“I do. Using a dagger means hand-to-hand combat, which is a lot more dangerous.” The disgust in his voice hits me like an open-handed slap. “You’re being stupid,” he says.
“Jacob. You’re fifteen years old. You can’t even drive yet. Claire is ten. It isn’t right,” I plead. “What would Mom say? She’d ground me for life if she knew I let you carry guns!”
“Does that mean you won’t be using one either?” Jacob challenges.
“Emily hardly needs a weapon as primitive as a gun,” Kaillen says. “Drake says she IS a weapon.”
Everyone stares at me.
“I…that isn’t…I don’t think…that’s ridiculous!”
“We witnessed your immense capacity to wield power in the vision, Lady,” the General says. “You are Ovate. It’s why we were sent to retrieve you.”
“Whatever.” Ugh! Why aren’t they listening? “That doesn’t mean I have to fight. I’m going to break the Seal and when I’m done we’re going home.”
“So you just expect the Fae to risk their lives to protect us?” Jacob asks.
“No. I’ll protect you.”
“How?” Jacob asks. “You’ll be busy breaking the Seal and not fighting, remember?”
Quince intercedes. “Perhaps instead of training with firearms you children would find it useful to learn about Blaze and Keen in preparation for your own Changings.”
Shit.
I know she’s trying to diffuse the situation, but Quince’s words are like a punch in the gut. Of course I knew my brothers and sister have Magic, too. When I look at all three of them it’s like being in a dim dusty room with sun-shafts shining through a window. Tiny specks of potential—millions of them—zip around each of their bodies. Jacob’s follow him like a shadow of light.
I was just hoping they wouldn’t ever have to know.
Jacob and Aidan watch me, expectant. They don’t seem surprised.
Claire, on the other hand, looks like she won the lottery. “Oh my GOSH oh my GOSH oh my GOSH!” She jumps up and down flapping her arm. “Did you hear what Lady Quince said, Emma? Am I really going to be a maiden? OH MY GOSH!” her hands fly to cover the round O of her mouth. “What if I’m Ovate like you?” She squeezes her eyes shut, dancing a little jig in a circle.
“Oh good lord,” Jacob mutters. “Claire you’re embarrassing yourself. For the love of all that is Good and Holy, please calm down.”
I kiss Claire’s densely freckled forehead then look at Quince. “Thanks, but no. Drake says he can scorch the Blaze out of my wings when I break the Seal. Once you leave for the First Realm we’ll take Mom and go back home.”
“Great.” Jacob’s tone implies he thinks it’s anything but great. “You’ve made this decision for me too. Maybe the biggest decisions of my life so far, and you’ve made it without even consulting me. Tell me why, exactly, you feel that my decision to Change is any of your business? You aren’t my mother. I don’t belong to you.”
“Jacob, please. Let’s talk about this later. I don’t want to argue with you right now.”
“I don’t want to talk about it later. This is my life, not yours.”
I don’t like confrontation ever, but I will go an especially long way to avoid conflict with Jacob. He comes at me from all sides with his giant brain. It’s like being flayed. His words and tone incise my flesh from bone with serrated sharpness while I hiss and spit—an animal backed into a corner. It’s not something I recover from easily. We both tacitly agreed a long time ago to be on our best behavior when it comes to disagreeing.
Apparently he’s changed his mind about that.
“Jacob, you’re my brother,” I plead. “Of course it’s my business. You’re only fifteen years-old and I’m in charge.”
“Yeah, about that. You’re barely two years older than me. And FYI, you’re not in charge of this. You can’t stop me from going through puberty.”
His sarcasm cuts. “Jacob, please. No one wants to stop you from going through puberty.”
“Oh really? You just want to control which kind of adult I am, though, right? You think that because you don’t want to be Fae I shouldn’t want to be either?”
His words make too much sense, like always. I’m frightened. “Jacob, even if I gave you a Flame, none of the elves are strong enough in this Realm to give you a Spark. You can’t Change without both.”
“Um, Emily?” Aidan says, “I don’t think that’s actually true.”
“What isn’t true?”
“Well, you’re Ovate. You have male AND female powers. You could give each of us a Spark and a Flame. That way Jacob and I could have Keen and Claire could have Blaze.”
I’m floundering, and the worst part is I’m not sure why I’m so upset. I only know I have to make Jacob understand how dangerous it would be for him to Change.
“Jacob, you don’t even know if your powers would work here. Theirs don’t!” I point at Ian and Quince and Kaillen.
“Yours do.” His eyes bore holes through my logic.
“It’s not like Claire and I can bop around with wings! Drake is going to scorch mine out to break the Seal. What would we do, go to the ER and have Claire’s surgically removed when they start to grow? What’s the point in Changing? As a mortal you can be anything you want. We’ll go back to Texas and live normal lives together!”
“You really don’t get it, do you?” Jacob speaks with something between scorn and pity. “I’m not staying here. I’m going with Drake and the Fae to the First Realm.
My knees dip ground-ward for a split-second before I lock them. A faint high-pitched ringing shatters what remains of my calm.
I’m crumbling. I want so badly to be back home in the sweltering heat of Dallas, back to how it was before the runes appeared on my arm and I took Mom’s Blaze. Back when everything was predictable. It was hard, yes, doing the laundry and the shopping and the cooking. And sure, I was upset about losing my friends and nervous about repeating junior year and juggling homework with looking after Mom and everyone else, but in a way it was simple. There were no life-threatening decisions to make. There were no goblins or Glocks. No one was leaving.
Jacob is right—I can’t control him or stop him from being who he wants to be. He glares at me, his expression stone. He knows he’s won. But does he know what he’s saying?
I look at my brothers and sister and realize everything has already changed. Moments ago I had a purpose, a plan. Now my family is falling apart. How could I be so naive to think things could stay the same? That just because I ignored it, this day would never come? That if I buried my head in the sand I could play house with Jacob and Aidan and Claire forever?
I’ve run out of time.
“It’s been a long day,” Gabe walks up behind me, placing his strong hands on my shoulders. His lips are close to my ear. “You should get some rest.”
“Yes,” General Ian agrees. “I propose we begin Lady Emily’s training tomorrow. Lady Quince, would you be willing to meet with us in the morning at the grove to discuss our strategy?”
“Yes.”
“Everything will feel better after a nap.” Gabe whispers, moving even closer. His breath tickles the fine hairs on my neck. I shiver, giving just the teensiest nod. If I close my eyes I can almost imagine I’m alone with him. I want to lean back onto his chest and let him encase me in his arms.
But I can’t. My wings are in the way.
I open my eyes. Kaillen is watching me. He doesn’t look happy.
Shifting my weight, I take the smallest step away from Gabe. What the hell am I doing? Nothing makes sense anymore. Drawing my wings in tight around my shoulders I take Claire’s hand. Tears threaten to spill as I turn to Jacob and Aidan. “I love you both. So much.”
Aidan hugs me. “I love you, too, dork.”
Jacob nods but doesn’t say anything.
I clasp Claire’s fingers tight. Together we walk into the house. I make sure the screen door doesn’t slam behind us.
Ten year-old girls don’t like to nap. Especially not when there’s a vineyard full of maidens outside and a bunch of elves in a bunkhouse just beyond the stream. Claire runs off, leaving me alone and very lonely.
I’m glad when Hannah pushes open the door and lies down next to me on the bed so we’re face to face.
“Hey,” I whisper. “Don’t you want to go play with Claire?”
“I like being with you.”
She’s playing with the wingtip peaking over my shoulder. I pick up one of her braids. “You must miss the First Realm.”
She nods. “But it won’t be long now before we go home. I’m excited, but I’m sad, too.”
“Why sad?”
“Aunt Margaret says you’re staying here. I don’t want to leave you.”
I love the way her eyes shift colors as I watch, like they can’t decide whether to be green or blue.
I don’t want to think about leaving Hannah. But I’m beginning to realize not thinking about things is my M.O. I shove everything unpleasant deep down inside myself so I don’t have to deal with it. Only now I’m running out of space in there. Besides, it doesn’t make the unpleasant things go away. Eventually they bubble out.
“Please come with us.” Hannah says.
I lean closer so our foreheads touch. “Now you have one big eyeball, like a Cyclops!”
She giggles. “Come with us, Emma! The First Realm is amazing. We never grow old and we’re Magic. We would never have to say good-bye to each other.”
For a moment I allow myself to imagine what it would be like. Mom would come with us. All the people I love would be there…
“But what about Drake, Hannah? I don’t know why, but I don’t trust him. I don’t want him around Jacob and Aidan and Claire. Or Mom.”
“I know a secret.” Hannah touches my face with rain-soft hands and whispers: “In the First Realm you’re stronger than Drake. He can’t hurt you there, or anyone you love.”
“I need to think about it.”
“I know,” she says. “I brought you something. I found it in the medicine cabinet. It’ll help you sleep.” She cups a little white pill in her palm.
I almost moan in relief. “Thank you, Hannah. Thank you so much. This is just what I need. Will you tell the others I’m going to sleep for awhile?”
She nods, slipping off the bed. Tucking the blanket around me, she leans over and kisses my cheek, then draws the curtains closed before tiptoeing to the door. “I love you Emma.”
“I love you, too, Hannah.”
Twenty-Five
I wake to little girl laughter. Claire and Hannah sit at the foot of the bed. A purple dragonfly balances on Claire’s knee.
“Good morning,” Claire beams. “You slept for a really long time, all through the afternoon AND night! Did you know Xander can do tricks?”
Hannah holds her hands together, thumb and index fingers forming a heart. When Claire says ‘now!’ Xander darts through Hannah’s fingers upside down.
I sit up, stretching. “Wow!” I’m glad Xander isn’t sending images of her aerial acrobatics. The idea makes me dizzy. “Morning, you two. Hey, can you both see the things the dragonflies are seeing? Like, pictures and colors and stuff in your head?”
“I can’t,” Claire says. “But maybe I’ll be able to after I go through puberty and my wings start to grow! Can you Hannah?”
Hannah shakes her head. “I’ve been seven for a really long time. My Blaze won’t work until my Changing and I can’t have that until we go back to the First Realm. But the grown-up maidens can talk to the dragonflies.”
I tug on her braid, wishing I hadn’t brought it up.
“Wouldn’t it be cool if we had our Changings at the same time?” Claire says to Hannah, her eyes wide with excitement.
Hannah squeals and bounces up on her knees. “We can grow up together and marry elf brothers and have babies at the same time!”
“The grown-up maidens still have wings here, right?” Claire asks. “They’re just hidden inside their bodies unless they shrink?”
“Yep.”
“Why don’t they just stay small then?”
Hannah shrugs. “Who wants to buzz around like an insect all the time?”
“Hannah! Why didn’t I think of this before?”
“What is it, Emma?”
“Xander and Twist are maidens! Why are they always in their insect forms?”
“Oh Emma, I thought you knew,” Hannah says. “Xander and Twist chose to stay this way when we were banished so they could serve as your guides. Most of the other maidens just use regular dragonflies. Insects have strong Magic.”
I contemplate the sacrifice of the twins, and find myself missing Sophie.
Claire and Hannah lay at the foot of the bed chatting, Hannah’s blond braided head resting in the crook of Claire’s shoulder while Xander zips around them doing lazy somersaults. I think they’ve forgotten I’m even here.
“Girls!” Comes a call from the kitchen.
“Oh!” Hannah exclaims. “That’s Aunt Margaret! I forgot, Emma. Xander came to get you for the meeting, but Aunt Margaret wants to talk to you first.”
“Oopsies!” Claire giggles. “You’re going to get in trouble, Emma. You’d better hurry.” Grabbing Hannah’s hand she whispers, “Let’s sneak to the river and spy on the elves.”
There aren’t a lot of clothing options that work with wings. I pull on shorts and the same tank top I wore yesterday, wash my face, brush my teeth, and run a comb through my hair before heading to the kitchen.
Aunt Margaret is dressed the same as always—pencil skirt, simple elegant top, string of pearls around her neck.
In the kitchen she wears a starched apron tied around her waist. She’s kicked off her patent leather pumps, going barefoot with her frosted hair pulled back. She’s shaping dough with a rolling pin. A perfect smudge of flour decorates her cheek.
“I see those silly girls forgot to tell you to dress in something nice for the strategy council.” She eyes my wrinkled clothes with disapproval.
“This is all I have.”
“Never mind. I’ve sent some maidens to the stone cottage. Go there right now and they’ll just have time to help you get ready. I need you to take this meeting seriously, Emily. It’s extremely important.”
“I know.”
“I want you to pay close attention to what the General has to say and do what you’re told. This isn’t a time to be clever or get lost in one of your daydreams. Just listen and obey, do you understand?
“Yes, ma’am.” I avoid her critical eyes.
“The General has centuries of experience and wisdom. You’re just a girl. You may ask questions pertaining to your training, but that’s all. Don’t embarrass yourself. You will behave with respect to your elders and speak when spoken to. I don’t know how on earth such an immature, fanciful girl could be the maiden from the vision. Frankly, I’m not convinced you have it in you. You may think being Ovate makes you special, but in reality it makes you a bit of a freak. Elves don’t like girls who are too big for their britches. Do you think you can manage not to screw this up, or do I need to come with you and hold your hand?”
“I promise to behave, ma’am.” I scour any emotion from my words and face.
“Good. You’ll be fine as long as you remember your place. Now hurry along. Twist is at the cottage already. Xander will take you there.”
“I wish we could talk face to face again,” I confide in Xander as we walk to the cottage. “I miss you. And Twist too, even though she’s kind of a brat.” Xander bobs in the air. I don’t know if she understands English, but it’s making me feel less lonely all the same. “How old are you now, anyway? You were fourteen
when I saw you in human form last…but that was weeks and weeks ago…” I smile. “Did I ever tell you that you remind me of my best friend Sophie? She’s small and sparkly, just like you, Xander. I miss her so, so much.”
It’s true. Even with all these people wanting things from me, I’m more alone than ever. Quince and Ian are preoccupied with returning to the First Realm. I’m crazy-shy around Gabe and nervous as hell around Kaillen, and I can’t confide in the kids. I need to be strong for them.
I follow Xander around a bend in the path and spot the cottage ahead. It’s more of a shed, really. Ivy invades its stone walls. Old growth trees tower behind. I imagine it was a shepherd’s hut once, before the maidens and elves claimed this basin for themselves.
The wooden door of the cottage swings open as I approach. Two young maidens in airy sundresses skip into the clearing. The flowers in their hair dance as they bob curtsies.
Word must have gotten around that I curtsied like an idiot when I met the General and Kaillen. I’m such a moron.
Laughing, they pull me inside, closing the door behind them.
“Aunt Margaret said you’d help me find something more appropriate to wear.”
“You’re late,” says a voice behind me. I turn to see a tall, slender maiden with long flowing brown hair drop an exaggerated curtsy.
The younger two walk around me, sizing me up. “You’ll never attract a proper mate looking like this.”
“No, I’m going to a strategy meeting for my training,” I stammer. “So I can open the Doorway. Not attract a mate.”
“Nonsense,” the tall one says. “There will be eligible men there. You’re nearly an adult. A maiden is nothing without a man, and this…” she waves her hand in front of my entire body…”is not doing you any favors.”
Indignation pumps in my chest. Are they being rude on purpose?
Riven: Young Adult Fantasy Novel (My Myth Trilogy Book 1) Page 16
