me. This way, he can’t see me.
An hour later, we pull into a neighborhood outside Manhattan. Traffic was a bitch, and it took us an hour to get where it should have taken us less than twenty. But I sit up straight when I see the car pull into a driveway. “Stop here!” I order, and the cab pulls up to the curb.
I watch my father get out of the back of his car as the front door opens to the yellow house. What I see has my heart pounding in my chest. A woman who I know very well steps out dressed in a long fitting dress that matches the house. Her black hair down and a smile on her face.
“What the …?”
A little girl runs out of the house and down the stairs. I see her little lips move but can’t hear what she’s saying as she runs to my father. He bends down and picks her up, spinning her around.
A pain forms in my chest at what I’m seeing. My father is having an affair, and it has resulted in a child.
I throw some cash at the driver and get out, slamming the door. I walk up to the house, and the woman spots me. The smile drops off her face, and her eyes widen. “Ryder …”
My father spins around, the little girl still in his arms. “What are you doing here?” he demands, realizing I followed him.
I let out a laugh, but it holds no humor. “You wanna tell me what you’re doing here with Jaycent’s sister?”
Ashlyn
I get out of the Escalade and thank Milton for the ride. Now that Ryder and I are back together, I don’t have to take cabs anymore. One more thing to be thankful about since my life isn’t in the hands of the crazy cab drivers here anymore.
“Good morning,” I say with a smile on my face when I spot Thomas behind the desk. But he doesn’t return it. Instead, he stands and meets me halfway.
“We have a meeting upstairs,” he says.
I frown at his tone. “Did you wake up in a bad mood this morning?” I ask, but he doesn’t answer. “Are you okay?” I ask, placing my hand on his shoulder. He shrugs it off. “Thomas. What’s wrong?” I demand.
“Come on, Ashlyn.” He gives me his back and starts to walk up the stairs.
I follow him and enter Mrs. Mills’s office. She sits behind her desk with a set of paperwork in front of her. She stands as Thomas sits down in a chair. I sit beside him.
“What’s going on?” I can’t help but ask.
She sighs as she comes around the desk and stands in front of us.
“I have called this meeting because something has come to my attention.”
My brows rise. I look at Thomas and then back at her. “Are we in trouble or something?” I can’t help but ask with a chuckle. They both look so serious.
“We’re closing,” she announces.
“What?” I ask, sitting up straighter. No. Mr. O’Kane told me it would take time.
“I’m sorry,” she says with a heavy sigh. “The owner did not want me to tell you due to procedure and lawsuits, but I want you two to have enough time to find somewhere to go.”
Thomas snorts, and I stand. “How long do we have?” I ask as my mind spins.
“One week,” she says.
“One week?” I ask wide-eyed. “So …what? In one week, you’re just gonna close the doors?”
She nods. “I’m sorry.” Mrs. Mills looks at me. “But you can’t be this surprised. You put in your two weeks’ notice three weeks ago. So you must have seen this coming …”
“Yes. I had been warned, but then I had also been told by Mr. O’Kane himself it could take time. And to give it a month.” She looks away from me and clears her throat. I guess him telling me a month three weeks ago would fit this timeline. I’ve been too wrapped up in Ryder and me back together that I have lost track of time. “Have you spoken to him since you ratted me out?” I demand. I know she was the one who told him I put in my notice. Because I hadn’t told anyone else.
“I have not,” she answers my question. “But I can’t discuss the situation at hand other than informing you of the closing.”
I open my mouth and then close it. I slowly sit back down and try to figure out how in a matter of weeks I have lost my job. How could Ryder not warn me? A heads-up? I know he’s busy with work, but still, this is my job. My future and for him not to warn me …
“So what do you plan on doing for us?” Thomas asks softly.
“Doing for you?” she repeats as if she didn’t understand the question.
“Yes,” he says with bite. “You know? We have rights when termination is fulfilled. I can’t speak for Ashlyn, but I have been here five years. I have health insurance through Talia’s. Will we receive a severance package? Unemployment compensation?”
“I’m sorry; that’s not possible.”
“My signed contract stated that’s what would happen if I was fired,” he snaps.
“The circumstances have changed,” she tells him, ending the meeting.
I call Ryder, but he doesn’t answer. I sit down at the desk and try not to cry as the gallery phone rings.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
RYDER
I hear my phone ring in my pocket, but I ignore it. My father very slowly lowers the little girl to where her feet touch the ground. I finally get a good look at her. She has brown hair and big green eyes. She looks so much like Becca did at that age it takes my breath away.
“We need to talk,” my father says.
&nb
sp; I just nod ‘cause I don’t know what to say at the moment. We all make our way inside the house, and I find the first seat I can and sit. It’s the fireplace. Hanging my head, I run my hand down my face as bile starts to rise. Oh God, I slept with Rosie once. A very long time ago but it still happened, and now she’s been sleeping with my father. I’m gonna get sick …
“Here,” Rosie says, handing me a glass of water.
“Got any whiskey?” I ask roughly, and she nods before turning away.
“Son, it’s not what you think,” my father says, and I can’t help but laugh. That’s the same thing Ashlyn once said to me; although, at the time, I didn’t believe her. For the life of me, I can’t see this situation being anything other than what I see.
Rosie returns, handing me a glass of the whiskey, and I toss it back. “So this is why you gave over the company?” I ask, sucking in a deep breath from the drink. “So Mom wouldn’t get it when she finds out you’re leaving her for another woman.”
“Ryder …”
Rosie begins, but my father raises his hand to silence her just as the little girl runs into the living room. She has a blanket in her hand. It’s so long she drags it behind her. I sit up straight as she comes to a stop in front of me.
“Hi,” she says to me in the cutest little voice I’ve ever heard.
I swallow. “Hello.” My voice still rough.
“You’re my brother,” she states, and all breath leaves my lungs. “Mommy gave me this.” She holds the blanket up, and numbly, I take it from her. It’s a picture of me, Becca, Jaycent, and Rosie. It’s at Rosie’s high school graduation. And my chest tightens at the way this little girl gives me a huge smile. And at this very second, I wish to be as innocent as her.
I nod at her ‘cause what else is there to do?
“Maggie?” Rosie says, and the little girl turns around to face her. “Will you go play in your room for a little bit?” she asks. “Mommy needs to have an adult conversation.”
She nods her head quickly, making her brown hair bounce. Then she takes off in a mad dash through the living room, the picture blanket dragging behind her.
Selfless (Selfish Series Book 3) Page 15
